Spare Me The Trouble (Of Falling In Love With You)
by MoonStone2115
Summary: Everyone knows Ciel Phantomhive. That rich kid who is always accompanied by his butler. Clarissa seems to be the only one in school who doesn't hate or adores Ciel and his butler. But she does think there's something off about him. And fate has it that he thinks the same about her, making her unable to run from him or his butler...(SebastianXOC) *modern-day setting & anime-based*
1. Chapter 1

**_I do not own Kuroshitsuji (I wish I did, but nope, not the case)_**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 1**

Okay, so apparently we had an English test today. Yay.

Not that anyone learned for an English test these days, certainly not my class, but I would like to know when I have test so that I could consciously decide that I didn't want to learn. Seriously, I should write this sort of stuff down.

I looked at my phone while the teacher handed out the tests as slowly as possible. I knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but come on, we all knew what's going to happen if _he thought _it took too long.

And, of course, two minutes later my point got proven. Ciel, who always sat in the back row, preferable left, but sometimes right, gave the man dressed in black who stood next to him a sign. The man immediately walked towards the teacher, took a copy of the test and was back by his master's desk before our teacher could flinch.

Other people might have found this strange, but in my class, this was normal.

Ciel Phantomhive, a fifteen year old boy who owned the most successful toy and candy company in Europe. And when I say 'owned' I mean 'owned'. He didn't have parents to rule the place, so _he ruled _the place. The man dressed in black was his butler, who I thought looked way too young to be a butler (he was probably twenty-someting. Which twenty-year old is so out of options that he becomes a butler for a spoiled brat such as Ciel?). I didn't know much else about Ciel, only that he had skipped two years of school, which meant that he was now in the same year as us, the seventeen year olds.

Most people didn't really like Ciel. They just thought that he was a spoiled brat who did whatever the hell he wanted to. Which I didn't think they were mistaken in, but I didn't think that that was necessarily a bad thing.

No, the thing that made me feel uncomfortable when Ciel was around was his butler. The dark butler suit he always wore, even in the summer. The eyes that I always mistake as red, but people always say they're brown. The weird way he sometimes smiled. The always pale skin of his face, no matter how often that skin saw the sun. Everything that butler did just seemed… suspicious. And everything Ciel did, too, for that matter. But Ciel was clearly different. He did blush, he did get a tan. The only thing I had never seen, was Ciel's smile. You could say that that's logical, I mean, hello, he _did _lose his parents, but somehow it just sort of upset me.

Oh, by the way, my name is Clarissa. I'm seventeen years old and currently trying to find a question on this test, that the teacher just gave me, that I could answer. Which was an impossible mission, since I didn't study for this stupid thing.

The only one who was writing enthusiastically was, of course, Ciel. I was sitting in the middle of the class and looked over my shoulder to see that Ciel indeed was writing like a lunatic, clearly knowing all the answers. The other thing I saw was his butler, who looked at me the moments I looked at him. And of course, being the teenage girl that I was, I immediately looked away from his perfect face. God, I always forgot how hot that guy was.

But the school didn't. I know so many girls who either confessed or want to confess to him. He always turns them down, of course, which is to be expected, since he doesn't really know any of them, since he's always busy with his master.

I sighed and fight the urge to look at the butler and his master again.

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><p>XxX<p>

When lunchtime finally arrived, I was more tired than after skipping a night of sleep because I wanted to finish the book I was reading. I really, really, really wanted to go home, but knowing that I had still hours left to go, I forced myself to the cafeteria.

The first thing I saw, of course, was Ciel and his butler. Always sitting on the table in the left corner of the cafeteria, which was always the cleanest place. Not because people didn't make mess there, or because no one after sat there, but because the butler always cleaned it before Ciel took place. A few weeks ago, the butler left the classroom early once again, but that time, I actually dared to ask Ciel why his butler always leaves earlier when it's the class before lunch break.

'He goes to prepare my lunch,' Ciel had answered with his posh, bored voice.

I couldn't tell you what drew me to Ciel's table that day, but for some reason, I walked towards his table and stood still before the table, where Ciel was eating his sweets and what not at the other end.

'Can I help you?' he asked, not even looking up from his table.

'Well, no, not really,' I admitted, because that was the truth. What was I doing?

The butler's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say a word.

Ciel look up with a slightly annoyed expression on his face. 'Then why are you standing there?' he said.

'Good point,' was the only answer I gave. I looked around in the cafeteria, but I knew that there weren't any friends who could save me. Because I didn't have any. 'I was just wondering if maybe I could accompany you?' Oh, God. What was I saying?

Ciel made a sound and I wasn't sure what kind of sound, but it sounded disdainful. 'Do whatever you like.'

Wait, seriously? I though he was going to straight up murder me for even daring to ask. Kind of in shock I sat down, looking surprised at the kid.

The butler chuckled, as if he found my expression funny. Great. The hot guy was laughing at me. Just great.

'Sebastian,' Ciel said. 'I'm finished.'

The butler made a butler-like bow. 'Yes, my Lord. I'll clean it up right away.'

That was the moment that I made the stupid decision to open my mouth. 'Not that I'm against it or anything, but why do you always take your butler with you?'

'A King without pawns to move would be useless,' Ciel answered, making me feel strangely stupid. What did the king have to do with his butler? And pawns? What about them? Were we talking about chess without me knowing?

'Aha,' was my reaction, because I didn't want Ciel to think that I couldn't understand him. That would be a tiny bit too embarrassing.

The butler had already finished cleaning up Ciel's lunch and was already pulling Ciel's chair backwards so that Ciel could stand up from his chair. 'Well, it was a delight talking to you, miss… Whatever, but I have to get to my next class.' And with that he left, leaving me alone in the cafeteria, where everyone was staring at me.

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><p>XxX<p>

When I arrived at school that morning, I noticed that Ciel was absent. And that was really strange, seeing as he never missed a day of school before. He was always there.

So, being the curious little idiot that I was, I decided to visit his house after school to give him an update of the homework and to see how he was doing.

And when I said house, I should have said castle.

Not that it really was a castle. Just a really, really, _really _big mansion that looked like one. My god, do people actually hear the doorbell in such a large house?

Apparently they did, because when I ringed the doorbell a maid with a strange purple-like hair colour and giant round glasses. She reminded me of Harry Potter, but then a female maid-version. 'H-h-h-hello,' she said with a strange voice. As if she was forcing the words out of her mouth. 'C-can I help you?' she asked.

I highly doubted that, I mean, she looked like a pretty helpless maid. But I decided to play friendly today. 'Yes,' I said, putting on my best smile. 'I'm looking for my classmate. Ciel Phantomhive.' Not that I needed to mention his last name since the maid obviously already knows what her master's last name is.

'Y-y-yes!' she said nervously. She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could she was pushed away by white gloves, who belonged to the butler. 'Can I help you?' he asked with a tone in his voice that made me feel very unwelcome.

'Um…' I said, trying to act unmoved by his perfect face, which I wasn't. My god, this guy was _way _too hot. He could be a model and earn a lot more money than he probably gets from that kid. 'I'm looking for Ciel.' It sounded like a question.

A fake smile appeared on his face. 'I'm very sorry, but the young master is sick today and doesn't want to have meetings in his state of being.'

'Is it Lizzie?' I heard a familiar voice say from behind the tall butler.

The first thing I noticed was that he didn't sound sick.

'No, it's not,' the butler answered. 'It's a classmate of yours. Clarissa Lane, if I remember correctly.'

Why the hell did that butler know my last name? That was kind of… strange. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be flattered by that or freaked out.

Ciel pushed his butler aside so that he was able to see me. 'What the hell are you doing here?' he asked, definitely meaning to make me feel as unwelcome as possible.

Suddenly, the butler smirked as if his master had said something funny. I felt really stupid because I didn't get the joke, but maybe it was an inside joke of his.

Ciel gave his butler a cold glance. 'Don't look like that, Sebastian,' he ordered.

Sebastian's smile faded immediately.

Ciel turned his head back to me. 'So, why are you here?' he asked cold and bored. Almost uninterested. But if he was he wouldn't have asked the question, of course.

'I'm here to tell you about the homework that we have tomorrow and I just wanted to check if you were okay,' I said, feeling like a complete idiot. I believe even the maid didn't stutter as much as I did during that once sentence.

Ciel raised one eyebrow and looked at me as if he didn't believe a word a was saying. And I didn't blame him. I wouldn't believe myself either. Then he sighed. 'You don't even live in this area, do you?' he suddenly asked.

The question confused me. 'Not really. Why?'

'I guess you could come inside for a cup of tea. Sebastian,' Ciel said while walking back inside.

'Yes, my Lord,' the butler said to his master. After that, he turned to me. 'Is Ceylon tea good enough for you?' he asked me, as if I would have any idea what 'Ceylon tea' was.

'Um, sure?' I said, a bit confused. Did Ciel really just invite me inside for tea? That was something really nice. Way nicer than I thought Ciel could be.

Sebastian put on a polite smile. 'Then I shall bring you to young master's office before preparing the tea.'

'Okay,' was my brilliant reaction. I stepped inside the mansion and started to follow Sebastian as he directed me through the impressive halls. I couldn't believe that someone could live in this sort of place. It looked like something from a movie, or something you visit with your family when your mother thinks museums are a good idea for the whole family.

The butler Sebastian was silent as he leaded me to Ciel's office, but I thought that I could hear the maid scream curses sometimes.

It took longer than I thought to get to the office. As soon as I entered, Sebastian was gone. Great. If he could disappear like that, he could probably appear like that as well. And I was really bad with jumps cares.

I looked around the office. Since I was now used to the place a bit, I wasn't impressed by the office. Not that is wasn't absolutely awesome and movie-like like the rest of the mansion, but I was slowly getting used to that.

There was a desk, a windows behind it so that the small chair behind it looked more impressive, another table and a few bookcases. Ciel wasn't sitting in the chair behind the desk, he was sitting at the table. On the table stood a chess board. Ciel pointed at the empty chair at the other end of the table. 'Sit,' he said, as if I didn't have a choice.

Obedient as a dog, I sat down immediately.

'Your turn,' he said, as if this was a very normal way of starting a game of chess.

'Um… I don't play chess,' I said in all honesty. Sure, I had seen people play it before and I think I kind of know the rules, but I had never played it before. Playing chess is hard when you have no one to play it with.

'Oh,' Ciel said, hiding his irritation. But that didn't mean I couldn't see it.

We were silent for a while and right at the moment I wanted to open my mouth to break the silence, the window shattered. And men who looked like the savages that lived in my village, only dressed a bit better, entered the office.

'There he is! Get him!' one of them shouted. The group men started to attack us. I froze out of fear and shock, but Ciel didn't even look remotely scared or shocked. He acted as if this was just another day at the office.

'Who is the girl?' another one asked. As they grabbed both me and Ciel. Ciel wasn't even struggling, but I tried with all my might. Not that I had much might, let alone any of it, but that didn't mean I didn't try.

'Don't care, just take her with you! Boss has warned us about the employee's this kid has.' And with that, someone put me over his shoulder and started to carry me out of the window.

I glanced at Ciel, who one of them also put over their shoulders. He looked very calm as they started to run towards the car that was waiting for us.

Oh, how much fun this was. First day at the Phamtomhive's house and I got kidnapped. If this wasn't a warning from God, I warning to tell me to stay away from this kid, I didn't know what else this was supposed to be.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 2**

I wasn't sure when I passed out, but when I awoke I was lying on the floor in an expensive looking room. And, of course, I wasn't alone. At the other end of the room, as far away from the door as possible, Ciel lay on the ground. He was tied up just like I was, but he got more attention then I got. A man was standing before him and from what I could see, the man was wearing a white suit and had blond hair. And he sounded like a complete asshole.

'"_The order of England's underworld_". One of the "_villainous nobles_" that have assumed the bad-guy role for the royal family for generations. "_The Queen's guard dog_" who uses his absolute power to bite to death anyone who opposes her… Just how many nicknames do you have? And how many royal families have you crushed, Ciel Phantomhive?'

That was the moment when Ciel looked up, revealing his face full of little wounds. 'I thought it was you, Azzurro Vanel of the Ferro family!' he said, no fear or pain in his voice. I had to admit, that kid was pretty strong.

'Say, little Phantomhive, it's though for the Italian Mafia in this country,' The man, Azzurro, said, as if it would explain anything.

I tried to understand their conversation, but clearly I was missing way too much information. I guessed this man, Azzurro Vanel, kidnapped Ciel for money and because he was a child, he was an easy target. But he didn't look like he needed money. Neither did this place.

'All these Englishman have tea-encrusted brains,' Azzurro continued.

Okay, that was just hypocrite and so not true. I tried to move, but I was not only tied up, but also tied to the ground, so that I couldn't even move. I also didn't want to make any big movement, because no one paid attention to me now and I would like to keep it that way. Sorry, Ciel.

I looked at the men standing by the door. They were all dressed in black. Okay, so stupid blond guy was probably the leader.

'People in the family business like us have to use our brains to come up with smart ways to make money,' Azzurro said, closing in on Ciel and kneeling down so that he could look him in the eye. This action caused me to lose sight of Ciel. 'And that's exactly what drugs are for.'

Oh, God. I hated this man more and more every second he spoke.

'In the Pharmacy Act of '68 even opium was listed as restricted.' Ciel sounded still calm and composed as he spoke and it started to worry me. Which kid acts like that when he gets kidnapped by such a scary bunch of men? 'The Queen has ordered me to not let the vermin or the drugs run wild anymore.'

Wait, what? Did the Queen, as in the _Queen _Queen give Ciel orders? Or was it just a code name? In any case, why the hell would anyone order _him _to do such a thing? Sounds kind of dangerous. And I think there are more professional people to follow that kind of order.

Azzurro sighed. 'Aaah! This is why I hate Englishmen! The Queen this, the Queen that… You're all a bunch of stupid mama boys when it comes to your Queen.' He started to sound more and more angry the more he spoke. 'You try to line your own pockets while you bind us with rules… But we're birds of a feather, aren't we? Let's get along.' He'd grabbed Ciel's face and held it close to his. Yikes.

'I've left orders for my servants,' Ciel bluffed, still calm, 'to give your storehouse key to the authorities if I don't come back.' Liar. I knew he hadn't. But that meant that Azzurro probably knew, too. Unless he'd told them before I arrived, but that would mean he knew he'd be attacked. 'Sorry, but I have no intention of becoming friends with a filthy rat like you.'

I gasped when Azzurro straighten himself and pointed a gun at Ciel's face. I wasn't even sure where he'd got the gun from, but it terrified me more then everything that had happened before this. _Oh, God, this is serious._

'Don't you underestimate an adult, you damned brat!' he shouted. 'I already have my men waiting at your estate.' Well, yeah, we knew. We were there, remember? 'Where's the key? Spit it out fast, or I'll kill your servants one by one.'

_Oh, God. Oh, God, Oh, God. I should've just gone home. Why did I go and check on Ciel? I barely knew him!_

And then, the strangest thing happened.

Ciel smiled.

He _smiled?!_

First off, I had never seen Ciel smile, so that looked really, really weird. But stranger was the situation. Was it something to smile at? Ciel turned his head a little and spoke with the same, strange smile on his face: 'You'd better hope your little lap dogs know how to fetch.'

_Wham!_

Azzurro had kicked Ciel in his face, making him fall over. I screamed, but still no one looked at me. I guess they knew I wasn't a threat. Just a silly little girl who happened to be at the wrong time at the wrong place. Which was one hundred percent true, of course.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help him. I just had to watch how Ciel laid there on the ground. Blood was dripping down his face, but I wasn't sure where it was coming from.

Azzurro grabbed his mobile phone and called someone. 'Negotiations are down,' he said harshly. He put the phone away after that and in the silenced that followed I could only imagine what would happen to Sebastian, or the helpless maid. Gosh, Ciel's house had been so big, there must've been hundreds of people working there. Were they all going to die?

The silence was awful, but when I looked at Ciel, I saw that he didn't even look a bit worried. Did he have that much trust in his employees? Or was it just that he didn't care?

It was Azzurro's phone that broke the silence. When he picked it up, his face went from angry to infuriated. 'Messed it up?!' he screamed into the phone.

I was sure that 'messed it up' meant something positive for us. But it surely wasn't enough to celebrate.

'You useless fools! This is the problem with scum like you… Forget it! Just get back here!' he looked angry, but after he while his expression changed. Did his mood just change from angry to… worried? 'What's with you guys? Did you attract to much attention?' A pause. Then his face went worried to panic. 'Cut it out already!...'

Then a scream, so loudly even I could hear it, came through the phone. What the hell was going on? Who attacked Azzurro's employees? And why? Were they trying to save Ciel?

'H-hey… what happened?' Azzurro asked, clearly receiving no answer.

And then, since he's timing was apparently messed up, Ciel started laughing. As if someone made a joke. As if those people who were on the phone just a minute ago did not presumable die. 'Sounds like your game of fetch failed,' he said, as if _he _was the villain.

_Oh boy, that boy was messed up._

That didn't mean that it was fun to watch Azzurro beating the crap out of him. It was the first time I could hear Ciel make sounds of pain.

I closed my eyes the moment Azzurro shouted: 'Quiet, you damn brat!'

I only dared to open my eyes again when he sound of beating and Ciel's small cries stopped. 'Hey if you don't answer me right now, I swear I'll kill you guys!' Azzurro said, talking into the phone again.

_Dang, idiot, you can spare the trouble, I presume that someone else has already killed whoever was on the other end of the phone for you._

Then there was a huge change in his face. I thought that I'd seen him look worried, but I'd been wrong. Now he looked worried. As if he had seen the devil, no, heard the devil through the phone.

_If only that were the case, _I thought, starting to wish for a miracle.

Azzurro started to shake, he opened his mouth, but there were no words coming out of it. Whoever was on the phone now, he or she freaked the guy out.

'Woof,' Ciel said suddenly, his head facing the wall and his back facing me and the rest of the room. Okay, so he lost it, too, then. Good to know that this sort of situation _does _indeed affect him.

I wasn't sure if it was Ciel's 'woof' or the person on the other side of the phone, but Azzurro seemed to lose it too. He look scared to death. He put his phone away and turned towards the other men in the room. 'The Phantomhive guard dog is going to burst in here!' he screamed, totally not making sense any more. Whose dog was about to burst in? 'Tighten the security! Don't even let a single rat in here! Don't let him set even one foot inside!'

The silence that followed was unbearable. I didn't understand a single thing that was happening, the only thing I could understand was that Azzurro had gone _cuckoo_. He walked restlessly through the room, cursing, shouting, sometimes kicking Ciel just because he could.

We could all hear it when it started. The gunshots outside the room, the loud sound of screams and things falling. I repeatedly heard the sound of something breaking… glass maybe?

That was the moment that Azzurro pointed his gone towards the door.

We all heard the footsteps drawing closer, but it didn't make me feel relieved or almost-saved. It made me feel just as nervous as Azzurro looked.

Then the footsteps stopped. We all knew that whoever was out there, he was here. Then the door got pushed open calmly.

What the… _Sebastian?_

This was the guy that he'd been so scared of? All that extra security for Ciel's butler? Who was that guy? Was he not just a butler? Well, probably not, since he didn't look harmed in any way. I though no one would get to us alive. He seemed fine.

_Maybe he's not only his butler, but also his bodyguard. You know, secret service and stuff. _

Completely calm, Sebastian stepped inside the room. He didn't even seem to care that a gun was pointing at his head. He even bowed. 'I came to retrieve my master,' he said politely.

_You've got to be kidding me…_ What the hell was it with these people and their inability to care?

Sebastian, still bowing, looked at me for a short moment and his eyes sharpened, as if my presence was unwanted here. _Great, now finally someone looks at me and they give me _that _look._

Azzurro laughed and relaxed a bit, not impressed by Sebastian's appearance. 'Ha! This is a surprise,' he said, and for once he was right. 'I was imagining a brawny giant, but you're just some milksop in a tailcoat.' A _hot _milksop in a tailcoat. 'Who are you? You can't be just a butler. There must be more to you then you and that brat care to admit.'

_My thoughts exactly._

Sebastian stood back up. 'No,' was his simple answer. 'I am merely one hell of a butler… That's all.'

_Like hell that was all._

Azzurro laughed a short laugh. 'Oh, really? At any rate, I don't intend to fight you. But…' He stepped back and grabbed Ciel's hair, pulling him up.

I shivered as I looked at Ciel's pained face.

Azzurro put one arm around Ciel and with the other he pointed the gun at Ciel's head. I looked from Azzurro to Sebastian, but the only response Sebastian gave was that he parted his lips slightly. Azzurro laughed as if he had made the most genius move he could've ever made. 'You better have brought what I wanted,' he said to Sebastian.

Still calm and composed, just like Ciel was most of the time (I wasn't sure who learned from who, but those two were clearly made for each other), Sebastian reached with his hand in his coat. 'Yes,' he answered. He took a key out of his coat. 'Here it is,' he said, a smile on his face.

And then he got shot.

'Seba-' Ciel tried to scream, but he stopped himself from saying anything else. Finally, his face showed fear, sorrow, emotion.

Shooting him once wasn't enough. They kept shooting him until he fell on the ground.

If I could use my hands I would've used them to put them in front of my face. I didn't want to see any of this. _Not after everything I'd seen._

Ciel's face showed pure shock. His mouth, blood on both sides of it, hung open as if he was still trying to scream. But he didn't.

I glanced at the portrait that was now ruined. The portrait I sat right next to. People from behind the portrait had shot Sebastian and now that there task was done, they left their hiding place.

Azzurro started to laugh a crazy and relieved laugh, as if he was scared it wouldn't have worked. 'Sorry, milksop, but I win this game!' he said laughing. His laugh was making me sick.

I couldn't believe that Sebastian was dead. Ciel and Sebastian always seemed like one thing to me. Want one, get the other. _That's not the case anymore._

Azzurro was still talking crazy winners-bull crap. 'I'm up against Phantomhive, the game master, so of course I had a trump card to play!' He pulled Ciel's hair and directed his next words to him. 'I damaged the goods a little bit, but you should fetch a good price, even if they can't sell your parts.' With his gun, he removed Ciel's eye patch.

_A year ago Ciel entered our classroom, accompanied by his butler. We didn't know who this kid was, why he was here, where he was from and why he had a butler at his side. The only thing we knew was that he would be in our class starting that day._

_ '__Greetings,' he had said. 'My name is Ciel Phantomhive and I'll be in your class from now on.'_

_As soon as he said his name, the whispers started._

_ '__Phantomhive… isn't that the family that got killed a few months ago?'_

_ '__No, no. Only the parents got killed. The kid lived.'_

_ '__D-do you think that he… he's their son?'_

_One of the stupider people in class shouted: 'Why does he have that eye patch-thing?!'_

_That was unbelievably rude. I knew that. Most of the people from the class knew that and no one would have asked except him._

_But that didn't mean that we didn't want to know._

_ '__My eye became this way the day my house got invaded and my parents were brutally killed right before my eyes,' Ciel answered coldly._

_We all fell still. The brute way he'd said it the way he looked… it was just way too sad…_

Ciel held his eye closed with all his might and something about that made me really sad. The same kind of sadness I felt when I'd first seen him. The face he made was the face of a lonely kid. A lonely kid only pretending to be brave.

Azzurro put the gun under Ciel's chin. 'No need to be shy. By the time some pervert takes you in-'

'Hey!' Ciel interrupted him. 'How long are you going to play around?' He was clearly not talking to Azzurro, but it didn't make any sense. 'How long do you intend to play dead?'

_Huh?_ He was talking to Sebastian? And it sounded like he really believed that his butler was only pretending to be dead.

'Ciel,' I started, finally brave enough to say something. It was just too sad to see Ciel in denial about his butler's death.

'Goodness gracious,' a familiar voice said, making everyone except Ciel shiver.

_No way…_

Sebastian's fingers moved.

'T-that's impossible!' Azzurro screamed. His henchmen started to back away from Sebastian.

I didn't know how to react. I mean, how was I _supposed_ to react? Even if the butler did wear something to protect himself from bullets, he got clearly shot in the head. I'd seen the blood!

Sebastian got up in a way that I didn't think was even possible. He just… rose. As if he was a zombie rising from his grave. Which would be more believable than what was going on here.

Wait… _what_ exactly was going on here?

'Today's guns are so much more efficient than those from hundred years ago,' Sebastian said, making a strange move with his head. When his head was back up, I saw how bloody his cloves were. But I couldn't see what he had in the one glove he was holding in front of his face. 'I'll give these back to you,' he said murderously.

Azzurro panicked once again, this time he seemed to be out of options. 'What are you waiting for?!' he screamed to his henchmen. 'Kill him!'

That order made them raise their guns again, but it didn't help much. Sebastian threw whatever he'd had in his hands towards them, killing each and every one of them. When one fell down right at my feet I saw that the thing he threw were bullets.

_His bullets. And thrown so fast that it killed them._

I swallowed.

Azzurro had frozen, giving Sebastian the time to check his clothes. I when I say 'time to check his clothes' I mean 'time to check his clothes'. And he even made a remark on the state of his clothes. 'Oh dear, my clothes are full of holes,' he said calmly.

'That's what you get for fooling around, you idiot,' Ciel said, calm but irritated. He emotion I'd seen of his face just a while ago had disappeared. Had it all been an act? Did he know that his butler wouldn't die?

Then Sebastian made the strangest remark of the day. 'Young master, you look good.'

It surprised me so much that I blurred out: 'No, he doesn't!'

Of course, I got ignored. Sebastian started to walk forward, towards his master and Azzurro, who said 'st-stop' very nervously.

Sebastian just went on talking as if he didn't hear anything. 'You're like a caterpillar; it's quite pathetic… and wonderful.'

_Okay, great. I'm stuck in a room full of psychopaths. It must be Christmas._

'It suits a small and weak creature like you,' Sebastian went on, just proving my point of him being a psychopath more and more.

'I-if you come any closer, I'll kill him!' Azzurro said. But because he was so scared, it didn't sound threatening at all.

'Hurry up,' Ciel said, sounding bored all of the sudden. 'His breath stinks.'

I pressed my lips together in order to not scream at Ciel. _Do you want to die, you bloody idiot?!_

Sebastian seemed to think the same thing, he just thought and said it way more composed. 'But if I come any closer, you'll be killed.'

'Do you intend to violate our contract?' Ciel said and his boredom started to change into irritation and frustration.

Sebastian smiled an amused smile. 'Why, of course not. I am your faithful servant.'

Azzurro started to get impatient… and even more scared. 'What the hell is this nonsense?!' he asked.

'Young master,' Sebastian said, completely ignoring Azzurro. 'I have taught you how you could coax me into things, right?' He sounded like a total lunatic now.

But Ciel seemed to get the hint that no one else's could've get. And without farther conversation, Ciel opened his right eye. From my point of view, I didn't see anything wrong with his eye. 'This is an order,' he said. 'Save me!'

Well, until it started to glow, of course.

That was the moment that Azzurro lost it. 'SHUT UP!' he screamed and when he pulled the trigger, I closed my eyes. Dead Sebastian had been bad enough. I did not want to see dead Ciel too. Whether he would really die or not.

'Why-why isn't he dead?' Azzurro said, making me curious enough to open my eyes again.

Ciel was staring at Azzurro, the gun was still pointed to his head, and Sebastian was standing behind the two, holding something that looked like a bullet between his fingers. 'Looking for something?' he asked, making Azzurro look at him instead of at Ciel. 'I'll give this back to you,' Sebastian said, letting the bullet slip into Azzurro's chest pocket.

And then Azzurro started to twitch and I had to look away again. That did not look good. And I wasn't even sure how it was done. I kept my eyes closed this time, not wanting to see anything.

_I just want to go home, _I thought in a whining tone.

'This game wasn't much fun,' I heard Ciel say, but I still kept my eyes closed.

'Young master,' Sebastian said. 'I believe we have something that needs to be taken care of.' I was almost positive he was talking about me.

'Yes,' Ciel said.

'Do you want me to kill her?' he asked, making me shiver and scared. I didn't want to die. I really didn't want to die…

'No,' Ciel said almost immediately. 'But you can carry her.'

Not long after that someone picked me up, but even then I refused to look.

That didn't mean I couldn't hear Azzurro, who was apparently still alive, say: 'Wait! Come serve me. Be my bodyguard and I'll pay you five times the amount that he pays you. And you can have all the women and whine that you want!'

I froze. If Sebastian accepted, me and Ciel would be screwed.

'Unfortunately, Mr. Vanel,' Sebastian said slowly, 'I have no interest in rubbish created by humans. You see, I'm merely one hell of a butler.'

That was the last thing I heard before I passed out once again.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, before this chapter starts, I want to get something out of the way: No, my story won't follow the anime exactly. There are some cases in which it does, like for example chapter two, but that's not how it's going to be for the entire story. For example, since this is in modern day setting, Jack the Ripper has been dead for ages, so doing that story arc would be kind of weird. The order of which things happen is also switch around a little bit. Also, there are some characters that won't be in my story, or will be less in the story then they were in the anime/manga. Grell, I'm sorry and I love you, but you won't benefit my story, and I don't think I could ever do you justice, so you won't be with Sebas-chan as much as you would want :(****. Angelina, I hate you, so I don't feel sorry for skipping your story arc, but don't worry, your… err… other half? will be in my story. Tanaka, I think three members of the house staff are trouble enough, even though you never really caused any. **

**Alois and Claude also won't be in the mix. Sorry if you loved them, but there's just no room in my story for those two. Actually, none of the new characters introduced in season 2 or 3 will be in my story, simply because they don't fit.**

**And I still don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**I think that was everything I wanted to say. Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 3**

I woke up in the biggest bed I had ever seen.

'Oh! What a cute girl!'

'Ssht! Master told us not to wake her up!'

'But I just want to look!'

'Shut up, Baldroy.'

'I didn't say anything! It was Finnian!'

'You know, I'm already awake,' I said sleepy. Looking at the three servants standing in the room. 'But thanks for trying-'and failing-'to be considered.'

That was the moment that I realised where I was. And why I was there.

_Oh, shit._

I got out of bed and looked at the three guests in my room. The maid from yesterday and two man. One looked young, he almost looked like he was around my age, and had blond hair. The other one also had blonde hair, but he looked older and less cute.

'Good morning, miss!' they said in unison, bowing for me.

I tried to keep my emotions under control, but I started to worry. If Ciel and his butler were that strange, maybe the rest of the house staff was too…

I really, _really,_ needed to escape. 'Um,' I said carefully, 'good morning, I guess. Could you maybe… leave the room, so that I can… refresh a bit?' I had the feeling that I wasn't making much sense, but right now, I didn't care.

'Y-yes!' they answered immediately, leaving the room as clumsily as possible. I wasn't sure why the hell Ciel hired them, but maybe he needed to get some knew staff. These people seemed terrible.

The moment I was sure they left, I ran towards the window, opened it and looked down. Great, I was on the ground floor, which means I could easily jump. The only thing I missed were my shoes, but since I didn't see them in the room and wanted to escape more badly then I wanted my shoes, I jumped out of the window.

When my feet hit the ground I sighed relieved. It was over.

'Going somewhere?'

Or not.

I turned around to see Sebastian standing there, his head slightly tilt to the left and a puppy look on his face.

'I just… need to get home,' I said, starting to get scared as he came closer and closer. 'You know, my dad must be very worried…' Worried, my ass, but right now that didn't matter.

Sebastian lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. 'So you decided that it was a good idea to jump out of the window without your shoes?'

Okay, I must admit that my excuse was lame and didn't cover for jumping out of the window without shoes, but couldn't think of anything else, so I just said. 'Yes. Got a problem with that?'

Sebastian smiled a fake smile. 'Well, no. But don't worry, I already called your father. He said that it was fine if you slept over at a friend's house, but that you nor I should call him late in the evening.' He sounded way to amused when he said that.

But I believed him, cause frankly, that sounded like something my dead would say. I sighed, almost forgetting that I was talking to a murderer. 'Well, then, that's okay. I guess.' I was almost proud at myself for staying calm.

'Would you mind to go back inside, then?' the butler asked. 'Young master would like a conversation with you.'

_Fantastic. That sounded wonderful. But no. _'Um, I actually really want to go home and…'

Sebastian looked at me with a cold expression, as if he was saying 'don't overestimate my patience'…

'But okay!' I said quickly. 'I'll go and talk with "_young master_".'

I don't know how they did it, but the office that was ruined when me and Ciel got kidnapped was completely fine. The window that got shattered was replaced and the papers and books that had fallen over were restored and cleaned up. I couldn't believe my eyes. Was this really the same room?

This time, Ciel was sitting behind his desk, clearly working on something. I guessed it wasn't homework he was working on. I mean, he _was _the director of the most popular you company in the world. Which actually made sense. I kid knows what kids like.

'Clarissa,' he said, being the first in this house that called me by my name instead of 'miss'. 'Sit.' With his pencil he pointed at the chair that was put in front of his desk.

I walked slowly, extremely careful, towards the chair. When I sat down, Sebastian was already next to Ciel, handing him papers that he then signed.

Something about this situation seemed off. Apart from the fact that those two were probably serial killers and psychopaths, they also seemed completely normal. Just a butler and his master doing their jobs. So why the hell was I here?

'I presume you must have questions,' Ciel then said, not looking up from his work.

I wasn't sure if the words were directed to me. 'Are you talking to me?'

Sebastian chuckled.

'Duh,' was Ciel's annoyed answer.

I was quiet for a moment, not sure if I was allowed to ask the questions I had. 'Um, Sebastian killed a lot of men yesterday.'

'That's not a question,' was Ciel's only reaction.

_Gosh, he didn't even try to deny it. Hell, he didn't even seemed to care that his butler was a skilled murderer. _

'Well, it is to me. Why the hell would a _butler _kill all those people?'

'Because they were trying to kill me. And you. And him,' was Ciel's answer. The way he said it, it sounded logical. But it wasn't.

'He could've called the police,' I suggested.

Ciel made a disdainful sound. 'The police wouldn't have been able to save us. And even if they were, it would cause unnecessary paperwork.'

We were talking about murder and kidnappings and his excuse was '_unnecessary paperwork_'? 'You're crazy,' I said.

I was surprised how calm his reaction was. 'Maybe,' was his answer. 'But a king can't win if the pawns of the other party aren't knocked out of the field.'

That remark made me angry. 'Is everything a game to you?!' I shouted.

'Yes,' Ciel said, finally looking up. 'Does that bother you?'

His straight forward answer confused me. 'Um… I guess?' I waited for a while before restating my answer. 'Yes. Yes, it does.'

Ciel went back to looking at his paperwork. 'Well, that's a shame, considering that it is in fact none of your business.'

'I could always go to the police. Then they have a witness,' I said, trying to be strong. The butler chuckled again, clearly thinking that going to the police would be the most stupid thing I could do.

'But you won't,' Ciel said. 'Because you've seen my butler. You've seen him in action. And I won't hesitate to give him the orders to kill you if I think you could become a threat.'

I froze and I knew I was getting pale. Oh, god. This was the thing I'd been scared of. This kid didn't feel anything. Even though his butler killed for him, the fact that he was the one who gave him the orders made him just as much a murderer as his butler.

'But try to remember that I'm not the bad guy,' Ciel said. 'I simply walk in the shadows to reach my goals. The police walks in the light and because of that, they're blind to whatever happens in the darkness. I'm not. I can see everything. And that's way the police should stay out of my business.'

I didn't understand what he meant, but he went on talking before I could ask.

'There are only two types of people in this world. People who steal and people who get stolen from. I refuse to be one of those that gets stolen from, so that means I'll have to steal. Understand?'

No, I didn't. And from the amused look the butler gave me, I think that that was written all over my face. 'So, now what?' I asked. 'Am I… a hostage here?'

'No,' Ciel answered almost immediately. 'That would be too much of a bother. No, you can just go home and think about all the strange supernatural things you've seen. Just don't tell anyone.' He looked at me with burning eyes… I mean, eye. With a burning eye. The eye patch was already back on his place.

'So that's it, then?' I asked, waiting for a punishment, or some sort of way to shut me up. Or an explanation. That would be lovely. But no. I didn't get anything.

'Yes, that was it. Sebastian, show her the door,' Ciel said, concentrating on his work again and ignoring me completely.

I stood up. 'No, thank you. I can show myself the door.' I'd rather not be alone with that butler. Especially not when he's smiling at me like that.

I left the room and went to look for a way out. And hey, if I didn't find the door, I could always jump out of a window. As I walked through a big hall, clearly the place where the exit was located, my eyes fell on a spot on the wall. A rather big spot, where something obviously had hung up until recently.

I shook my head. Not only the people who lived in this mansion where strange, I also got a strange feeling just from being here. As if someone was watching me…

That was the moment that I realised that someone _was _indeed watching me.

When I turned around I saw the maid, the small blond guy and the bigger blond guy standing behind one of the doors.

'You guys are bad at hiding. I can see you,' I told them, regretting it the moment I'd said it. I just should've left. But that wasn't an option now.

The maid was the first to come out of there hiding place. 'We weren't spying on you, yes!' she said, as if the 'yes' behind her sentence would make her words more true.

The two guys also stepped out of the hiding place. The older one was scratching the back of his head and the younger one looked nervous.

'M-my name is Mei-Rin!' the maid said, as if knowing her name would make this situation less awkward.

'Baldroy!' the older guy said, immediately following the maid's example.

'F-finnian!' the younger guy said.

I smiled amused. These three clearly weren't as heartless as Ciel and Sebastian. 'Nice to meet you. I'm Clarissa.' Then I came up with an idea. 'You guys… what do you know about Sebastian?' If Ciel wasn't going to give me an explanation, maybe I could get it from these guys.

'He's a very skilled butler, yes!' Mei-Rin said, blushing. Ah, clearly a fellow fan of his looks.

'Very skilled, indeed,' Baldroy agreed. 'But scary!' he added.

That caught my interest. 'Scary? How come?' I ask innocently.

'Well, if we fail to do or jobs,' Baldroy explained shivering. 'He always gets really, _really_, mad.'

Okay, not the kind of answer I was hoping for. Now he just sounded like their superior. But that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

'There is nothing he can't do!' Finnian said.

The only thing I got from their answers was their admiration for him. I wasn't sure if I should be surprised or not. But then again, I wasn't sure if they knew that Sebastian was a murderer either. 'When did he start working here?' I asked.

Mei-Rin, Finnian and Baldroy shared a look. 'We do not know,' Mei-Rin answered. 'He already worked here when we were hired, yes!'

Baldroy and Finnian nodded. 'But I know he was hired after… the incident,' Baldroy answered and I knew exactly about with incident he was talking about. The one where his parents died.

And no matter how scared I was of Ciel Phantomhive right now, I couldn't help but still feel sorry for the kid that lost his parents. I would probably get messed up too if I had to live alone in a gigantic mansion with that butler.

But… Ciel _did _save me, right? Sebastian suggested that he could kill me, but Ciel had refused. So maybe somewhere in that deep, dark heart of his, there was still a light of kindness burning. With this thought in mind I left the mansion and walked to the train station, ready to take a train back home.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! School is starting again tomorrow, weekend's over, so I think I won't be posting for a while. Maybe you'll see a new chapter Friday, or otherwise it'll be Saterday. Enjoy the chapter!**

**promocat****: yeah, she has a really sad life, hasn't she? But don't worry; things will get better for her! (only not in this chapter... oops...)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 4**

So apparently I skipped the last day of school before vacation started. Oops.

I was relieved, though, because I had no idea how I would face Ciel the next time I see him, so I had a week extra to prepare myself.

The only downside was that I had nothing to do in the vacation. I lived in a place in the _middle of nowhere_ and I was one of the only teenagers here. And one of the only women. There were hardly any children here, but it my village wasn't exactly a place for children to live in.

And guess who was the mayor?

'Dad, can you help me with the light in the bathroom? It's broken.'

My dad made some sort of annoyed sound and said: 'Go fix it yourself. I'm busy.'

I sighed and left his office. My father had been that way since forever. I thought it was because my mother died when I was born, but my grandmother kept telling me that he was always mean to her as well.

At three 'o clock I went to his office again, this time to bring him his tea and the mail we got. When I put it on his desk I saw him looking at me as if he wanted to slap me and I shivered at the thought of him actually doing so. Lucky enough for me, he didn't.

I stayed when he read the letters we got, mostly because he usually wanted me to through them away as soon as he'd read them.

But this time, one of the letters made him furious. 'Fucking… That bitch!' My father stood up from his desk and as a reflex, I stumbled backwards, too afraid that he would take his rage out on me.

He didn't. Yet. 'Sending her people to check if our village is okay? OKAY? Our village has never been better!' he shouted angry, throwing his cup of tea on the ground. 'That bitch thinks she can do anything, she should be the one to be killed by the demon dog! Not my people!' He screamed even louder now and I thank God for the fact that our house was far away from the other houses. But I also cursed him for it. Because no one could hear my screams as my father grabbed me and beat me until he'd calmed down. The worst thing was that he never seemed to regret it.

'Go clean that up,' he said cold, pointing at the tea on the ground.

As hasty as I could I walked towards the tea cup and picked the pieces up one by one. I was trying to fight my tears, because if there was one thing I didn't want to do, it was to cry in front of that man.

I put the pieces in the pocket of my pullover and left the room to go and grab something to clean the tea up. As I walked to the kitchen, I finally started to cry.

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><p>XxX<p>

The next day my father put on a suit that looked way too nice for a day in the office, but I didn't question it. I wouldn't even dare. I brought him his morning tea and went straight back to my room without saying a word. I wish that would bother him, but I knew full well it didn't.

I was laying on my bed reading a book when the doorbell rang. Knowing that my father wasn't going to answer it, I put the book down and ran downstairs. I had no idea who it could be, but since my father dressed up, I guess it was someone my father had a meeting with.

I did not expect to see Ciel, his butler and his house staff.

'Ciel?' I said. 'What the hell are you doing here?'

Ciel looked just as surprised as I was, but he asked a different question. 'What happened to your face?' He frowned his eyebrows and I saw his butler doing the same.

Then the three idiots noticed me. 'Clarissa!' Mei-Rin said happily. Then she saw my face better and her smile faded. 'What happened?'

I touch my cheek, trying to cover the bruises that I knew were all over my face. But I knew that was no use. 'I fell down the stairs,' I answered, but I knew it sounded like a lie.

Ciel looked at me for a few more seconds before changing back to cold, emotionless Ciel. 'Anyway. Were here for Mayor Barrymore. Is he present?'

I nodded, somewhat happy that I wasn't the main focus anymore. 'I'll shall bring you to his office.'

As I lead them to my father's office I could hear Ciel and Sebastian speak to each other, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. The house staff however, who was walking behind Ciel and Sebastian, talked so loud that I bet even my father could hear them.

'This is a beautiful house, yes!' Mei-Rin said.

'I-I still think this town's creepy,' Finnian said.

I smirked. _They had no idea._

I dropped the house staff in the kitchen and told them they told look for something to eat and then continued the road to my father's office with only Sebastian and Ciel. We reached my father's office and I knocked twice before opening the door. I stood still beside the door so that they could passed me, because I really didn't want to be up front when they saw my dad.

Unfortunately my father had already seen me. He looked at the guests and then walked towards me to slap me in the face. 'Who the hell is this Chihuahua?!' he screamed, slapping me again. I had to do my best to hold myself still. 'Did I ask you to bring this kind of rubbish into my house?!'

Sebastian and Ciel didn't even look shocked. I could say I was surprised, but I wasn't. I had to admit that this time, I like the fact that they didn't seem to care. It made this less embarrassing. 'Chihuahua?' Sebastian repeated, apparently the only thing that he found odd.

'Can't you even do simple things, Clarissa?!' my father screamed, slapping me again and again as if my mistake would disappear if he just hit me often enough.

Then I saw Ciel's face twitch and the looked at Sebastian with a serious face. 'Sebastian,' was the only thing he said.

I closed my eyes as my father's hand came down to my face once again… but this time, I didn't feel it. When I opened my eyes again I was Sebastian standing beside my father, holding his arm so that he couldn't hit me again.

My father wasn't impressed. 'What are you doing, you filthy Doberman! Trying to bite my head off, are you? Let me go!'

'I ordered him to stop you,' Ciel said, making everyone in the room face him. His face showed a slight hint of anger, but it mostly was disgust. 'I presume you've got the letter,' he went on, sitting down on the chair in front of my father's desk. 'My name Ciel Phantomhive.'

My father's eyebrows rose. He pulled his hand free from Sebastian's grip, but didn't hit me again. He turned towards Ciel now, walking closer towards him, finally leaving me alone. 'You mean that you're the one Her Majesty sent? A toy poodle like you?'

Ciel closed his eye and smiled a little smile. He suddenly looked amused. 'Do you not like small breeds, mayor Barrymore?' I knew he wasn't just talking about himself, but also about me. He opened his eye at the end of the sentence, just so he could give me a glance. I could see the picture he had of me change as I looked into his deep blue eye.

But I wasn't sure if it was for better or for worse.

My father mumbled something that no one could hear and then said: 'Clarissa, go get some tea for our guest.' He sat down behind his desk, looking at Ciel as if he was the most disgusting thing he'd ever seen.

I tried not to feel nostalgic. I knew that look all too well.

When I arrived at the kitchen, Mei-Rin, Finnian and Baldroy had made a mess of the place, so I asked them to please go and take their stuff into the house as I cleaned up. After that I made tea, only to return to the office, where a staring contest was going on.

When I tried to put tea in the cups, I could see my hands shaking. All the people I was scared of the most in one room really freaked me out. I really had no idea how I was going to pour tea in three cups neatly.

Then Sebastian was suddenly standing beside me. 'I'll take care of this,' he whispered in my ear, taking the tea cup from my hands.

I took a step backwards, looking at Sebastian as if he'd just turned into a frog. Was he being… kind to me? Or did he just not want to waste the tea? I liked to believe the first, but I knew I couldn't be entirely sure.

I did get something out of this situation, though. I now knew that Ciel indeed worked for the Queen, as in the Queen. My father wouldn't listen to anyone, especially not a kid, if it wasn't about a case of national importance.

My father was reading papers that I thought Ciel had brought with him, but after a while my father put them down, looking annoyed. 'It's not worth discussing,' he said, folding his arms. 'No matter what the terms, I can't sell this place.'

_Wait… What? _'Sell this place?' I repeated, immediately regretting it. I covered my mouth with both my hands, but the words had already been spoken.

My father looked at me with that disgusted look I knew so well, but something seemed to redeem him from getting angry. As I looked at Sebastian, who was looking at my father as if he would like to eat him, I understand what put him off.

'Let me hear your reason,' Ciel said to my father, ignoring me and my father's reaction to my words.

Sebastian handed both my father and Ciel a cup of tea and I was surprised when he handed one to me as well. I wasn't used to getting anything.

I knew what my father was going to say before he even opened his mouth. 'The curse,' he said sinister.

I rolled my eyes. Typically my father to begin about the curse again.

'Curse?' Ciel repeated, not as shocked as a normal fourteen year old would be. But then again, it was Ciel, I suppose I was used to it by now.

My father but on his 'look at me, I'm telling a scary story'-face as he said: 'This village has lived alongside its dogs for years. Those who interfere shall face the curse and its consequences. Even Her Majesty can't change the horrible things that happen here.' My father had stood up during his speech and even looked a bit proud. He was sure he'd scared the kid of by now.

But he didn't know Ciel Phantomhive. 'Oh. How interesting,' was Ciel's reaction.

My father frowned, angry again. 'What?!'

Ciel folded his hands together above the table. 'Let's have a long, nice look at this village and its so called 'curse',' Ciel said, amused and unimpressed.

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><p>XxX<p>

Ciel and his staff slept in the spare rooms on the ground floor and because of the sudden guest, I thought I would have a problem with cooking dinner tonight. Lucky enough for me, Sebastian had brought food so that I didn't have to go into town to buy extra food. He even asked me if he could help prepare the food. But the way he said it made it clear that he was only giving me the impression that I had a choice, when I actually didn't have one.

We were silent as we cooked, both barely said a word. I didn't say anything because A, I still didn't trust the guy (he was _still _a murderer) and B, because I didn't really have anything to say.

When the silence was broken, it wasn't me, but Sebastian. 'Mayor Barrymore is your father, correct?' he asked as he took the chicken out of the oven. I wasn't surprised when he didn't use the oven gloves. I started to think he was indestructible.

'Yes,' I answered, clearly not happy with the answer. 'Yes, he is.'

Sebastian was silent for a moment, but then opened his mouth once again. 'Does he always… abuse you?'

I was surprised when my mouth opened to answer his question. I had no obligation to do so, but I still did. 'Not always. Only when he's angry, or sad, or drunk.' I frowned. There were barely any moments when he wasn't at least one of those.

'That doesn't sound like a healthy father-daughter relationship,' was his reaction.

'No shit, Sherlock,' I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

'Don't you ever think about… running away?' he asked as the started to cut the chicken.

I shrugged, still not sure why I was talking with this guy so naturally and normally. 'Of course I do think about what. But I won't.'

That surprised him. He looked at me with a confused look and I must saying; that look was priceless. 'Why not? I really don't think that a young woman such as yourself will have a bright future here? Don't you hate that man? Don't you wish he was dead?'

I looked at him in horror. What? Was he offering to kill him for me? 'No!' I almost screamed the word. 'Of course not!'

Now Sebastian looked like I just turned into a unicorn and was singing _God Save The Queen_ while dancing around wearing a dress made of children's' hands. 'Why not?'

'Because he's my father! No matter what he does to me, that won't change!' I only noticed that I was screaming when I could hear the dogs from the village bark. I knew I shouldn't leave the window in the kitchen open. That the villagers couldn't hear didn't mean the dogs couldn't.

Sebastian looked at me with a look of fascination in his eyes, as if he couldn't believe I was real.

'What?' I asked when he didn't stop looking at me with that strange look in his eyes. 'Why are you staring at me?'

'So pure,' he said softly, even his eyes seemed to soften.

I could feel my heart flutter in my chest as he looked at me like that. _God, he was so hot…_

_Clarissa, snap out of it! Serial killer, remember? _I resisted the urge to slap myself in the face and shook my head, trying to focus on something else.

That also brought Sebastian out of his thoughts. I thought I could hear him mumble 'so pure. So… disgusting,' but I wasn't sure. I really hope that wasn't what he said, because my picture of him was just changing for the better.

I remembered what Ciel said a few days ago. '_Those who steal and those who gets stolen from_'. Maybe Sebastian and Ciel were just a bit too extreme in staying on the good side of faith, but did that make them bad? _Maybe Ciel has a good reason for hiring such a talented killer as Sebastian. Maybe it has something to do with his parents…_

His parents.

Oh. I suddenly understand why Ciel didn't care when Sebastian murdered every single one of the kidnappers. '_Don't you hate that man? Don't you wish he was dead?_' Sebastian had asked me. And maybe I didn't hate my father, but that didn't mean that Ciel didn't hate the people who murdered his parents. A child with a heart full of hatred… No wonder Ciel was the way he was. Now there was only one question I had to ask myself.

Could I forgive him for who he was?

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><p>XxX<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, just as I said, my story won't follow the manga, so don't hate me! Somewhere in this chapter the story will take a different route then the anime did. I'm glad I could update today, I hate having no time to write. Thank you all for reading/reviewing!**

**Oh, and BTW: I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 5**

'Sebastian, you've been acting strange ever since dinner,' Ciel said, not looking up from his book.

A smile crossed the butler's face. 'So it would seem,' was his vague answer.

'It has something to do with Barrymore's daughter, hasn't it?' Ciel then said, knowing it was true. He did not need to ask.

'Perhaps,' Sebastian answered.

'Sebastian,' Ciel said sharp, almost as if he ordered Sebastian to do something. He would order him to answer if he had to and Sebastian knew that.

'I was just thinking about how absolutely delicious Clarissa would be if I broke her,' Sebastian said. 'His pureness, her honesty. Once broken, the black void filling her heart and mind will consume her soul. A soul that's so desirable for someone – no, some_thing _like me.'

'Are you saying that you consider breaking our contract so that you could lure her into making one with you?' Ciel asked, not really interested.

'Perhaps,' Sebastian answered amused.

Ciel accidentally dropped the book he was reading as he heard that. He looked at Sebastian with pure fear in his eyes. Sebastian couldn't leave him. Not before he got his revenge! He was this close to getting angry, but footsteps in the corridor made him pick up the book again. While he opened it on a random page and continued reading, he tried to calm down and keep the thoughts about being left alone again out of his head.

* * *

><p><em>XxX<em>

_Clarissa's POV_

'Come in,' I heard Ciel say through the door before I even had the chance to knock.

I tried to look calm and composed as I walked in, but I know that there was a look of fear still in my eyes. And there was a lot both Ciel and Sebastian had to do to make that disappear. But I didn't even know if they wanted it to disappear or not.

'I apologize for the lateness of the hour.' _Not, _but I wasn't going to say that to an fourteen year old Earl who was presumably a psycho.

Sebastian looked at me with a strange look, as if he was trying to read my mind. 'My master was just about to head to bed, so if you don't mind-'

'Please leave,' I said, completely ignoring Sebastian. I heard the despair in my voice, but I didn't care. 'You mustn't be here.'

Ciel was sitting in the big chair in the guest room and reading I book. I wasn't sure he'd heard me until he said 'and why not?' without looking up. Gee, that guy really had a problem with looking people in the eye, hadn't he?

I opened my mouth to answer, but then I remembered what my father had said that night I found out. I couldn't tell Ciel. My father would kill me. And I'd rather die at the hand of Sebastian then the hand of my father. Because, in the end, he was still my father. And also, I didn't think that Ciel would order Sebastian to kill me over something like this… 'I can't…' I started, but then the familiar sound of a dogs howling told me that it was already too late.

I shivered as the howling went on, didn't want to hear, didn't want the know. I heard a soft scream leaving my throat and I put my hands over my ears, didn't want to hear the dog nor my own screams.

'Clarissa!' I heard Ciel and for the first time, he actually sounded worried. And politely worried or worried because the situation asked him to, but worried as if he was worried about _me._

That gave me courage. 'It's not what you think,' I said, shivering and trembling with fear. 'The demon hound-' I stopped, because the barking had stopped. And I knew what that meant.

Ciel, on the other hand, didn't. 'Demon hound?'

I closed my eyes for a while. Now I had to go play my part. I had no time to explain everything. 'Just…' I wasn't sure what to say. 'Just come with me.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

As we walked through the town, you could hear the people the people talk. They were leaving there houses this late in the evening, only to go search for the bad dog.

As we walked through the town, I explained: 'The villagers believe that this town is cursed. Those who couldn't live with the dogs, or were treating them in a way that was against the ways of the village, will be punished by the demon dog. The ones to get punished by the demon hound are called 'the bad dogs of the village'. These people are usually brutally murdered.' I shone my flashlight upon the path we walked, but it wasn't really needed. The villagers who were up and about and the street lights lighted the whole town.

'You talk about this 'demon hound' as if you don't think he's the one who murders the villagers,' Ciel said, as observant as always.

I considered it for a while, but then decided that I could just tell him the truth: 'That's because I know he isn't.'

'What?' Ciel said, frowning. But I knew that it wouldn't take long before either his butler or him found out. And I wasn't sure if I should be happy about that or not.

I heard people scream and the most screamed question was: 'Who's been punished?!' I closed my eyes for a sec. We were about to find out.

We left the light of the village and walked up to the hill that made or village invisible for travellers. Unless you were close enough, you wouldn't be able to find it. And on this hill was a wall. An left-over wall from the times that there was a wall protecting the once big village. Now it was just a pile of breaks that sort of looked like a wall.

It was also the place where the 'demon hound' brought the 'bad dogs'.

In the mud there lay a young man. I didn't know him and I didn't care that he was dead, but I did care that he was _murdered._ His clothes were ripped and he had bite marks – _fake _bite marks – all over his body. For any stupid person it would be obvious enough. This man was slayed by a beast.

People gathered around me as I walked towards the corpse. I had been the 'priestess' of this village for a while now. The one that had to confirm that this was indeed the demon hound's work. In reality, it was just a cover up. A way to get more time so that my father could-

'So James was the bad dog,' I heard my father say. He was standing behind me and the look of sadness and grieve on his face looked almost real. But I know it wasn't.

'Yes,' I heard a woman from the village say. 'I heard that he had a sixth dog. I tried to tell him that he wasn't allowed to have more than five, but he wouldn't listen.'

My father closed his eyes, pretended to grieve. I even thought that he was going to cry, but my father wasn't _that _good of an actor. 'I see. Then this was inevitable.'

'That's awful,' I heard Baldroy say. I didn't even know the house staff had followed us, but I could hear Finnian and Mei-Rin mumble something, clearly agreeing to Baldroy's remark.

Ciel pushed my father aside so that he could walk closer to the corpse. He even sat down to observe the wounds up close. 'I see,' he said and I knew from those two words that he understand it. He knew what was going on.

'Don't touch!' my father then screamed, immediately alarmed by the way Ciel was looking at the corpse. Immediately scared that he would get caught. 'This village has laws and those who don't follow the rules will be punished by the demon hound that protects this town!'

I hated this moment of such a night as this one, in which all the villagers just nodded. They were completely brainwashed. But who could blame them? Sometimes I thought I would lose my mind, living in such a strange and messed up place somewhere in the _middle of nowhere_.

Me, Ciel, Sebastian and the rest of the Phantomhive house staff could only watch while James was carried away by two men, who were immediately followed by the villagers, who walked after by father. We just stood still in the mud and the night and I closed my eyes, trying to get this mental picture out of my head and move on. There was nothing I could do about it.

I could feel Ciel looking at me even with my eyes closed. 'I see,' he said again, but I was sure that this time he wasn't talking about the demon hound, but about me.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The next morning, we had breakfast in the large dining room that we almost never used. But the house staff wasn't in such high spirits the next morning.

'What a horrible trip,' Baldroy said as I but the bread on the table. Sebastian was in the kitchen to make breakfast for Ciel, who had 'very specific preferences', as Sebastian had said it. I doubted Ciel was even awake yet.

'Yes, yes,' Mei-Rin agreed, looking down at the table.

'What's the matter?' I asked, trying to find a way to cheer them up. I did understand their mood, but I also knew that they were in high spirits yesterday. I wanted that energy again. It somehow made me… happy.

'Well, we came here thinking this was some sort of vacation,' Baldroy explained.

'But there's nothing fun here,' Finnian said, finishing Baldroy's line.

'And that horrible demon hound!' Mei-Rin added.

I smiled a sad smile, had no idea what I could do to cheer them up. That didn't mean I didn't try. 'We have a swimming pool in the garden, if that's something you guys are interested in,' I told them.

And the smiles that appeared on their faces told me that that was enough to cheer them up.

After cleaning up the kitchen and the dining room, my father went back to his office and the house staff went to enjoy the pool. Ciel was up and about by then and he took a place at the side of the pool in one of the big wooden chairs. He had his laptop on his lap and was looking at something that seemed to interest him deeply. Sebastian was standing beside him and both obviously weren't planning on getting into the water.

I went to sit next to Ciel with my own laptop so that I could start doing homework, but the loud screaming from the three idiots in the pool made it almost impossible to concentrate.

'Do you need the WiFi-passcode?' I asked Ciel when I gave up on making homework.

Ciel clicked on something that I couldn't see and said: 'Your father seems way too out-dated to install a WiFi network, which means the network and its password was yours. It took me about ten minutes to guess what the password was.'

I frowned. My password was the name of my mother. I really didn't know how Ciel could know the name of my mother. Unless his butler had done some stalking again and stole my birth certificate… Wait, now that I thought about it, that actually wasn't a bad explanation. With everything that was going on, it certainly wouldn't surprise me.

'Don't you want to swim, Ciel?' I asked him and judging from the look Sebastian gave me it was something that he'd wanted to ask as well. Well, too bad for him, because I asked it first.

'Dull,' was the only thing he said. Then he closed his laptop and looked up at Sebastian. 'About the true form of the demon hound,' he said, 'I wanted to ask you something.' He made a move with his hand that meant that he wanted Sebastian to lean over, so he could whisper in his ear.

Oh, great. So _he _didn't trust _me?_ I had done nothing to him that could made him not trust me. _He _on the other hand, had done more than enough…

'Clarissa!' I heard the three members of the house staff scream.

I looked over at them, which made me lose focus of Ciel and Sebastian. Not that I could hear what Ciel was saying, but I was still trying to get something out of it. I waved at the three before looking back and Ciel and his butler.

But their conversation had already ended. 'Yes, my Lord, I shall do it right away,' Sebastian said, his hand on his chest. He then straighten himself and walked away.

But Ciel stopped him before he could get to far. 'You're awfully motivated today. I thought you hated dogs?'

'Yes, I do. That's why I want to leave this place as soon as possible.' When Sebastian said that he didn't look at Ciel, but at me. As if he was saying that_ I _was the reason he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

This time I didn't hold back. 'Oh, don't go looking at me as if this is my fault, because that is total bullshit,' I let him know.

Sebastian completely ignored my remark and looked at Ciel: 'This should end before everything goes to hell.'

Ciel laugh a short, cynical laugh. 'You think you're funny, don't you?' he asked his butler.

Sebastian only smiled in response.

'Leave,' Ciel said, suddenly angry.

'Yes, my Lord.' Sebastian bowed one last time and then left the garden silently and gracefully.

I sighed. 'Is that a thing your guys do? Like a running gag or something?' I asked Ciel, sounding tired for some reason.

'Huh?' Ciel said confused, frowning as if I'd said something in a different language.

I pulled up an eyebrow. '_One hell of a butler, going to hell, what the hell?_ The hell puns are kind of obvious.'

Ciel looked at me as if he thought I was stupid and genius at the same time. 'I guess. It's more Sebastian's thing, though.'

'Ah,' was my only reaction. I guess it made sense that a murderer like him would have some connection to hell…

The nice little moment was ruined by the sound of the church clock. I sighed, knowing this meant that the villagers were going to celebrate as they burned James' body. I never attended. Neither did my father.

'It's time,' Ciel said softly.

I frowned, looking down at him as I stand up. 'You knew about this?' I asked surprised and confused. I was sure neither my father nor I had told him about it.

Ciel shook his head. 'No. But I can hear the villagers gathering. If we are to take out mayor Barrymore, it's best to do it now.'

I froze when he said the words. _Take out mayor Barrymore. _Maybe if he was from the police I wouldn't have worried, but I knew Ciel and his methods by now and was almost sure that 'taking out' meant murdering him.

Well, at least he was honest about it.

'I'm sorry, Clarissa, but your father is someone that I will have no mercy for. Not only does he kill innocent people, he also hurts you, his own daughter.' Ciel stood up, leaving his laptop on the wooden chair and walked towards the door of the house, that was left open so that we could leave and enter the garden easily.

As soon as we walked into the dining room, Ciel got attacked. I saw my father grabbed his hair and pulling the boy close. I could also see that he had a knife in his hands. And he was now putting that at Ciel's throat.

I would have worried accept I knew that Ciel was kind of used to it by now and obviously really didn't care.

But then I saw Sebastian standing there, not even looking at his master. He just looked at me, his head was tilted to the right a little bit, as if he was trying to understand me.

No, not trying to understand me. He was testing me.

'How do you like that, _Earl?_' my father said coldly. 'I can't let you leave now. If I do, you will run to your queen and tell her all about the real identity of the demon hound.'

'Sebastian!' Ciel said and I thought I could see the panic in his eyes. Panic? Did Ciel even _possess _that emotion?

'Yes, my Lord?' Sebastian said, still staring at me.

'Help me!' he said and I could hear in his voice that, this time, he actually was scared. 'Don't look at her, help me! You have a contract with me!'

'Sebastian!' Even I now started to beg him for help. 'What are you doing? HELP HIM!'

But Sebastian didn't move. He only said: 'Helping him would mean killing your father. Is that something you want, Clarissa Barrymore?'

I shivered when he said my name. 'No, of course not,' I answered in all honesty. 'But if one of those two has to die, it's my father.' He was older, after all. And he never helped me, never cared for me. Ciel tried to give me the idea that he didn't too, but I wasn't easily fooled.

Sebastian looked at me as if he wanted me dead more than he wanted my father dead. 'But you won't kill him yourself, will you?' he asked.

My father now started to laugh. 'My own daughter kill me? She can't even scream when I hit her! Hell, she can't even leave me!'

Gosh, even my dad made Hell-puns now. What was that with the men in my life and their psycho-ness and their inability to stay away from the word 'hell'?

Sebastian walked up to me and handed me something. 'I refuse to decide for you. You'll make the choice.'

I frowned and looked at what he handed me. I froze when I saw what it was.

Sebastian had given me a gun.

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Cliff-hanger (sorry)!**

**I wasn't really happy with this chapter, but I think it worked out fine in the end. I'll try to update tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I'll make it. **


	6. Chapter 6

***I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 6**

I was still trying you figure out what was going on. I had a gun in my hands, which was weird. My father was holding a knife against Ciel's throat, which was strange, but less strange then the butler, who was just sitting on the dining table and watching us as if we were his favourite tv-show.

'Father, let him go,' I tried, knowing that my father had not only gone mad. He was also drunk.

'No! I will go to prison!' he screamed and I could see the blood dripping from Ciel's neck as my father tighten his grip on the knife.

'You're letting her decide,' Ciel said and I could hear the disgust and shock in his voice.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered. 'Because the outcome will always be positive for me.' A smile crossed his face.

'You're not supposed to break the contract!' Ciel screamed and I could see his fear and despair starting to show.

'And what exactly are you going to do about that?' Sebastian asked calmly. 'You can't run from the contract. I can.' A smile crossed his face as he pointed at his right eye.

Ciel tried to stay calm, but we all could see that that wasn't working out for him. 'A seal close to the eye makes it impossible to run from the devil,' he said and I kind of sounded like he was quoting the bible.

Sebastian just smiled a creepy smile and then said: 'You know the outcome, don't you?'

'Yes,' Ciel answered, making me feel like me and my dad weren't even here. Sebastian and Ciel talked as if his was a game of chess they were playing and me and my dad were only pawns in their chess game.

'If she kill her father, I'll be saved and she'll be a murderer. That trauma will one day get to her, whether that day is today or not. And if she doesn't, she'll blame herself for my death and you'll have what you wanted. A broken soul to devour.' Ciel sounded disgusted at his own words. 'You will win no matter what she does.'

I wasn't sure why, but something about this situation just pissed me off. 'Hello?! Can you guys stop having a formal conversation and tell me why Sebastian isn't just saving your sorry ass? It's almost like he wants to lose his job. And my father is obviously drunk right now, so taking him out shouldn't be a problem.'

'Then why not just do it?' Sebastian said and the some moment Ciel said: 'It's not like Sebastian gives a damn about his job.'

My father looked as if he hadn't heard a word we were saying. 'I'll kill this kid!' he said, as if he hadn't said that already.

That was the moment Ciel decided to decide things for himself. He stepped on my father's food with a power that even surprised Sebastian and pulled away from my father, running towards the other side of the room. Which was stupid, since there were no doors there.

My father just laughed and it creeped me out more than Sebastian ever had. He just looked at his knife and then back at Ciel and then he started to run towards Ciel.

I kind of hoped that my father would fall down (because he _was _very drunk) or that Sebastian would still save Ciel no matter how serious their game of chess was, but nothing happened. Even Ciel seemed to have accepted the fact that he couldn't run from my father forever.

That damn house staff! If they just came inside, they could help Ciel! I had the feeling I couldn't do anything! I couldn't just kill my father and I was too scared of getting to close to him, especially because he had a knife. Call me selfish, but I was just way too damn scared.

But as my father ran towards Ciel, Sebastian was looking at me with that curious look in his eyes and Ciel was looking at me as if I was his last hope, I found the courage to move.

I reached my father just in time to grab the knife from his hands, dropping the gun in the process. I knew that this wasn't what Sebastian had had in mind when he handed me the gun, but I wouldn't murder anyone unless I had tried everything within my power. And even then I would still hesitate to murder someone. Because no human being should have the right to decide on someone else's life.

My father turned around to look at me, turning his back to Ciel, who was standing frozen in the corner of the room. 'How dare you!' he screamed, closing in on me. I started to walk backwards, but soon enough I hit the wall and couldn't run any further.

My father closed in on me and had his hands in a position that I was almost certain he wanted to strangle me.

'Dad, please!' I begged. I pointed the knife towards him, but even doing such a small thing made the tears in my eyes roll over my cheeks. 'If you come closer… I'll cut you!'

'Now will you do anything?!' I heard Ciel say.

'I don't know,' was the butler's answer. I couldn't see the two as they were talking. 'Why not just order me and find out for yourself?'

Ciel sighed as my father closed in on me, laughing. 'As if my only daughter could possibly hurt her father in any-'

'This is an order! Kill him!'

As soon as Ciel had said it, Sebastian was standing behind my father. I started at him from over my father's shoulder as he grabbed my father's head and twisted it in a way that his neck nor he could ever survive.

As my father fell down, Sebastian and Ciel could see the knife, but it wasn't in my hands.

It was in my father's chest.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

We weren't sure what killed him first. We didn't know if it was me or Sebastian that had killed him. But we did know that my father still would have died, even if Sebastian hadn't followed his orders.

The town was in chaos. Ciel and Sebastian tried to explain everything and with my help, which I gave them while in some sort of zombie-like state, they had found more than enough evidence to prove their point. My father got burned, but even then I didn't care. All I could do was stare in front of me, trying to grasp what was going on. Trying to understand what was going to happen to me now.

Mei-Rin, Baldroy and Finnian brought me to the kitchen, where they tried to give me food and water, but I didn't want to eat or drink anything. I didn't even want to move. Moving made it real. My father was dead.

Where was I supposed to go now? My grandparents had been dead for years now and my father didn't have contact with other relatives. Was I going to an orphanage? Because I was almost completely sure that I would lose my mind there.

Mei-Rin told me that Sebastian had worked out an alibi and that Scotland Yard didn't even suspect either of them. They thought he was killed by a wild dog in the forest and the villagers agreed to that theory, more than willing to help their saviours out. After all, this village was stupid and easily to manipulate.

Ciel and his staff went to prepare everything for their departure. The three idiots carried everything to the car while I was standing in the door frame. And I still had no idea how to feel. I didn't know anything. Was I going to be left alone? I really didn't want to live in this village and certainly not on my own. Did Ciel have any idea how creepy my house was at night? Was he really planning to just leave me here?

Oh, by the way, Ciel had gone back to being calm and composed. And wasn't sure how and why, since I wasn't paying attention, but the doubt he'd had in Sebastian in de dining room seemed to have disappeared.

I just stood there are Baldroy sat down in the driver's seat with Finnian at his other side and watched as Sebastian held the car door open for Mei-Rin and Ciel. I was surprised, however, when he himself didn't get in.

'What are you doing?' I asked as he closed the car and Baldroy drove off.

Sebastian smiled a wicked little smile that I didn't trust at all. 'Well, I'm going to stay here, of course.'

'Of course?' I repeated, walking backwards as he slowly walked towards me.

'Well, if you had listened to our conversation for the last six hours, you would have known that we've decided that Baldroy will drop my master and Finnian and Mei-Rin off at the Phantomhive Estate and then come back to pick us and your stuff up.' His smile faded and it seemed like he was thinking about something unpleasant. 'I'm sorry, but I've seen your room, and we're going to need more space than the space that was left for it in the car. That's why.' He shrugged.

'Wait, why the hell do you guys think I'm coming with you?' I asked, grabbing the door so I could slap it in Sebastian's face at any moment.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. 'Because you just brutally killed your father and I checked your list of possible future guardians. That list was quite short, I assure you.'

Even if he was right, the way he said it made me cringe. 'Please don't,' I said, not even saying what I didn't want him to do.

Sebastian walked forward and placed a foot between the door when I tried to close it. 'Please don't, what?' he asked. 'Don't you want to hear the truth, Clarissa? You killed your father. You killed him.'

'You don't know that?!' I screamed, tears filling my eyes again. 'I-I'm not a murderer!'

That made him – strange enough – laugh. 'Never said you were, right? You keep calling me and Ciel 'murders', but are we really that bad? We are just doing our jobs.'

'Your jobs?' I asked and I could feel that the tears had left my eyes and were now rolling over my cheeks. 'What are you, the Queen's assassins?'

Sebastian chuckled. 'In some ways… Yes.'

I raised my eyebrows, but it felt strange because I was still crying. 'Are you for real? You really are a strange human being, you know that?'

He laughed. 'Who says I am a human being?'

I rolled my eyes and the tears stopped. I could feel my cynical side bursting through the misery as he said that. 'Oh, please. You're not going to reveal that you're a vampire now, are you? Because I will slap you in the face if you do.'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow, surprised by the calm reaction she gave. 'Well, no. I'm not a vampire. Please don't put me in the same category as those graceless creatures.'

Now I was the one to pull up an eyebrow. 'Are you telling me vampires actually exist?' I said sounded almost _too _sarcastic.

'I don't know,' Sebastian answered truthfully. 'I was never interested enough to find out. But this is strange. I just confessed that I might not be a human being and you brush it off like it was nothing.'

'Because I had already figured out as much, _Sherlock,_' I let him know. 'I may think you're good at keeping it a secret, but everyone with a brain can tell that you're no normal dude. First of all, you don't even sound like you're twenty-something. You talk like you're an old man. Stop that, it's annoying,' I let him know. 'Second, you get shot in the face and get up only seconds later and there's no wound to be found. That was hint number one, by the way. Third, your Hell-puns are even making _me _annoyed and I personally love puns. So, dude, you don't have to worry. I already knew you weren't exactly human.'

'So you know what I'm not am,' Sebastian said, opening the door because his foot was getting irritated. It didn't cost him any afford to pull the door open, even though I was struggling to keep it closed. 'But do you know what I _am?_'

As he entered the house, I tried to run away, but he caught me before I could even take three steps. He held me close to him, our legs and chests were touching as he looked me in the eyes with those red – definitely not brown – eyes. 'Do you?' he said.

And without thinking, because his face so close to mine made that impossible, the word left my lips.

'Demon.'

'Do you think you can handle things on your own, master?'

Ciel folded his arms together and looked at his butler with a disdainful look. 'Of course I can. And I've Finnian and Mei-Rin with me, so I'll be fine. And if I'm not, you're going to come anyways.'

Sebastian smiled amused. 'I can still leave whenever I want to.'

Ciel sighed and took of his eye-patch. 'No, you can't,' he said, opening his right eye. 'I order you to always stay by my side! You can never betray me!'

Even though Ciel thought this would have a huge effect on Sebastian, he just chuckled and went on with packing Ciel's stuff. 'Yes, my Lord,' was the only reaction he gave.

Ciel frowned. Had he done something wrong? He then put his eye-patch back on and decided not to worry about it anymore. 'You know that he's sharper and has seen more than those three idiots. She will figure out who – or rather _what _– you are soon enough.'

'I know,' Sebastian admitted. 'But I don't really mind. Have you seen the girl and how she acted? She's like a lost cat. She doesn't know anyone. She can't go anywhere. In the end, she'll start to see us as the only friends – or even family – she has left. And that kind of affection guarantees the safety of our secret.'

Ciel wasn't sure about that. 'We'll see.'

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So yeah, that happened. I hope you liked the chapter!**

**(sorry for the typos, I was very tired when I wrote this and didn't have any energy left to go and look for the typos)**


	7. Chapter 7

***Unfortunately enough, I still don't own Kuroshitsuji. But I do own my OC***

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 7**

The smirk Sebastian gave me confirmed that my guess had indeed been correct. He released me, but grabbed my wrist so that I couldn't run away. I could feel the disappointment when he let go of me, but I tried to keep it under control. This wasn't the time to act like a girl who melts every time a hot guy touches her. _Focus, Clarissa, focus!_

And of course I had to ask the stupidest question that anyone in this situation could have asked. 'You're not Satan, are you? 'Cause that would be… a bit weird?'

'Only a bit?' Sebastian narrowed his eyes. 'And how did you come to the conclusion?' he asked and I could hear sincere curiosity in his voice.

I sighed and felt weird. I really couldn't keep track of my emotions. I should still be upset about my father's dead, but Sebastian made me sort of tired and irritated. 'The hell puns were the give-away,' I let him know. 'But the red eyes and the strange mark in Ciel's eye certainly helped. I'm not stupid, I've seen that mark before.'

Sebastian looked surprised, which made me surprised. 'What?' I asked when he didn't say anything. 'Is it strange to recognize that mark? I'm sure it is in some movie or another.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'It's not about whether your recognize the mark or not. I just can't understand why a mere mortal his handling this so naturally.' He narrowed his eyes again. 'It doesn't seem like human nature to me.'

'How would you know?' I said, not expecting an answer. I tried to make him understand. 'Let's just say that living with a father who couldn't think of anything else then a curse and a demon hound did the trick. But also…' I immediately bit my lip so that I wouldn't continue with talking. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about him.

'What?' Sebastian said and then he seemed to be back to his old routes again; a freaking hot and freaking creepy butler. Great, I missed this version of him. _Not._

I shook my head. 'It's nothing. Let's just say that an old friend of mine always told me stories about demons and the unclean. About Faustian Contracts. And about London Bridge, actually, but he's gone a bit cuckoo.'

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. 'Cuckoo?'

I nodded. 'Yes, last time I saw him, all he could do was sing that song over and over and over again. My grandmother had to put him into a mental institution.'

'Your grandmother?' Sebastian asked, looking more and more surprised each time I spoke.

I nodded again, not sure why this interested him so much. 'Yes. She'd found him at the side of the road once and decided to take him home. He never left.'

'Your grandmother picked up a boy from the side of the road?' Sebastian asked. 'Did she not report it to the police?'

This part of the story was the only think that made me kind of nervous. 'Well, she did go to the police. But according to the police, he didn't exist.' She shook her head. 'They didn't even find any DNA, as if he didn't have any. As if he was just a hallucination.'

I noticed that I had been staring into space when Sebastian took a stray of hair, that had fallen in front of my face, and put it behind my ear. 'What was his name?' he asked.

'Drossel Keinz,' I answered, 'though I never really liked that name.'

Sebastian's eyes narrowed once again, but he didn't say anything. It was the silence that made me scared.

'But I doubt that he's even alive now!' I said immediately. 'He was just a strange kid. But he did know lots of stories.'

Something I said made Sebastian angry, or at least irritated, because he let go of me and walked into the house, probably towards my room. When he said; 'I'll go and pack your things, since you're clearly not going to do that,' I knew I was right.

I really didn't want to be alone in my room with Sebastian, especially now that I knew for certain that he was a demon and knowing that there was a really big bed in my room, so I grabbed my laptop that was still laying on the ground in the garden and took it back inside.

I sat down in my father's office, mostly because I thought that that was the last place Sebastian would look, but also because I had always wanted to sit in that chair. But now it just felt weird.

I opened my laptop and went to _Google._

_Demon, _I typed. Then I clicked on _images, _because I was in no mood to read. And I doubted that _Wikipedia _would get me anywhere. As I looked through the pictures of ugly ass mother fuckers, I got more and more frustrated. What exactly _was _Sebastian? Okay, I knew he was a demon, but what did that actually tell me? I also knew Ciel had a contract with him, but why the hell did a demon want to make a contract with a-

Suddenly the words Ciel had said in the dining room came back to me.

_'__If she kill her father, I'll be saved and she'll be a murderer. That trauma will one day get to her, whether that day is today or not. And if she doesn't, she'll blame herself for my death and you'll have what you wanted. A broken soul to devour. You will win no matter what she does.'_

Oh God.

Then I went back to Google. _Contract with a demon._

The first thing to pop up was a _Wikipedia-_page simply called '_Deal with the Devil_'. That page didn't tell me much, but it did tell me the story of Faust, a man who made a deal with the devil and traded his soul for unlimited knowledge. Was that what Ciel had done? Had he traded his soul for a butler? But… why? He could've just hired one. Yes, it may cost more money, but it wouldn't have cost him his freaking _soul!_

I clicked on the link to the _Wikipedia-_page about Faust and read: _"The Faust legend has been the basis for many literary, artistic, cinematic, and musical works that have reinterpreted it through the ages. Faust and the adjective Faustian imply a situation in which an ambitious person surrenders moral integrity in order to achieve power and success for a delimited term."_

Oh God. Ciel was just a kid. Did that guy not have a soul?

Well, since he was a demon, I guess he didn't, but still.

'What _are _you doing?' I suddenly heard from behind me, making me jump. In my shock I accidentally slapped my laptop and it would have fallen on the ground if Sebastian didn't catch it just in time.

'I _was _googling stuff,' I told him, 'but then I was interrupted by _you._'

'You were googling Faust,' Sebastian added, ignoring my angry look. 'Why were you googling Faust? If you've questions, you should just ask me. No offense, but humans can be quite stupid when it comes to legends and myths.'

'So Faust didn't exist?' I asked.

A small smile appeared on Sebastian's face as he put the laptop back on the table. 'I never said that, did I?'

'Okay, so were you the one who made a contract with him? Or are there others like you?' Because if there were, they were surely keen with keeping it a secret.

Sebastian laughed. 'I promise you that Sebastian Michaelis never made any sort of contract with Faust. But I can tell you that he is the reason our contracts are called Faustian Contracts.'

I leaned back in my chair, surprisingly interested in this. And I could see Sebastian's amusement and I knew that I could ask anything I wanted. But I also knew that he wasn't going to answer all my questions. After all, he _did _sort of avoid the 'are there more like you?'-question. 'So these contract things… are they normal? I mean, do you need to make a contract with a human to be able to devour their soul?'

'It depends,' Sebastian told me. 'We can steal a soul when a person's dying without permission, but those souls are usually very weak and when we do that we risk a conflict with a Reaper-'

'Reaper? As in Grim Reaper? Does he actually exist?' I pulled up my eyebrows. This was getting more and more interesting!

'Well, yes and no. There's not one Grim Reaper, because there are way too many souls for just one force. There are hundreds of Reapers,' Sebastian said, clearly a bit irritated that I interrupted him. 'But that's not the point. These Grim Reapers only appear when they have to take a soul and lead it to the other side and if we steal a soul, they can become very angry. For the weak soul you gain, it's just too much of a bother.'

'But don't you die if you don't eat enough?' I asked and I heard how strange had sounded, knowing I was talking about human souls and not about food.

Sebastian smirked. 'Who says that I'm not eating? Souls are just a special meal, I can still my hunger with other things.'

'Such as…?' I asked when I didn't continue.

'Emotions,' was his answer.

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Emotions,' I repeated.

A smile scarier than death appeared on his face. 'Why do you think your sadness was suddenly gone?'

My surprise almost caused me to fall out of the chair. 'Oh,' I said, frowning. Eating my emotions sounded a bit weird. And creepy. But I already knew that he was a creep, so that didn't surprise me. I was actually very forgiving for his weird habits now, knowing that he wasn't human.

'Don't worry,' Sebastian said, 'it won't kill you. I've been feeding off of the house staff and the kids in school for years now. Do they look bothered.'

'No,' I admitted. 'But the house staff does sort of seem messed up,' I added.

That made Sebastian laugh. 'Trust me,' he said. 'They were like that even before I found them.'

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When we sat in the car I tried to focus on the book I was reading. But I could feel Sebastian's eyes on me and it made me feel highly uncomfortable.

'Could you please stop staring at me?' I asked him without looking up. A trick that I'd picked up from Ciel.

'No,' Sebastian said and I had to admit that it was nice that he was at least honest about it.

'But you're freaking me out,' I admitted, still not looking up.

That made him chuckle. 'Well, when aren't I?' he then asked me.

That question made me look up. 'Touché,' I said before looking back at the page.

Sebastian chuckled once again, but I knew that he wasn't looking at me anymore. I wasn't sure where he was looking at and my curiosity made me actually look up after a while.

He was looking outside the window. And I couldn't help but feel attracted to that perfect face of his. The eyes, that I now knew for sure they were red, since I'd seen them up close, the eyelashes that every woman would kill for, and the black hair that always seemed to scream 'touch me, touch me!'. And his soft pale lips that could make every word feel so scary, but also so hypnotic and sweat…

'What? I'm not allowed to stare but you are?' Sebastian said, slowly turning his head to look at me.

I blushed and tried to hide my face behind the book, but I knew that that didn't work. He knew I'd been staring. 'Well, you have to admit that you're a nicer thing to look at.'

Again, I got a brutally honest answer. 'Well, of course I am,' he said. 'I'm not human.'

'And what exactly is that supposed to mean?' I asked, really trying not to sound hurt by his words.

Sebastian shook his head. 'Human, they don't understand a thing,' he said and his words sounded so meaningful, almost as if he was hurt by his own words. 'They don't understand that perfect eyesight isn't an advantage, but a burden. The perfect eyes can see through every trick that humans try to pull. Make-up, plastic surgery. Perfect eyes can see through every flaw the human skin has to offer, making even the natural beauties seem ugly. In a world where you can see the reality behind beauty, nothing is pretty. Nothing is beautiful. A human wouldn't be able to handle such a hideous world. But the strangest thing is… It is in fact their world.'

It was silent in the car as I was trying to grasp what it was he wanted to say with this and he watched me as I tried to understand what he just said. 'Even flaw can be beautiful,' I said after a while. 'No one is perfect. You're right, there are people who try to be perfect with make-up and other tricks, but in the end, no one is. That's what being human is all about, right? Having flaws? Every flaw in my skin is my own flaw. And I think, in a way, that unique flaw makes me beautiful.' I cannot believe I just said that.

Sebastian started at me for a minute, but I was sure he was going to disagree with me. But then he said: 'Maybe you're right. But I'll never know. After all, I'm not human.' Something about his words made me sad, even though he hadn't said them sad at all. He had said if as if he was stating a fact. As if he was telling me that the sky was blue.

'Don't you sometimes wish you were one?' I asked, knowing the answer before I even asked it.

'No,' he answered almost immediately. 'I've lived long enough to see the true human nature. Humans are selfish creatures and only care for others if it suits themselves. I may be a demon, but I'm way to honest to care for someone half-heartedly. I will only care or help someone when I feel like it and when I think I will gain enough from doing so. Humans live their lives, trying to convince themselves that they're good, that they're pure. But they wouldn't beg a God for mercy if they were, would they?'

'You are a pessimistic little demon,' I told him, not wanting to continue this way too deep conversation.

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**So that was chapter seven! I hope you liked it! Sorry I had so much explain-stuff in this chapter, but I just wanted to get my rules for demons and stuff out of the way. It's so weird to write about Ciel and Sebastian and then have one of the characters use a laptop XD, it just seem out of place or something. But yeah, thanks for reading this chapter! I don't think I'll be able to update tomorrow, but I think there will be a new chapter on Sunday!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Just as last week, weekend's almost over and then I have to go and make homework and be stuck at school till 6 in the evening and Friday the 5****th**** is actually a Dutch holiday, so I don't think I'll be able to post anything then. Anyhow, enjoy the chapter! And remember, I don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

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**Chapter 8**

I woke up the next morning in the same enormous bed that I had woken up in the previous time I was in the Phantomhive house. The only difference was that, this time, I didn't feel the need to jump out of a window and run away. Not because I was okay with being here, but because I now knew that Sebastian wouldn't let me leave anyway.

I was too lazy to get dressed, so I grabbed my bathrobe that laid in one of the suitcases in my room, suitcases full with _my _stuff, and put it on. I really didn't care if anyone saw my bedhead, but I didn't want to let anyone see my horrible pink _Hello Kitty _pyjama. Though I knew that Sebastian had probably seen it when he packed my stuff, but I tried hard not to think about that.

I walked into the corridor barefoot and looked around. When I saw that there was no one there, I again started to wonder just how many people worked here. I didn't think that those three idiots could handle everything by themselves. They will break this estate apart before fixing anything.

I walked aimlessly through the gigantic mansion, but everything was so quiet. Maybe everyone was still asleep. Wait… what time was it? The sun was already up, right? Of course, it was summer, so the sun of already up at like 5 'o clock, but that's not the point here.

Wait… Did demons need sleep?

I shook my head. _No. _I'm not going to think about Sebastian first thing in the morning. I've got better stuff to do. For example, looking for the kitchen. I was starving.

Then I heard a loud '_boom_' paired with Finnian's scream: 'Found you, rat!'

I could feel the whole place shake as something very heavy fell down. I could hear Finnian, Baldroy and Mei-Rin talk, but now that they weren't screaming I couldn't hear what they were saying. Also, I didn't know exactly where they were. This house was so big, it was like their voices came from everywhere.

So I just ignored the trio, they were most likable goofing around again, and continued my walk through the endless corridors.

Then suddenly I walked up to Sebastian, who was carrying a plate with a tea set on it. Even though I bumped into him pretty hard, he still held the plate perfectly and didn't even stumble. But then again, he _was _perfect in every sense of the world. And that _smell…_

No, no, no, no. Stop it. Just think about hot actors or something. But the moment I thought that I knew that there wasn't an actor in the world more handsome then Sebastian.

'Good morning,' he said, only slightly amused. 'What _are_ you wearing?'

'My Sunday outfit,' I let him know, ignoring the insult in his voice.

A small smile crossed his face. 'Well, you look gorgeous,' that was so obviously sarcastic, 'but I really hope that you won't join the morning tea like that.'

Wanting nothing more than to irritate him, I looked him straight in the eye and said: 'Maybe I will.'

The smile that then appeared on his face made me believe that I'd made the wrong choice. 'Okay, then. Follow me.' He leaded me to a different room then Ciel usually sat, this room had similarities, but swords were hanging on the wall and there was a red couch. There was also a different, round table in front of the couch and two chairs were standing round the table as well. Ciel was sitting in one of the dark red chairs, but the other one wasn't empty. A beautiful woman with pale skin, red hair, red clothing and a strange colour eyes was sitting in the other one. The couch wasn't empty either. A Asian-looking man was sitting on the couch and on his lap sat a Asian-looking girl. They both wore Asian clothing and I found them kind of strange. Not because they were Asian, but because there was more than enough cough for them to both sit on it. Why was she sitting on his lap? That didn't look proper. And also, the man had a really strange look in his eyes.

The last person I noticed was another butler-looking guy. This man also had a strange colour eyes, almost yellow, and his hair was long and brown, but he kept it in a tail. He looked as if he had no idea what he was doing here.

And when I entered the room, this group of colourful people was looking at me. And I realized that I out of all these people, probably looked the strangest. 'Um… hey,' I said and I could see Ciel's annoyance as he saw what I was wearing.

Wow, this really wasn't a good idea.

Sebastian just ignored me as the poor tea in the cups and handed them to the guests. 'Today's tea is a Darjeeling tea from Fortnum & Mason,' he explained after handing two teacups to the Asian man and woman.

'It smells delicious,' the man said, surprisingly without an accent. 'Tea can be exceptional when well brewed, hmm?'

The lady in red narrowed her eyes as she took a sip. She glanced at the other butler in the room. 'Grell. Learn something from him,' she said sharp and disdainful.

The butler looked nervous and stumbled like lunatic. His voice also sounded a lot higher than a normal guy would speak. 'W-w-well… Y-yes, my Lady,' he said.

The lady closed her eyes for a minute and then looked at me. 'Is she the girl you told me about?'

Told you about? Who told you about me?! Clearly it had been Ciel, since he was the one to answer: 'Yes, so I would appreciate it if you would just sign the document I gave you before the end of the day. I really don't want Scotland Yard in my estate right now.'

'Alright, fine. I will. But only because you ask me to.' The woman looked at me for another three seconds and then looked at Sebastian. 'That aside… You're a fine-looking man, aren't you?' she asked and she looked like she wanted to harass him. 'Quit serving in this silly country house and come to me.'

Okay, this conversation suddenly took a different turn. The woman even sounded sort of drunk. But I could see that she wasn't. Drunk people always had that strange look in their eyes. She clearly still had her shit together.

Ciel cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. 'Madam Red,' he said, almost as if he was her parent.

'Ah, Goodness, I'm sorry!' she said, scratching the back of her head. 'Every time I see him, I just want to have him! Perhaps that's how doctors are!'

Err. No. That's _not _how doctors are.

I looked almost feel the burning irritation that Ciel felt right now from the place I was standing. He put down his tea. 'By the way, Clarissa. This is Madam Red, she's my aunt and my guardian. She will be your guardian so that there's no problem with you staying here.'

That came way to fast. I tried to grasp what he said, but it just sounded so… unlikely. 'Wait… what? Since when do you have a guardian?'

Ciel looked at me with a cynical face that I would only describe as the '_really?_'-face. 'Yes, I do. It's kind of an obligatory thing, you know.' He folded his hands together. 'Don't worry, she won't kidnap you. It's just something that needs to happen in order for you to be able to stay with me.'

I had no idea how I was supposed to react to that. Should I say 'thank you'? or maybe I should run for my life. Seeing as the second one wasn't a useful option and the first one was something I would never do, I didn't say anything.

Ciel made a sort of wave gesture to the Asian guy. 'And that is Lau.' He didn't bother to introduce the girl sitting on his lap.

'And I-I-I am G-G-Grell!' the other butler then said, suddenly standing in front of me. He took my hand in his and shook it as if he wanted to rip my hand off. 'It's s-s-s-so nice t-t-to meet you!'

And then I saw it. As he touched me and I looked at him, I saw how similar his skin was to Sebastian's. Pale and perfect, as if they were dolls rather than people. Was this guy also a demon? He seemed way too… annoying for that.

'Grell!' Madam Red said sternly.

Grell immediately dropped my hand and went back to his spot in the room.

But just as he'd taken his position, another guest left his. The Asian man, Lau, put the girl that was sitting on his lap on the couch and walked towards me. He lifted my chin and observed my face. 'What a cute girl you are,' he said, looking at me as if I was some sort of treasure rather than a person.

And then someone pulled me away from him in some sort of deathly embrace. 'Keep your paws off of my new little niece!' Madam Red said to him in a possessive, almost angry manner. She was so close I could smell her perfume. A rose-like sent that made me think about my grandmother.

Lau laughed and folded his arms, clearly not-caring about what the woman thought. 'You wound me. I wouldn't paw at her here.'

If Madam Red's eyes could shoot flames, they would have after he said that. 'What? You're saying that you _would _somewhere else? That's a problematic statement, you know!' Somewhere during her rant she let go of me and I would have fallen on the ground if Sebastian hadn't caught me.

_'__You okay?' _he mouthed at me, putting me back on my feet so that I wouldn't fall if he let go of me.

_'__I'm fine,' _I mouthed back, pulling myself free from his grip.

As those two were still having this clearly useless conversation, Sebastian turned towards his master, who had gotten up from his chair and was now walking towards the door. 'Young master?' he asked.

Ciel walked out of the room without answering his butler's call.

And since I didn't see any reason why I had to stay in that room, I just mumbled a 'bye' and left the room.

Not that it was any less chaos in the corridor.

'It's him!' Baldroy screamed. He and the other two were running through the corridor, with some sort of net in their hands. And it was clear they were running after a rat.

Aha. So that was what they were doing.

Ciel suddenly stopped walking and pressed a hand against his forehead. Since I immediately thought it had something to do with the seal on his eye (or in his eye, I wasn't quite sure) I ran towards him. 'Ciel?' I asked, the same time someone behind me said: 'Young master?'

Ciel turned around, but only to look at his butler and not at me. I wasn't sure how to feel about that, but since I was used to being ignored by now I just stood there looking at the two.

And then Sebastian started to talk about food. 'Today we'll be having a deep-dish apple raisin pie. It will be ready soon. Will you eat it with your guests?'

I didn't dare to ask if I could have a piece, but my stomach growled the moment I heard the word 'pie'. I really needed to eat something.

Ciel gave his butler a cold look. 'Just bring it to my room. I can't deal with them anymore,' he said and after that, he turned around and walked away.

And this time, I didn't follow him.

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Sebastian helped the three idiots with catching the rat – so that took like, three seconds – and then went to the kitchen for the pie. And since I had nothing better to do and since I really wanted pie, I decided to just follow him. But I have to admit that it was clear that he didn't enjoy that.

When we reached the kitchen I was actually surprised about how small it was. I thought that a big mansion meant a big kitchen, but that was not the case. It wasn't that much bigger than my old kitchen, actually.

'Are you following me because you're bored or because you haven't eaten anything yet?' Sebastian asked me while cutting a slice of the pie and putting it on a plate.

'Both,' I told him. 'But mostly the 'haven't eaten' part.'

A smile crossed Sebastian's lips, but it was gone before I could enjoy it. 'If you make yourself presentable, I will prepare breakfast for you and bring it to your room. Does that sound reasonable?' He asked as he cut yet another slice and placed it on yet another plate.

'Yes!' I said. 'But I think you'll have my breakfast ready before I'm ready, because I think it will take a hour for me to find my room in this maze.'

This time the smile on his face stayed there for a little bit longer. 'I would recommend you start searching, then.'

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I was really proud of myself when I found my room in less than five minutes. To my surprise, my bed was already cleaned and towels were put on the end of it. I was sure that Sebastian had done that, but I wasn't sure _when_.

My 'room' wasn't really _a _room. More like three. I had an office, that looked almost exactly the same as Ciel's office, and I saw that Sebastian had put all the books, mine and my father's, from my old house in the bookcases there. I had a bathroom, what was almost as big as the office room, so that was like a dream come true and I had the bedroom that I had slept in. And I had a walk-in closet!

I took a shower in the enormous bathroom and pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt out of one of the suitcases. Then I grabbed my laptop and sat down behind the desk, waiting for my breakfast to arrive. I kind of felt like a princess. Or the Queen. Or a celebrity. In any case, I felt rich. Like, really, _really _rich.

Sebastian came into my office only minutes after I had started my laptop. 'Here's your slice of deep-dish apple raisin pie, some scones and morning tea. If you want anything else, you can always look for me.' A devious smile appeared on his face. 'But just know that if I do not want to cook anything else for you, you won't be able to find me.' And after that he disappeared.

And I was alone in my gigantic room with the most delicious and fat breakfast of my life.

Who knew that living with the devil could be so freaking awesome?

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**So, that was chapter eight. I hoped you liked it!**

**promocat****: I think Sebastian will try to find a way to have both ;) and that he would only break his contract with Ciel if he thinks that's the best thing to do. Ciel will be in the story for quite a bit, so don't worry about Sebastian dumping him. Yet. **


	9. Chapter 9

**As I said; tomorrow Dutch holiday, so no updates tomorrow! I wasn't even planning on updating today, but I just felt like writing. Have a nice day everyone and a nice Sinterklaas (the Dutch holiday I was talking about) if you live in the Netherlands or another place that celebrates the holiday!**

**And I still don't own Kuroshitsuji!**

**_(I don't know why, but I almost typed 'I don't own Death Note'. I mean… why? Kuroshitsuji and Death Note have nothing in common. I think I'm just tired. Also, because time in the Netherlands is different, it's now the 4_****_th_****_ of December, almost 8 pm and the Dutch holiday is on the 5_****_th_****_ of December, so yeah. Enjoy the chapter!)_**

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**Chapter 9**

'Oh my God!'

I could hear the teenagers scream as Sebastian helped me out of the limousine. I had to admit that seeing their surprised, but mostly jealous, faces was something I'd never thought I'd see. And it was priceless.

Sebastian had a big amused grin on his face and when I looked at him with the same kind of smile, he said: 'Their emotions are all over the place.'

I laughed and made way for Ciel as Sebastian let go of my hand.

It was strange how much I had gotten used to him in the three days that had passed since I started living with them. Even the three idiots started to grow on me. The only person I had barely seen was Ciel, but I wasn't sure why not. I think he just really hated it to be around people.

And a perfect example of that was the cold look he gave all the people on the street in front of our school that were looking at him as if he was some sort of God… but not in a positive way.

I felt kind of cool when I walked towards the school, eyes following me as if I was some sort of superstar.

'Don't they have anything better to do?' I heard Ciel behind me say in a grumpy tone. I heard Sebastian chuckle and I considered walking besides them, but stopping now to be able to walk besides them would be strange, so I didn't.

As I walked into my first class, I realized that I had done none of the homework giving to us before the break.

Fan-tas-tic.

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'You look like you're enjoying yourself,' Ciel said, his voice overloaded with sarcasm. He sat at his table in the canteen and read the paper, which was odd because I never saw him do that before.

I threw my bag on the table and sat down in the most angry way possible. 'Well, yeah. Teachers got angry at me for not doing my shit. Do they even care that my father died?'

'Of course they do,' Ciel said. 'Today's newspaper is all about the accident.' He then showed me the article he was talking about.

I almost threw up when I saw the picture. It was of me and Sebastian, standing in the doorframe of my old house. I didn't even know there were reporters back then. And I didn't see any camera. Who the hell made this picture?

_'__Tragic suicide of Barrymore's mayor leaves daughter and town hopeless'._

I almost laughed at the title. 'Are they serious? _I'_m not hopeless without him. _He _would me without _me_.'

Ciel sighed and then grabbed something from his back. He then handed that to me. 'This is a magazine that was interested in another part of the story.' He opened the magazine and handed it to me.

It was de same picture, again, but there was a second one. The one where I was trying to keep him out and he was determent do get in. The headline was way worse than the one of the newspaper. '_Consolation from the butler?_' I almost fainted when I read that. I quickly read the few sentences of the actual article, hoping that it was just a misprint. '_Not even an hour after her father committed suicide, a young man appears at the Barrymore house. This man is no one else but the Phantomhive butler, Sebastian Michaelis. After observing for a while, we clearly see him getting into the house with Barrymore's daughter, to only hours later get into a car together and leave the city. Is this what you call a love scandal? Did the father of Clarissa Lane, the daughter who oddly enough doesn't share her father's last name, not approve of her boyfriend? And what does Sebastian's master, the young genius Ciel Phantomhive, think?_'

I closed the magazine before I read too much. 'Oh, gosh,' I said, hiding my face behind my hands.

'It's not that bad. The paparazzi love to hear about me and my butler, so they isn't a surprise that they would hear about this and turn it into a scandalous story.' Ciel sighed and took the magazine back from me. 'Don't worry too much. It's boring.'

I could just feel everyone in the canteen staring at us. I wasn't sure if they were looking at me, Ciel, Sebastian or us all, but I knew that they weren't happy. 'I want to go home!' I whined, trying to close this subject.

'Stop acting more childish than the child sitting in front of you,' Ciel said, not shying away from the fact that he was two years younger than me.

'But _Ciel!_' I said, now being whiny on purpose to tease him.

'Zip it,' he said, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile on his face.

Then I looked up at Sebastian, who was looking at me with a look that I didn't understand. He looked as if he tried to read my mind… And I didn't like that at all.

'Do you have any special demon powers?' I asked him, mostly to distract him, but also to distract myself so that I wouldn't stare at him.

Sebastian pulled an eyebrow up. 'Special demon powers?' he repeated, sounding more cynical then I thought possible.

I sighed and started to relax as I pulled my mouth open and said every little thing that came to mind: 'Yeah, like reading mind or changing into a bat or something. Wait… do you have wings? Angels have wings, right? Do demons have wings too? And if so, where are you hiding them? If you pull them out, do your clothes rip become of it? Or do you use magic so that your clothes stay intact?'

Sebastian looked even more cynical now. 'Magic?' he repeated, but he didn't say anything about the wings.

Ciel frowned now, looking up at his butler. '_Do _you have wings when you're in this form, Sebastian?' he asked.

Sebastian sighed, knowing that he couldn't ignore a question his master asked him. 'If I wanted to have wings, I would.'

'So what, you can make yourself look however the hell you want?' I asked. 'Because if that's the case, then I want to become demon too. That would be so unfair.'

'Life is unfair,' Sebastian said, surprisingly cold. But he did answer my question: 'But no, I cannot. I have a human form, an animal form and a demon form. Those can't be changed, but I can alter between them.'

'Wait,' I said, understanding it without truly understanding it. 'You think this form looks _human_?' I asked. 'I'm very sorry, but a human couldn't even dream of having such a godly face as you have.' The moment I said it I put my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. I had already said it.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! As if this demon wasn't arrogant enough!_

A seductive smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'You think I look attractive?' he asked amused.

Something about those words put me off. Or maybe it was my embarrassment that was so desperate to try and hide itself that it made me angry. 'Does anyone on planet earth think you're not? Come on, dude. I bet even you can't deny the fact that you're gorgeous.'

Sebastian rose his eyebrows. He clearly didn't expect me to compliment him _again._

Oh gosh. Why did I open my mouth again?

'Okay, love birds,' Ciel said, clearly being annoyed and bored by this conversation. 'I'm done eating. I'm going to my next class. Clarissa, come with me while he cleans up the table. I really don't want to hear the two of you discuss anything every again.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When the day was over I was so happy that I almost thought I would cry. Everyone had been looking at me in every class I was in an even though I liked the attention at first, it got annoying really quick.

Ciel sighed when he sat down next to me in the limousine. Sebastian went and set in the driver's seat.

'How was school today?' I asked Ciel, since I hadn't had any classes with him after lunch.

He made a sound that didn't sound like he had enjoyed his day of school. 'Boring as ever. A game gets boring if the field never changes.'

'Right,' I said, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. Why did he always make comparisons between real life and a game? I mean, who did that? Life wasn't a game. Everyone knew that. Even iceman Ciel should now.

Then Ciel surprised me. 'How was your day at school?'

I looked at him for a while. I never thought he would ever ask me something like that. I thought that I was just a bore to him. 'Er… okay, I guess?' I said, not really sure what the good answer was, the answer that Ciel wanted to hear.

He closed his eye for a moment. 'That's great,' he said, but I couldn't tell if he was being cynical or not.

'Do you think the house still stands when we arrive?' I said, trying to avoid a silence.

That made Ciel open his eye again. 'What?'

'I mean, we _did _sort of leave the three idiots alone in the house all day,' I said, making it awkward by sounding as if I was some sort of Disney-villain.

Ciel sighed. 'I've left them before. If I don't give them anything to do, they usually break nothing apart. However, the risk is always there.' He made a move with his hands as if he was trying to brush my worries away. 'But don't worry. There's nothing those three could do to my mansion that Sebastian wouldn't be able to fix.'

And knowing Sebastian, I knew he was right.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When we arrived home there was an unexpected surprise waiting for us.

The main hall was filled with flowers, glitter and confetti and the whole room smelled like chocolate cake and something else… Something sweet.

'What in the world happened here?' Sebastian asked, but the only answer he got were the three idiots who came running towards him. I thought for a sec that they were going to attack him, but they just grabbed him and cried: 'Sebastian!'

'What in the world happened?' he repeated as they hugged him as if he was his mother and they were three little children who got bullied.

'Ask the crazy girl!' Baldroy asked and first I thought he meant me, but then I saw him point at a fast moving object in the room.

'Crazy girl?' Ciel repeated, but before he could even say something else, someone grabbed him and hugged him as if he was her favourite Barbie.

The girl that was hugging him was young, she couldn't be older then twelve, and had blonde hair. She was wearing an orange dress and her voice was high pitched and too be honest, a bit annoying. 'Ciel!' she screamed. 'I missed you!'

I was surprised how not-angry Ciel reacted. 'Elizabeth!' he said, but he only sounded surprised. He didn't seem unhappy to see her, nor was he annoyed with the fact that someone was touching him.

The girl – Elizabeth – released him. 'Aww, you know I'm always telling you to call me Lizzie!' she said with a big smile on her face. A smile that I hadn't seen much in my life. She smiled at him as if… she loved him. Then she pulled him back for another hug. 'Aww, you're just so cute!'

Sebastian sighed, but silent so that only I could hear it. 'Lady Elizabeth,' he said. And if I was surprised with Ciel's reaction to this girl, then Sebastian's reactions killed me. He was even smiling at her!

His hello did distract the little girl from Ciel. 'Oh, Sebastian! Good afternoon!' she said happy.

'Elizabeth,' Ciel said, a little bit of his bitterness back in his voice. 'What have you done to my mansion?'

'I just wanted to add more cute things!' she said, not even thinking about the fact that it could bother Ciel.

'Ah,' Ciel said, just letting it slide. HE. JUST. LET. IT. SLIDE. Who are you and what have you done with Ciel, because clearly, you're not him. 'By the way, Elizabeth, why are you here? Where's auntie?'

_Auntie?! _Did he seriously just address someone with the word '_auntie_'?

Elizabeth smiled a lovely smile and grabbed Ciel's hands. 'I wanted to see you, Ciel, so I snuck away and here.' After that she pulled him in for another hug.

'Snuck away?' he repeated with not only surprise but also worry in his voice. 'What were you thinking?'

Elizabeth laughed and released him again. Then she saw me. 'Who's she?' she asked, observing me from head to toe. 'She's so cute!'

Ciel sighed. 'That's Clarissa. She's having problems with her family at the moment, so she's staying with me.'

A sad, almost cartoonlike grumpy-face appeared. 'Eh?' Elizabeth said. 'I also want to stay with you!' She started to rant to Ciel about stuff that I really didn't want to hear, so I turned to Sebastian.

'Er, who is she?' I asked. I noticed that the three idiots had disappeared, but I wasn't sure when that happened.

'Oh, this is the daughter of the Marquess of Scotney. Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford,' he said.

'You didn't have to tell me her full name you know. How do you even know that?' I asked teasingly.

Sebastian ignored my comment. 'Lady Elizabeth is Ciel's childhood friend. And if you ask Elizabeth, she is his fiancé.'

That was definitely not a word I expected to hear in this subtext. 'Aren't they a bit too young for that?' I asked.

Sebastian nodded. 'But it isn't like that. Their parents are old friends and they really wanted to see their kids get married. So they brought them together as much as they could. That changed, of course, when young master's parents passed away. But that doesn't change the fact that she's a very old friend.'

'And, let me guess, rich as fuck?' I asked sarcastically.

The only answer I got from Sebastian was an amused smile that clearly meant 'yes'.

Then Elizabeth suddenly looked at me again. 'Ow, but she's so pretty! Can I choose a dress for her sometime? Please, please, please!' she begged Ciel.

Ciel sighed. 'Ask _her._'

'Yes, yes!' Elizabeth said, almost running towards me. 'Can I dress you up sometime? I would love to dress you up sometime!'

What did she think I was, her personal Barbie doll? But it was obvious that Ciel really cared for this little girl. And something about her made her impossible to hate. 'Sure,' I said, smiling as kindly as I could.

'Yay!' she said, clapping enthusiastic in her hands. 'Ooh, why not just dress you up today, then?! We can have a ball in the old ballroom, just like we always did as kids!' She gave Ciel a puppy-look. 'Can we, Ciel?' she asked in a way that was almost impossible to refuse.

Ciel sighed once again. 'Fine.'

'Yay!' she screamed again, making me jump. 'I'm going to call my dressmaker and my hairstylist and we're going to make you so pretty!' She said, smiling at me as if I was worth a thousand unicorns.

Oh, boy. I started to feel like this was a mistake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Me:****_ La la, la la la la, sing a happy song. La la, la la la la, I don't own Kuroshitsuji._**

**Clarissa: That didn't even rhyme.**

**Me: Shut up, no one will know.**

**Clarissa: I think everyone will know.**

**Me: Argh, you're annoying. **

**Clarissa: Well, you created me, so it's your own fault.**

**Me: Argh! Stop being a party ruiner! Now I'm going to make you dance with Sebastian.**

**Clarissa: I'm not a – wait. WHAT?**

**Me: Enjoy the chapter, everyone!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 10**

When Elizabeth says she'll dress you up, she apparently takes her self-given job very seriously.

She went to the city (strange enough without me, though I must admit that was a relieve) and came back hours later with a shitload of dresses.

I was surprised how well they all fitted. It was like she knew my measurements. When I had put on the second dress, a blue one that fell like a waterfall down to my ankles, I asked her: 'How do you know my measurements?'

She looked at me confused, as if it was a strange question to ask. 'Sebastian gave them to me.'

Argh, I should have known. And how does _he _know them? Did he measure me in my sleep? Gross, I hoped not. I really hoped it was just one of his demon powers.

After putting on all the dresses Elizabeth choose the one that I felt the less comfortable in. It was a tight red dress. And even though it wasn't a slutty dress and I had to admit that it was the one that looked the best on me, there was one reason that I really didn't want to wear it.

It had the same red colour as Sebastian's eyes.

When Elizabeth hair stylist was pulling my hair in an attempt to make it somewhat presentable, I looked at the girl with a scared look in my eyes. 'Err, Elizabeth-'

'Lizzie,' she said. 'Just call me Lizzie, okay?' She smiled cheerfully.

'Okay,' was my brilliant reaction. 'Lizzie. I'm very flattered that I'm invited to this… ball? But you keep talking about a waltz and I gave literally no idea how to dance a waltz.'

She pulled but her eyebrows. 'Oh! But you're a girl!' she said, as if any girl these days knew how to dance. 'Didn't your father teach you how to dance?'

I cringed as she said that, but I somehow managed to keep my farther reactions under control. 'No, he did not,' I said, surprised with how calm I sounded.

'Oh,' she said, looking extremely disappointed. Then her face cleared up again. 'But that's okay, Ciel can't really dance either! So I will teach Ciel and Sebastian will teach you, doesn't that sound great?'

No amount could ever state my enormous amount of sarcasm when I said: 'Fantastic.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Stop looking like that. If I see that smirk of yours one more time, I swear to God I will stamp on your toes.'

Sebastian chuckled. 'I can't help myself. From up-close your expression are even more amusing.' His eyes sparkled amused.

I sighed. He hadn't even seen me in my dress. Elizabeth immediately made me change into my normal clothes again so that we could have dance classes in the ballroom. A gigantic room in the Phantomhive mansion that looked like a movie set, it was absolutely beautiful. What wasn't beautiful were my attempts to dance.

'Stop being so scared,' Sebastian said. 'Even if you fail, then you can at least say you've tried.'

'There is no 'if',' I said grumpy. 'I will most certainly _fail._'

He laughed, obviously agreeing. 'Even so, you have to try. And don't worry. Failure is impossible if you have me as your teacher.'

'Show-off,' I muttered.

'Cry baby,' was his reaction.

I sighed and decided that this conversation was going nowhere. While Sebastian was guiding me through the ballroom, which had gotten a lot easier the moment that I stopped caring about where we were going and what I was supposed to do, I decided to start a conversation that _did _have my interest. 'You never really gave an answer, you know?' I said.

'Sorry? What are you talking about?' But the smile on his face told me that he exactly knew what I was talking about.

'Demons powers,' I said. 'Do you have any?'

'You see, maybe I didn't answer the question because the question was quite vague.' He turned me around, though I was pretty sure we weren't waltzing anymore. This looked more like flying through the room.

'Okay, but if I name a power then you could them me if you possess it or not, right?' I suggested.

'Maybe,' he said, holding in his laugh. 'But you can't be certainly that I will tell the truth.'

I took that as a 'yes'. I started with the one that I really did not want him to have: 'Mindreading?'

A grin appeared on his face. 'No,' he answered. 'But as I've said before, I can read certain strong emotions.'

I look at him horrified. 'And when did you tell me that?!' I said, my voice way higher than normal because of the panic.

'Ssh,' Sebastian said. 'Don't worry. I can only read emotions when I feed of off them and right now, I'm not. So relax and ask your next question.'

Telling me to relax was about the same as feeding me a huge amount of sugar and then telling me to stay still. You know that that's not going to happen. But then I felt my panic and worry slowly leaving me and I looked at Sebastian with frowned eyebrows. 'You said you weren't feeding off my emotions.'

'And I've also said that you can't be certain that I will tell the truth,' he said and he looked at me as if there was more to that sentence then what I caught.

'Okay, okay,' I said, feeling more relaxed now. 'Do you drink human blood?'

The grin was back on his face. 'No. Some demons do like the taste and smell of human blood, but then it's merely for entertaining values. We can't feed of off human blood. And, to be honest, doing it would be a very low and ungraceful thing to do.'

Good to know that my nightmares would never come true. 'Can you predict the future?'

'Of course not.'

'Can you communicate with ghosts?'

'They do not exist. Not in the way humans think, anyway.'

I thought about that for a while, but quickly realised that it didn't interest e enough to ask more about it. 'Are you immortal?'

'To some extent, yes.'

This _did _catch my interest. 'So… how old are you?'

The grin disappeared. 'Next question.'

I frowned my eyebrows, not understanding what I'd said wrong. 'But-'

'Next question,' he said, almost sounding angry, which confused me. Sebastian was always calm.

I sighed, trying to stop my curiosity on the subject. 'Can you control emotions?'

'No. But demons are known to be very good seducers.' A seductive smile appeared on his face and proved his point. He _was _an amazing seducer. If I didn't know any better I would have thrown myself in his arms.

I shook my head, trying to get that thought out of my head. It was then that I noticed that we weren't dancing anymore. I also saw that Elizabeth and Ciel had left. When did that happen? 'What's your animal form?'

Sebastian looked surprised. 'What did you say?'

'Your animal form. You've told me you got one. I was curious what anime it was,' I explained.

He pulled up an eyebrow. 'I've also told you about my true form, my demon form. And you're more interested in my _animal _form?'

'Yes,' I said in all honesty. 'Because I know that your true demon form will either disgust or blind me, so I'd rather not know.'

He looked at me with a surprised look, as if he couldn't believe a word I was saying. 'How would you know?' he asked softly.

I shrugged. 'You're a demon. I think anyone could have guessed that a demon's true from is most likely hideous.'

'But you don't seem to care,' Sebastian said, clearly still trying to understand my way of thinking.

'Nope,' I said almost immediately. 'It's not like I get to see it one day. Worrying about an appearance I will never see is like worrying about who the president of America will be over a hundred years.'

'Crow,' he said, still looking confused. But he wasn't looking at me anymore. He looked out of one of the gigantic windows of the ballroom.

'Sorry?' I said.

He looked at me again, his red eyes looking surprisingly soft. 'A crow. My animal form is a red-eyed crow. My eye colour is the thing that never changes, no matter which shape or form.'

I couldn't help but stare in those red eyes as he talked about them. I never really thought about it before, but they were really pretty, his eyes. The long eyelashes and the colour red that looked like it lived its own live inside his eye.

I was touching his face before I even realised it. The tips of my fingers were on his cheek, slowly stroking the perfect skin. I looked at it in wonder, trying to grasp the perfection of his skin, of _him_.

'What are you doing?' he asked, for once not sounding amused.

It took me a while to answer. My fingertips trailed down to his jawline and remained there when I said: 'I'm touching you.' My fingers travelled to his lips and remained on his lower lip. I was surprised that his skin wasn't cold. It was warm, but not hot warm, but nice warm.

I would see Sebastian looking at me with a look that I didn't understand. 'And what does that tell you?' he asked.

I used both my hands to hold his face into my small hands. 'That humans are cold,' I said, letting my hands touch his perfectly soft hair.

'You're confused,' he said, suddenly sounding cold.

'Hm,' I said, agreeing with what he was saying. I really had no clue why I was touching him. I just really felt like it. 'Do we still need to… dance?'

Sebastian grabbed my wrists and pulled my hand from his face. Then he leaned forward so that he could whisper in my ears. 'I think this was enough practice for today, Madame Lane.'

The next moment, he was gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After dinner, Elizabeth took me to my room again to prepare me for the so called 'ball'. But during dinner I figured out that the ball wasn't really a ball. Only I, Ciel, Elizabeth, Sebastian, the three idiots and Elizabeth's maid where invited. So the dance practice had been really unnecessary.

The hair stylist put my hair up in some sort of bun and then another woman that I hadn't seen before did my make-up. I was surprised to see that Lizzie was still wearing the exact same clothes as she'd worn the whole day. 'Aren't you going to dress up?' I asked her.

She shook her head. 'I wanted to dress you up today, but if I dressed up too, I would outdo you!' She said it laughing as if it was the most obvious reason in the world.

Gee, thanks. 'Oh, I see,' was my _way _too kind reaction.

I had to stop myself from scratching the back of my head (and ruining my hairdo in the process) when me and Elizabeth walked towards the ballroom. During practice today, I hadn't been wearing heels. And now I was wearing heels, so I would fail no matter how long I had practiced today. And I probably had to dance with Sebastian, which I really didn't want to do. Certainly not after my incident today… I mean, what the hell was I thinking?

Oh gosh. Even I was making Hell jokes now. What would be next? Asking him out? I was really losing my mind every day I was in this stupid house. But I simply had nowhere else to go.

My gloomy mood lightened a bit when I saw everyone's reaction as I walked into the ballroom. Mei-Rin's glasses almost fell of and her mouth fell open, just like Finnian and Baldroy's mouths, and Ciel pulled his eyebrows up in surprise. The only one that I didn't get a reaction from was Sebastian, but given the situation, maybe that was for the better.

I was happy when Finnian asked me to dance, because that meant that I didn't have to dance with Sebastian. At least not now. Only Finnian wasn't a very good dancing partner and without Sebastian to guide me, I was even worse. So that totally failed.

'I've told you that you weren't going to fail _as long_ as I'm your teacher,' Sebastian said while me and Finnian were sitting on a beautiful, Marie Antoinette-like bench that was standing against a wall in the ballroom.

'And I've told you that I will fail no matter what I do. Maybe we should listen to each other for a change,' I said, not sure if I was joking or not.

Sebastian reached towards me with his hand. 'Would you give me the honour of dancing with me?' he asked, clearly being overly kind.

I sighed. Lizzie was going to kill me if I didn't, so I had to anyway. Whether it was now or somewhere in the next two hours. I took his hand and said. 'Why, you can.'

Sebastian guided me to the dance floor and we were dancing before I even got the time to change my mind. He chuckled as I looked at him with a 'how the hell do you do that?'-look and I thought that he pulled me a bit closer to him, though I wasn't sure about that.

Then he made me turn, but pulled me back halfway, making my back lean against his chest. He put one arm around my waist, the other one was still laying on my hip. 'So, miss Lane,' he said, breathing in my ear. 'Are you enjoying yourself.'

'Well,' I said and I could hear that I sounded a bit out of breath. And I hated that. 'Right now I'm a bit uncomfortable,' I admitted, knowing that if he wanted to know what I felt, he could.

I laughed in my ear and then pulled me back again, making me face him. His hands were now holding the upper part of my arms. 'I'm very sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. That was not my intention.'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'It clearly was your intention, don't try to deny it.'

He chuckled. 'Well, maybe it was. I guess you'll never know for sure.'

I pulled my arms free form his grip, which was easier than I thought it would be. But that meant that he wasn't really trying to hold me, because if he wanted to, I wouldn't be able to fight him. I knew that much. He could probably shatter my skull just by slapping it. 'I think I already got my answer,' I said, looking at Mei-Rin and Baldroy, who had taken my place on the bench. I was surprised that the three of them fitted on that small thing, but I was sure that they would break it before the end of the ball.

'Sebastian,' I heard Ciel say. I could see that Elizabeth and her maid were heading out to leave the ballroom. Ciel walked towards us, looking at Sebastian with a strange look in his eyes. 'Come and help me show Elizabeth and her accomplice the door.'

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, immediately stepping away from me. He walked besides Ciel as the two of them walked towards the exit together.

'What are you doing?' I could hear Ciel ask Sebastian.

But I couldn't hear the answer. And I wasn't sure why, but somehow that made me feel a bit relieved. Because I was really scared to hear the answer.

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**So, that was chapter ten, hoped you liked it! Thank you all for the kind reviews! I really, really appreciate it!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Weekend is almost over, so I think chapter 12 will be online Friday or something.**

**Oh, and I won't fill in the blanks that the anime and the manga left blank ****_on purpose_****. For example: Sebastian's age.**

**And sorry for the typos, I'm not feeling to well so typos everywhere!**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 11**

'What are you doing?' Ciel asked as he and Sebastian walked towards the door. He was tired of being social, but also annoyed. Sebastian never showed any sort of interest in any human whatsoever.

'She's funny,' was his answer, which wasn't really helpful.

Ciel gave him a disdainful glance. 'Funny? Since when do you even know what that word means?'

Sebastian frowned, but only for a second. Then a small and polite smile appeared on his face. 'I'm sorry, my Lord. I just found young lady Lane incredibly entertaining. If you don't appreciate the interest that I've gained in her, you can simply forbid me to interact with her.'

Ciel thought about that for a moment. 'No. You are allowed to interact with her. When you do you seem more… human.' He grinned at that thought. Sebastian would certainly hate that remark.

But the actual reaction Sebastian gave confused Ciel. 'Is that so?' he said, his voice sounding almost sad.

xXx

* * *

><p>The next morning was the worst. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open at school.<p>

And not only that, but I also had a test that I didn't study for because of the whole Elizabeth-thing.

I didn't join Ciel during lunch. I just sat down somewhere in the corridor and ate my lunch, that _I _made instead of Sebastian, because if he made it I'd have to go to him to collect it and I was desperately trying to avoid the guy.

I wasn't entirely sure why though. I mean, did I do anything wrong? No. But even the thought of speaking to him after I had felt his breath in my ear and his skin under my fingers was too much for me to handle.

'Hey Clarissa,' I heard someone say. 'Why are you sitting on the ground?'

I looked up and saw a classmate of mine, I thought his name was Edward, but I wasn't sure. 'Because I like sitting on the floor,' was my answer and I knew I sounded incredibly unkind.

'Oh. Aha,' was his reaction. 'Why aren't you hanging around with Ciel and his butler?' he asked and I could hear the disgust that everyone seemed to feel when they talked about Ciel and Sebastian.

'Because I'm not Ciel's lap dog. Anything else?' I asked, now being purposely mean.

Edward looked at me for a while and scratched the back of his head. 'No, I don't think so…' But it sounded like a question.

I sighed and gave him my 'you have three seconds to get the fuck out of here'-look, which he then did.

I sighed again. I really needed to work on my social skills.

xXx

* * *

><p>After school Ciel had to go to some sort of meeting with his company so Sebastian drove us to the office building of the Funtom Company. Which was an enormous building in the business part of London. Since our school and Ciel's mansion weren't in London, but in one of the smaller cities close to London, I had never seen the building before.<p>

'Wait, am I supposed to come with you?' I asked when Ciel got out of the car after Sebastian had opened up the door for him.

'Of course not,' Ciel said, 'don't be absurd. Sebastian will take you home and then return to my side immediately.' He gave Sebastian a glance. 'Do you understand?'

Sebastian made a small bow. 'Yes, my Lord.' After that he shut the car door in my face and went to sit back in the driver's seat.

Trying to ignore his existence I put on my headphone and listen to songs on my phone. I wasn't really a 'main-stream' girl and didn't really listen to popular music. I usually listened to very old music, music had the teenager of today had already forgotten. Or I listened to death metal since that had absolutely nothing to do with the classic music of the past, so yeah.

'Are you listening to Mozart?' Sebastian asked after a while, though I at first didn't catch it because of the headphones, so he had to repeat himself.

'Oh, gosh,' I said annoyed, already forgotten why I was ignoring him. 'Can you hear my music all the way up there?!'

'Yes,' he said, as if it was obvious. 'Lacrimosa, isn't it?'

'Er, yeah,' I answered. 'How did you now?'

I thought I could hear him chuckle, but I wasn't sure. 'It's God awful.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Way to go, demon, using 'God' and 'awful' in the same sentence.' But that was the moment that I realized this was a very religious song. 'Um, I can stop listening to it, if it bothers you.'

'That was a joke, Clarissa,' he said and I shivered when he used my name. 'The human who can write a song that bothers me doesn't exist.'

'Oh,' I said, disappointed. 'Do demons even have a weakness, or are they just invincible?'

'Very hard to kill, but not invincible,' Sebastian said, to my surprise. I never thought he would tell me that.

'So you _can _be killed,' I said. 'Not a very smart move to tell me that.'

He chuckled, but answered in a serious manner. 'Well, I wouldn't have told you if I thought you could do me any thing or harm.'

'I could kill Ciel,' I said, surprised by the dark tone I took. 'Then you won't have a soul to steal.'

'I would kill you before you could accomplish anything,' he said as if he was talking about doing the dishes. 'But it's not stealing. We have a contract.'

'And _what _exactly is that contract?' I asked him as I loosened my seatbelt so that I could climb to the other side of the limousine and stick my face in the small opening that was in the wall between Sebastian and me.

'I help him take revenge and protect him until his revenge his complete. Then I'm allowed to take his soul.' Again, he sounded so light-hearted about it. I mean, he _was _talking about murdering a child.

'So, if Ciel manager to take revenge... let's say, today, then you would kill him today?' I asked, suddenly scared of Ciel's cruel faith.

I could have seen the answer coming, and maybe I did, but it still shocked me to hear Sebastian say the word. 'Yes.'

'Oh God,' I said, putting a hand over my mouth in shock. 'Oh God. You… you've ruined his life!' I screamed and I could see that I made Sebastian jump, which normally would make me feel great, but right now I couldn't care less. 'He's just a kid! A KID!'

'So?' Sebastian said. He turned his head to look at me and still managed to drive perfectly. 'I'm a demon, Clarissa. When will you get that? I couldn't care less about Ciel's life or anyone else's. I get what I want when I want it and on my own conditions. Ciel had a choice, I never asked him to summon me.'

'Summon you?' I asked, still angry. 'Why the hell would Ciel summon you?!'

'Because his heart is filled with hatred,' Sebastian said, not looking at me anymore. 'A dark heart like that can summon the most powerful demons just by existing. But it was Ciel's burning desire for revenge that caught my interest.'

'So you're like the Angel of Vengeance?' I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. 'You can't be serious.'

Sebastian was already back to the smiling and amused mood that he seemed to be in most of the time. 'No, I'm not Raguel, but revenge does attract my attention.'

'Who?' I asked, having no idea what he was saying. 'Now you're just making shit up!'

'Actually, I'm not. But a mere human such as yourself wouldn't know that.' He looked back at me again, his eyes glowing with fire. 'If God didn't want us to do what we do, he would get rid of us. But he's not doing anything to stop does. Does that make us evil, the creatures who just behave according to their nature, or does that make the God that all of you seem to worship evil?'

I opened my mouth, but closed it again. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really think he was right, but I had nothing to prove he was wrong either. So I just kept quiet.

Sebastian nodded and turned back to looked at the road. 'That's all I'm saying,' he said, after ignoring me completely for the rest of the ride home.

xXx

* * *

><p>When I got home the first thing I noticed was that there was a letter on my desk. It seemed quite official. The red mark on the envelop looked familiar, but I wasn't sure why. I opened the letter and read.<p>

_Dear Clarissa,_

_How is it going? Are you copping with your loss? Is everything okay with Ciel? Does he eat enough vegetables?_

_I want to apologize for the sudden letter, but I just got a letter from the government and they wanted me to write you into an address, but since you aren't living with me, I wasn't sure what to do._

_I've spoken with my lawyer and there are two options that both need a lot of thought and a lot of approval. The first option is for me to change addresses and come to live with you and Ciel. This, for me, is not a very great option since the hospital I work in is in London, where I currently live, and also because Ciel has said numerous times that he doesn't like the idea of me living with him._

_The second option is for you to come live with me. Since I never had the chance to have children, I have to tell you honestly that I have no idea how to be a decent guardian, certainly not since Ciel has always been quite independent, but I will do my best to be the best guardian in the world if you come and live with me. I'll make sure that Grell drops you off at school every morning, or maybe we could arrange that Sebastian comes to pick and drop you off every day._

_The only reason this doesn't apply on Ciel is because his butler is his second guardian, but my lawyer has told me to not involve Ciel into this since that might cause him to lose his current position in the company and such. He also told me that the butler himself is not completely trustworthy either, so if he were to become your second guardian there will be investigations that can cause Ciel to lose Sebastian, and I don't want that to happen._

_I'm very sorry for all the trouble, but please remember that I'm only trying to help._

_Greetings and kisses,_

_Angelina Dalles_

_(or Anne or Madame Red)_

I almost dropped the letter after I was finished reading it. I understand what the letter said, but I just couldn't imagine myself living with that lady and her strange butler.

I sighed and walked towards Ciel's office. This was his concern, not mine. If he knew a way to fix it, he could fix it. But I knew that I couldn't fix it on my own. And somewhere deep down I hoped that Ciel didn't want me to leave. But I knew that that was just wishful thinking.

'What are you doing?' I heard someone ask and I turned around to see Mei-Rin in the office, clearly just planning on cleaning it.

'Oh, I'm sorry. I was just dropping a letter for Ciel,' I explained as I put the letter on his desk above all the other ones he'd received.

'Oh, that's okay, yes!' she said, sounding sort of nervous. 'H-how was school?'

'It was okay, I guess,' I answered, giving her a polite smile. Life couldn't be easy for such a clumsy maid. I still didn't quite understand why Ciel had hired her. Maybe it was out of sympathy, knowing that a maid like her could never get a decent job. If that was true, then that made Ciel even nicer. That kid really was way nicer then everyone thought he was.

Mei-Rin looked at me as if she wanted to ask something, but even before she spoke I got the feeling that I didn't want to hear the question. 'A-are you and S-S-S-Sebastian g-getting along well?' she asked, obviously implying something else.

My polite smile disappeared. 'We get along fine,' I answered, pretending I didn't catch the subtext behind the question.

'H-h-he is quite an attractive man, yes!' she said, trying to get me to answer a question that she didn't ask.

Well, apart from the fact that he isn't exactly a man, she was right, so I said: 'You can call it that, yes.'

'Yes!' she agreed. Then I could see her blush and she bowed suddenly, making me confused. 'I will get going now, yes!' And then she left the room as sudden as she came.

I sighed deep and left the office myself, knowing that I had no farther business there.

The maid was in love with the butler. How typical.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

**Me: I want tea. Does anyone have tea?**

**Sebastian: Well, I have, but since I don't exist in your world, bringing it to you would be impossible.**

**Me: DON'T SAY THAT! Now I'm sad.**

**Clarissa: Aren't you always? I mean, look at what you put me through!**

**Me: I'm sorry, Clary, but no one in this world things that living with Sebastian is a bad thing…**

**Clarissa: Yeah, but that's not the only thing that you- … Wait. They don't? What the hell?**

**Me: They actually really, ****_really_**** love the guy…**

**Clarissa: What? They know he's a demon, right?**

**Me: Jup.**

**Clarissa: Then why the hell do they love him so much?**

**Sebastian: Because I'm one hell of a butler.**

**Clarissa: Argh, shut up. This fangirl here doesn't own Sebastian or Kuroshitsuji. But she does own me. Unfortunately.**

**Me: Enjoy the chapter! (again sorry for the typos... I know I really make a lot of them, but I'l fix that as soon as I have more time...)**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Ciel called me to his office that evening. He waved with the letter as I walked up to him, standing still in front of his desk, but not sitting down.

'So the government doesn't support you living here with me without your legal guardian,' he said, clearly knowing that I knew this already. 'And since I don't want the police anywhere near my house or my staff, the two options in this letter are accurate. It's up to you what you want. Although I must admit that I do not like the idea of Madam Red and her butler living here.' He pulled a disgusted face. I really didn't understand where it came from.

'Well, the last thing I want to do is trouble you,' I said, knowing that I sounded a bit sarcastic, which made Sebastian, who was standing beside his master, give me a grin.

Ciel also caught my sarcastic tone and narrowed his eyes. 'Madame Red will be in the hospital until morning, but I'll call her as soon as her nightshift has ended. I'll talk to her about you moving in with her.'

I should have been sad that he just gave me up like that. He really didn't seem to care at all, didn't seem to _like _me. But the only thing I could think of was the fact that he was going to keep his aunt awake after an exhausting nightshift. 'Oh, no, don't do that! You can call her _after_ she has rested.'

Ciel pulled up an eyebrow. 'And why is that? This has haste, you know.'

Did he really not get it? Oh, well, it was Ciel Phantomhive we were talking about. For all I knew he didn't even realise other humans needed their rest and space. 'I get that,' I said, deciding not to go against Ciel. I suddenly felt sad and tired, as if someone had drained my energy from me. But when I looked at Sebastian, it was clear that he had nothing to do with it.

That or his poker face was just perfect enough to fool me.

'You know, Ciel, I'm tired. I leave this matter to you, okay? I'll just go wherever I'm welcome.' After I said that I waved slowly and walked out of the office.

The weird thing was that I started to cry as I walked back to my room. I didn't even know why. It just happened. I really hoped that Finnian, Baldroy or Mei-Rin weren't around to see, because the last thing I wanted was to make someone worried. Worry was an emotion that I couldn't appreciate, no matter what happened. I just always had the feeling that people didn't worry because they cared about you, but because the situation asked for them to be worried, since it was the right thing to do.

'You look awfully pathetic,' I heard Sebastian say before I saw him standing in front of my door.

I sighed. 'I really do not want to deal with you right now,' I told him as I tried to push him aside. Which, of course, didn't do anything. Geez, he was like a rock, he didn't even move an inch.

'Well, that's a shame, considering that I came all the way here for you.' I wasn't sure but I thought he sounded cynical.

'Well, that's a shame,' I said, copying his tone, 'because I'm not talking to you.'

A smirk appeared on his face. 'And yet you are.'

I moaned annoyed and considered walking away, from my own room for god's sake, but I knew that Sebastian would follow me anyway.

Then suddenly the smirk on his face disappeared. 'Where did you get that?' he asked, looking at something in my neck.

I was wearing a ponytail and hadn't realized it. I wore ponytails at home, but never at school or at another place people could see me. Because they would see the scar that was located at the back of my neck.

I quickly undid my ponytail so that my hair would cover the mark. 'Nothing. It was just some stupid thing that happened…'

Sebastian's eyes narrowed. 'When?'

I knew that he wasn't going to let it slide, so I just gave up before even trying and said: 'Well, you remember that friend I told you about?'

'Drossel Keinz, the friend who'd gone cuckoo,' Sebastian said, clearly remembering every single word.

'Yes,' I said, suddenly angry at myself for actually planning to answer the question. 'Well, the night he went 'cuckoo' he kind of… burn marked me.' I shivered as I remembered the incident. 'Wasn't sure why he'd done that, though. He said something about me being clean, or something.'

Sebastian still looked at me with narrowed eyes. 'Can I see?' he asked, for the first time sounding almost hesitant. I wasn't sure if it was the intense way he looked or the fact that he'd asked hesitant that I nodded, but I did. Sebastian approached me slowly, as if he was scared I would run away if he came too close too fast. He gently pushed my hair to the other side to expose the mark. His finger reached towards it, touching it with only the tip of his fingers. His fingers were surprisingly cold against my skin and I shivered a little, but he hold me still, making me incapable of moving.

Then he pulled away and my hair fell back in place. But he didn't step away from me. 'I'm pretty sure that friend of yours could be a lead to Ciel's revenge,' he said to my surprise. I never thought he would tell me things like that.

But the fact that Drossel could have something to do with the death of Ciel's parents seemed improbable to me. 'Drossel has been in the mental institution way longer than Ciel's parents have been dead.'

'That doesn't mean that those two aren't somehow related,' Sebastian said, clearly happy with this development.

I tried to swallow something heavy, but it didn't leave. 'You cannot tell Ciel about my mark. You can't.'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'And why not?' he asked, looking amused again.

I shook my head, even though there wasn't really a reason for it. 'Because that mark is a secret that no one should know about. I try to forget every single day.'

He looked at me like that wasn't a real answer, but he didn't say anything about it. Then he said: 'But then why show it to me?'

This question wasn't hard to answer. 'Because if you want something, you get it. Your words, right? I just gave up the struggle.'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'Oh? But I like it when you struggle.' His eyes seemed to glow. 'It's highly entertaining.'

'Is that all I'm good for?' I asked, pushing him away from me, which surprisingly worked. 'Entertaining the bored demon butler?'

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him, ignoring my attempts to get away from him. 'Well, maybe. Didn't you just say that I get what I want?' He leaned closer to me and I was surprised that he didn't bow over to my ear like he usually did. He bowed over to my neck, but not the side where the mark was. 'What's your secret worth to you?' he asked, his voice almost just a whisper.

'Everything,' I said, which was stupid and idiotic and possible the riskiest answer I could have given. What if he asked something for it that I couldn't give him?

'Hm,' he said, obviously liking the sound of that. 'I keep it a secret from my master, but in return I want…' He waited.

'What?' I said and I was happy that I sounded as strong as I did.

'Let me feed off on your emotions,' he said.

Okay, that was definitely not the answer I had expected. 'Why ask my permission? You can do that whenever you want, right?'

'Hm, not with you,' he said, his lips now at my ear. I had no idea how they got there. 'You're blocking me out.'

'I didn't even know that was possible,' I said, trying to keep my breath under control.

Sebastian grabbed both of my wrist now and pinned me against the door with a speed I couldn't keep up with. 'Neither did I,' he answered.

That confused me so much that I forgot that I was pinned against a door and seduced, and possible assaulted, by a demon. 'How can _you _not know?'

'I don't know,' the demon answered, clearly a frown in his voice. 'I don't like not knowing.'

'I don't you it that you don't know it,' I said, trying to distract Sebastian so that his hands would stop moving up and down my arms. He was just touching my arms, but it made me shiver like hell. Gosh, I should really try to escape. But that was the problem. Deep, deep, deep down, I didn't want to escape.

'Hmm,' he said, agreeing with me while his mouth slowly drew back as he straightened himself. 'But do you accept the deal?'

'Well, I think I do,' I said hesitant, 'but I'm not even sure if I can keep my side of the deal.'

An arrogant smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'Don't worry. I'll make you. But first I have to make Young Master ready for the night. A butler who doesn't even according to schedule is not worth his salt.' After that he winked and disappeared.

I slowly slid down with my back against the door until I reached the ground. And there I stayed for a very long time.

XxX

* * *

><p>I wasn't sure when or where I had fallen asleep, but when I woke up I was in my bed, still in the clothes from the day before.<p>

I looked at the clock at saw that it was only 5 am, but since I wasn't tired anymore, I got out of bed and took a shower. Just as I was dressed and on my way to the kitchen, which I by now knew how to find, I had the feeling someone was looking at me. But I was almost certain that it wasn't Sebastian, because he gave me shivers even when he wasn't even in the room. I think I would know it if it were him.

When I turned around I saw a small, black cat staring at me as if I was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. 'Hey there,' I said, since I'd always had the strange habit of talking to things that didn't talk back. 'What are you doing in the mansion? I didn't know Ciel had a cat.' I kneeled down on the floor so that I could touch the cat, who made a soft sound before coming closer to me.

'You're so cute,' I said softly, trying to understand why there was a cat I the house.

And then I saw the cat's eyes.

Red. But not the red that you saw in vampire-films and awful horror movies.

'_My eye colour is the thing that never changes, no matter which shape or form.'_

I immediately pulled my hand back. 'Sebastian?' I said, really hoping that this wasn't him. That he wasn't some sort of shape shifter, because that would be way too confusing for me.

'Yes?' someone behind me said.

I scream a scream of shock and almost landed on the cat as I turned around while still kneeling on the ground. Sebastian stood there, smiling an amused smile and looking at me as if I was crazy.

The cat immediately walked towards him when he appeared and Sebastian pulled him into a hug that only a cat-lover would pull a cat into. 'Isn't he the cutest little thing?' Sebastian said, smiling a smile that I had barely seen before. It was a lovely smile. And I started to believe that it was the only sincere expression he ever had on his face.

'He… he has red eyes,' I said, waiting for an explanation while still sitting on the ground.

Sebastian ignored that question. 'Cats are one of the only things I actually like about the human world.'

'Okay, okay, but that doesn't explain why this cat has red ey-'

'Miss Lane,' Sebastian said, sounding stern for some reason.

'Er, yes?' I asked, suddenly feeling like a student who got caught while cheating on a test.

A smile appeared on his face as he put the cat on his shoulder. 'Don't ask question that I can't answer,' he said.

'Can't or won't?' I asked, not trusting his use of words.

He pulled a face, as if _he _was the one who got caught this time. 'Won't,' he admitted, but then he seemed to remembering something, because the smile was already back on his face. 'But that doesn't matter now, does it? Right now, you and I still have some unfinished business.'

'Okay, I'm just letting you know that that sounds a bit weird,' I said, trying to avoid the subject of reading my emotion, which was what Sebastian wanted to talk about.

'Don't change the subject,' he said, as if he'd read my mind. 'We have a deal. And since Young Master won't wake up for another hour, I think it's safe to say that this is the proper time to fulfil our contract.'

The word 'contract' made me jump. 'Contract? We never made a contract, did we?' I said, immediately covering my right eye.

He laughed and it sounded absolutely wonderful. Only I knew that I shouldn't think like that. 'Not that kind of contract. You know what I'm talking about, Clarissa. Don't avoid the subject.'

'I'm not avoiding the subject!' I said, putting my arms together. 'I just really don't feel like doing it.'

Sebastian laughed again and pulled me up, pulling harder than necessary so that I would fall against his chest. I looked up at him, annoyed. 'Are you enjoying yourself?'

'Very much so,' he said and the smile on his face was so beautiful that I wish I could take a picture with my phone and make it my wallpaper so I could stare at it every day. Wow, I really started to sound like a creep.

I guess I must have pulled a very strange face as those thoughts went through my head, because Sebastian chuckled. The cat on his shoulder still stared at me with an intense glare. But as I looked into those eyes, I realized that the red colour of those eyes didn't scare or bother me anymore, as if I had accepted the fact that creatures such as demons existed.

Oh, boy. I was slowly going cuckoo myself, wasn't I?


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm going to a concert today! ONE OK ROCK (Japanese rock band, if you don't know them, look them up, there awesome) is in Amsterdam, so of course I'm going. Here's chapter thirteen, hope you'll like it! Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, it really makes me happy!**

**This is a bit short, so sorry about that! And again sorry for the typos! :s**

**Oh, and I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but my OC is all mine.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 13**

I wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow Sebastian managed to carry me to the kitchen and put me on the kitchen table as he started to prepare breakfast.

'I don't get it. What happened with our 'finished business'?' I asked confused while he got some eggs out of the fridge.

'Hmm,' Sebastian said. 'I thought you would like to eat something first.'

I laughed, but it sounded forced and nervous. 'You know me too well,' I said, though the moment I said it I regretted it.

'I know,' he said, not even trying to deny the fact that he knew how perfect he was. 'Pancakes?'

I didn't know why he had to ask that. 'Pancakes,' I confirmed.

Sebastian's pancakes were the most delicious pancakes on earth. Well, at least I thought so. I only ever tasted pancakes I made myself, so I didn't really have much to compare it with.

I ate two pancakes while sitting on the table, my legs over the edge of the table while I swung them up and down. When I gave the empty plate to Sebastian, he immediately put it away and approached me, trapping me by putting his hands on each side of my body. 'Well then,' he said. 'Time for you to open up.'

'Yeah, about that,' I said hesitant, 'I still have no clue how to do that.' And I rather don't find out how. Whatever I did that kept him out, it was my advantage and I'd rather not give that up.

Sebastian guessed my thoughts. 'But you didn't even try, because you like it,' he said.

'Well, of course. I don't think anyone wants to expose themselves to you,' I said, again trying to distract him.

He chuckled. 'I think the number of people who would do that would surprise you.'

'Mei-Rin,' I immediately said. 'She's obviously attracted to you.'

He chuckled again, but didn't come closer, which confused me. Usually he would have already bend over to breath in my ear or neck, to confuse me more than I already was in his presence. 'Mei-Rin has never been a mystery to me,' Sebastian said. 'That's one of the reasons I choose her.'

'_You _choose her?' I sighed and rolled my eyes. 'I should have known. You are the one who employed the three idiots.'

'Yes,' he said, smiling amused. 'They may be poor at the jobs they do, but when the house is under attack they can be very useful.'

'Oh,' I said, suddenly getting it. 'They're not just idiots. They're special too.' I frowned. 'But they aren't demons, right?'

Sebastian's smile disappeared. 'No. Everything they are is the fault of humans.' Then he cursed softly. 'You distract me,' he said, sounding pissed, but also a bit impressed.

'Jup,' I said, smiling a devious smile.

'Hmm, you're learning,' he said. 'But right now, it's annoying.'

'Sorry sorry sorry,' I said, because I didn't want to make him angry. 'But this feels really awkward.'

The smile was back on his face. 'Should I comfort you, then?' he said, finally leaning over to drive me crazy.

His gloved hands didn't touch me, but his lips touched my cheek. 'Better?' he said against my skin.

'No,' I said, trying to keep my breath under control. 'Definitely not.'

'Hmm,' he murmured, putting on hand over my head and one around my waist, pulling me into a strange hug. 'Better?' he asked, but his voice didn't sound stable either, as if he was thinking about something else.

'Nope,' I said against his jacket, trying to not smell the familiar smell of his clothes and skin.

He chuckled. 'I don't believe you,' he said, slowly stroking my hair.

It was such a father-like, calming gesture that I felt my eyes close on its own. 'Hmm,' was the only thing I said, not sure what he'd said.

'So pure,' he murmured softly, so soft that I thought he wasn't talking to me. 'So soft. So easy broken. Clarissa,' he said, his mouth somewhere above my head. 'Let me in.'

The moment he said those words I let go of my fear and distrust and it felt like falling asleep. As if I was sinking into a deep sleep. But I could feel that Sebastian had me in his grip, refusing to let me go.

'_Got you_,' he said, his voice suddenly cold and hungry.

I had to grab his arms to prevent from falling backwards on the table and I thought for a moment that Sebastian would let me go, but he didn't.

Slowly I could feel my confusing emotions leaving my head and heart. All that was left was emptiness. I didn't feel confused and I didn't felt influenced by Sebastian's presence. I was just me and nothing else. And it felt really lonely in my head.

Then the pressure in my head was gone and I knew that I could pull my walls back up. The moment I did I thought Sebastian would release me, but he didn't.

I gave him a small pat on the shoulder, but he didn't move. 'Sebas-'

'Don't,' he said and the way he said it scared me. He sounded as if he was a tiger and if I moved, he would eat me. So I just froze and waited until he release me and looked at me with a look that I didn't understand.

'We are never doing this again,' he told me.

'Er, okay? It wasn't my idea, remember?' I said, not understanding his sudden stern and cold look.

He sighed and looked at the table as if he wanted to kick the thing. 'Do you have any idea what you just did, Clarissa?!'

'Er, I thought I did, but you're reaction gives me the feeling that I didn't…' I jumped of the table, didn't want to stay there any longer.

He cursed again, obviously trying to regain his calm and cool state. 'You just almost willingly gave your soul away. And if I had been anyone else, I would have grabbed the opportunity. I would have killed you.'

I wasn't sure what to say. But when I said something, I was almost certain it was the wrong thing to say. 'Then why didn't you?'

'I don't know!' he said and the moment he said that I realized that _that _was the thing that had upset him. The fact that he could have had my soul, that he could have killed me, but that he hadn't. _That _was the thing that had messed him up.

I wasn't sure what to say. Understanding him and helping him were two different things. And I didn't think I could do either of those two completely. 'I'm sorry,' I said. 'It won't happen again,' I assured him.

I wasn't sure if it were my words or his own thoughts, but suddenly he was calm and composed again. 'No, it won't,' he said politely. 'Because the next time something like this happened, I _will _kill you.'

And I believed him.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Madame Red came with a truck as big as a house to the mansion that evening. She hugged me to death, promised me a hundred time that she would take excellent care of me while Sebastian was loading the truck with my stuff. I felt really weird to leave the mansion after living there so short. No one very moved after two weeks of living somewhere.

Sebastian didn't really say goodbye, but Ciel and the house staff did. Finnian even gave me flowers from the garden, which resulted in Ciel sighing. Apparently those flowers weren't meant to be given to someone.

It was right there and then that I saw the cat with the red eyes again. He was sitting on the side of the stairs in the garden, staring at me with his red eyes glowing. And since that cat reminded me of Sebastian, I briefly waved at the cat, so that I had the feeling that at least I had said goodbye to Sebastian.

But the cat didn't want the say goodbye to me. He jumped of the stairs and walked towards me, following me with every step I took as I walked towards the truck. It was nice to be followed, it made me feel less lonely since Ciel and the house staff had said their goodbyes inside the house.

But when I got into the truck, the cat didn't follow me anymore. And I didn't blame him. I was leaving, after all. And it seemed that no one cared enough to follow me to wherever I was going.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Madame Red's house, or Anne's house, since she asked to call her 'Anne', was smaller than Ciel's house, but it was still beautiful and spacious and in the centre of London. The room she had for me was only one room, but I did have my own bathroom at the end of the corridor. She slept downstairs, so I basically had a floor of my own, unless she had to work here, cause her office was upstairs as well as her music room, cause apparently she played piano.

In this room I had a balcony and a lot of candles. I wasn't sure why there were to many candles, but on every flat surface other than the ground a candle was placed.

I opened the window to the balcony and stood there, watching the city as the wind messed up my hair. I sighed as the cold made me shiver, embracing the harshness of the world for once.

And then the cat appeared.

At first I was convinced it was a different cat sitting on the side of the balcony, but when the cat looked at me it had the same red eyes. 'You're not stalking me, aren't you?' I asked, trying to convince myself that this wasn't the same cat, that this was just a coincidence.

But then the cat closed his eyes for a moment and I took that as a 'yes'. 'Great,' I said, officially losing my mind. 'Sebastian is sending a stalker cat. How great. And I thought I was finally free.' But it sounded like a lie. And it kind of was.

Being a girl who had never gotten any attention from no one, I had kind of liked the attention Sebastian had always given me. As if he was interested in my thoughts and cared enough to listen. It was foolish of me to think like that and I knew that, but I still did. Because it was my only happiness.

'You don't say anything, do you?' I asked the cat, petting his head while he started to purr like an idiot.

'Maybe I shouldn't say anything, too,' I said, 'then no one would hear me and I would become invisible.'

When the cat didn't react, I didn't react either. So I just pet the cat while staring at the city, trying to understand why I still cared at all.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

It took three days for Ciel to come and find me during lunch. I hadn't had any contact with him since I moved out and hadn't intend to do so, but when he came to sit at my empty table during lunch, I felt a little bit better. But only for a second.

'I need your help for a case,' was the first thing he told me.

'Not interested,' I said, almost angry because he dared to ask.

'Is this how you thank the boy who has saved you and given you a new home?' he asked me.

'Yes,' I said, looking up at him with the most unkind expression that I could pull. 'Does that bother you?' I asked, copying the words he'd said to me after he and I had been kidnapped.

'Yes, it does,' he said, clearly not getting that I was copying him.

I looked down at my sandwich again and said: 'Well, that's a shame, considering that it is in fact none of your business.'

I could just feel Ciel's eyes narrowing as he got the clue. 'I am very sorry, but this is a case of national importance.' He almost threw the paper in my face. 'There's a serial killer in London and his target are girls. We need you to be the bait.'

I looked at the article for a few seconds and then handed the paper back to him. 'Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not doing it.'

'National importance,' Ciel repeated, getting annoyed.

'I don't care,' I let him known. 'You can dress up as a girl and do it yourself.' Not that he would agree with that idea, but I wasn't going to help him. I was done with helping him for nothing in return. I would only help a friend if he acted like one, which he clearly didn't.

'Alright, fine,' Ciel said, standing up from the table. 'I will.' And he sounded so serious that I believed him.

Wait, he was actually going to dress up as a girl?

Dang it, I really want to see that.

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><p>XxX<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Wait, it's Monday and I'm updating?! How odd! The plan was actually to update Sunday, but I was way too tired (and emotional damaged because of the fact that I have to wait another year for ONE OK ROCK to come back, sad, sad, sad) for that, so that didn't happen. So I decided to update today.**

**wolf-akuma:** **Thank you so much! I wasn't really happy with the previous two chapters, but I'm glad you liked it! Hearing that really makes me happy.**

**This chapter is longer, because the pervious chapters have been quite short, so this one is nice and long!**

**So we haven't followed the anime for a while… So that's happening now!... a bit. Because Clarissa is going to interfere. A lot.**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter and remember: I own my OC, but not Kuroshitsuji!**

**BTW, no I won't do a Christmas chapter. Sorry if it makes you sad, but it just doesn't fit in the story at the moment and I don't want to make some weird changes to make it fit.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 14**

Saturday was the first day in a while that I stayed inside and just read a book. I didn't even talk to anyone. How great was that?

Madame Red had to work in the hospital until late that evening and Grell went out a couple hours ago to go to the grocery store to buy everything for the weekend. I really didn't understand that Anne trusted that guy alone in a grocery store, but she apparently did. Maybe he should take some lessons from Sebastian in how to be a good butler. The only skill he got down was cooking, but he then managed to spill almost everything on the ground. But helping him cook this past week had been sort of fun, even though I thought the guy was a bit too loud and annoying.

It was half past twelve when I heard the door open and close and I went downstairs thinking it was Grell who came back from the grocery store. Which would have been nice, since I was starving and the house didn't have much food left.

But it wasn't _only _Grell who stood in the entrance hall when I walked towards the stairs, where there was a part that gave you the advantage to peek at the people who stood in the entrance hall before walking downstairs. The stairs was on the right side of the room and the living room at the left, so the aim of the guests was the other side anyway.

'Ciel?' I said, not even bothering to sound polite. 'Are you here to drag me into some sort of mission? Because I already declined and you can't-'

Ciel put his hand up without even looking at me, giving me the sigh to shut up. 'Please, Clarissa, my world doesn't revolve round you. I'm here for my aunt.'

Sebastian smirked.

'Oh,' I said, not sure what to say. Of course his world didn't revolve around me. 'But she's worki-'

He interrupted me again. 'I know she is working, that's why I came here early so that Sebastian can prepare lunch while we wait for her to return. I don't want to eat anything that disgrace gives me,' he said, looking over at Grell, who was shaking with the bags from the store in his hands. I really hoped that he didn't have eggs in there, because if this went on, he was going to drop them.

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Ciel sat at the head side of the table, staring at Madame Red, who was sitting at the other side. I was sitting in the middle, wondering why the hell we were sitting so far away when there were only four of us. Yes, I said four. Apparently Lau was invited to the lunch-party too. He was sitting in front of me, looking at his tea as if that was the most interesting thing in the room at the moment. I was happy that he didn't bring the girl from the time before, because I really wouldn't know where to look if she had been sitting on his lap right now.

The thing that suddenly caught my interest was the way Ciel dressed. I had only seen him in his school uniform or the suit that he'd worn at home, but this was out of this world. He wore blue, but that wasn't the strange thing. The strange thing was that he was dressed like he was a noble's son from the Victorian Period. The only reason I knew how people dressed those days was because I had done a paper about _Jack the Ripper _in Middle School. And because I watch _way _too many movies. That didn't help either.

Looking as intensely at Ciel as I'd never had before, I also noticed that he was wearing two rings, one on his left thumb – an silver piece that hold an emerald-cut deep blue stone – and the other on his right hand, a gold ring. I could have said a lot of things at that moment but the only thing I could come up with was: 'Ciel, really, we need to get you some decent clothes soon. You look like you're going to a dress up party. And not in a good way.'

Sebastian chuckled, Madame Red and Lau just straight out laughed. Ciel frowned, but then sighed and said: 'I do not particular care about the way I look.'

I chuckled, holding in another comment such as: 'I figured that out the moment I saw you wearing an leather eye-patch. What are you, a pirate?' I had no idea how I managed to keep such a comment in my head and not blur it out, but I was happy that I managed to do so.

Ciel took his tea cup, took a sip and said: 'Another prostitute was murdered in Whitechapel yesterday.' He sounded formal.

I had heard Madame Red talk about the accident before, but I never really gave it much thought. Since Ciel was apparently involved in this case in some kind of way, I started to regret that I didn't. I didn't like not knowing something while everyone else seems to know.

'These aren't ordinary murders,' he went on. _Geez, when _were _they? _I had never heard of an _ordinary murder._ 'They're bizarre… No, you could fairly call them aberrant.'

_Aberrant? Which fourteen year old kid says that?_

Lau and Madame Red had been drinking tea peacefully until this point of the conversation, but when Sebastian started to talk, Madame Red let her tea cup stop before bringing it to her lips, looking at him with a strange look in her eyes. Grell, who was standing behind her like Sebastian was standing behind Ciel, looked instantly sad. As if he had known every single one of the murdered women.

'A very special blade was used on the most recent victim, Mary Ann Nicholas,' Sebastian spoke and I had to do my best not to melt when I finally heard his voice after so long. Although I would never admit it out loud, I had missed that perfect deep and calming voice. The only problem was that this voice wasn't saying really calming words at the moment. 'She was torn apart beyond all recognition.'

The only ones who seemed to be okay with this topic were Lau and Ciel. Lau just kept drinking tea and Ciel was eating his pie. I hadn't even touched my lunch nor my tea. I had lost my appetite the moment Ciel and Sebastian had come into the picture.

Ciel took another fork of pie and stuck it in his mouth. He spoke after swallowing the bite. 'Scotland Yard and the press call this guy: _Jack the Copycat, _because he seems like a copycat of Jack the Ripper.'

Jack the Ripper? At least that was something I knew about, which was great, since I hated to be in the dark.

Even Lau stopped drinking his tea now. '_Jack the Copycat, _eh?' he said, more in a thinking sort of way than an asking sort of way.

'So I decided to take a look at the case from within London,' Ciel said, 'which is the reason I'm here. I cannot investigate the case when I'm not in the city that the crimes are taken place.'

It was silent in the room. Then, suddenly, Lau laughed softly. 'Do you have the guts to see the scene of those crimes?' he asked, making me frown. He _did _have a point. Ciel was only young. Earl or not, Queen's secret guard dog or not, seeing such a horrible thing could scar him. Then again, he'd seemed totally fine when he saw he corpse of the villager back in Barrymore. Maybe he'd already seen so many blood that he could handle a bit more of it. I knew it was the case with me.

'Ciel isn't just a kid,' I said, surprising myself. 'His eyes, or better to say 'eye', may be young, but it has seen much more than the average middle-aged men have seen these days.'

I was surprised that no one really said anything to nullify my statement, but Ciel did have a reaction on his own. 'I came here to dispel her worries. Don't ask foolish questions.'

The way Sebastian reacted made my blood turn into ice. He just looked at Ciel with that look, that heartless look that seemed so devilish that no one would have trouble believing what he is when they saw that face.

Lau didn't notice it. But he did notice the cold, emotionless look that Ciel had. 'Very nice, I like the look in your _eye._'

Apparently the heavy conversation was done, because Madame Red had continued sipping tea and no one said anything important after that.

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After lunch, Sebastian and Ciel went out to take a look at the crime scene, and since Madame Red, Grell and Lau were going as well, I was allowed to come along.

The street, or rather the ally, was block with police tape and police cars were blocking the main street. A few people were standing around the police tape, trying to see anything, a glimpse of the corpse maybe. I, Madame Red, Grell and Lau didn't step any further than the tape, but Ciel and Sebastian didn't seem to care. Ciel ducked under the tape and walked up to the closest police man, who looked more like an investigator since he wasn't wearing a uniform. The man seemed nice and even smiled while he talked to Ciel about something I couldn't hear. I could see that Ciel wasn't looking friendly at the man, though.

Something Ciel said obviously upset the man, because the smile disappeared and he shouted in a nervous and surprised manor, as if he was supposed to act surprised but didn't have any idea how to do that. 'Corpse? Wha-what are you talking about-'

'Abberline!' another police-man asked, making me assume that the other guy's name was Abberline. The second guy looked way less nice and had glasses that looked way too old. What the men were saying next was again something I couldn't hear and I wished that I had the guts to also ignore the police tape and join them, but I didn't want to make Ciel angry. Not because angry Ciel was scary, which he was, but not enough to scare me away, but mostly because I was scared that my punishment would somehow involve Sebastian.

The conversation didn't last long. Ciel and Sebastian joined us not long after that, but walked away from the scene was if they had a clear direction.

'What are you going to do?' Anne asked as we walked through the streets. She was walking next to Ciel and Sebastian at the other side of him, leaving me, Grell and Lau to walk behind them and trying to hear Ciel's soft and almost monotone voice. 'The best thing would be to visit him,' he answered, as if that was fairly obvious.

I sighed, hated this dramatic secrecy and said: 'Earl Phamtohive! You don't mean-' I stopped dramatically mid-sentence and put my hand against my forehead, trying to be overdramatic as well as sarcastic.

The only problem was that Ciel couldn't care less about my act. 'Indeed I do,' he said, though I think he kind of said that to irritate me.

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'So, what are we doing here?' I asked as I read the sigh above the small building. _Undertaker. _What the hell? Next to the door was standing an old-looking coffin with a cross engraved in it. 'Are we going to choose a coffin for the victim?' I asked, not understanding this at all.

'No,' Sebastian said, the only one caring enough to give an answer. 'This is a funeral parlor run by an acquaintance of the Young Master's.'

'Okay, I had guessed the funeral parlor thing, the coffin kind of gave it away, but if we aren't here for a coffin then why are we here?'

This was a question that even Sebastian didn't care to answer as we walked into the dark and quite frankly smelly shop. Dust and cobwebs were everywhere and I had to restrain myself from putting a hand in front of my nose and mouth because I didn't want to seem impolite, but I also didn't want to smell that strange smell and to get dust in my nose, because my sneezes were about the most ungraceful thing on the earth.

Ciel walked farther into the shop while saying: 'Are you here, Undertaker?'

Wait, _Undertaker _was literally the guy's name? How come I'd missed all those weirdoes until now?

The room was filled with coffins and for some reason I got the feeling that they were filled. The creepy, dusty cases with all sorts of fluids in them made this whole scene creepier, and the table with the white, ghost like cloth and the mirror on top of it didn't help either. And I hadn't even said anything about the dusty human-doll in the corner. You know, those dolls that you have in biology classrooms, the ones where you can take all the organs out.

To top this all of, the room was suddenly filled with creepy laughter and if I hadn't grow up in a town that was creepy as fuck, I would have screamed. Or cried. Or both.

Then the voice spoke. 'I thought you would drop by,' it said, but I had absolutely no idea where it was coming from. Then something creaked, like footsteps on an old, wooden staircase. But I quickly noticed that that wasn't it. It was one of the coffins that was slowly pushed open.

'Welcome, Lord,' the voice said, revealing the one the voice belonged to.

When I looked around I saw Lau, Grell and Madame Red close to the door, looking terrified at the man with the long, grey hair and it was covering his eyes, which made me wonder about how he was able to see. The man had extensive black fingernails and a pretty serious scar on his face, that looked like it had been from a fatal injury. His robe was black and he was wearing a high top had, a grey scarf strapped across his chest and knotted by the hips. Everything about this man screamed 'odd'. But I wasn't scared. Not like Lau, Madame Red and Grell, in any case.

The funniest thing was the fact that his voice while looking at the happy smile on his face was rather funny, not scary. I actually seemed kind of adorable in that coffin of his. 'Is today the day you'll condescend to enter one of my special coffins?' he asked Ciel, and I felt like I could almost see his eyes sparkle behind his hair.

Ciel sounded rather tired, as if he'd been in this situation way too much. 'Certainly not. Today I-'

The grey haired guy popped out of his coffin to cover Ciel's mouth with his incredible pale hand. 'You don't have to tell me. I know,' he said and I really didn't know what it was, but something about his voice was incredible funny. Or maybe it was the situation in combination with his voice. I wasn't sure. 'That wasn't the kind of customer fit for respectable people. I'll have you know, I made her beautiful.' I wasn't sure what that meant.

Then I caught Sebastian looking at me. He looked at me from head to toe and I could just see in his eyes that he was wondering why the hell I wasn't afraid of this guy. That or I was just reading too much into it and he wasn't just thinking how ridiculous I looked in my dark blue dress and black trainees. But then again, his master was dressed way worse today. Did I mention that he wore a Victorian-style coat as well? And a top hat. A. Top. Hat. Maybe he was trying to seem longer, but it just looked ridiculous.

'I want to hear about it,' Ciel said, not reacting to the man's weirdness at all.

Lau, who had gotten over the shock by now, just as Madame Red and Grell had (though Grell still looked scared to death), opened his mouth. 'Ah, I see, so the funeral parlor is your cover business. So, how much for the information?'

The man pulled the most innocent little face before almost bumping into Lau. 'I have no desire for any if the Queen's coins!' he said, almost as if he was cheerleading or something. Then he turned to look at Ciel and almost bumped into him, speaking with him while I could almost _see _the guys breath on Ciel's face. 'Come on, Earl, give it to me! Give me prime laughter! Do that and I'll tell you anything.'

From all the things I had heard once we walked into this shop, this had been the most hilarious thing to be said and I just burst out laughing.

And my laugh is the worst. I sounded like a suffocating horse. Or even worse. But the moment I began to laugh, I just couldn't stop. There weren't many moments where I could have or when I wanted to and right now, my low amount of laughing seemed to have gotten to me.

Apparently my laugh sounded so utterly ridiculous that even Ciel chuckled. But the man with the grey hair didn't just chuckle, he also burst out laughing. 'What was that?' he asked. 'That's the kind of laughter that could make anyone laugh! Ahahaha, I've seen my Utopia!' he said, now placing his face in my business. And with business, I meant _my _face. 'You are a true precious, my dear. Told I maybe hire you as a part-timer or-'

Ciel cleared his throat. 'I'm sorry, but I do believe that you said you would tell us everything.'

'Yes, yes!' he said, finally letting go of my hands that he had grabbed while breathing his breath in my face.

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I wasn't sure why a guy that didn't even have tea cups had tea in his parlor, but he had. This man – who everyman called 'the Undertaker' so I guess I have to call him that as well, even though it doesn't really sound like a real name – pour the tea into some of his empty bottles, but I wasn't even going to touch mine. No way in hell.

All the none-butlers had taken place on the coffins that were lying on the ground. I checked the one I was sitting on before I sat down, because I didn't want to sit on a coffin with a corpse in it.

'These days I often get costumers who are incomplete,' the Undertaker told us. He had the creepy organ-human-doll in his hands and was petting it like it was his dog.

'Incomplete?' Sebastian asked, asking for more explanation.

'Yes, incomplete… The wombs are missing,' the Undertaker answered while still petting the doll. 'Though the killer makes quite violent splatter, the wombs themselves are neatly cut out.'

Sebastian was again the one to react. The rest of us were way to shocked to speak. 'It was done on a public road, even if it was not a high-traffic one wouldn't such an excision have been difficult for an amateur, particularly in the middle of the night.'

My mind somehow wasn't shocked enough to refrain itself from making snarky comments. _Way to go, Sherlock Holmes. Does Sebastian like to play detective all of the sudden?_

The Undertaker stood up from his coffin and set the doll back to his place. 'You're a sharp one, butler. That was my opinion as well.' He walked over to Ciel, putting a hand softly against his throat. 'First, the Copycat slashes their throats with a sharp hand weapon,' his other hand went towards Ciel's belly, 'then cuts this part open and takes what's precious to them.'

With the hand that wasn't at Ciel's belly, the Undertaker poked Ciel in his cheek before releasing him from his grip. As the stood up again, not really straight, but I started to think that his guy always walked like _Quasimodo_ from _the Hunchback of Notre Dame_. 'I'm sure there will be more victims. People like that won't stop until someone stops them. Can _you _do it, oh villainous noble Lord Phantomhive?'

The only emotion that Ciel had on his face was indifference. And I wasn't even sure if that was an emotion or not. 'On the honour of my family crest,' he said, 'I eliminate anyone who defiles the Queen's garden, without exception and by any means necessary.'

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**So that was chapter fourteen! I loved writing the scenes with the Undertaker, I just think that guy is freaking adorable. XD**

**I probably won't post anything until Friday and I'm not sure if I will write during Christmas Break, so you'll have to wait and see (sorry)! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Wait, uploading AGAIN?! Yes, I wrote another chapter yesterday right after fourteen and wanted to upload it Friday or something, but I just thought 'why not upload it now?' I'll try to write a lot during break so that even if I don't have time, I can at least upload a new chapter once a week. Or twice a week. Or whatever.**

**Thanks everyone for reviewing! I love reading them but I do not always know a good way to answer them, so sorry if I don't. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate it!**

**And don't worry, we get to see Ciel in a dress soon enough!**

**justaislinn****: Yeah, I sometimes forget, too, actually. I keep looking for creative ways to bring in cellphones and other modern day stuff, but it's just not that necessary. Though I am planning something funny which involves Sebastian and modern day cooking utensils, so that should be interesting.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do hope that you'll like this chapter!**

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**Chapter 15**

When we got into the limousine, I didn't go and sit with Madame Red, Ciel and Lau. I waited until Sebastian had taken place in the driver's seat and then opened the door at the other side, climbing in the seat next to him.

The look on his face was priceless. He looked at me as if I was glowing and sparkling like a disco bowl. 'Yo,' I said, giving him an amused little smile.

He didn't really respond to that, but he did start the car without asking me to go and sit with the others.

'So,' I said politely, since I'd already decided that I was going to handle him with care and kindness. Who words that weren't really my specialty, but that didn't mean that I wouldn't try. 'Did I miss the action?' When Sebastian frowned at me, I clarified; 'Ciel dressing like a girl, I mean.'

A smile crossed the demon's face. 'No, no you didn't.'

I sighed relieved, making Sebastian chuckled. 'So when is that going to happen?'

Sebastian clearly got that I was acting nice and played along with it. 'Tonight, if he doesn't recruit you beforehand.'

'As if,' I said as the car stopped because we were at a red traffic light. 'Why doesn't he ask Madame Red? I won't do it. Certainly not.'

Sebastian shook his head as the light turned green and began to drive away from Piccadilly Circus. 'Angelina Dalles can't be our bait because she's lacking the thing that the Copycat attracts to the women.' His eyes shone in the soft like of the sun behind the clouds. 'A womb.'

I frowned. 'She doesn't have one?' I asked, surprised by this fact. I knew that Anne didn't have children, but I never would have guessed that _that _had been the reason.

'Not anymore, no,' Sebastian answered. 'Certain parts of that organ needed removal after a tragic car-incident that happened to her while pregnant.'

This information wasn't something I'd expected when I sat down next to Sebastian. 'That's…' I wasn't sure what to say. 'That's so sad.'

'It was a regrettable incident,' Sebastian agreed. 'However, it happened before I met Young Master, so I do not know much about it.'

I blinked the sudden tears in my eyes away and decided to change the topic. 'What's going to happen tonight?' I asked.

The smile was back on Sebastian's face now. 'The party of a well-known pop artist.'

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'Sebastian managed to narrow it down to just one suspect in just one day?' Madame Red asked as she and Ciel discussed the matter while drinking tea… again. I mean, yeah, I know we're English, but no one really drinks _that _much tea in a day, right? 'Are you really just a butler?' she asked, looking at Sebastian instead of Ciel now. 'Are you sure you're not a military intelligence officer?'

The smile on Sebastian's face told me he was going to make a hell-pun again. 'No, I am merely one hell of a butler.'

Argh, didn't he know any other puns than that one?

Ciel cleared his throat, making him the centre of attention again. 'Madame Red, knowing your influences in the high society of London, not only the nobles but also the common wealth, I need to ask a favour of you.'

Madame Red looked confused now, as if she had no idea what Ciel could ever want from her. Neither did I, to be honest. 'Of course, Ciel! What can I do for you?'

Ciel closed his eyes while he said: 'Aleister Chamber is going to have a party tonight and I need at least two invitations for that event.'

Madame Red almost chocked in her tea, Lau almost dropped his tea cup and I almost dropped my scone. 'Aleister Chamber?' I repeated, guessing that _that _had been the pop artist that Sebastian had told me about in the limousine. 'But he's a celebrity! You'll never be able to reach him! He's like a _God!_' And yes, I did own one of his cd's. Because even though I might be a bit different than the average girl in high school, I was _still _a girl. And girls _loved _Aleister Chamber.

Ciel opened his eye again. 'That's why I'm asking Madame Red's assistance. I know that you were the doctor who was appointed to his father when he got sick, so I'm sure that there's something you can do, aunt.'

Madame Red had gotten over the shock, but still looked complete surprised about the fact that the main suspect was Aleister Chamber. 'I-I'll have to make some phone calls,' she told him. After that she got up, followed by Grell.

I sighed there was no way this was going to work.

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Why the hell did it work?

Not only did Madame Red manage to get two tickets for Ciel and Sebastian, but she also got one for me, Grell (who only came along to drive us to the party, not to come along), Lau and herself.

As we were driving towards his house – Aleister Chamber's house! – Sebastian gave us a quick summary as of why Aleister was the main suspect while I was trying to avoid looking at Ciel, since he was wearing a pink dress that looked awfully fluffy and girly. 'Aleister Chamber graduated from medical school, but has not gone into practice. Instead, he choose to partake in a television show, which he won. After that he got offered a contract and he has been performing and singing ever since. He's thrown several parties at home, however, people say he simultaneously hold secret parties that only his intimates may attend.'

'I've heard that he's into black magic and that sort of thing,' Madame Red added, suddenly just as convinced as Ciel and Sebastian that Aleister was the one we were after. I wasn't really sure, though. I thought that Aleister had been in trouble for drugs-use a lot of times and I had seen his hands shake in television. Those hands couldn't skilfully cut anything out, certainly not a woman's womb.

Lau, who had put on a suit for the party, said: 'So you suspect that at these underground parties they perform rituals and sacrifice prostitutes?'

Ciel didn't confirm this, but he also didn't deny it. 'This is the last party before his next big World Tour,' he said as I felt the car coming to a halt. 'This is our last chance.'

As we got out of the car I started laughing. 'I'm very sorry, I just think Ciel looks absolutely horrible,' I told them. Ciel wore a light pink dress, that looked sort of like a ball gown, but for little girls. The pink hat with the roses on top of his hat didn't make it any better. And the wig he was wearing, had made it look like he had long, dark hair and covered his right eye, topped it off as utterly ridiculous. And I hadn't even said anything about the black gloves yet.

But even though the outfit was a bit too over the top, Ciel did look like a girl, and a cute one too.

I wore a dress that Madame Red had lent me. It was, of course, a red dress, but a lighter one then the one I wore back at the Phantomhive Mansion. This one was a brighter shade of red and there were black roses as a pattern on the cloth, making it look like a dress something an elegant vampire in an old horror movie would wear. I, too, wore black gloves.

'So, Ciel and Clarissa are my nieces who are visiting from the countryside,' Madame Red said as we walked towards the entrance of the house. 'And Sebastian will play Ciel's tutor.'

It _did _fit the way he looked right now. He had put on glasses, that strangely enough didn't make him look less hot, and a brown suit that just screamed 'teacher!'.

Ciel didn't look quite happy though. 'Why do I have to play the niece?' he mumbled grumpy.

'Because I refuse to seduce a celebrity so that you can lock him up in prison,' I answered, even though I knew that he hadn't ask the question to get an answer.

Madame Red leaned forward to Ciel. 'You can't let anyone figure out that you're a Phantomhive, it would disgrace your family if someone figured out that the family's head was dressed like this,' she said, just loud enough for me to hear. 'And, please, act innocent, I heard that Aleister likes that type of girl.'

Ciel still looked like he wanted to run away. It was a very entertaining face to watch.

It was clear that Sebastian thought so too. 'Didn't you say you would catch this criminal 'by any means necessary'?'

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The party was huge. I had no idea how Ciel was ever going to find and seduce the guy, because I doubted that he even _was _here. I mean, this house was gigantic and it was full of people wearing ridiculous over the top outfits.

Sebastian was walking between me and Ciel as we walked through the seemingly endless crowd of people. 'Frist we must find Aleister,' Sebastian said, as if that would be easy.

Ciel didn't appear to be listening to him. 'I really hope Elizabeth will never see me in an outfit like this…' he mumbled.

I hold a laugh. True, she would freak if she saw her true love dressing all cute and girly. Maybe she would even faint. But then I pulled a face when I heard a way to familiar voice coming through my ears.

'Oh, that dress is so cute!'

Me, Sebastian and Ciel froze instantly. Immediately turning around as soon as we were over the shock. _Speak of the devil. _

There, talking with to beautiful women, was Elizabeth.

_Oh crap._

It might have been funny when Ciel had said it, but I really did not want to let Elizabeth see me either. She would probably be said that I didn't wear the dress she gave me. 'There are so many lovely dresses here! How cute!' Elizabeth said and I noticed that she too was wearing red today.

We turned around again, making sure that she hadn't seen us. 'Sebast-' Ciel began and I could hear the panic in his voice.

'Young Maste- Mistress, please calm down,' he said, giving me a look that showed me that he wasn't sure how to handle this situation either.

Then the voice we'd all heard was directed towards us. 'Oh my!' Elizabeth said. 'That girl's dress is absolutely adorable!' I was hundred percent sure she was talking about Ciel's dress.

Sebastian grabbed my arm and Ciel's and tried to smuggle us away from Elizabeth, making us disappear in the crowd. This time the crowd was our advantage, because it wasn't long until Elizabeth lost us.

Sebastian sighed. 'This isn't good. I had no idea Lady Elizabeth would be here…'

Ciel still looked panicked. 'If anyone saw the head of the Phantomhive family dressed like this,' he started, making me feel sorry for the guy.

'That would stain the Phantomhives for generations,' Sebastian said, though I was not sure why. If he had a saying in it, the Phantomhive family wouldn't even have a next generation. Ciel would be dead before he could even think about having children.

I sighed, rolled my eyes and said. 'Go and change. I'll go and seduce mister Chamber,' I said as I tried to understand what I'd just said.

Ciel looked at me with a surprised look, but – of course – didn't protest. 'Sebastian, I order you to stay close to her and protect her if necessary. Let no one touch her in any harmful way, understood?'

'Yes, my Lady,' he said, still teasing his master.

I was kind of surprised that Ciel gave Sebastian orders to protect me. This was once again prove that Ciel wasn't that bad. He was way kinder then he thought he was and he cared way more than he thought. Maybe I should be nicer to him in the future.

Ciel disappeared in the crowd, aiming for the exit as Sebastian looked at me with a 'what now?' look in his eyes. 'Let's just join Madame Red and the others,' I suggested as he just kept looking at me like that.

Madame Red was enjoying herself just fine. She was sitting in a large, green chair and laughed while surrounded by a couple men. 'No need to stand on ceremony for me!' she said, swinging with her whine glass.

I pulled up an eyebrow. Seriously? No wonder that Madame Red also got an invitation for herself, she seemed to enjoy herself more than I probably would.

Suddenly, Sebastian grabbed my arm. 'This way, my Lady,' he said leading me to a less crowded place at the end of the room. There, in the corner, was a familiar face that was talking with a group of men, who all looked rather business like.

Aleister Chamber. The pop artist with the godlike features, the perfect blonde hair and the dreamy violet eyes.

I tried to stay calm, but my inner fangirl screamed inside me, trying to get out so she could jump the man. 'How am I supposed to get close to him? He's completely surrounded with-'

Sebastian pushed me over, making me trip and fall down. When I looked up with the intention to death-glare him, he was gone.

'My oh my,' a familiar voice said, closing in on me. A hand appeared in front of me, helping me get up. 'That looked like a nasty little fall,' Aleister Chamber sad, still holding my hand even though I was standing straight again. 'Are you okay, miss?'

I looked around and saw Sebastian leaning against the wall, quite a bit away from me. He looked at me, but I noticed that he didn't smile. He just stared.

I looked back at Aleister, realized that I was ignoring his question. 'Yes, I'm okay. Thank you for asking.' I had watched enough movies to know a little bit about seduction, but I felt like I had forgotten it all.

He smiled and brought my hand towards his lips, kissing my hand as if I was a princes. My inner fangirl almost fainted. 'And are you having fun?' he asked, my hand still close to his face. 'My dear lady?'

I managed to put a smile on my face. 'It's a wonderful party. I'm very impressed,' I said as he slowly let go of my hand. 'But it's even more wonderful now that I have the opportunity to talk to you, mister Chamber.'

'Oh?' he said, clearly fishing for more compliments.

I glanced over at Sebastian again and through some strange form of communication I managed to figure out what I was supposed to say now. 'I'm tired of eating and dancing. It seems that's all we do these days isn't it?' I said, trying to copy that high and mighty sort of tone that Ciel sometimes used.

The smile on Aleister's face widened and he came closer to me, putting an arm around my waist as he pulled me closer. 'What a pampered little princes you are, my dear lady.' The hand on my waist slowly started to travel down as he said: 'So you want something more amusing to do?'

Suddenly this guy grossed me out. Did he seriously think he could do that to me? Who did he think he is? My inner fangirl tried to change my mind, but I was already pissed. The thought of Sebastian and Ciel kept my rage in, though. I even managed to say another awful line of dialogue: 'Do you happen to know something more amusing, mister Chamber?'

How he released my waist, out only to cup my chin into his hand. 'But of course, my dear lady. And I'm willing to show you.'

I wasn't sure if this was going the way it was supposed to go or not. 'What is it?' I asked, cursing him and myself and Ciel and Madame Red and Sebastian and anyone who could have done this instead of me.

'Do you want to know?' he asked, making my life really difficult at the moment.

'Yes, I'm very interested,' I said, even though it felt like I'd said that more than enough already. I looked over at Sebastian again, only to find that he had disappeared. Where did he go?

Aleister turned my face back to him. 'What has gotten you so distracted?' he asked me.

I really wasn't sure what to do. 'I'm just so bored, mister Chamber, so bored. So… pretty please?' Ugh, I can't believe I just said that.

The smile on his face was now just made of arrogance. 'All right, my dear lady.' He grabbed my arm and leaded me out of the room, into a dark hallway that led to some stairs. At the end of the stairs was a door, that led to another dark room.

'Come in here,' Aleister said as he held the door open for me.

I stepped inside. The dark room let to another door and another room. As we entered the next room, Aleister smiled almost like how a child smiled when he got a new doll to play with and said: 'We're going to a very nice place, quite amusing.'

He closed the door behind me and the first thing I noticed was the strange, sweet smell.

_What the hell's up with this sweet smell?_

That was the last thing I thought before passing out.

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><p>XxX<p>

**And that was chapter fifteen, hoped you liked it!**

**Yeah, I made Aleister a pop star. I just thought that, in modern day setting, that would be a more fitting thing for him to be. Haha, I can see the concerts now. 'Did you all pay to come and see me? I WOULD TOO!'**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello, hello, hello everyone!**

**Sorry, I'm a bit too happy; too much sugar :)**

**And the reviews also make me so happy! I love hearing that you like it! (wow, that sounds like a really bad sentence…)**

**Here's chapter sixteen and I'm certain chapter seventeen will we up tomorrow, maybe even chapter eighteen if I keep writing and writing and writing…**

**I don't really know why, but I had a lot of trouble with writing this chapter. The hardest part about this story is to keep Sebastian truthful to his personality while also developing feeling for Clarissa. I can't even imagine Sebastian in love, let alone write him! So yeah, that was the hardest part.**

**Oh, and sorry for the typos, I'll just keep apologizing, because I just don't have the time to correct all of them! I usually write before I go to sleep and if I don't sleep enough, I can get really, ****_really, _****tired.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 16**

'Sebastian, where is Clarissa?' Ciel asked, dressed in his normal attire now.

'I promise you that she isn't being touched in any harmful way at the moment,' he answered, not looking his master in the eye.

'Sebastian?' Ciel asked, because the way his butler acted didn't seem natural.

That was the moment that Madame Red also noticed Clarissa' absence. 'Where is my cute niece?' she asked, looking at Grell as if he would know.

Which strangely enough he did. 'S-s-she followed a y-young m-man n-n-not t-to long ago,' he said with great difficulty.

Ciel turned back to his butler. 'And you didn't follow her?!' he asked, angry. 'Why didn't you obey my order?'

'You didn't force me to obey,' he said. 'And keeping her save would in no way help your safety. So I decided to let things unfold.'

Ciel was now drained with worry, but still trying to keep calm as the party was still busy. 'What are you talking about? Do you _want _her to die?'

The demon finally looked at his master. 'Yes,' he said and there was no doubt that he was speaking the truth.

'But… why?!' Ciel couldn't understand. Sebastian never acted like this. Sure, there were times Sebastian thought about killing the house staff or Grell for that matter, but he never actually put those thoughts into actions. What was wrong with him?

'Because she interests me,' he answered, looking at him with burning eyes. 'And that interest might make me lose my goal. She's a nuisance and it's best if she's gone.'

Ciel was starting to get mad. 'Gone? Sebastian, you don't get it do you? _You like her! _That doesn't mean that you have to kill her!'

'Yes, I believe it does,' Sebastian said. 'But I'm not killing her.' A smile lowly appeared on his face. 'Someone will do that for me.'

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_Clarissa's POV_

I woke up hearing the sound of a lot of people whispering to each other, as if I was at some sort of party. I realized that my hands were tight and that I was blindfolded. Great. I was tight up again. Hanging around Ciel had that influence on me.

Aleister's voice rose above the soft whispers. 'And now, what you've all been waiting for: tonight's crown jewel.'

I guess that with 'tonight's crown jewel' he meant me. Hmm, that was actually quite flattering.

I was still blindfolded, but now I could see light from under the blindfold, as if someone had opened the curtains in the room and sunlight was coming through.

Fascinated sounds were made as – supposing – I was revealed.

Aleister spoke on, which a ridiculous mysterious voice. 'You may enjoy her as a decoration, or make a pet of her. I imagine she'd even make an attractive part of a ceremony.'

No, 'she' most certainly would not. 'She' is going to go home and take a bath and a lot of chocolate to forget this every happened. Why wasn't Sebastian coming for her?

'Or if you can to sell her parts individually, that's up to you,' Aleister said, making me pull a rather unattractive face. No, no 'you' cannot sell 'her' parts individually. No, no, no, no, definitely not.

But something wasn't right. If this was the man we were after, why was the womb the only part of the women that was missing? That's pretty weird.

Suddenly, Madame Red's face flashed through my mind. Kind of strange that she – the doctor – was surprisingly save for the Copycat. Now that I thought about it… Grell always went to pick her up at the hospital around twelve 'o clock, but then they would arrive back home at the time I got up, which was around eight 'o clock. Where did they go, those eight hours between?

Oh. No. That was impossible.

As people started bidding on my, I started to panic. I felt that my blindfold was removed, but seeing the room full of masked people didn't help. I just wanted to escape. This may be illegal as well, but it was not the man we're after. Or the _wo_man we're after.

'Sebastian!' I screamed, making everyone in the audience look confused, asking each other who this 'Sebastian' was.

No answer.

What was happening? Where was he? Didn't Ciel order him to protect me?

Suddenly, Sebastian's words flashed trhough my mind, making me more and more scared every time I heard my brain repeat those words. _'I'm a demon, Clarissa. When will you get that? I couldn't care less about Ciel's life or anyone else's.'_

Oh no.

I was going to die, wasn't I?

'Sebastian!' I screamed again, but no one answered.

Then, suddenly, the light went out, followed with screams and shocks. I heard Aleister say: 'What's going on?' But I couldn't see anything.

I thought that this meant that Sebastian had come for me.

But he wasn't the one standing in the middle of the room when the lights went on again. The audience was laying on the ground, all unconscious. That part didn't surprise me. What did surprise me was the man dressed in white, who was looking at me as if I was his most precious possession. His face reminded me of Sebastian's, his features were flawless, but his hair was white as snow. His eyes had a familiar, purple colour.

'Good grief,' the man said. 'You're truly good for nothing but getting captured.' He laughed. 'You used to be such a helpless little worm before too.' He walked up to me, ignoring the only man left standing.

Aleister Chamber.

'I'm sorry,' I said as the man helped me out of the cage and cut the robes that tight me. 'Do I know you?'

A smile that reminded me so much of Sebastian's that they looked like twins appeared on the young man's face. 'Most certainly not, but our paths have crossed before. And will cross again.' He softly pet my head and again looked at me with those loving eyes. They made me feel very uncomfortable.

'Well then,' the man then said, sighing as he helped me stand up. 'We have to take care of this horrible case.' He pointed towards Aleister. 'You. Will. Be. Punished.'

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I wasn't sure how I got there, but the next thing I knew I was sitting in the police office, staring into friendly eyes, that looked like a mixture between blue and violet. 'Are you okay, miss? You seem rather in shock,' he said and I realized I had seen this man before. He was the police officer that Ciel had talked to on the streets.

I realized that I was wearing a shock blanket and that I had a cup of… coffee? in my hands, but I didn't remember how I got here, or what me and this man were talking about. 'I want to go home,' I told him, since that was the only thing that came to mind right now. Home, a bed to sleep in. But what I needed the most was the thing I was most scared to admit.

I needed a parent.

But I had nothing left.

Certainly not now I knew that Madame Red was probably the one responsible for those killings…

Oh no.

'I _need _to get to Ciel!' I screamed, letting the cup of coffee fall on the ground and throwing the blanket off me. 'You need to bring me to him!'

The man looked confused, but also out of options. 'I'm sorry, but I can't jus-'

'It should be fine, right?' a voice asked from behind me. When I turned around I saw the man dressed in white standing there, smiling a smile that no one could _not _fall for. Man, that guy was like a white Sebastian. 'Since I'm her legal guardian, I can take her there and watch over her.'

My legal guardian? Since when? But I was way too happy that I got what I wanted, so I didn't object.

The policeman started to sweat, still unsure on what to do. 'Er, I guess… I just don't…'

The man in white laughed. 'If you have anything else to ask, you can just call me, right? You have my number.' And then he grabbed me and pulled me with him, ignoring whatever the policeman as going to say.

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'So… who are you?' I asked, changing my question from before. The man had somehow managed to take the shock blanket with him as he dragged me and seeing as I was quite cold in my dress, I had put it around me.

The man smiled a polite smile as he drove to the Phantomhive mansion. 'Ash Landers,' was his answer, but I knew that he knew that that wasn't the only thing I wanted to know about him. 'And you can see me as your guardian angels.'

'Angels do not exist,' I said automatically.

The smile on his face became wider. 'Maybe they don't, maybe they do. That's something only God would know for sure, isn't it?'

I didn't understand what that was supposed to mean, so I just ignored it, being too tired and confused to say anything. 'Why are you helping me?' I asked.

The smile on his face disappeared for a few seconds, but came back before I could worry about his reaction. 'I used to know your mother very well, she was a very clean and beautiful woman.'

Very clean? What did that mean? Was that a compliment? But the fact that he'd known my mother meant that he was probably older than I thought he was.

'I promised her I would look her after you if she for some reason could not do such a thing,' he explained. 'So you are under my protection. I'm very sorry that I haven't contacted you before, but the Phantomhive boy and his butler took good care of you. Madame Red also takes care of you, but I think you don't want to live with her anymore, am I correct?'

'Yes,' I answered, understanding less and less. How did this guy know all that kind of stuff.

Suddenly, he gave me a letter and I realised that we had reached the mansion. 'The house staff is asleep, but I'm sure Ciel Phantomhive will return shortly. Can you give him this letter for me?'

It looked like an official letter, not like 'noble' official, more like 'government' official. 'What does it say?' I ask.

The man smiled and pokes my cheek with his gloved hands. 'That's a secret. Do not open it, okay?' he said and his smile made it impossible to refuse.

'Okay,' I answered, getting out of the car as he drove away in the darkness.

What a strange guy. But not evil, no, I didn't think he was evil. And even if he was, he probably wasn't after me, but after Ciel. Ciel, who was going to lose his aunt if my suspicion were correct.

But… why?

Why would she do that? What would she gain from doing it? And was Grell helping her? I think not, that guy couldn't even kill a spider.

I walked through the gigantic garden until I reached the front door. Ash Landers had been right; the night were off and the door was closed. I didn't want to wake up anyone, nor did I know a way to do so, so I just sat down in from of the front door waiting for Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis to come home.

But the only thing I could think about was the fact that Sebastian wasn't the one who had saved me.

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_POV change_

'So Aleister Chamer has been caught,' Ciel said as he, Sebastian, Lau and Madame Red were sitting in the car on their way to Madame Red's house, since that was the place where Ciel's car was parked.

'Yes, it appears so,' Madame Red said. 'And we weren't even necessary.' She sighed. 'Are you sure that Clarissa is okay?'

Ciel nodded, knowing that Madame Red would believe any lie he told her. 'She went with Elizabeth since she requested a sleepover. She should be fine. Sebastian will go and pick her up in the morning.' He gave Sebastian a glance, who looked back with a 'I will take care of it'-look. It had become clear to the both of them that she didn't die. But her location was currently unknown.

'But it seems like victory is ours,' Lau said, making everyone frown, because victory wasn't supposed to feel this empty.

It was true that they hadn't done anything and that was what had raised Ciel's concern. He didn't understand who had caught Aleister, but he did know that it was impossible for Clarissa to have done it on her own. He knew she was quite capable, but not _that _capable.

He sighed and looked at his hands, trying to understand why he felt as if he had lost something. _Remember, Ciel, you can't lose something if you've got nothing to lose, _he thought to himself, almost immediately correcting himself. He _did _have something to lose. His hatred and burning desire for revenge.

But he was quite sure that not a force in this world could take that away from him.

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'Young Master?' Sebastian suddenly said. 'We've arrived.

Ciel looked up, only his gigantic mansion. He hadn't even noticed that Sebastian had pressed the button that opened up the gate in front of the mansion.

Sebastian held the car door open while Ciel stepped out. The first thing he noticed was that there hung a strange smell in the air, something sweet. The second thing he noticed was a bundle of human laying in front of his front door.

Clarissa was laying there, hugging a blanket that looked like shock blanket. In her pale, fragile hands she was holding something, a letter and Ciel recognized the red mark on the letter, making him pull it out of her hands to study it. His name was on it and it was definitely a letter from the Queen, so why did she have it?

Ciel looked over at Sebastian, who was frowning while looking at her. 'What do you want to do with her?' Sebastian asked.

Ciel sighed. 'Carry her inside,' he said as he opened the letter and started to read the most surprising letter he'd ever gotten from the Queen.

Sebastian picked up the girl, who felt so cold that he was certain she'd been laying there for at least an hour, and carried her inside while his master read the letter she'd carried with her. Waiting for his master next command he stood in the entrance hall, waiting for Ciel to finish reading his letter.

'Oh,' Ciel said frowning. 'How… odd.'

'What is it, Young Master?' Sebastian asked, keeping his voice low because he did not want to wake Clarissa up.

Ciel sighed and Sebastian frowned as he pulled up his eye-patch and looked at his butler with glowing eye. 'This girl is under protection of the Queen. I order you to treat her befittingly and to always help and protect her, unless I'm in greater danger. I will stay your top priority, but she will be one too, understood?'

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment, not wanted to say the words he usually enjoyed saying. 'Yes, my Lord.'

Ciel put his eye-patch back. 'Good. Now go and put her in a bed. And make sure she eats something when she wakes up. She doesn't look too good.'

'Maybe it the shock,' Sebastian suggested.

Ciel didn't really want to think about this now. He really didn't want to be bothered with Clarissa either, but the Queen's commands were the Queen's commands. It did bother him, though. Maybe he should've asked her more questions than he had up until now. 'I'll be in my room waiting for your return,' he told Sebastian and after that he left the entrance hall, holding the letter as if it was his downfall.

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><p>XxX<p>

_Clarissa POV_

I felt familiar arms around me and smelled a familiar smell, but I couldn't help but be sad. There were the arms I had wanted. But they were too late.

As someone put me into a soft surface – a bed? – I tried to grab the person that had put me there, trying to grab _him._

'Sebastian?' I said, knowing that I sounded half-asleep. I somehow managed to open my eyes, but everything was blurry and dark.

'Yes,' I heard a familiar and oh so sweet voice say. The tears that I'd kept in for so long finally escaped as I heard that voice.

'I thought you would be the one to save me,' I said as the tears kept falling down. I don't know how, but I did manage to sit straight and I pressed my face against his chest, trying to understand what I was doing. 'But you didn't come.'

Sebastian grabbed me and pulled me away from him, laying me down on the bed again, not saying anything. 'Go to sleep, Clarissa,' was the only thing he said, but it sounded so cold that it only made me more sad.

'I really hoped that it would be you,' I said, even though I knew I would've never admitted that if I wasn't half asleep. I wasn't even sure if I'd even said it out loud.

But then his reaction came and at that moment, I didn't even care about what he was saying, I was just happy that I could hear his voice.

His voice almost sounded emotionless, cold. As if he was just stated facts, or accusing me of something. Yes, it definitely sounded like he was accusing me of something. 'That day, you managed to take all your walls down, also the walls that protect your soul. Why can you control the things that no human is even aware of? Why do you interest me? And why were you laying in front of the door smelling like a pure creature such as an angel? What _are _you, Clarissa Lane?'

But I was already too far gone to give him an answer.

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**So that was chapter sixteen. I'm sorry that it wasn't Sebastian who saved her, but I was just thinking about what Sebastian would do in a situation where he's starting to gain feelings for someone. Sebastian seems to me like a person who would find that troublesome and just wants that person out of the way so that he can do his job.**

**This is also the first chapter that I hint towards her background story and her possible connection to Ciel and Sebastian, which may be a bigger connection then they first thought. But hey, it's only the beginning, so anything can happen!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter seventeen! YEEEEEAAAAHHH!**

**Okay, that was my weirdness for today. Or maybe it wasn't. I'm just happy because I don't have to go to school anymore!**

**Well, at least for two weeks. After that I have to go back. Blegh.**

**Anyway, enjoy chapter 17 everyone!**

**(Still don't own Kuroshitsuji BTW…)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 17**

That night I dreamed about something that looked more like a memory.

It was me and Drossel and we were sitting by the lake close to my grandmother's house. We used to sit there often, because I never wanted to be inside and he never wanted to do anything active, so we'd always end up at the lake, just throwing stones into the water, looking at the water and talking about stupid stuff.

But in this dream, I wasn't a little girl. I was older and he seemed to be as well. But he wasn't crazy in my dream. He was the Drossel that I'd always knew.

'Drossel, do you know what love is?' I asked as I threw a stone into the water. 'Papa told me he could never love me because all his love went into my mother and because she's gone, his love is gone. Does love work that way?'

Drossel had pulled his legs up and had wrapped his arms around them. He always looked like he was cold, but also always looked like he was scared. 'I think loving someone if caring for someone. Thinking about someone when you do not expect it and wanting them to be happy no matter what. Something like that.'

Now I pulled my legs up too, wrapping my arms around them just like he had. 'Really? I've never experienced anything like that.' I frowned. 'Does that mean that I am a demon who cannot love?'

Drossel shook his head. 'Demons can love. They just choose not to.'

I looked at him, curious about that he meant. 'How do you know that? Does the Bible say that?'

Drossel smiled and looked at the lake as he said: 'I don't know. I haven't read the bible. But I know that demons can love. Because demons are fallen angels and some of them fell because they fell in love with humans.'

I gave him a little push. 'As if angels would ever fall for us!' I said, laughing like the child I was back then.

'Angels are perfect, immortal creatures,' Drossel told me. 'Therefor, perfect and immortal are common and not special. We like beautiful people because their special and they can like us because, from their point of view, we are. I once heard that demons are attracted to flowers because they fade away. Something had fades like they never will interests them.'

I looked at the lake as I said: 'Yeah, but interest is not love.'

'That may be true,' he admitted, but his voice sounded strange. 'But who says that interest can't grow into love?'

As I turned to Drossel to see why his voice sounded so strange I didn't look into Drossel's blue eyes. I looked into Sebastian's devilish red eyes and they glowed and looked like the eyes of a cat, ready to devour me. 'Maybe you should run, Clarissa. We both know that your time is running up. And I won't be here to save you when your clock stops ticking…'

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I woke up seeing two red eyes awfully close to me.

I screamed and rolled back, getting trapped in my blankets as I fell of the bed on the ground. I moaned as I got up, looking at the one to blame.

'Jesus, you sneaky little thing,' I said, looking at the cat as he observed me curiously.

I climbed back on the bed and pet the cat, seeing how he got closer to me, almost trying so hug me it seems. I small smile appeared on my face. 'At least you don't hate me,' I said as I pulled the cat on my lap, which he allowed, to pet him while also sitting comfortable.

I heard the cat purr and it calmed me down and I even closed my eyes for a while, cherishing this quiet and peaceful moment. Softly I started to hum a song and I wasn't even sure what song it was, but it made me feel even more at ease.

'Humming Agnus Dei? You're really trying to piss me off, aren't you?'

For a while, I thought it was the cat who said that. After I while, of course, I realized that that couldn't be possible, so I opened my eyes to look at Sebastian as he stood before my bed. 'Appearing before me this early in the morning?' I said, copying his tone. 'You're really trying to piss me off, aren't you?'

Sebastian didn't react to that, but he did put his hand out to the cat, who immediately run towards his master.

'Jup, you're really trying to piss me off,' I said, surprisingly grumpy and even angry. My sadness from yesterday because Sebastian hadn't saved me had changed into being angry at him. I knew that I really didn't have a reason, he had no obligation to save me, but I still felt betrayed. But most of all annoyed.

'Well, you are all sunshine and rainbows today,' Sebastian said as he pet his cat. 'Do you want to eat some chocolate? Or some medicine?'

It took a while for me to realise what Sebastian was suggesting. 'Very funny, but I'm one of those few girls who doesn't have to worry about stuff like that,' I said as I got out of the bed. 'I can't get pregnant, so everything that comes with that also doesn't count for me.'

Sebastian frowned. 'What?' he asked and I really didn't understand where the sudden serious tone in his voice came from. Was me being sterile such a serious matter to him?

I again felt the weird desire to tell him the truth, whether I was angry at him or not. 'I have a bit of a strange body, I'm often sick. One time when I was fourteen I was in the hospital because I was sick and they didn't know the reason and then during one of the researches they found out that I was sterile. It doesn't really bother me, really.' My words sounded like a waterfall of nonsense, but I wasn't sure how to explain it.

Sebastian's eyebrows rose as he seemed to think of something. Then his face was normal again and an amused smile appeared on his face. 'So that's how it is… how… interesting.'

'Er, sorry?' I asked, not sure about how my condition was 'interesting'. This whole mysterious attitude was starting to freak me out.

He smiled at me. 'No, it's nothing.' But that smile om his face way to innocent to believe.

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When I was finished showering and went to Ciel's office to thank him for taking care of me, Sebastian suddenly appeared at my side. 'Be careful with him, miss Lane. After the newspaper from this morning he's been quite… unbearable.'

I nodded, kind of expected it. 'Because the Jack the Copycat-case isn't closed yet,' I said, because 'thank you' wasn't the only thing I wanted to say to him. He needed to know about my suspicion, even if it meant that his aunt would go to jail.

Sebastian frowned. 'How do you know?' he asked.

I looked at him and I knew that the smile on my face looked forced and sad. 'Because I had a feeling that it wasn't over yet.'

Sebastian actually looked impressed. Ugh, I should take a picture, but my phone was still at Madame Red's house, since I had left it there when we went to the party. I realized that that meant that I would probably miss the newest updates and that I would hear all sorts of stories Monday at school that I didn't know because I didn't have my freaking phone! Argh! Not that I had friends to talk about that stuff, but I hated it when people were talking about someone's death or a wedding that I hadn't heard about. It just annoyed me.

'I don't know what's going on, but you do not seem to be in the best of moods today,' Sebastian said, obviously trying to be nice.

'I want my phone!' I whined.

'That surprising,' Sebastian said, 'since I never see you on your phone.'

Ah. He was right. But that was because if Sebastian was close to me, I had better things to do. Such as listen to Ciel as he threatened me. Or listen to Sebastian as he skilfully seduced me. Or stare at Sebastian when I wasn't paying attention to my own thoughts.

But there was no way that I was going to tell him that.

When I reached Ciel's office, Sebastian was suddenly gone. I swallowed my sudden nerves and knocked on the door.

'Get lost!' I heard him scream, but I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open.

'Getting lost in this house is _so_ two weeks ago,' I told him as he dead-glared me, making me want to roll my eyes again. 'Geez, lady. I just came to thank you for helping me,' I said, trying to which my grumpy and easily annoyed mood into a kind one. Not with any success, but at least I tried.

'Well, you _were _laying in front of my front door,' he said, staring at the paper as if it was his testament.

'Yes, yes, sorry about that,' I said, suddenly blushing like an idiot.

'It's fine,' he said. 'From now on I will make sure to take excellent care of you.' He looked up. 'You won't be put in such a dangerous situation ever again.'

While he was looking determined at me like that and was saying words that I needed to hear so badly, I started to understand – even if it was just a little bit – why Elizabeth had fallen for this boy. The only problem was that I knew not to trust his words completely. 'And what made you think like that?' I asked, certain that there was something that made him think like that.

'You're under the Queen's surveillance now,' he answered. When I looked at him with the most surprised face I could pull, he sighed and said: 'I bet you didn't even know that she knew you existed.'

'Nope,' I said, still staring surprised into the distance. I wasn't sure what to think of this. The Queen, looking out for _me? _Why? Suddenly the face of the man in white appeared in my mind and I shook my head. He wasn't the Queen, how did he end up in my thoughts?

Ciel sighed again. 'Was that everything you wanted to tell me?' he asked, back to looking troubled at the paper again.

I swallowed and opened my mouth numerous of times, but every time I closed it again, not sure of how to say it. Then, finally, words came out: 'Well, Ciel… It's about the Copycat-case,' I started, but then I didn't go on, once again unsure.

'What is it?' Ciel asked, not entirely listening since it was clear that he didn't believe that I could find something that he hadn't.

'I think I might have a potential suspect,' I said, trying to find words to say this in a way that my heart wouldn't break, trying to find a way to say it without hurting him.

'Oh, really?' he said, clearly not believing me. 'Let' hear it then.'

I closed my eyes for a while and took a deep breath before saying: 'Madame Red.'

Ciel didn't look up, but froze. 'What did you say?' he asked, sounding strangely aware.

'Madame Red had been acting kind of strange,' I said, not sure how to explain it. 'And Grell always goes to pick her up in the middle of the night, but they don't return 'till morning. I just think that that's really suspicious.'

'I do believe I agree with her on the point that Grell is a very suspicious matter,' Sebastian said, suddenly appearing behind me, making me jump. His word choice was a bit strange.

'Ah, is that so?' Ciel asked. 'Then we will follow her tonight. Sebastian, find out when her night shift ends and make sure to have everything ready by then. We will follow Grell when he goes to pick her up, but I'll need to know the time her shift's over to see if she is also a suspect.'

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, after that he left the room normally, for some reason.

'What, you believe your butler but not me?' I asked, sounding really offended.

Ciel laughed. 'Well, of course. A demon butler with extreme good senses is much better at deducing than a high school girl with a lot of family problem, right?'

'Family problems? I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have family problems. I don't even have a fam-'

'Ash Landers,' Ciel interrupted me. He strangled his hands together as he leaned back in his chair. 'Friend of yours?'

'Apparently,' I answered, scratching the back of my head. 'But, in all honesty, I have no idea. I didn't even know he existed until yesterday.'

'Strange,' Ciel said. 'Because according to the documents Sebastian collected for me, he is your legal guardian and has been your second guardian ever since your birth,' he said, grabbing something from his desk and waving with it.

I didn't even bother to take it from him to conform his words. I believed him. I just wasn't sure how I was supposed to react to it. 'Maybe he's a friend of the family? I've already told you that I've no idea.'

'Never said you did,' Ciel said, sighing. 'Though I do think that you might me connected to everything somehow, even more than I thought you were.'

Suddenly, I felt a strange pain in my heart and I recognized it immediately. I had it before, not often, like twice a year. But everything I got a rush of pain it become worse. This time I wasn't even able to stay standing.

Ciel frowned. 'Clarissa?'

I waved with one hand at him while my other hand was against the place where my hearts was beating in my chest. 'It's fine, it's fine. It will be over in a minute.'

Then Ciel seemed to realise what it was. 'Ah. You're had this before during PE, correct?' he asked. 'And I believe you once had it during a history lesson as well.'

The pain was almost gone by now. 'Correct,' I said. But the memory stayed there.

When I stood up straight again, Ciel frowned his eyebrow again. 'Clarissa… You might want to look into a mirror for a bit…'

'Sorry?' I asked, immediately touching my hair.

Ciel touched his eye-patch, probably without even knowing that he did. 'Your eyes… they… they've become purple.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Ah, it really is terrible to find your most wonderful creation hanging around such a unclean human and his graceless creature. I know that it is for the greater good, but it still pisses me off,' the man said as he walked through the empty corridors of the hospital. 'It's a good thing that I remember where I put you,' he mumbled as he walked into the restricted section of the hospital.

No one stopped him. Of course, they weren't even aware that he was there. A smile appeared on his face, a smile so devilish that it would scare even the cats. Everything was going according to plan. It was time to bring out his first trick, to try and cleanse the boy and get rid of the demon. Whether it was one way or another, he would get read of the creatures who make pure humans unclean.

He opened a locked door without unlocking it and walked into a room where there were only wires and machines, all to keep one, insane little human alive. The machines made incredible loud noises, but it didn't annoy the man, because the chaotic noise reminded him of chaos. And he loved chaos.

The man walked over to the bed, leaned over the human that was laying on the bed and smiled. 'Time for you to wake up,' he said with his angelic voice. 'Drossel Keinz.'

And then the human on the bed opened his purple eyes.

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**I love writing confusing stuff. But at least now you know: EYE COLOUR IS IMPORTANT! I noticed that Ash and Angela had purple eyes, as well as Drossel, who was sort of possessed by an angel, so I thought that eye colour must have something to do with what you are. That's just a theory of me, though.**

**This chapter for a bit short, sorry! It wasn't the shortest one, though. I'm trying not to beat that record :)**

**There is some pretty fun stuff coming up and also an idea that I like but I think some of you might hate (please don't hate me when you find out what it is!).**

**Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, love you all! Until next time!**


	18. Chapter 18

**_Bang bang, into the roof!_**

**Okay, I really don't like that song, but it's stuck in my head and I can't get it out and ARGH! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Hearing Ariana Grande in your head while trying to write is really hard, especially if you have to write about demons and murders and stuff like that, so that totally sucked.**

**But yeah, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, wish I did, but nope, but I do own Clarissa and every OC that won't come into this story (seriously, I'm not planning on any other OC's. At least not in this story. Maybe I change my mind later, but I don't think so).**

**Thank you for reviewing and reading!**

**Enjoy chapter… eighteen? (checks whether this is chapter eighteen or not) Yes, eighteen.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 18**

Ciel looked at her as he saw her eyes going purple. He frowned. 'Clarissa… You might want to look into a mirror for a bit…'

'Sorry?' she asked, touching her hair as though that was the thing that didn't look right.

Ciel tried to say it without sounding confused himself, but he couldn't manage to do so. 'Your eyes… they… have become purple.' But as he said it, her eyes started to change until her natural colour had come back. What just happened?

'What?' she asked, looking around for a mirror. The only mirror in the room was the one hanging above the chimney.

'No, never mind,' he said as she looked at herself in the mirror. He strangled his hands together and sighed. He should ask Sebastian about this as soon as he came back.

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><p>XxX<p>

_Clarissa's POV_

'This is no time to be playing chess,' Ciel told Madame Red as he moved a chess piece.

We were sitting in Madame Red's living room, but after the awkward conversation between me and Ciel this morning, we hadn't talked, so I had no idea what the plan was. Were we supposed to follow her? Was she an official suspect? I didn't know. And I hated that.

'Working obsessively will lead to no good,' was Madame Red's answer as she moved a chess piece. 'Why don't you leave everything to Sebastian?'

Speaking of Sebastian, where had he'd been up until now? Now he was standing next to the case full of silverware and plates, cleaning the silver spoons with a white piece of cloth, but I had no idea what he'd been doing. Or what he'd found out.

Why didn't they tell me anything? I guess I still wasn't really part of the team.

'He's just my chess piece,' Ciel answered as he moved another piece. 'I'm the one who moves him by giving order.'

I sat on the ground – don't ask why because I wasn't sure either, but at least the floor had really thick, soft carpet – and gave Ciel a look. _Unless he doesn't listen, of course._

Madame Red moved a chess piece, but didn't respond.

'But he's not an ordinary chess piece,' Ciel went on, 'he can advance as many squares as he likes at once.' He took out his hand to move a chess piece, but I couldn't see from my position on the floor what it was. 'Like this.'

I guessed that he had taken one of Madame Red's chess pieces, because she looked surprised and defeated to the chess board. 'That against the rules!' she said, but I'm pretty sure that whatever Ciel had just done, it wasn't.

Then I realised that she wasn't talking about the chess game, but about Ciel's game. And with 'game', I meant his life. 'Yes, if this were a game, it would be.'

What a strange thing for Ciel to say. He always said that this _were _a game, not that they weren't. The next thing he said made it a bit clearer though. 'But rules have no meaning in this world. There are always knights who break the rules and pawns who betray.' That last part he said with a sinister tone in his voice, looking at Madame Red as if he meant her.

Which he probably did, but if I were him, I wouldn't want the main suspect to know that you are suspecting him.

But Ciel wasn't finished talking yet. 'If you let your guard down, then before you know it...' He picked up a chess piece, but I again couldn't see what it was and where he put it. '…It's checkmate.'

Madame Red sighed and since she didn't move a chess piece, I knew that Ciel had just defeated her for the third time in a row. 'You have other options in life besides being the Queen's guard dog,' she then said. 'My sister… Your mother must have wanted something else for you, too. And yet you returned to the Underworld…'

Geez, lady. That sounded dark. And okay, maybe she was a bit right, I mean, Ciel _did _make a contract with a demon, but she didn't know about that, so from her point of view, she was being overdramatic. Or so I thought.

Then she said something that no one in this room wanted to hear, but everyone knew. 'Is it because you're trying to avenge your parents?'

I was surprised that Ciel answered her seriously, but his words made me confused. It felt like he was saying the truth, but this words seemed to be going against a lot of things I thought I knew. 'Revenge won't bring back the dead. And it definitely wouldn't make them happy,' he said. 'I didn't come back to the Phantomhive house for my predecessors' sakes.' He looked at his hands for a while, looking at the blue ring the wore on this thumb. 'I did it for me,' he finally said, looking up to face his aunt. 'I just want to make the people who betrayed and defiled my family suffer the same humiliation and pain that I suffered.'

Humiliation? I got the pain part, but humiliation? When was he humiliated? The only thing I could think of was his eye, but it was already clear that that was his own doing, by making a contract with Sebastian.

Madame Red closed her eyes for a while, with a sad smile on her face. 'I still remember the day you were born.'

_Oh, apparently we're going to change topics._

'You were so tiny and cute,' she went up as she stood from her chair, walking up to Ciel. 'I just thought "I must protect him".' He put her hand on his head, still smiling that sad smile of hers. 'I wasn't able to have a child, but I think of you as my own.' He bend down so she could face him properly.

I looked away, to Sebastian. He looked back at me, a silver knife in his hands. The looks we exchanged confirmed that we both didn't believe she was speaking the truth. No mother would leave her son in a house so far away from her, only because of her work. A real mother would insist of taking him in and would take care of the traumatised child. She did not.

'I wish you would leave the Underw-'

Ciel slapped her hand away. 'Being here now is something I wanted and something I chose,' Ciel said, ignoring Madame Red's shocked look. He did look straight at her when he said these words though: 'I don't regret it and I don't want anyone to spoil me.'

_Well, Sebastian and your enormous fortune are spoiling you quite a bit, sir. _Though, those two both weren't really people.

Madame Red sighed and straightened herself. 'I should leave for work,' she said, walking towards the door. 'Sebastian?' she asked, standing in the doorway.

He looked up from his silverware. 'Yes, my lady?'

'Don't stray from the boy's side,' she said, looking way too concerned to be real.

A smile that no one would trust appeared on his face. But the words he said were so sincere that no one could every doubt them. 'Fear not, I shall stay by his side 'till the very end.'

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><p>XxX<p>

We stayed in the house, even though Madame Red had left. Which was logical, seeing how I was still kind of living here and Ciel had said that he would stay until the Copycat-case had come to a close.

Sebastian went to cook dinner and Grell went to clean up the rooms upstairs, because Ciel had given him that order and said that he 'didn't want to see his face unless it was absolutely necessary'. So that left me and Ciel alone in the living room.'

I was staring out of the window, looking how the rain fell down and the lightning made the darkness outside go away for a few seconds.

'The world can be completely swallowed by darkness,' I said, making Ciel look away from his book to give me a confused look.

'Huh?' he said, not trying to be polite with me, which I actually liked more than when he acted all high and mighty.

I also like the interested he seemed to have in my words, making me put more effort in explaining what I had meant. 'Night doesn't care whether your rich or poor, famous or forgotten. Everyone gets consumed by darkness if there's no light for them to follow.'

'That's true, I guess,' Ciel said after a while. 'But I do think that there are ways for people to stay in the light even without light to guide themselves.'

'Maybe,' was my reaction. After that we were silent again, but after a while, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I stood up. 'I'm going to check how Sebastian is doing,' I said, even though me and Ciel both knew that that didn't need a check-up. Sebastian was amazing in everything that he did and he knew that.

'Hello, Sebastio,' I said, trying to make 'hello' rhyme with 'Sebastian'. Which was clearly kind of impossible.

Sebastian looked at me with one of his eyebrows pulled up. He was stirring something with a spoon, but it looked sort of strange.

'You never use any electronic when you cook, do you?' I asked as I pulled myself on the kitchen counter and sat there, swaying my legs up and down as I observed at him.

'No, I don't,' he said. 'I find that the food I make comes out better when using own power and effort.'

'Show-off,' I muttered, letting my legs hang as I felt kind of defeated.

A small smile appeared on his face. 'Sorry, what was that?' he asked, clearly giving me a chance to take my words back.

Which I of course didn't do. 'I said that you are a show-off. And I bet you don't even know how to use electronic cooking utensils.'

He laughed. 'That might be true, but I do think that that, in this case, does not matter. If I wanted to learn I could, I just prefer not to.'

'What's on the menu today?' I asked.

Sebastian sighed and said. 'It's a secret,' but then he smiled and said: 'Chicken, carrots and potatoes with a special sauce.'

'Sounds great,' I said, though I didn't need to know the menu to know that I would like it. 'Why didn't you save me?' I asked in the same light tone as our conversation had been up until now, but with much harsher words.

Sebastian went along with my light-tone-but-harsh-words-conversation. 'Because I didn't want you to be saved,' he answered, not looking at me anymore.

I wasn't sure how to react to that. I thought about it for a while and then I said the only thing I could think of. 'I guess I should've seen that answer coming.' I jumped off the kitchen counter and started to walk out of the kitchen when Sebastian stopped me with one of his gloved hands. 'Why are you leaving?' he asked me, seeming seriously troubled by the fact that I was.

'You just literally said that you hate me so much that you want to get me killed,' I said, not trying to free myself from his grip, but wishing to be able to free myself, 'so I thought that you probably didn't enjoy my company.'

Then he did the only thing that could possibly confuse me more. He pulled me towards him and put his hands around me, hugging me as though he wanted to console me.

After a while a I opened my mouth. 'You're not trying to hug me to death, are you?' I asked, only a bit serious. 'Because that's the only logical solution I can come up with at the moment.'

'Hmm,' was his only reaction and I felt his breath against my neck.

Suddenly, I got scared. 'You're not thinking for doing weird things to me, are you?' I asked, every single word sounded like a question.

'Depends on what you define as 'weird',' he answered, but I could hear that he was joking.

'Well, don't bite me,' I said and even though that was meant to be a joke, it sounded way to serious to be one.

'Don't tempt me,' he said and I screamed a small scream when I felt a sudden pain in my neck.

I pushed him away, a hand on my neck. 'You bit me!' I said, trying not to scream since I was scared that Ciel would be able to hear me.

Sebastian slightly tilted his head to the right. 'And what if I did?' he asked, licking his lips in a way that wasn't sexy, but scary.

I grabbed the big spoon from the kitchen counter. 'You've told me that drinking someone's blood was a very ungraceful thing to do.'

'Yes,' he said, very serious. 'I dare even say it's barbaric.'

Somewhere in my mind someone was calling me, telling me that he was only trying to distract me so that I wouldn't ask the hard questions. But for now, I ignored the voice. Mostly because I needed the distraction as well. 'Then why did you…'

'I didn't drink anything did I?' he asked, folding his hands behind his back and looking as innocent as he possibly could.

I narrowed my eyes, still holding the spoon like a sword. 'But that doesn't mean that you weren't planning on-'

'What _are _you guys doing?' someone asked.

We both turned around. Ciel stood in the doorway, with one eyebrow pulled up.

I immediately dropped the spoon and it fell on the ground with a loud noise, making me cringe. Ciel was still waiting for an answer. 'Err, trying to kill a vampire?' I asked, pointing at Sebastian.

Ciel didn't look convinced. 'With a spoon?' he asked.

'It was a silver spoon,' I muttered as I bowed down to pick it up.

Ciel sighed and approached us. 'I do believe that you're talking about werewolves, not vampires,' he said as he took the spoon from me. 'And I think you can't handle a weapon like this.' He handed the spoon to Sebastian. 'Grell just told me that he would leave to pick up Madame Red at eleven. We will leave soon after that, so make sure everything is prepared by then.'

I looked confused at them. 'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, or course knowing the plan that I wasn't aware of.

I considered gently asking, but I was way too annoyed for that now. 'Guys!' I moaned. 'You can't leave me out of this! What are we going to do?'

Ciel closed his eye for a moment, before saying: '"We" aren't doing to do anything. You will stay here and wait for their return, also cover for us when they come back earlier than us and me and Sebastian will track Grell and possibly Madame Red.'

'That sounds like a horrible plan!' It didn't, but I really didn't want to be left out again.

'No, it doesn't,' Ciel said, knowing all too well what I was thinking. 'Sebastian made the plan himself.'

I gave Sebastian a cold glare, pressing my lips together and thinking _'traitor!' _in my head. His reaction was just a polite smile, but something about it made me think that there was more behind me staying here. Would he tried to get me killed again if I were to come with them? And if that was it, then why didn't he insist on taking me with them, so that I could get killed? Wasn't that what he wanted? I know that everyone always says that guys are confusing, but it seemed that demons were even worse.

Ciel sighed again and rolled his eye. 'You two are really starting to piss me off. What are you, a comedic duo?'

Now I was the one to sigh. _If we were, things would probably be a lot less complicated_.

I didn't say that out loud though.

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><p>XxX<p>

That evening, after Grell left, we were standing in the entrance hall. Sebastian already had his coat on and was helping Ciel with his. Cause, apparently, the great Lord Ciel Phantomhive couldn't put on his own coat.

Sebastian held the car door open as I stood there in front of the door, in my dress in the rain. I was surprised when Sebastian actually walked towards me after closing the car door. 'Your bow is crocked,' he said, readjusting the bow on my dress. As he did that I watched him closely, his long eyelashes and his beautiful face.

I wasn't sure why I wasn't scared of him anymore. But as I watched him readjusting the bow with a slight smile on his face, the only thing I wanted was to talk to him. Ask him more about demons and how he viewed humans. How he managed to stay true to Ciel while also stay true to his demonic nature. I wanted to find out of old he was, and I wanted to hear everything about the life he'd lived.

Suddenly Sebastian grabbed my face, pulling it up so he could look at it probably. He looked into my eyes as if they were the most beautiful things in the world. 'Green eyes, check!' he said jokingly. 'No purple.'

As he looked at me like that, I couldn't help myself. Now that I look back at it, I shouldn't have. I should've just watched him step into the car and leave. I shouldn't even have looked at him. But I did.

And as he looked into my eyes with that smile of his, I leaned forward to press my lips – only for a split second – to his.

He froze under my touch, not even letting out a breath. The only thing that changed was that his smile had faded and his eyes had lost the amused twinkle.

'I'm sorry,' I muttered and after that I fled back inside and closed the door before he could say or do anything.

I let myself slide down against the door and covered my face with my hands.

_What had I done?_

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter eighteen has ended!**

**So I'll try and comment on every review from now on, unless I really don't know how to react. I think that most of my reactions will just be thanks, but yeah.**

**BlackMoon901: I'm glad you liked it! But please don't die, there is still so much stuff that is going to happen!**

**promocat: yeah, true, but I don't like to write short chapters, because I don't like reading short chapters. (I hope that sounded logical.)**

**Lestatsgirl15: Interesting is one of the biggest compliments I can get! I'm always scared that my chapters are boring, so thanks!**

**Nelisa: It isn't necessarily her behaviour (I mean her thoughts aren't really the most angelic thoughts in the world)… But I don't want to give too much away!**

**ycsitmc: Sorry if that bored you, but I don't regret putting her in that position, since that was ****_the _****opportunity for Ash to appear.**

**wolf-akuma: Jup, I'm actually really proud that I thought of that! (and now I'm a bit ashamed that I just said such an arrogant thing)**

**So… does anyone have any idea what's going to happen next? I feel like I've made it way too obvious in chapter 17, but I'm not sure if I dislike that or not. Maybe it's a good thing that the 'audience' knows before Clarissa does!**


	19. Chapter 19

**So in this chapter comes the twist that I think some of you won't like… So I'm actually really scared…**

**But anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, I do own my OC and I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 19**

This night was the most horrible night of my life.

Sitting alone in a creepy and empty house, trapped in my own thoughts, was something that I really did not want to experience right now.

I still couldn't get over the fact that I'd actually kissed him. Even though it was just a split second and most people wouldn't even see that as a kiss, but I did. And I hated myself. Why had I done it in the first place?

_Because you think he's attractive, of course. That's the only reason. No feelings. Just because he's handsome._

But the moment I thought that, I could slap myself. Of course that wasn't it! I didn't care how handsome he was, I wouldn't go and kiss a demon only because he was hot.

When were Grell and Madame Red coming home?! I really did not want to stay alone anymore. What was going on? Was Grell behind it? Madame Red? Or were they working together? What if they were? Would they go to jail? What would happen to Ciel if his first legal guardian went to jail? Would Sebastian become his first guardian? That sounded like a terrible idea.

I wasn't sure for how long I'd been staring in the distance when my phone rang.

I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the display to see who would call me this late. I wasn't surprised that it was a number that my phone didn't recognize.

When I picked up the phone, I wasn't sure what to expect. But I sure as hell didn't expect Sebastian to speak in such a polite manner, as if we'd never met before. 'I call to inform you that certain events have come to a close,' he said, his voice sounding so business-like that I immediately wanted to hang up. 'Ciel and I are currently in the hospital, but we'll come home soon. Grell and Madame Red won't return. I thought you wanted to know. Goodnight.' Then he hung up.

I stood still for a few seconds. Then I freaked.

_WHAT?!_

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><p>XxX<p>

I rushed inside the hospital, immediately assuming that they were in the London Central Hospital, since that was the closest one.

I really didn't get why Madame Red had to be picked up, because running I got there in less than ten minutes. I ran over to the desk were a young nurse was sitting. 'I'm sorry,' I said, breathing heavy. 'But is Ciel Phantomhive here?'

She looked up at me with a polite smile. 'You mean the Earl? They brought him in a few minutes ago. Are you family?' she asked.

I nodded, just in case that they didn't let me see him if I wasn't. 'Yes, I'm his niece.' Since Madame Red was kind of my guardian that wasn't even that incorrect.

The smile on the nurses face faded for a second and I thought for a second that she didn't believe me, but then she said: 'Second floor, room 63. But don't worry, sweetheart. He didn't look seriously injured when he arrived.' She pulled a face. 'He had more than enough energy to whine about the employees and the smell in this hospital.'

I thanked her, not sure how to react to the last things she said, and rushed over to the stairs, because I didn't want to wait for the elevator. I looked around and thanked heavens that this hospital had a lot of signs to lead you to the room you needed to be. It took me less than a minute to find the right room.

I didn't even knock on the door. I just rushed in. 'Ciel!' I said when I saw him, but he looked surprisingly okay.

And he didn't look happy to see me. 'What are you doing here?' he asked, not even trying to hide the fact that he really didn't want me to be here.

'Sebastian called, so I got worried,' I said, trying to ignore the butler that was standing in the corner of the room, staring at me with burning eyes.

Ciel sighed and gave Sebastian a quick glare. 'Well, I guess it can't be helped then. But nothing's wrong.'

Then I noticed the bandage on his leg. 'Nothing's wrong?! What happened to your leg?!' I said, rushing over to him to get a better view.

'It's just a small injury,' he said. 'Nothing's wrong. I'll be fine.'

'Actually,' a doctor said as he entered the room. 'We took a look at the pictures. Your muscle has been damaged and even though your leg will heal fine, that muscle is most likely permanently damaged.'

I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to understand what had happened. Who'd injured him? And what would happen to Ciel?

The doctor closed this eyes for a moment. 'He will be fine, but I advise you to acquire a walking stick. Walking can be tricky, especially the first few months.'

Ciel didn't say anything, he just stared out of the window, where the rain had stopped falling.

And for the first time since I'd met him, Ciel looked sincerely heart broken.

But I didn't think that it had anything to do with his leg.

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><p>XxX<p>

After the doctor left, I mumbled that I was going to get some water and left the room, wanting to escape the heavy atmosphere that was hanging there.

I sat down just outside the room, not wanting to look for water. Running and not sleeping had taken their toll and I didn't have any energy left. But I also felt the strange desire to cry, which I didn't, since I felt like that would be useless right now.

Some went to sit down beside me. 'Why is it that every time I see you, you seem to be on the edge of crying?'

I looked up, into the violet eyes of Ash Landers. 'Maybe your timing is just bad,' I said, forcing a smile, not entirely sure how to treat this man.

He gave me a smile back. 'No, I think my timing it precisely right,' was his reaction, though it sounded like he was talking about more than just our meeting times. 'So, what happened?' he asked, sounding like a real parent.

Which somehow made the tears escape. As I started crying I felt so ashamed that I covered my face with my hands. 'I don't know. And that's the problem. I don't know anything!' I said, my hands still covering my face.

'Hmm, yes, I do believe that's true,' he said, again sounding like there was more behind the words he said then just what it seemed to mean on the surface. 'But I do believe that that will change the moment that you are willing to change. So, are you willing to change?'

I pulled my hands of my face and looked at him frowning. 'What do you mean by that?' The words didn't sound that impressive since I was still crying, but I felt like it was stopping on its own now, as if someone made them leave.

'What I mean right now is not important,' he said, waving my words away. 'What's important now is… how fare are you willing to go to save Ciel Phantomhive?'

_Saving Ciel Phantomhive? _I never even thought of that as a possibility. If it was Sebastian I was up against, I could never win. I was only human, after all. 'I'm willing to go as far as to save him, but I already know that I will never be able to,' I told him. Then I realised something strange. 'Wait, how do you know about that?'

A smile that I couldn't trust appeared on the man's face. 'Well, I do believe that there are creatures in this world who can sense a lost soul. But I do think that Ciel Phantomhive has a soul that is not lost yet.' He stood up and offered me is hand. 'Come, there's something I want to show you.'

I let him pull me up and I followed him as we walked down and down stairs, until we reached a place where there were no signs and no directions. It also felt a lot colder here than it had felt on the other floors.

That was the moment I realized that I had just followed a man I barely knew into the cellar of a hospital. 'Wait, what are we doing he-'

Ash had disappeared.

But it wasn't silent here. You could hear the noises of machines buzzing and working, but that wasn't the thing that sounded familiar. That wasn't the thing that made me stand frozen in the corridor, waiting for the moment that I finally dared to move.

'_London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady,_' a voice that I would never be able to forget sang. I unintentionally brought my hand to the burning mark in my neck, feeling it burn as the memory came back to me.

And there, at the end of the corridor, appeared a familiar face.

Drossel Keinz.

'_Build it up with wood and clay, wood and clay, wood and clay. Build it up with wood and clay, my fair Lady._'

He was wearing a hospital uniform, but it didn't look right. He used to always wear hats. Seeing him without a hat was really unnatural.

'_Wood and clay will wash away, wash away, wash away. Wood and clay will wash away, my fair lady,_' he sang, finally noticing me.

We just stood there, not far away from each other, but also not close. I just stood still in shock and horror and he just stood there, head tilted to the left, looking at me with a curious look in his purple eyes.

Wait… purple?

He just kept looking at me with that look and I had nothing to say, nothing to hear. I didn't want to move, too scared to be attacked again. Too scared to die without accomplishing or understanding anything.

'Clary?' he then said, for once not singing.

I still couldn't react, didn't know how.

Then he said another word: 'Old.'

Old? If this were a different situation, I would have felt insulted. But right now, I was too scared to feel anything.

Then, thank god, a nurse appeared, frowning as she saw me and Drossel standing there. 'Mister Keinz! You are supposed to be sleeping!' she said, grabbing Drossel' arm. She looked at me. 'Did he bother you?'

I finally managed to move, but only to shake my head.

'Why are you here?' she asked.

I suddenly felt like answering with one word was a good idea. 'Lost,' was the only thing I said.

'Ah. Well, you can just go upstairs, I'm sure you'll find your way back,' she said as she started to lead Drossel back to wherever he was supposed to be.

But then he started singing again. And as he sang, I heard a joy in his voice that I couldn't describe not explain. '_Clary, she will fade away, fade away, fade away. Clary, she will fade away, my fair lady._'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I somehow managed to find my way back to Ciel and Sebastian, who were about to leave the hospital as I got there. I was pretty sure that Ciel had pulled some strings to be able to leave earlier, because the doctor didn't look really happy when Ciel stepped out of bed, almost falling down the moment he stood.

Sebastian immediately pulled out his hands to catch Ciel, but he pushed him away immediately, looking at Sebastian with a look that I didn't understand, but I was pretty sure that I had never seen it before. He seemed scared, but that wasn't the word to describe it. It seemed like it was fear mixed with disgust.

'I'm fine,' he said harsh. 'I can stand on my own.' But as he walked towards the doorway, it was clear to everyone that he couldn't.

I walked up to him, somehow sure that he wouldn't be scared if it was me. It seemed that everyone in the room hadn't noticed me until I did that. 'Don't be silly,' I said as he looked at me with his famous 'leave me alone'-look. 'Here, you can lend my arm,' I said, holding out my arm for him. 'It can be your walking stick until we get you one.'

Ciel looked at me if he wanted to protest, but then he took my arm and I felt that he needed it, because the next step he took I felt his weight on my arm. 'Thank you,' he said, so soft that I was almost certain that I'd heard it wrong.

'You're welcome,' I mumbled back, looking back at Sebastian as he looked at me and Ciel with anger and possessiveness in his eyes.

But I knew that that wasn't directed towards me, but towards Ciel. Because why would Sebastian ever want to possess me?

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When we arrived at the Phantomhive mansion, Ciel had fallen asleep. At first I wanted to carry him to his room, knowing that, for some reason, he wouldn't like it if Sebastian was the one to carry him now. But since I was scared that I would drop him on the floor, I let Sebastian carry him. But I didn't leave him alone. I just walked besides them, holding Ciel's hand as if that would accomplish anything. But I felt that he squeezed my hand from time to time and that was more than enough to make me feel useful.

Sebastian didn't bother to change Ciel's clothes, even though he was still wearing hospital clothes. The moment he'd closed the door to Ciel's room, he turned to face me. 'I do believe I got some explaining to do,' he said.

I was actually surprised. 'Oh, so you are actually going to tell me anything? I'm impressed.' I didn't sound as cynical as I'd wanted.

'Madame Red was killed,' Sebastian said, completely ignoring the cynical turn I was trying to take.

'W-what?' I said, because whatever I'd expected, that wasn't it. I covered my mouth with my hands for a few seconds, not sure how to react. 'So she wasn't… Oh gosh. By who?'

'Grell Sutcliffe,' was his answer. 'But Madame Red wasn't innocent either.'

I felt like I'd missed something. 'Are you saying that we were both right? That they were both killing those women, that they were a team?'

'Yes, but the moment Grell lost interest in her, he killed her, to Young Master's grief. Even though he will never admit that.' Sebastian frowned. 'And now, in order for the explanation I give you, I asked one of you.'

I immediately understood what he was talking about, but right now I couldn't bring myself to talk about that. I wasn't sure if I ever would be able to. 'I understand, Sebastian, but right now, I just want to go to bed. I'll explain when I can, okay?'

He frowned, clearly not liking this for an answer. But as I yawned, he seemed to understand that this wasn't only because I really – _really – _did not want to talk or think about it. 'I understand.' He bowed. 'Goodnight, my Lady.'

But after hearing Drossel sing that song again, the word 'lady' had lost all his charm. Now, that word just creeped me out.

As I walked to the room that was soon probably going to be mine again, since I had lost my home for the second time in less than two months, I noticed that the black cat was following me again. 'You know, cat,' I said, 'I think that you're the only friend I have at the moment.' A gave the cat a sad smile. 'And that's not good, considering that you're probably one of Sebastian's minions.'

The cat just closed his eyes for a short period, walking without problems even though his eyes were closed.

'Well, at least you're not trying to confuse me even more,' I said as I walked into my room, only to see the moon shining through the window.

But then I thought I saw something else, and I rushed towards the window.

And right before it disappeared, I thought I saw someone with long, blood red hair running through the night.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'What do you mean he disappeared?' Abberline asked the nurse, trying to take notes while also try to stay calm. He was actually pretty freaked out in this creepy cellar. He didn't like going out on his own like this, but all the other police officers were way too busy with the two corpses that were found.

'I mean that he disappeared! He isn't in his room and the camera's do not show anything! It's like he disappeared in thin air!' the nurse said panicking.

'That's not possible! Aren't there any clues?' Abberline asked. 'Strange behaviour or strange occurrences?'

'Well,' the nurse said, suddenly thinking of something. 'Not too long ago, there was this girl here. But she really did seem lost and useless, so I don't think she had anything to do with it.'

'A-a-aha,' Abberline said, writing this down just in case.

'But after that… he always sings _London Bridge is falling down_, that kind of his thing,' she said. 'But ever since that strange girl appeared, he'd been singing the same strange, non-existing couplet over and over again.'

'Ah, and what did he sing?' Abberline asked, almost certain that this wasn't going to be helpful at all.

The nurse seemed to think about that for a moment. 'I do believe it was something along the lines of '_Clary, she will fade away, fade away, fade away. Clary, she will fade away, my fair lady', _I'm actually quite sure. He was singing it the whole night.'

Abberline frowned as he thought of the girl named 'Clarissa' that he'd met yesterday. 'I'm sorry, but I do believe that we'll need to make a composite sketch of the girl you met this evening. Do you mind coming to the office with me?'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**Chapter nineteen has ended! So yeah, that happened. The thing I thought some of you wouldn't like was the walking stick thing. I just wondered as I watched the anime why he had one and so I came up with a reason. Not only because it's a pretty iconic thing he always has with him, but also because there aren't many people these days with walking sticks, so I felt like I had to give him a good reason to have one.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC. (and yeah, that's the only thing I wanted to say)**

**Oh, and sorry for the typos! I'm such a horrible person (when it comes to writing stuff)!**

**XxX**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

'Big brother!' a girl screamed as she rushed towards the boy standing by the gate of the church. 'Lots of people are here today, huh, big brother?' the little boy asked the slightly older boy as the young girl joined them at the gate.

I was standing next to them, dressed in black pants and a black coat, even though I wasn't going to step inside the church.

'Why?' asked the girl, looking up at the tallest boy.

'I don't know,' the eldest boy answered, but somehow I got the feeling that he did have an idea, but he just didn't want to say that to his siblings.

The youngest brother looked at his brother in surprise. 'But you're older! You don't know?'

The girl pointed bluntly at the boy. 'Are you dumb?' she asked him.

'I'm only twelve!' the boy said flustered. 'I don't have to know everything!'

Just as I wanted to open my mouth to tell them what the fuss was all about, a familiar voice from before me said: 'Indeed.'

I looked away from the children and saw the Undertaker standing there, at the other side of the gate, looking at the three children. 'It's only natural a normal twelve-year old boy wouldn't know,' he said, clearly referring to Ciel. 'Today is a certain noblewoman's big day,' he went on, making it sound as though someone was getting married.

The children looked pretty scared when they saw the Undertaker. The eldest even pulled his younger siblings away from the man, but that didn't stop the girl from asking: 'Big day?' But after that, the eldest covered her mouth, did not want her to say anything more to the man.

I understood that the Undertaker looked pretty creepy to them, but I didn't feel the need to step in and do something about it.

'Yes,' the Undertaker answered. 'A person's final, biggest ceremony in life.'

Well, in death was the better word, but if that's how he wanted to think it, then I wouldn't ruin that for him.

'The funeral,' the Undertaker finally said, making the three kids look back at the church with different eyes this time.

That was the moment that I thought it was best to step in. 'Hey, hey, you guys, this is not a place for kids to be hanging around,' I said as I approached the children. 'Go home, this is a private ceremony.'

The eldest one seemed happy to obey me and pulled his sibling away from the church as they crossed the road, probably going home.

The Undertaker laughed. 'Aah, if it isn't you, Clarissa!' he said, sounding happy in his creepy sort of way.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a second. 'Don't you have better things to do, Undertaker?' I asked as I leaned against the gate. 'It's not like you really knew her or anything.'

'But I did design the coffin,' he said. 'And I made her pretty for her big day!'

'Well, Ciel doesn't seem to agree with that,' I said, pointing at the boy who was opening the door of the church with a red dress in his hands. He was now walking with a walking stick, but somehow it didn't look pathetic, but strong.

'What?' The Undertaker said, turning around. 'Oh no! The flowers!' he then said, running away towards Sebastian, who was standing next to some sort of carriage in front of the church. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but then I saw the red petals of roses flying from the carriage, entering the church and some of them flying into the air and disappearing from my sight.

Suddenly I felt like crying, but I didn't. I just put a sat smile on my face and started singing. '_London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down. London bridge is falling down, my fair lady._' I repeated and repeated until I saw that the three children had returned and were looking at me with eyes full of curiosity.

The little girl turned to her brother again. 'Brother, why is she singing?'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

After the funeral there was a dinner party that I was invited to, but I didn't attend. I went back home with Mei-Rin and the others. But since Ciel needed the car, we were going by bus.

'So Madame Red won't come to visit anymore,' Finnian said. Me and Mei-Rin were able to sit, but he and Baldroy didn't have enough space in the bus so they were standing next to our seats. 'It'll be lonely.'

Mei-Rin looked sad and I knew that I looked the same, but I also knew that I looked sad for a different reason. These three thought that Madame Red had been a victim of Jack the Copycat. And in some ways she had been. But the truth was more complicated.

Baldroy managed to pull a smile on his face. 'What's with the long faces? This is exactly the kind of time when we need to support our young master!'

Mei-Rin and Finnian immediately brought forced smiles on their faces, but it didn't look ridiculous. It looked brave and strong. 'Right!' they said, their fighting spirit lift again.

I looked out of the window, somehow feeling like somewhere else, something heavy was going on. I felt as though Ciel needed help, a kind of help that Sebastian couldn't give him and a kind of help that he would never accept from me. But I wanted to help him.

I almost started crying, but a hand on my knee made me look up before I could. Mei-Rin, Baldroy and Finnian were looking at me with worrying eyes. 'Are you okay, yes?' Mei-Rin asked.

I opened my mouth, closed it again and opened it again. 'No,' I said in all honesty. 'But right now, it's not about me. Don't worry about me.' I looked back at the window again, saw how the sun was slowly disappearing and the night was starting to come. 'Worry about your master,' I said, still looking out of the window. 'He needs all the care he can get.' _And Sebastian would never give him such care._

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

As we arrived at the mansion, Finnian went to work in the kitchen, Mei-Rin went to go and clean the silverware and Baldroy went to the kitchen to see if there was anything he could prepare for dinner today.

And I just walked through the mansion with no direction, knowing that the cat was once again following me. I didn't mind. I was used to having him as my personal stalker, at least as long as I was inside this mansion.

I somehow ended up in the ballroom, where Ciel and Elizabeth had danced and me and Sebastian had… well, danced, but it was more like Sebastian making fun of me. I sat down behind the grand piano that was standing in the ballroom.

I knew that the cat was at my feet, looking up at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look into his red eyes, so I didn't. I just touched one key on the piano. And another one. And another one until I was playing an actual song. I wasn't playing something hard, since I had only had piano lessons for a year, but I wasn't sure for who I was playing. Playing for Ciel, because he had lost is aunt and in some respects his way, playing for the house staff, because they were useless, playing for Sebastian, because I was certain that he would never have any understanding for the human heart. Playing for Madame Red, because something had changed that lady that had seemed so kind into a serial killer. Playing for her because she was dead and maybe I could have stopped it if I had just been there.

_Maybe I should've died instead for her. I'm not important to anyone. I don't have family. I wouldn't give anything up, even if I die now._

My fingers stopped playing. I just stared at the keys, trying to stop from feeling down, trying to stop _feeling. _But I knew that that wasn't how the human heart worked.

I needed Sebastian to take it away.

The moment I thought that, I stood up. No. Was that the way how I handled my problems? Run to Sebastian and hope he'd fix them for me?

No. I wasn't going to rely on him anymore. Sebastian clearly wasn't the right person to believe in. The only problem was that I wasn't sure who was.

I walked to my room and stepped inside, letting myself fall into the bed and closing my eyes for a while. Then I realised that I'd seen something strange and I shot back up, staring at the chair in the corner of the room.

On the chair stood a porcelain doll, looking at me with purple eyes.

But the thing that freaked me out was that she looked exactly like me.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I grabbed the doll and walked towards Ciel's office, though I knew that he would not be there yet. I put the doll on his desk, but the moment I wanted to leave, my eyes fell on the newspaper that was laying on the desk.

The headline on the front page was about the murders, the death of Madame Red and that other lady, but it wasn't the headline that interested me. It was one of the other headlines, that directed you to another page. _Mad patient escaped from London Central Asylum._

I froze, knew who it was before I even turned the page to see a photo of a familiar face, but this time, he still had blue eyes.

Drossel Keinz had escaped.

And somehow I knew they would come for me.

And I was correct. As I walked through the corridor I saw Mei-Rin and the police officer – Abberline – walking through the house, clearly looking for something. And with _something_, I meant _me_.

'Ah! Clarissa!' Mei-Rin said. 'T-this man wants to s-speak with you, yes!' she said.

I nodded. 'Police inspector Abberline,' I said as sanely as I could.

'Clarissa Lane,' he said, clearly not happy that he was here on his own. 'I'm h-here to ask you about the events that occurred in the hospital yesterday and when I called your guardian, he said I could find you here.'

'Well, as you can see, Ash was correct,' I said, knowing that the guardian he was talking about wasn't Madame Red. 'But this isn't the place to talk about that. Why don't you come to the living room? We can have our conversation there,' I said, using my secretary-tone, the one I always used when I played secretary for my father.

'S-s-sure,' he answered, following me towards the room that I called 'the living room' even though I wasn't sure if it was a living room. It was just a room with a bench, a tea table, a pool table and a few chairs. I sat down in one of the chairs and Abberline sat down on the bench, looking incredible uncomfortable. The fact that he wasn't wearing his coat anymore told me that Mei-Rin had at least done one aspect of being a maid right.

'As y-y-you might have heard,' he started, playing with the handle of his bag, 'there has been an escape. And the nurse said that she'd seen a girl in the department talking with the escaped patient and the girl she described seemed to be you,' he said, trying to find the right words.

'Yes, I got lost,' I said, not brave enough to tell the truth. 'I did meet a patient there, but aside from the fact that he was singing the whole time, he seemed perfectly fine to me.'

Abberline cleared his throat and then he said something that made me frown: 'This is something that I don't like to say, but you have to know that you are one of the main suspects for this case, since there have been very suspicious incident occurring around your social circles.'

Pfft, as if I even had 'social circles'. 'Such as?'

'The suicide of your father and the murder of Angelina Dalles,' he said, looking incredible guilty as he did.

'Oh?' I said, trying to act as innocent as I could. 'It's not like I could've saved my father from his horrible choice and I don't think I could have done anything to save Angelina either. Poor Ciel,' I added, for dramatic effect.

Even though my act that been really fake, Abberline believed it. 'Yes, I know! And I'm sorry! But Randall told me to ask you about that!' he said as the scribbled down something in this tiny little book.

I sighed. 'Well, I guess it isn't strange that you ask such questions. But believe me, the death of my father wasn't something I would've prevented. Neither was the death of Angelina Dalles.' Though I did believe that I could've saved them. But I didn't. Did that make me a demon?

Now that I think if it, that was something I used to think. That I was a demon, a devil. I had killed my mother, made my father angry and people at school are in the town never seemed to like me. So I was a demon. A demon who nobody could love and could love nobody. That was what I always thought as a child. Had I been wrong? Maybe not, but now I was sure that I at least wasn't a demon. Not literally, in any case.

Abberline cleared his throat again. 'There's another question that I don't want to ask, but need to ask because of the importance for the case,' he said.

That didn't sound too good. 'Okay, let's hear it, then.' If I pretended that I had nothing to hide, maybe he would believe me and go away before Ciel came home. I didn't think that he would appreciate it if he knew that there was a police officer in his home.

'Well… do you have any sort of relationship with Ciel Phantomhive?' he asked, looking more embarrassed than I when I heard the question, though I did blush.

'I do believe me and Ciel have a relationship, but it doesn't go beyond friendship, though.' I believed it wasn't even called 'friendship'. It was more like we were kind of stuck with each other for some reason.

Abberline sighed a relieved sigh, seemed happy that I'd handled that question so well. 'And do you have any sort of relationship with Sebastian Michaelis?' he asked.

That immediately cracked the mood. 'Not really,' I said cranky.

Abberline looked at me with frowned eyebrows. 'I'm sorry, but… could you m-maybe… clarify?'

I sighed, didn't want to talk to anyone about Sebastian. Not even with Sebastian himself. 'Since Sebastian is always with Ciel, it's sort of inevitable that I know him, but he and I don't really have any sort of relationship, no friendship, no hardship.' No common sense was also a thing that me and Sebastian seemed to lack, or in any case I lacked when he tried to seduce me. Oh, hell, not tried. Succeeded. 'Is that everything?' I asked, suddenly really not liking this guy anymore.

'I-I-I believe so,' he said, still writing down stuff.

'Great, because I need to start with my homework,' I said, knowing that when he was gone, I wouldn't do any homework. Not that I didn't have any, it was just that I didn't want to do it after everything that had happened. I was sure the teachers wouldn't mind. Uhum.

I showed Abberline the door and returned to my room after that, only to find the same doll from before on the same spot again.

But I was sure that I'd but it on Ciel's desk.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The white snow fell down, while night was watching over the city. It seemed to be silent in the city, except for the loud footsteps of men, running away and after each other.

The man ran down the street as fast as he could, the gun in his hand seemed that much heavier as he tried to escape.

'Shit! Don't let him get away!' one of the man that was running after him ordered the others. 'Does Tim even know how hard we worked to steal that thing?!' It was incredible that he was able to sound so understandable while he was running so fast, but it seemed as though the younger man that was running away from them was faster.

As the man reached the bridge he stood still, looking at his closed fist, thinking about the thing that was in that fist. He was breathing heavy, but was almost certain that he'd lost the ones who were chasing him.

Then the man started to laugh. 'It's mine now,' he said, a devious smile on his face. 'I won't let anyone else have it.'

Then someone spoke. 'You are not suited for that ring,' a voice as clear as the voice of an angel said. His voice seemed to echo through the city.

Before the man could turn around to face the creature that was standing on the bridge, he felt as though a thousand ropes had caught him and he could feel them pulling tighter and tighter around him, making him bleed.

Then the creature on the bridge suddenly stood closer, but in the darkness it was almost impossible to see its face. 'The Hope piece is searching for a worthy master, you see,' the angelic voice explained, as if that was the most logical thing in the world. His voice had a strange monotone tone, but that was the least of the man's worries right now.

The man only had one worry when the ropes became tighter and tighter.

Death.

As the corpse fell from the bridge into the frozen lake, the man who'd been chasing the man finally reached him, only seeing the dark figure fall from the bridge.

'He jumped!' one of them said, sounding surprised but also a bit impressed.

'That damn fool…' another said, not even looking sad that one of his closest friends until that moment had died. He was angry, he'd lost his treasure.

But none of the three men noticed the other creature on the bridge, maybe because he was already gone, but most likably because his form had been consumed by darkness.

XxX

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter twenty has ended! I can't believe I've already writing twenty chapters!<strong>

**I'm sorry that there isn't any SebxClary stuff in this chapter, but other things were more important now.**

**And since we have come to the part of the story where it is winter, we kind of get a Christmas-special! Though not really, since I won't put in more Christmas than the anime does.**

**wolf-akuma: thank you! :D I'm sorry that it only lasted for a second, but I don't think Clarissa would have dragged it out any longer, since she just did it on impulse (I mean, who wouldn't kiss Sebas-chan on impulse? I know I would)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone! I got 44 followers! How did that happen? I know it may sound like 44 is not that much, but it's more than I ever thought I would get! I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYY!**

**But I still don't Kuroshitsuji. But I do own Clarissa and all of her weirdness.**

**Enjoy chapter twenty-one!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 21**

'Can I ask you something, Sebastian?' Ciel asked as he entered his office, knowing he still had some paperwork to do.

'Of course, my Lord,' he answered.

Ciel knew that that would be his answer and because of that, he almost rolled his eye. But he didn't. 'Can you please stop acting so foolish? Even I know that there's something wrong with you, whether my theory is correct or not, I believe that I do not like this change.'

Sebastian didn't react. Maybe he wasn't sure how to.

Ciel sat in front of his desk and put the walking stick next to him. He picked up the paper of this morning and looked at the article on the front page again. As he did that, he said: 'I do not get much about love and everything that comes with it, but if you feel unsure about it, I think a simple touch should make it clear whether you feel attraction towards the girl or not.' He frowned. 'But if there's something going on that I should worry about, I ask you to tell me now. Because I don't like surprises. Especially if my loyal servant can prevent them.'

Sebastian didn't react for a long time. Then he said: 'Yes, my Lord.' Then his eyes fell on something small but relevant. 'Young Master, could I maybe have that newspaper for a moment?' he asked.

Ciel looked surprised, human news was usually something Sebastian couldn't care less about. 'That's fine, I guess,' he said, handing his butler the paper.

Sebastian turned he page as he frowned, looking at the picture of a young man with ginger hair and blue eyes. The man had a blue tattoo under the right corner of his right eye.

Ciel didn't like the look on Sebastian's face. 'What is it?' he said.

Sebastian knew that he'd have to answer that question, so he handed his master the paper on this right page. 'Drossel Keinz has escaped from the asylum. And I'm quite certain that this man is a childhood friend of Clarissa's.'

Ciel looked at the article for a while. 'So he may become a threat. Not that it matters, this man doesn't look like something you cannot handle. Not that anything looks like that, but… Wait, how do you know about Clarissa's childhood friends?'

Sebastian smiled. 'Humans talk a lot more than other creatures do,' was the only answer Ciel got.

Ciel sighed, closing his eyes for a second before opening them again. 'Go and check on Clarissa, see if she's okay and then return to my room,' he then said.

Sebastian bowed. 'Yes, my Lord.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I went to sleep before Ciel was home. I'd planned to wait for him, but when he didn't come, I decided that, because tomorrow was a school day, it was best to go to sleep.

But in my sleep, nightmares haunted me. Drossel with purple eyes, singing loud in my ears as he pushed me against the wall, ready to go anything to break me. Pictures of the doll in my room, haunting me as I slept. But the worst one was the third nightmare.

Sebastian stood there, in some sort of ruin, holding a unmoving Ciel in his arms. As he looked up at me, his eyes glowed, looking like glowing red cat-eyes. This time I saw that he wasn't wearing his gloves for a change, he had long pale hands with long, dark nails. Everything about the picture screamed 'demon!'. But that wasn't why I was scared, why I felt trapped in a nightmare that seemed all too true. Because Ciel wasn't moving.

And that was Sebastian's fault.

The moment I started to scream was the moment someone pulled me up and started to shake me around. 'Clarissa!' a voice that I really did not want to hear right now said. 'Come on, wake up,' Sebastian said, now sounding like a nanny.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was sitting straight up in bed, but not because I was holding myself straight, but because Sebastian had me in his arms.

Something I really didn't want right now. I pulled free and he let me, not trying to stop me as I pulled away from him and shove to the other side of the bed, as far away from his as I could. 'What are you doing in my room?' I asked, certain that I'd locked the door before I went to sleep, too scared that someone might retrieve his doll at night.

Sebastian sighed. 'Are you really asking a demon how he entered a room? Do you really think walls stop me?'

I didn't answer, because, somehow, I knew that it didn't. Then I realized that it was Monday night and I looked at the clock. 'Oh, shit! It's one in the morning.' I moaned. 'And I have school today too. This will be the worst!'

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'School? What are you talking about? It's Christmas break, Clarissa. Even you should know that.'

I frowned. 'Christmas break? Since when?' He was right, even I should know that. So why didn't I?

He chuckled. 'My oh my, it seems like you're still half asleep. How amusing.' His eyes glowed. 'And how _human_.' Then he got a look in his eyes that I didn't trust and didn't like. And he just stared at me like that.

'Stop doing that,' I said, hearing that my voice indeed sounded like I was still half-asleep.

Sebastian tilted his head. 'Stop doing what?'

I pulled up my legs and wrapped my arms around them, trying to hide my face while also looking at him. 'That brainwash thing you're trying to do to me. I know that you like to mess with people, but I'm not up for it.'

Then a sincere look appeared on his face. 'I'm not doing anything to you,' he said and his words sounded like the truth.

And that was exactly the reason why I didn't believe them. 'Sure you are. You know what you do. You've said so yourself, that you were an amazing seducer. I know it and I'm sure there are a lot other females who know it. And even men, I'd say,' I said and the face he pulled, as if he thought about something disgusting, was a face that I didn't get. But that didn't stop me. 'You confuse me to get what you want and guess what, Sebastian? I'm done with it. Leave me alone or treat me normally, because I'm pretty sure that you're not messing around with Mei-Rin when you're not serving your master or messing with me.'

Sebastian frowned and I saw in his eyes that he knew what I was talking about. 'But I didn't kiss you,' he said.

'That- That doesn't have anything to do with it!' I mumbled, suddenly angry. I wanted to talk about how _he _was messing with _me._ Not how I kissed him in a whim. 'And it was only a second, get over yourself.'

Sebastian shook his head. 'That doesn't seem fair, right? If I have to get over myself, shouldn't you? I've behaved myself rather professionally these last days.'

I didn't say anything. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know what I could say. I was pretty certain that whatever I said, Sebastian knew a way to respond to it.

Then he said something and he sounded like he really didn't want to ask the question, but he didn't sound nervous or unsure. He asked the question as if he asked me what time it was. Only that wasn't the question he asked. 'Do you feel any sort of affection towards me?'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Doesn't any female? I believe we've had this conversation before.'

'No,' he said, shaking his head slowly. 'I do believe we've never talked about this before. You like my looks, so you felt like kissing me?' This question again was asked way too casual, as if we weren't talking about something really embarrassing.

'Of course not,' I grumbled. 'I'm not that shallow.'

'No?' he asked. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes,' I said, because I had asked myself the same question. 'I'm quite sure.'

He shook his head again, this time I wasn't sure why. 'Then I would like to know what you were thinking back then.'

I sighed, really didn't want to admit it. 'Well, it's complicated. Mostly because I _wasn't _thinking, actually…' I scratched the back of my head. 'But, well… I just kind of thought that I wanted to know about your history and about your way of thinking, what demons are like, how they see the human world, though from what I've got from you it seems like you do not like it very much.'

'That sounds like interest,' Sebastian said. 'Not affection.'

Wow. Déjà vu. Have I had this conversation before? 'That may be true,' I admitted and it really felt like I'd heard this before. 'But who says that interest can't grow into something else?' Oh gosh, why did I say that?

Sebastian frowned his eyebrows, as if he hadn't thought of that before. He was silent for a whole while, then he opened his mouth. 'I do believe I need to test something,' he said, sounding determined but also a bit startled.

'Sorry?' That didn't sound fun.

As Sebastian's hand came closer, I shoved even farther away from him. 'What you do think you're doing?' I asked.

'I'm trying to touch you, but you seem unwilling,' he said, as of that surprised him. Had he even listened to everything I'd just said?

'And what are you going to do If you touch me?' I asked, pulling a face that just screamed 'I do not trust you!'.

'I'll pull way and leave the room so you can sleep,' he said, sounding earnest.

I pressed my lips together, but shoved closer to him, making sure that I kept a close distance though. I wasn't sure why he suddenly wanted to touch me and what kind of 'test' that would be, but as long as it was short and he would leave me alone after, I thought it was okay.

He reached out with his right hand, then frowned and pulled it back. He stared at his gloved hand and just as I wanted to ask what was wrong, he removed the glove with his mouth (why not just with his other hand, I don't know) and reached out again.

His hand was just as I'd imagined in my dreams. Pale and with long, sharp, black nails. I wasn't sure how my mind managed to get the image right.

His fingertips touched the right side of my forehead and then, really slowly, travelled down to my cheek. The fingers remained there and I had to keep myself from shivering under his touch. Then his finger started moving again, down to my neck, where the fingertips stopped on my collar-bone. All this happened with Sebastian having a calculating expression on his face, as if he was doing math in his head.

'What?' I asked as he kept looking at me like that. I wasn't sure what his test was supposed to reveal, so I wasn't sure if this was it or not.

Then he pulled his hand back and put his glove back on before I even had the change to blink. But before I could ask anything else, he was gone.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When I woke up the next morning, I was pretty sure that I'd been dreaming all the events of last night. It seemed the only logical option to me.

But then who put my alarm clock off?

Okay, so maybe I had forgotten to put it on, that could be it, but that wouldn't explain why there was a note on my alarm clock that said: '_It's Christmas break._' It clearly was Sebastian's handwriting, though I was not sure how I knew that.

I took all the time of the world to get ready. It was 11 am and I had nowhere to go. Maybe I did have to go and pick up all my stuff that was still in Madame Red's house. Though I was happy to find that Sebastian actually had gotten me some clothes from her house, so that I didn't have to wear the same clothes another day.

Then, suddenly, my phone rang, making me rush from the bathroom to my room in only half of my clothes on. My pants and underwear were on, but I still had my hoodie in my hands. I picked up, seeing that it was again an unknown number. 'Yes?'

'_Yes?_' Ciel said, 'that's not a proper way to answer your phone. You should at least say your name.'

I sighed. 'Hello, this is Clarissa speaking. Can I help you?' I said, sounding more like secretary than any secretary I'd ever met or seen in movies.

Now Ciel was the one to sigh. 'Yes. Get ready, we'll leave in 30 minutes. Make sure you're eaten something by then. We're not stopping for lunch.'

'Um,' I said. 'Where are we going?'

'We're going to grab your belongings and to a Christmas fair.' Ciel didn't really sound happy about either of those things.

But if it was the Christmas fair that was always on the frozen Thames, then I was excited. I never got to go there, but I always heard about it. 'Oh. Okay. I'll be in the kitchen in five, is there breakfast?'

'I'll let Sebastian make something for you. But please, behave yourself today. I'm not in for your weirdness today,' he indeed sounded like he wasn't. Not that he ever was, but I decided not to say that.

'Geez, Ciel,' I said, 'I can make a sandwich myself, you know.'

'Well, maybe I just don't trust you in my kitchen without an adult watching over you,' he reacted.

'Ouch,' I said, but he had already hung up.

I pulled on the hoodie, checked if my hair was covering my scar and then hurried outside, hoping I was in the kitchen before Sebastian was.

Which of course wasn't the case. He was already making… pancakes?

I moaned. 'Please, Sebastian, just give me cereal or something. I'm going to get really fat if you keep on baking sweets for me.'

Sebastian turned around and smiled a polite smile. 'I'm very sorry, miss Lane, but we do not have any cereal. And it would be a shame if these pancakes go to waste.'

'I'm pretty sure Baldroy would _love _to have them,' I said, trying to behave as though I had never kissed him or dreamed of him.

'I'm pretty sure you would _love _to have them as well,' he said, shoving the plate with pancakes towards me. 'The Nutella stands on the table,' he then said right before I could ask.

A smile appeared on my face. Why was I worried? I should have known that Sebastian would treat me befittingly. After all, he was one hell of a butler.

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><p>XxX<p>

'I see. The 'Frost fair' is a fitting name indeed,' Sebastian said as we walked down, on the lake, entering the market full of shops and games.

'I heard that this is the biggest Frost Fair yet!' I said excited, loving the fair before I even entered the fair. I had forgotten all my worries as soon as I saw the large fair. 'They have been doing this for hundreds of years, but previous years it wasn't save enough, so the scale wasn't that impressive, but now they decided to go all out! Did you know that this year, the Frost Fair has been existing for 200 years? Doesn't that sound really really old?'

Sebastian pressed his lips together and Ciel observed me with boredom. 'You really love this stuff, don't you?' he asked.

'Yes!' I said happily. 'Though I don't like the fact that it's at the foot of the London Bridge. I mean, what if it break down again?'

Sebastian chuckled. 'The bridge is perfectly fine, it won't break down again.' But I heard that he muttered 'probably' after his sentence, making me only worry more.

But I forgot that when I saw an ice sculpture of the Queen. 'That's so cool!' I said, running towards it with the excitement of a child.

Ciel came to stand next to me as I looked at the old looking lady. 'You've never been here before, have you?'

I shook my head. 'Did you really think that that good for nothing father of me would take me?' I sighed. 'And my grandmother didn't really go out much. I've never been to many places before. School and home are the only places, actually.'

Then my attention was draw to someone who screamed: 'Hey, hey! I'm selling this cheap enough to even blow Jack Frost away! Why not buy one for Christmas?'

Well, even though it got my attention, it Was Ciel who actually walked up to it to take a look, while staying a safe distance away from the stand to that the man selling wouldn't approach him. A strange smile had appeared on his face and I walked up to him to ask him what's wrong when Sebastian already did that for me. 'What is it, my Lord?'

Ciel sounded amused while he spoke. 'Those are all inferior goods. If the river freezes next years, the Funtom company could set up a shop.'

I had almost forgotten that Ciel was not only my classmate and a strange noble, but he was also the boss of the Funtom company. He was a businessman. I tend to forget that.

Ciel went on talking, pointed with his walking stick to a toy Noah's ark that was standing on one of the tables. 'For example that's-'

Which wasn't smart. The salesman noticed the walking stick immediately. 'Ah, sir, you have a good eye!' I wasn't sure whether that was an insult or not. 'That's a fine piece from the Funtom Workshop. In other words, from when the popular Funtom Company was still a craft studio.'

I had to keep myself from laughing. Did this man have any idea who he was talking to?

Ciel wasn't amused anymore. Now he just seemed bored and only a little bit angry. 'A blatant fake one, you mean,' he said monotone. 'The Funtom Arks are rare. Only three sets were ever made, by an artist my predecessor patronized who used the finest technology. Since our mansion burned down, even we no longer have one.' He said it so casual, as if the fact that his house had burned down, taking his parents with him, was something normal. Like the weather. 'They certainly wouldn't turn up here,' he said, closing his statement.

'Noah's Ark is like this nation itself,' Sebastian said, making me and Ciel look up at him with a confused look in our eyes.

'What?' me and Ciel said at the same time.

Sebastian looked at Ciel as he explained. 'A boat led by a single skipper,' he said, looking surprisingly serious. 'The only ones saved are a select few.' Then an amused smile appeared on his face, as if what he'd said made him happy or something. 'It's an arrogant idea.'

Wait… had Sebastian just insulted the Queen? Ciel made an angry sound and opened his mouth to say something to Sebastian when a familiar face appeared.

'You guys…' Abberline said, looking at us as if it was really strange that we were here.

Ciel now pointed his anger and annoyance towards Abberline instead of Sebastian. 'If a Scotland Yard inspector has time to frivol about here, I suppose there must be peace in London… for today.' He sounded like himself would put an end to that.

Abberline looked angry, as if Ciel was seriously accusing him of something. 'I'm not frivolling! I'm on duty!' he said, for the first time sounding angry.

Ciel wasn't impressed. 'Oh, my. Well, then, inspector, earn your wages in faithful service to Queen and country.'

I started to think that Ciel had a unhealthy obsession with the Queen.

Ciel turned his back to the inspector, starting to walk away when Abberline said: 'Wait, I still have questions for you two!'

That made Ciel turn around. 'Us two?' he asked, giving me a glance. 'And about which two are you talking about?'

'You,' he said, 'and miss Lane.' When I gave him my 'please shut up now'-face, he frowned. 'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that you knew…'

'That I knew what?' Ciel said, now sounding angry. The kind of angry that you only heard when someone who always pulled the strings had missed some of the strings and those puppets were now dancing on their own.

I slapped myself in the face. This was going to be a very long day.

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><p>XxX<p>

**So that was chapter twenty-one!**

**Miyoko-tan **& **Shadow demon Kitsune: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! :D**

**Effervescent Ocean****: That would have worked, too! Ha ha, I actually really like their version too :)**

**Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! See you next time!**


	22. Chapter 22

**So I was drinking tea while writing this chapter and then I almost poured tea all over my laptop… Glad that didn't happen!**

**And I'm really, really, really tired, but wanted this chapter to be finished so that I could start with a really exciting chapter tomorrow, so this chapter isn't that great, since it was a little rushed and there are probably a lot of typos as well, since I'm tired… So sorry about that. I'll probably fix this chapter soon.**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. I think. Nope, I definitely don't.**

**But I do own Clarissa.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 22**

'So, what's a detective from Scotland Yard doing here, Inspector Abberline?' Ciel asked.

Me, Ciel and Abberline were sitting in some sort of Chinese shop on the Fair and were – of course – drinking tea. This had been Ciel's idea, but me and Abberline both didn't seem to like it as much. I didn't because I was scared that Ciel would be mad that I hadn't told him about the little meeting in the hospital and Abberline probably didn't because he had work to do. Anyway, Ciel didn't care about that.

Sebastian wasn't with us, he'd gone to Madame Red's house to pick up my belongings. I felt somewhat relieved that he was gone for a few minutes.

Abberline put his tea down and frowned. 'A man's corpse was discovered underneath the ice this morning,' he explained, making me only more unsure about the Frost Fair.

Ciel ate one of the cookies that they'd put on the table for us, not bothered by this subject of death at all. Maybe the way the acted was also a way to make Abberline talk more.

'He was a member of a certain criminal organisation,' Abberline went on, 'we're are currently looking for the killer and the ring he stole.'

I decided to follow Ciel's example and grabbed a cookie.

Then Abberline said: 'There's a blue diamond set in the ring that's supposedly worth 2000 quid.'

When I heard the amount of many, I nearly dropped the cookie into my tea. '2000 quid for a ring?' I asked, not believing him while also believing him.

Then someone standing next our table joined the conversation. 'The diamond… the gemstone that gleams in eternal radiance,' Lau said, making me roll my eyes. A Chinese shop, with sexy waitresses and a strange smell. I should've known. 'Legend has it that those bewitched by its sparkle are compelled to pursue it even when they know only destruction awaits.'

Abberline was so shocked that he shoot up from his chair. 'How do you know about the Hope piece?!' he asked, of course thinking that he got himself a suspect, which both me and Ciel knew wasn't true.

Still Ciel seemed shocked, but about something else. 'The Hope piece?' he repeated, sounding surprised.

Then Lau pulled an innocent and dumb face while hugging that girl he was always with. I believe her name began with an 'R'. 'Hmm? What's this? So there really is a jewel like that? Oh, my…'

Ciel looked annoyed, but not surprised. Abberline looked unsure. And I just looked how I always looked when Lau entered the picture. A look full of disapproval.

'What?' Abberline said. 'But-but you just said-'

I sighed and Ciel interrupted him. 'He was just blathering. Don't give him attention. Never mind that. Lau, what are you doing here?' he asked, making me confused. Wait, I figured it out before Ciel did?

Awesome.

Lau still had that dumb look on his face as he said: 'I own his place.'

Ciel looked at me, realised that I had realised that already and pulled a face that showed annoyance. 'I see,' he said.

Abberline sat back down again, knowing that this guy wasn't very helpful for his investigation.

'Say,' Lau said, 'this "Hope" thing sounds very interesting, my Lord. Will you tell me more?' He asked, sitting down on the fourth chair on our table, the girl immediately on his lap the moment he sat down.

Ciel put down his tea and sighed. 'You've never heard about the blue diamond that we call the Hope because it was part of Henry Philip Hope's collection?'

Well, I sure didn't. Was I supposed to know that? It didn't seem like common knowledge.

'Nope,' Lau said, making sure that we'd have to listen to some sort of historical boring story. Great. Talking with Ciel did not only turn my life around, it also brought more education into my life. Not something I could be happy about.

'Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette… It's known as a diabolical stone that's passed through the hands of many owners and driven them all to ruin. Then, after being stolen yet again, the diamond was cut to disguise it, producing smaller pieces. They say only two pieces of the Hope diamond exist. Is one of those the ring you're searching for, Abberline?'

Abberline didn't answer the question immediately, but he did talk, looking at the table as he did. 'Explosives were used on a carriage transporting evidence, and it was stolen,' he said, making the answer a clear 'yes' without actually saying it.

Ciel had forgotten all about his tea now and leaned forward, seemed truly interested. 'Interesting. Give me details, I'll lend you a hand in this.' Abberline's mouth dropped open, making a not really joyful smile appear on Ciel's face. 'Naturally I won't force you,' he said, making me roll my eyes. _Naturally_. Yeah, right. 'But Sir Arthur might find himself in a rather awkward position.' And there is was. The reason why Abberline was going to help Ciel no matter if he used force or not.

Abberline nodded. 'I do believe I cannot give you the details, but I know a man who can, since he was the one who takes care of the de-'

Ciel interrupted him, knowing exactly who Abberline was talking about. 'Ah, if it's the Undertaker we're talking about, then we'll visit him shortly. But first I would like to know why you wanted to talk to me and miss Lane.'

Oh no.

Abberline scratched the back of his head. 'Well, Randall wanted me to ask some more questions… Not only because you're an owner of the other Hope piece, but also because we found out that Drossel Keinz might be the one behind the murder.'

I froze. Ciel frowned. 'At what does Drossel Keinz have to do with me?' he asked, giving me a glance. Oh, shit. Did he already know? _Sebastian, you traitor._

'Well, we looked into Drossel Keinz and we figured out that he'd lived with miss Lane's grandmother for a few years and well, that made Clarissa a bit suspicious. Not only because she hadn't told that during our previous meeting, but also because now, Sir Keinz is a suspect in a murder case, making her a suspect in this case, too.'

I could slap myself. Great, so now people were suspecting me of a murder I _didn't _committed, while they didn't seem to worry about the murder that I had _possibly _committed.

Ciel laughed. 'I assure you that miss Lane is absolutely innocent, why would her being a childhood friend of Sir Keinz make her a suspect?'

'Because… he really doesn't know, does he?' Abberline asked me nervously.

I shook my head and then decided that I could best explain to Ciel. 'While you were in the hospital I got lost' – I left Ash out of the story for now – 'and ended in the cellar, where I had a short encounter with Drossel before a nurse sent him back to his room.'

Ciel frowned, not sure what to think of this new information. 'Then I do believe that they have a good reason to suspect you,' he then said and after that he stood up, clearly finishing the conversation on his own terms. 'I'm bored. Let's get going.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The only think Abberline had to do was to stroll inside the Undertaker's shop and introduce himself as the police inspector that he was.

The Undertaker started laughing as if Abberline was the funniest person in the world. 'You're amazing!' he said, pointing at the confused police inspector. 'I tell you, you're in the wrong business!'

That was something I, unfortunately, did agree with.

'You could rule the world of comedy!' the Undertaker then said.

That was something I, fortunately, did not agree with.

Lau came to stand next to me. 'So. Where are we?'

'Are you serious?!' I asked. 'We're at the Undertaker's shop! You've been here, like, two days ago!'

Lau did seem to remember it now. 'Aaah.'

I rolled my eyes. Geez, what was with that guy? Did he have a short term memory or was he dumb on purpose?

'What did you do?' Ciel asked Abberline as he walked in behind me, Sebastian and Lau. That girl hadn't come with us.

Abberline looked absolutely shocked. 'I-I was just conversing normally, but out of nowhere he…'

The Undertaker started to laugh again, as if only the sound of Abberline's voice was too much for him to handle.

Ciel clenched his teeth. 'Abberline, you are a man to be feared,' he said, but I wasn't sure if it was meant as a joke or not.

Even Sebastian looked down, but more in a 'I will slowly kill you' way then in a 'you just eat my cake' kind of way. 'It appears you are rather skilled, Inspector,' he said, his voice colder then ice.

I giggled. He couldn't be serious, right? The glance he gave me only showed me that he actually was, which made me giggle again.

'Tell me about the ring, Undertaker,' Ciel said, ignoring the angry looks Sebastian was giving Abberline. 'If you have the frozen corpse, then you should have it!'

The Undertaker didn't give an answer, he just kept giggling.

Abberline decided it was a good idea to partake in the conversation. 'It might be buried near where the body was found. As an upstanding citizen of London, I call on you to cooperate with us.'

I was happy that that didn't make the Undertaker laugh again, though he was still giggling while he said: 'I'm profoundly impressed, inspector. I'll tell you about it. The ring is…' A smile appeared on his face, a smile that looked way too happy for the situation we were in.

'Stop being mysterious and say it! Where is the ring?!' I asked, because now I was getting impatient.

The Undertaker laughed. 'You've already laid your eyes on the ring, little miss!' he said, still smiling that strange smile.

'Oh, really? And when and where was that?' I asked, pulling up an eyebrow.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Abberline was doing a pretty impressive '_scream_'-impression while we were standing in front of the Queen Victoria ice sculpture.

Ciel looked grumpy, Sebastian looked neutral and Lau smiled dumb. 'It looks like the artist found the frozen ring and designed the sculpture to compliment it.'

Abberline had his mind together by then. 'Collect it!' he screamed at some police men that were standing under the London bridge, smoking. 'Right now!'

The men dropped their cigarettes and ran over to the sculpture. 'Yes, sir!' they said, reaching towards the ring.

'What are you doing?!' an angry voice screamed from behind us.

We all turned around to see a group rich people, most of them were old (and fat), but one of them was surprisingly handsome. And also looked surprisingly familiar.

Aleister Chamber was standing there, completely dressed in white. He even had a white rose in his hands. 'That is the sacred lady bestowed on the victor,' he said and I wasn't sure if he was talking to us or to his rose. Then he kissed the rose and finally looked at us. Well, at _me. _'You mustn't touch her.'

While the group rich people explained why the police couldn't just destroy the sculpture, Sebastian had to physically restrain me from attacking Aleister and gouging his eyes out. Which was something that I really had planned on doing.

It was clear that these people, whoever they were, weren't doing to let us take the ring without protest and I knew that Ciel hated making a scene, so we just stood there. Eventually I calmed down and Sebastian let me go.

But then Aleister Chamber smiled and pulled the finger of Queens Victoria – as well as the ring – free from the sculpture, handing it to me. 'An apology for the fair lady,' he said, giving me a wink.

Sebastian grabbed my shoulders, ready to stop me if I would try to attack him. Which I didn't. I kept myself in check. After all, we'd got what we wanted. I put the ring (and the ice-finger that came with it) in the pocket of my coat and said: 'If that was all, shall we go then?' I felt kind of badass that I was the on who'd gotten the ring, Who needs who, Ciel Phantomhive?

Ciel and Abberline frowned. 'That's evidence, miss Lane,' Abberline said. 'You're not supposed to keep it.'

I shook my head. 'I won't. But I do believe that the last owner ended up under the frozen lake, so someone if after this thing. I thought that it would be a smart way to find the killer if I kept it. The one to attack me is the owner. Does that sound like a plan?' I was already feeling like a badass right now, but that wasn't the only reason that I volunteered. I also did that because there was a chance that Drossel was behind this and if it was, I was sure I could talk him out of it. Or I could trust Ciel that he would order Sebastian to save me. I felt in any case save enough to volunteer. And if I really wanted to become part of the Phantomhive Queen Guard Dog Team (the P.Q.G.T?) then I supposed that this was the way to do it.

'Yes,' Ciel said, the same time when Abberline said: 'No.' Then Abberline added: 'You're way too long. This is something Scotland Yard should handle.' He pulled out his hand and kept it in front of me. 'Give me the ring.'

I looked over at Ciel, waiting for approval. Wait… when had I become Ciel's minion?

Ciel closed his eye and nodded, said that it was okay to give it away without words.

I sighed and reached into the pocket of my coat, which was now wet because of the melted ices. But I didn't find the ring. I frowned as I looked up. 'The ring's gone,' I said, sounding completely shocked.

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><p>XxX<p>

He walked towards the room upstairs, opening the door while sounding like old stairs. 'So I thought to myself that the Hope piece has found a new keeper on his own, my master,' he said in a strange mantra, while bowing for the man that was sitting in the chair, looking out the window, looking at the city that seemed so boring but also so interesting.

The man closed his eyes while contentedly humming a song. 'Hold on, my dear child. My chess pieces finally start moving. Soon it will all be… over,' he said, smiling a devious smile as he started to sing out loud: '_London is burning down, burning down, burning down. London is burning down, my fair lady._'

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><p>XxX<p>

**That was chapter twenty-two. Sorry if it was a bit short, but I couldn't drag this chapter out any longer.**

**justaislinn: ha ha, me too! I also always say 'Shieru Fantomhivu' instead of 'Ciel Phantomhive', because that's the way they say it in the anime. It's also easier to say it that way for me, since the Dutch accent and Japanese accent have a lot in common when it comes to pronunciation, so that's a plus for me!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Merry Christmas (a bit late, but yeah) and a Happy New Year (a bit early, but yeah)! I'm not sure whether I will update before Wednesday or not, so I'm say it now just in case.**

**This actually isn't the exciting chapter that I was talking about before, because after some thinking I wanted to do this (bit of a filler) chapter.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

**Enjoy chapter twenty-three, everyone! Love you guys! And sorry for the typos (again)**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 23**

I was really happy that Ciel trusted me (or actually Sebastian, since he told Ciel that I really didn't have the ring on me anymore, without having to do a body search, which was both a blessing and a shame), just sighed and then said that we still had some time to walk around the Frost Fair.

But my happy-time was kind of done by now. Certainly after the ring-disappearing accident. I usually wouldn't have believed such bullshit, but with demons making contracts with little children, I left like anything could happen.

But what really killed the mood was walking around with Sebastian. All the girls stared, whether they recognized him or not, and if they did, they asked Ciel and Sebastian if they could take a picture with them. Luckily for me, Ciel never agreed and Sebastian also always declined saying 'my Lord doesn't want any pictures to be taken from either him or me' so that worked out. But it was still _really _annoying.

The other thing that was not only annoying, but wasn't something I liked was the fact that there was some on this market, a musician or something, that was playing _London bridge is falling down_ over and over again. I didn't always hear it and I never saw the musician, but from time to time I would hear the melody and I would freeze for a few seconds before getting myself back together and continue to walk.

When Ciel finally decided to go home, it was because Sebastian had said that he wanted to make preparations for lunch.

Though I really did doubt that that was the reason why Sebastian wanted to leave. Even though he was polite towards everyone who talked to him, I could almost _feel _his annoyance over simple teenage girls. And honestly, I didn't blame him.

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><p>XxX<p>

I followed Sebastian towards the kitchen as he went there, not because I wanted to stalk him, but because I thought of a response to his words from earlier in the car.

'Hey, Seb,' I said, too lazy to say his whole name.

'Yes, my Lady?' he answered as he started to get ingredients out of the fridge.

I went to sit of the table in the kitchen again, ignoring the fact that there were chairs. 'You said that Noah was arrogant, right?' I asked, sweeping my legs up and down and up and down, blocking his way so that he couldn't reach the pans.

'Hmm, yes, I do believe I've said that,' he said as he grabbed my legs and put them on the table, turning me around in the process. 'What about it?'

I waited for a while, thought about how to say it. 'Don't you think it's more arrogant, not to mention foolish, to think you can save everyone?'

Sebastian was silent for about three seconds before answering. 'So it would seem,' he said. 'Too humans, certainly.' He was already busy preparing Ciel's lunch.

I frowned. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

He turned around, looked at me with a strange look in his eyes. 'Well, a human wouldn't be able to save everyone, but a demon would be able to.'

'And maybe that's exactly why demons have that sort of power and humans don't,' I said, wanting to – for once – be smarter than him. 'Because demons can handle such power. I human could most probably not.'

'Oh?' Sebastian said leaving the lunch to stand close to me. 'You think a demon can handle such power?'

I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. 'Don't you think so?'

A amused smile appeared on his face. 'Maybe I do, but I never thought you would think that. Most certainly since you know about my contract with Ciel.'

That reminded me of I question that I wanted to ask. 'Ciel has a seal of your contract on his eye.' I frowned. 'Or in his eye. I'm not really sure.' I shook my head. 'What I don't get is, why don't you?'

Sebastian's smile faded and he turned to the kitchen counter again. 'I do have one,' he said. 'It's just not on or in my eye. The only reason he was it close to his eye is because it makes him easier to find. A seal close to the eye makes it impossible to run from a demon.' His words were cold, but he didn't sound like he was proud, as I thought he would. He just sounded casual, as if he was explaining math to me.

'Where's your seal?' I asked, hoping that I wasn't asking an indecent question.

Sebastian waved with his left hand and that was the only answer I got from him.

But I wasn't going to accept that as an answer.

I grabbed his gloved hand, turning him around in the process. He looked at me surprised, but allowed me to take the glove off. I kind of felt like Tarzan, when he took Jane's glove.

The hand was pale and had black nails, just like his right hand. But his right hand didn't have a mark on him.

It was actually pretty much the same as the mark on Ciel's eyes, only this was black and looked more like a tattoo or something. My fingers went across the mark, but it felt normal. Well, normal for Sebastian's skin, since that didn't feel all to normal. It felt like I was touching something incredible soft and-

I stopped thinking and dropped the hand, but held onto the glove. 'Is that why you wear these?' I asked. 'To hide the mark? Just like Ciel covers his eye with an eye-patch?'

He nodded, taking the glove out of my hands. While he put the glove back on he said: 'It's also part of the traditional butler attire. I wouldn't be worthy of the house of Phantomhive if I wasn't even dressed properly.'

'Ciel isn't dressed properly,' I murmured, but he ignored that.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'I bet you would _love _this story,' Ciel said the next morning, handing me a magazine that didn't look like his usual read.

And a very familiar face was on the front page.

'Wait, why am I on the front cover? And why with that awful Aleister?!' I said, immediately opening the magazine to look for the article.

_Does Aleister Chamber, who was released from prison just a few days ago because of lach of evidence and good behaviour, have a knew love interest? We all might think so after yesterday's drama. Poor Sebastian is going to get some competition._

_The details are still unclear, but we know that Aleister gave Clarissa a silver ring yesterday at the frost fair, which got him into trouble later on. Well, Aleister, maybe you shouldn't have ripped a finger from an ice sculpture's body to impress a lady?_

_But what's going on with Sebastian and Clarissa? Or is it Clarissa and Ciel? Who is after Clarissa and which one will Clarissa chose? I'm just saying it now, I'm team Ciel. Because Sebastian is better off single (all the girls would be heartbroken if he ever stopped being just that) and Aleister is a pervert. _

'God!' I screamed, throwing the magazine on the ground. 'That's just bullshit!' Me and Ciel? I rather gauge my eyes out. 'Why are you two laughing?!' I asked angry when I saw that Sebastian and Ciel were chuckling.

'This is what you have to deal with if you want to keep hanging around me, Clarissa,' Ciel said. 'I don't mind and Sebastian is ordered not to mind. So please, ignore the gossip. Though I must admit that I think your reaction is rather amusing, it can also be annoying.'

I frowned and looked at my breakfast, not feeling hungry anymore. 'I still don't get why it isn't bothering you.'

'Why should it?' Ciel asked, pulling up an eyebrow. 'It isn't like what they are saying is true, nor do I care. They can say about me what they want, as long as they don't humiliate me. The moment that magazine is saying something about me that I cannot ignore, I will make sure to kill everyone responsible.'

The saddest part was that he was actually serious.

I looked at Sebastian. 'I should've known that it wouldn't bother you, but that doesn't mean that I'm not surprised.'

An amused smile appeared on the demon's face. 'I couldn't care less about what humans think of me.'

I sighed. 'I know, I know. And I don't necessarily care either, but it _does _bother me. I mean… Aleister? Really? _Aleister?! _Do they kind I'm stupid?!'

'Yes,' Ciel said. 'Quite correctly I'm afraid.'

I pulled a sour face. 'Thanks a lot, kid.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I went outside after breakfast, not wanting to look at Ciel or Sebastian because the article was still flowing in my mind like some sort of ghost, who was torturing me from the inside.

I found Mei-Rin and Finnian in the garden, they looked surprisingly sad. 'What's going on?' I asked as I walked down the stairs that led towards them.

'Why can't we celebrate?' Finnian asked no one in particular. 'Tomorrow is…'

'It's a special occasion,' Mei-Rin said when Finnian didn't finish. 'So I wish it could me flashy and lively and fun, yes!'

I wasn't sure what they were talking about. 'What do you mean? Christmas is still far away. We still have ten days to go.'

Mei-Rin shook her head. 'We're not talking about Christmas, Clarissa. We're talking about an more important and more special occasion, yes!'

But before I could ask what this 'more important and more special occasion' was, I car drove towards us with a speed that was really dangerous. Most certainly since the road towards the mansion wasn't exactly fantastic quality.

The car stopped right before us and a familiar face jumped out. 'I'm here!' Elizabeth said, smiling happily.

I looked at Finnian and Mei-Rin, because I knew that their reactions were going to be hilarious. 'Lady Elizabeth!' they screamed in unison, sounding nervous but also really terrified.

Elizabeth's maid stepped out of the car as well, dressed in a brown coat and wearing a black hat that looked surprisingly cute.

I was surprised that I was the first one Elizabeth attacked. '_Clarissaaaa_!' she screamed. 'I've missed you _sooooooo_ much!' Then she released me. 'Where's Ciel?'

'Inside, I guess,' I said, but before I even finished she was already running up the stairs, hurrying to see Ciel. I wasn't sure why, but I ran after her, still not understanding how Ciel managed to like this girl, since he was always so easily annoyed and bored.

As she opened the door, which I unlocked as I walked out a few minutes ago, I saw Ciel walking up the big stairs in the entrance hall.

Ciel didn't even have time to turn around. Elizabeth ran towards him and spun him around while laughing a laugh that only children could laugh. This all happened while I was just standing in the entrance hall with the maid and Sebastian was standing next to Ciel and Elizabeth, just observing Elizabeth's enthusiasm.

Then Elizabeth realised Ciel and grabbed something from her purse that looked like a ring. That wouldn't been strange, except for the fact that we'd all seen that ring before. 'Ciel, I found this at home. It's yours, right?'

I walked up the stairs now, but only to be able to look at the ring properly. But it definitely was the ring that I'd lost yesterday. How the hell did it end up in Elizabeth's house?

As Ciel but out his hand to take the ring, Elizabeth grabbed his hand. 'Huh? I thought this was the ring! If this isn't the ring then it must be one of my parents' rings!' she said, immediately putting the ring back into her pocket. 'Aw, that's a shame! Now I really don't have anything for your birthday!'

I froze and Ciel frowned. 'Birthday?' I repeated, suddenly understanding Finnian and Mei-Rin's words.

Of course, I got ignored. 'But you see,' Elizabeth said, 'I didn't want to buy anything because a proper lady wouldn't try to win her gentleman with material things! That's disgraceful!' Then she smiled a smile way too innocent for my eyes. 'Well, then, good afternoon!' she then said, pulling her and her maid out of the house before anyone could argue.

'What was that about?' Ciel mumbled, a hand in his hair.

'Birthday?' I said, looking at him with one eyebrow pulled up.

He sighed. 'It's not important. What's important is that she somehow managed to get some sort of replica of a Hope Piece in her house.'

'You think that was a replica?' I asked, frowning.

'Of course it was,' Ciel said, talking to me as if I was stupid. 'The real Hope piece is probably in the Themes right now, because _someone _dropped it.'

'I didn't drop it,' I said, 'and I'm quite sure that that was the actual Hope piece. I don't know much, but I'm pretty sure about that.'

Ciel sighed. 'Even so, I have no orders from the Queen to return the piece to his rightful owners, so I won't bother myself with trivia like that.'

I sighed too, then decided to change the subject. 'Birthday?' I asked for the third time, hoping that this time, I would get more of a reaction.

Which I did get. Just not from Ciel. 'Tomorrow is your birthday,' Sebastian said, talking to Ciel. 'Well, Young Master? Why not hold a birthday party? After all, it seems there are others who wish to celebrate, too.'

Well, I actually didn't really want to go to a birthday party. Not because I didn't like Ciel, just because I didn't like parties. But that wasn't such a nice thing to say, so I just kept my mouth shut.

I saw a lot of emotions flash across Ciel's face and none of them were happy. That made me frown and also a bit sad. I understood why a boy such as Ciel wouldn't like his birthday. I hated mine ever since I was small. But it seemed to be more than that. 'My birthday…' was the only thing Ciel said. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. But when he finally snapped out of it, he didn't say anything else. He just walked away.

'Young Master?' Sebastian asked, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew what was going on in Ciel's mind.

'This is nonsense,' Ciel then said, lost every emotion that he had the past few minutes. 'Bring tea to my room,' he added as he walked off.

Sebastian just smiled. 'Very good, my Lord.' Then he stood straight to look at me, but the look on his eyes made me from. He didn't look happy. He almost looked sad, as if something had cost him grief.

That was strange because I never thought that sadness was something that Sebastian could feel. Or anyone could make him feel.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Paula and Elizabeth were stuck in traffic.

'Ah, well, at least we can look at all the people on the street,' Paula said, looking out of the window. 'Look, young lady! A dog! So cute!'

'Paula,' Elizabeth said, sounding surprisingly sad.

'Yes, young lady?' she asked, smiling a smile that women her age almost never smiled, but Paula seemed to smile like that all the time.

A sad smile appeared on Elizabeth's face. 'You always seem so happy,' she then says.

The bright smile on Paula's face disappeared immediately. 'I apologize, my lady!' she said, sounding extremely apologetic.

The sad smile remained on the girl's face. 'No, I'm not criticizing. You just seem so cheerful, with no cares in the world. I envy you.'

The maid didn't understand. 'B-but you're usually… that is, I mean to say…' She clearly wasn't sure how to say the thing she wanted to say. She decided that it would be best to just change the subject. 'At any rate, this traffic is really at a standstill, isn't it? What will we do if we're stuck until nightfall?'

Elizabeth wasn't listening anymore. She stared at the ring in her hands, which had started to glow. But it wasn't glowing for her.

As she heard a familiar melody in her ears she looked to the right, were an organ grinder was standing in the shadows of a dark alley. She stared at the man, seeing how he faded away when he melody disappeared.

She got out of the car, ignoring her maid, who was still talking and not looking at her, and followed the melody that seemed to be playing only in her head, with the ring in her hand as if it was her most precious possession.

She'd started to run now, chasing after the melody of the organ grinder as if it was her only hope. She stood still when she found a little shop. _Angel's Wing Antique. _Without hesitating she walked to the display window and looked at the dolls that were exhibit there. The one she stared at was a doll with blond hair and blue eyes that looked really sad for some reason. Then she just walked into the store, but hesitated as she entered.

Dolls. Dolls everywhere. More dolls wherever she looked. And it weren't dolls that you saw in the normal toy shops, this were dolls that looked like the dolls from old England, from before things as plastic existed.

The moment she closed the door was the moment the melody stopped.

'Welcome,' the organ grinder said, surprisingly monotone. He was sitting in a chair across the room, with the small organ on his lap and a expressionless face.

When he didn't say anything else, Elizabeth was forced to open her mouth. 'E-er,' she began, but then the man stood up and started to talk, almost as if he'd waited for her to say something so that he could interrupt her.

'That ring,' he said, 'what a shame. I did not select you as the owner,' but even though he said it was a shame, he sounded really indifferent about it. A normal human would start to wonder if this man could feel anything. He walked up to the girl and bowed down so that he could look her in the eyes properly. 'However, your eyes…' He reached out his hand, seeing the opportunities of such green eyes. They would look fantastic in one if his dolls.

Elizabeth did not get what the man was trying to say. 'E-Er… Ciel is the only boy I…'

The man didn't seem to listen. 'Your eyes have a very deep, sorrowful colour,' he said, surprising the little girl before him. 'I can tell… you are very sad,' he said, only coming closer to her, almost as if he wanted to touch her sadness and sorrow.

As the music started again, it seemed like the sad dolls in the room started to smile. It did not occur to the girl that an organ couldn't play without its grinder. It did not occur to the girl that her maid was looking for her.

It did not occur to anyone that this man wasn't alive anymore.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**The end (of this chapter)!**

**D8nise: thank you! And a Merry Christmas to you, too! :)**

**wolf-akuma: Jup :) Though things might be different now, since Pluto isn't here (which I do not regret, I love him, but I had no idea how I could work him into the story in a way that would work)**

**Guest: thank you! Love to hear that people enjoy the story!**

**I actually finally had time to watch the Book of Circus season-thingy and I have to be honest and say that I liked it a hundred times more than season 2. Mostly because it followed the manga and I love the manga. And I cried! I almost never cry! Okay, I cried quite a lot during episode 23 and 24 of season 1, but that doesn't matter! It was sad!**

**I also really liked the opening and ending. The first time I saw them, I wasn't sure about them, but now I really love them! Especially the opening between 00:20 and 00:40, that just makes me shiver every single time (because it's awesome. And because Sebastian really does scare me from time to time). **

**Which reminds me of something. When I watched Kuroshitsuji for the first time, I loved explaining the story in a strange way to my friends, like: 'It's a story about a twelve-year old boy who lives in the middle of nowhere in this gigantic mansion and owns a toy company. Oh, and he's living with his butler, a man who's like a hundred years old and protecting him because he wants to eat him someday.' Their reactions are just perfect.**

**And I'm talking too much again, oops…**

**Anyway, see you soon, my little kittens!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Happy new year! A bit early, I know, but since I'm updating today (geez, I really have no life XD) I say it now. I'm probably updating tomorrow as well. Not sure yet.**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji. I love to own little Ciel and Sebas-chan, but I don't. I do own Clarissa. Oh, and I'm sick, so it wouldn't surprise me if the typos are worse than ever. Anyway, let's start the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 24**

I woke up screaming, not surprised to see that I wasn't laying in my bed. I had fallen asleep on the couch in Ciel's office. I'd sat there because I didn't want to be alone, so I hung around him and Sebastian as they did some stuff. Sebastian wasn't good with technology (what a shocker), so he was reading through papers as Ciel was typing stuff on his computer.

They both stared at me as I shot up from the couch, breathing as if I almost drowned. 'Elizabeth!' I said, covering my face with my hands. 'Oh my god.'

Ciel sighed. 'Sebastian,' he said and that was enough for the butler to walk towards me, ready to do anything to comfort me.

'Clarissa,' he said, grabbing my hands and pulling them off my face. 'It was just a dream. Calm dow-'

A mobile phone rang. And since I didn't recognize the song, I knew it was Ciel. I highly doubt that Sebastian owned a phone. Or knew what they were.

Ciel answered the phone. 'Yes?... Paula?' he sounded surprised. 'Elizabeth vanished?' he asked, surprisingly calm now, but with a frown on his face. 'Islington, you say?' He hung up. 'We're going there immediately,' he said, getting up from his chair. 'What is she _thinking?!_'

Sebastian turned back to me. 'My lady?' he said, frowning when he saw that he stood there with panic written all over my face, frozen into something that wasn't entirely me.

'I know where she is,' I said, because I knew. Islington. Drossel. The Hope piece. Everything had fallen to place in my dreams.

Sebastian and Ciel both looked at me with a strange expression. 'How do you-'

'I know where she is!' I screamed it now. 'Just trust me for once and let me give directions. If Elizabeth is with _him_, it means that there's a big chance that we might already be too late.'

'But master, what about the investigation?' Sebastian asked, clearly talking about something that I didn't know anything about.

I somehow managed to ask a question, but I sounded like a crazy person. 'What investigation? Did you get another task for the Queen?'

Ciel sighed. 'Young girls are getting kidnapped. Bodies aren't found, but…' He stopped, clearly irritated. 'Shit,' he then said.

My eyebrow rose and I knew that Sebastian's rose too. Ciel never swore.

'All the girls got the Hope piece before they were kidnapped,' Sebastian said, 'meaning that the one that lady Elizabeth found might not be a replica.' A wicked smile appeared on his face. 'It seems like everything is connected.'

Ciel twitched. 'Sebastian, you will go and investigate the kidnappings. Question those who knew the victims and come up with a suspect list. I'll go with Clarissa to wherever she thinks Elizabeth is. If she's there, the other girls might be there, too.' He looked at me. 'Are you sure you know where to find her?'

I wasn't sure if I should be happy or not. It seemed that he trusted me, but the fact that he sent Sebastian out on almost the same mission made me question his trust. 'Yes, I do,' I said, trying to sound as convincing as I possibly could.

Ciel nodded. 'Okay then. Let's go.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian dropped us at the point that Paula, Elizabeth's maid, had given Ciel, the point where she'd lost her lady.

It was the same. I knew exactly which alley I had to walk to and Ciel followed me without saying all that much.

'How do you know where to find her?' he asked me after a while. We'd been walking through alleys for a while now. I was actually surprised it took him this long to ask.

'My grandma used to own an antique shop,' I began. 'It closed down when she died.' I swallowed. 'Drossel loved the shop. He loved all the antique dolls. He used to tell me that dolls are attracted to human souls, because they are empty inside. And humans aren't.' A sad smile appeared on my face. 'He used to tell me that a dolls eyes were their souls and they should be the most beautiful part of the doll.'

Ciel clearly didn't get where I was going with this. 'And what does this have to with finding Eli-'

'He always said that he wanted to turn me into one of his dolls,' I said, not looking at Ciel anymore as we walked towards an alley without light. 'And the night that he lost his mind, he tried to do exactly that.'

'I still don't get it,' Ciel said after a while.

There, at the end of the alley was the familiar light. And the light in the shop were on. It didn't look closed down at all. 'I knew it,' I said, though I wasn't sure how. 'I knew that if Drossel escaped, this would be the place where he would go. Not because of the fact that it was his home. Not because of the fact that he was looking for me.' We reached the shop and the door opened itself on its own. 'But because Drossel Keinz loved his dolls.'

'I spy a gorgeous man!' someone yelled, making me jump, but now scaring Ciel at all. Ciel immediately looked up, so I just followed his gaze.

A flash of red before my eyes revealed a familiar face, though I was quite sure that I'd never seen the man before. 'Huh? You're not a gorgeous man. You are a ugly girl,' he said, lifting me up to see if there was anyone else. 'No, no, no! Where is Sebas-chan?!' the man screamed in despair.

'You are-' Ciel began, but he couldn't finish.

'After the Madam Red incident I was temporarily demoted,' he said and I was sure that I'd heard that voice before. But _where?_ 'Now I'm only a lowly assistant. That brute Will told me he won't give me my old post back until I collect some truly troublesome souls. That rotten sadist!' He sounded angry up until now, but then his voice became thoughtful. 'Though it's true that food tastes better when it's rotten…'

No, it does not.

Then the man hugged himself and started to sound like an upper fan girl when he said: 'And those cold eyes do give me a thrill!'

Ciel twitched and made an angry sound, making the man stop hugging himself. What was up with this weird creature? I mean, I had seen man with long hair before, but his hair was…. _Really _long. And bright red. And those eyes… too familiar. 'Dear me. Were you planning to avenge your aunt?' he asked, making me finally got who the hell the guy was.

'Grell?!' I shouted, pointing at him in horror. _This _was Grell? Talk about extreme make-over. What was with the sudden personality change? He acted almost comically gay.

Ciel and Grell looked at me, totally shocked. I could see in their eyes that they both couldn't believe that it took me this long to realise.

And then they were over the shock and I got ignored again.

Grell turned back to Ciel and said: 'Well, I don't see Sebastian anywhere around here. So what can a little brat such as yourself do?'

'Shut up!' Ciel said, sounding _really _angry.

Then I got it again. 'You were the one who killed Madame Red!' I shouted, pointing at Grell again.

Grell sighed, clearly annoyed. 'If you hadn't had an immortal soul, I would have killed you right now,' he said, confusing both me and Ciel.

'What?' we said in unison.

Then Ciel saw something in the display window of the shop that distracted him. He froze completely, as if he'd seen a ghost.

I looked to see what he'd seen. Only to see a doll that looked way too much like Elizabeth. _Oh, for the love of God, what did Drossel do?_

'Lizzie!' Ciel then shouted, sounding scared now.

'To-Die list,' Grell then said. He had a brown book in his hands, 'butler and puppeteer to the house of Lane.' Then he looked at me with those familiar eyes. 'Drossel Keinz.'

I wasn't sure why I felt like my heart died. It felt like _I _died. All these years I'd wished he was dead. But now…? I wasn't sure. It seemed like he was the only one I had left. 'How do you know?' I asked him, grapping the red coat he was wearing.

'Well, I'm a Reaper, you see,' he said, smiling a really strange smile. 'I'm a butler to die fo- Hey, where did the kid go?'

'What?' I turned around, only to see that Ciel was gone.

'Dammit!' I said, entering the shop after him. But Ciel wasn't in the shop anymore.

I noticed that Grell had followed me. 'Huh? Where did he go?'

I smiled. Good thing I used to go here often. I walked towards the back door of the shop. 'I think he went towards the old house behind the shop. Let's follow.'

Ciel was indeed in the garden behind the shop, staring at the house. I have to admit that the house was indeed impressive. Like a baby-castle. But it was nothing compared to the gigantic estate of Phantomhive.

'Goodness, what a delightful estate,' Grell said as he looked at the house. He went to stand besides Ciel, who had been staring at the house until now. Now he was looking at Grell, clearly thinking about something.

Then he spoke words that were so ridiculous that I was convinced that I heard it wrong. 'Grell. Protect us,' he said, sounding like it was the logical thing to do.

'What?' me and Grell both asked. Grell asked it with a disrespectful tone, I asked it with a confused tone.

'I'll grant you any request,' Ciel said, sounding like he thought he himself was the voice of reason.

The attitude Grell then put up reminded me of the teenage girls that had rich parents and acted like they were better then you. 'Don't be insulting. I'm not the sort of cheap girl –' last time I checked you weren't even a girl – 'you ca just pay-'

'You can have Sebastian and do whatever you want with him for one day,' Ciel said, interrupted the rather annoying Grell. Geez, and I thought he was annoying when he was clumsy and silent all the time.

To my surprise, and disgust, Grell started to fan girl. 'A day with Sebastian means… I can kiss him?!' he seemed too happy with that, which not only confused me, but also made me angry. Okay, Ciel had a contract and all, but he couldn't just do with Sebastian whatever the heck the wanted and—

Wait. Why couldn't he? He had every right to, I mean, Sebastian did only protect him because he wanted to kill him someday. I would be pissed off to. I probably would do even worse things. Then why did it bother me to know that Sebastian had to be harassed for a day by this bastard.

Oh, geez. I was really falling for the guy, wasn't I?

Ciel even had an arrogant smile on his face, as if he thought he was being super clever. 'Do whatever you like.'

Grell wasn't done with being a fan girl just yet. 'With tongue?!'

I think I'm gonna puke.

The worst part was that Ciel didn't even seem to mind. 'Whatever you order him to do,' he said.

That made Grell happier then I had ever seen anyone. 'Suddenly my Fired-Up Meter is maxed out! I'm deadly serious.'

Ha. Ha. He was a reaper. Deadly serious. Ha. Ha.

'All right! Here we go!' Grell said, running towards the house and me and Ciel running after him. Geez, Grell was really fired up all of the sudden.

Grell swung the door open and the first thing we saw was the entrance hall. It wasn't any different then I remembered except for the fact that there as a different doll in the middle of the hall then there used to be. This one had blond hair and wore a dress that was clearly meant to be worn by actual people, not by a doll.

We ran towards it. And with 'we' I meant 'Ciel'. I just followed him.

'Oh my,' Grell said, 'doesn't that ring look awfully like yours?' He asked, making both me and Ciel look at the ring that the ring was wearing on her thumb.

That looked like a Hope piece indeed.

Just as I was staring at the doll before me, the blue doll eyes turned to look at me, but then her eyes looked at Ciel. I didn't have any time to warn him before the doll's hand reached out and grabbed Ciel's throat.

'Grell,' he said, clearly being suffocated by that doll's hand.

And I just couldn't move. I just stood there frozen, too scared to move. _He found a way, _I thought. _He found a way to turn humans into dolls. And he's coming for me._

Something fell on the dolls head and it let go of Ciel, who fell on the ground.

That made me move. I looked up to see that Grell was in the chandelier. 'Reapers have the tool to harvest souls,' he said, sounding really proud. 'Yes! Death scythes!' And even though that sounded threatening, the things he pulled out were just normal scissors.

Ciel got up, looking surprisingly okay with the whole situation. 'Those are… just scissors,' he said. _My thoughts exactely._

Grell didn't like that comment. 'I can't help it!' He sound angrily and if I didn't know Sebastian I would be surprised that he could be so energetic without falling down. 'Will took my custum death scythe away!'

And the only thing I could think about was: _Who the fuck is Will?_

'I'll chop her into pieces!' Grell then shouted, jumping down the chandelier.

Both me and Ciel protested, reaching out our hands to Grell and the girl doll. 'Wait! Don't kill her!' I screamed. 'She's no doll!' Ciel added.

But it was too late. The girl fell on the ground, looking lifeless once again.

Ciel came closer and looked at the girl. 'Was it a doll after all?' he said. He didn't understand what it meant. He didn't understand that this girl was both. She was a girl and a doll.

Drossel turned her into a doll.

The big door in the entrance hall opened and a spooky, yet oh so beautiful and familiar voice, came closer as soft footsteps rang in our ears. '_Wood and clay will wash away, wash away, wash away. Wood and clay will wash away, my fair lady._'

Then the familiar face with the familiar voice came into the hall.

Well, at least he was wearing a hat. But why was he dressed like he was auditioning for the circus? 'That doll was a failure,' he said. And when I heard him talk like that, I full sentence, I almost cried. Yes, his voice was still the most beautiful voice in the world. Sebastian couldn't win that competition. Not for me at least. 'So I thought to myself,' he went on, '"I must make them much, much, much stronger".' Then he raised his hand, as if he was going to conduct us while we sang. '_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady._'

Ciel leaned towards me. 'Friend of yours?' he asked, clearly not needing an answer. He knew exactly who he was. _Dammit, Sebastian. You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?_

Then he sang again, and as he sang, large dolls appeared from everywhere. They were almost Ciel's seize. '_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady._' Then he went forward, grabbed my waist, and pulled me away from the entrance hall, leaving Ciel and Grell to be killed by the dolls made of iron and steel.

'Let me go, Drossel!' I yelled as he lift me up the stairs that would lead to the old music room. It was empty now. Then he tilted me up, to the balcony. He sat down there and put me on his lap, stroking my hair as if I was his favourite pet and looking at me as if I was the most beautiful thing in the world. I did noticed that he wasn't warm at all, he was cold, like he didn't have any body heat left inside of him. Like he was as empty as he dolls he loved so much.

'_Let the demons fade away, fade away, fade away. Let the demons fade away, my fair lady,_' he said and as he said that, I heard footsteps on the stairs, coming closer and closer with every step that was taken. _Please let it be Sebastian, please let it be Sebastian, please let it be Sebastian._

Of course it wasn't. I should've stopped hoping by now. It was Ciel who walked into the music room.

'Ciel Phantomhive,' Drossel said, still stroking my hair.

Ciel noticed us, but he didn't look at me. He looked at Drossel with a look that was simply murderous.

'You are very beautiful,' Drossel said and I swear to God I almost felt jealous, 'I must make you into a worthy doll.'

'Where's Elizabeth?!' he demanded, clearly not giving a damn about me.

He got ignored. Nice, now he knew what that felt like. 'Now, what shall I make you off? Clay is sure to wash away, but iron is too crude, I say.'

Wait, was he speaking in rhyme? Why was he speaking in rhyme? I swear he only did it to creep me out. And what was with the get-up? He _knew _I was scared of clowns!

Then I realised that Drossel had gone cray-cray and that this wasn't _my _Drossel anymore. I kept searching for a friend who was long gone.

That made me want to escape even more, but my struggles seemed to be useless. Drossel could handle me easily. But it wasn't only because he was stronger than me, it was also because he knew my reactions, my weaknesses, my strengths, too well. He could even speak normally to Ciel while holding me down. 'So I thought to myself: "_Build it up with silver and gold, silver and gold, silver and gold. Built it up with silver and gold, my fair lady._"'

The moment he started to sing again was the moment that Ciel decided that this was useless and he ran off, trying to find Elizabeth. Gosh, if only Drossel let me go! I knew my way in this mansion, I could help! I could for once be useful! 'Let me go, Drossel!' I tried to smack him in the face, but he didn't let me.

He looked at me with a strange look. '_Built her up with silver and gold, silver and gold, silver and gold. Built her up with silver and gold,_' he pressed his forehead against mine and I could feel his lifeless breathe on my face, '_my fair lady._'

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Heh, heh. I really love Drossel. I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with my endless obsession with porcelain dolls… I don't know.**

**ichigoarerugi: thank you! I'm not going to change Sebastian, or at least try not to, since he ****_is _****a demon and I want to stay true to his demon nature. I don't think he would change for anyone. Certainly not for a human. And I want Clarissa to fall in love with him ****_because _****he's a demon. I don't want her to fall for him because he can be a nice guy every now and then, because that's simply not true.**

**BlackMoon901: thanks! Unless it's a negative 'wow'. Then I'm sorry.**

**promocat: ha ha, true! I once had to draw out an explanation for a friend of mine because of the time-travel stuff in Shinobi Life XD**


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm updating twice today! Because I'm bored. And the day is long. Yay.**

**And it's also a really long chapter, the longest one yet!**

**I just checked, but nope, still don't own Kuroshitsuji. What a shame.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 25**

Sebastian sat on the window-still, his legs crossed and an arrogant smile on his face. 'Things are never working out for you on your birthday, do they? You lost your mansion, you lost your parents, and this time, will you lose Elizabeth too?'

Ciel felt relieve coming up, but somehow the words his butler said so him weren't calming at all. 'Sebastian!' Then he got angry. No. He wasn't going to lose Elizabeth. Not with Sebastian here. 'Take that back, Sebastian,' he demanded.

'Take what back?' Sebastian asked immediately.

'That jeer!' Ciel said and his voice had lost every form of respect towards his butler.

Which the butler noticed, of course. 'Young master,' he said calm, 'did you come here to dotingly savor your wretched past and wallow in the pleasure of humiliation?'

Then the song started again. '_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady._'

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><p>XxX<p>

_Clarissa's POV_

He was still holding me like that when he suddenly frowned. 'So I thought to myself: there's a strange presence in this castle,' he said.

'What do you mean?' I asked, not expecting an answer. What was it with men and their natural ability to ignore me whenever they could?

'_Build it up with iron and steel, iron and steel, iron and steel. Build it up with iron and steel, my fair lady,_' he sang, but this time his voice travelled further then when he'd sang to me alone. His voice sounded spookier, it echoed through the whole house and made me shiver. Though I must admit that I did miss his voice, it scared me more than Sebastian's did. And that's one hell of an accomplishment.

Then I swallowed and suddenly felt the need to sing, to purify this terrible situation. Drossel controlled the dolls with his voice. Maybe the trick was in the song. '_Iron and steel will bend and bow, bend and bow, bend and bow. Iron and steel will bend and bow, my fair lady,_' I sang and I heard that my voice was travelling far through the mansion too, but I also felt a power inside me, as if I could shoot lightning. Since when was I able to sing so loud, to be able to make it echo through the whole mansion?

'So I thought to myself,' Drossel said, sounding scarily indifferent, 'you destroyed my dolls.' He then lift me up and held me in his arms like a princess, carrying me with an unhuman speed towards the last staircase of the house.

The first thing I saw was that Sebastian had arrived. But I knew he wasn't here to save me. 'Let us depart, Young Master,' clearly not giving a damn about me or Elizabeth. Then I noticed the broken dolls all over the floor. All the girls… dead. But I wasn't sure if Sebastian was the one to blame or me.

'No,' Drossel said as he walked into the room, still carrying me in his arms. 'Ciel Phantomhive is my master's possession now.'

'Possession?' Ciel repeated angry, still not paying any attention to me. 'I am not a-'

'The proof is the ring on your finger,' Drossel said, interrupting Ciel with a voice that sounded so soft, but was so strong. 'I can tell. That Hope piece is a present my master sends to those who will be made into dolls.'

I frowned. _His master?_

Sebastian narrowed his eyes, clearly thinking the same thing. 'Your master?' he asked.

Drossel ignored him. 'Ciel Phantomhive will become a doll. A doll made of silver and gold. Yes, silver and gold, just like Clary.' His grip around me tightened.

'I do believe you said that people who possess a Hope piece will be turned into dolls,' Sebastian said, 'and I also believe that miss Lane doesn't own any sort of Hope piece.' He sounded curious, not trying to save me.

'I reason that that is indeed true,' Drossel said, 'but she's mine. My master said that I could have her if I wanted to.'

Okay, I was already quite sure that I didn't like his 'master'. And he couldn't have me. I was the only one who could possess me. But I didn't say anything, too curious what Sebastian reaction would be.

Sebastian just smiled a polite smile. 'Then I won't take her away from you,' he said, clearly not interested in my safety. 'But you can't have my master. _Silver and gold will be stolen away, stolen away, stolen away._' Sebastian grabbed Ciel and disappeared out of the opened window before Drossel could even reach the middle of the room.

Drossel just stared at the open window, as if he couldn't believe what just happened. 'He was stolen away…' Then he looked at me. 'But Clary is still here. And I thought to myself: _Ciel Phantomhive will return._'

Yeah, but for Elizabeth, not me. I rolled my eyes. Dang it, Sebastian. You really do want me killed, don't you?

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><p>XxX<p>

The moment Sebastian put Ciel down he was smacked in the face. 'What about Lizzie? What about Clarissa? I gave you orders, Sebastian! You couldn't save at least one of them?! What about our contra—'

'An order is not the same as a contract,' Sebastian said calm, not effected by Ciel's slap at all. 'Just as you give priority to order from the Queen, I prioritize your life.'

'And what about Clarissa?' Ciel asked again, after thinking about Sebastian's words for a while, looking into the eyes of a demon.

Sebastian tilted his head to the right, narrowing his eyes. 'What about her, Young Master?'

'You'd let something that you're interested in, no, I dare even to say feel attracted to, slip away from you like that?' Ciel smirked. 'Ha, you're not a worthy demon at all.'

A smile more devilish than the devil himself appeared not Sebastian's face. 'I have devoted myself to your service and protection all this time. I couldn't stand for you to be stolen from me now. You are a remarkable human, one that you do not find often these days. The only thing that Clarissa has that no other human has, is a soul I can't figure out. A soul I can't trust. I'd be better off without it.'

Then Ciel remembered something that did seem important afterwards. 'Well, then you might have a problem,' he said, 'since Grell said that Clarissa has an immortal soul.'

Sebastian just smiled. 'Well, maybe this is the perfect time to test that theory, don't you think?'

Ciel frowned, thought about the Queen's orders. About Elizabeth. Then he shove the ring that he'd taken from the doll in the entrance hall on his finger. 'It would seem that the ring is the mark of his next target,' he then said, feeling confident this time. He _could _outsmart his butler. 'And I have two of them. Protecting me now will no doubt require some effort.'

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><p>XxX<p>

'Err, Drossel? I do appreciate the petting, I really do, but you're making me uncomfortable,' I said, trying to push him off me while also trying to see how Lizzie was doing. No change.

Drossel had brought me to the tower, which used to be an old watch-tower for London, but now was just an empty tower. Or so I thought. Apparently Drossel had used to tower to make dolls here. The fact that I was where now didn't calm me down, though Drossel had told me that he would wait for his last doll, and with last doll I meant Lizzie, to harden. So he had tilted me up to the ceiling, were there were wooden beams keeping the roof together, and we sat on one of the beams, I again on his lap.

And he wouldn't speak to me. He would just touch me, not even smiling at me. It looked like his expression was frozen into this strange, indifferent look.

And then I touched him. My finger touched the blue tattoo under his eyes and I almost teared up when I felt that his skin felt almost fake. And it wasn't warm. 'What happened to you?' I asked, but I didn't receive an answer. But I did believe that this Drossel, whatever happened to him, still loved me like he did back then. I just didn't love him… that way. Never did. Maybe that was what broke him. Maybe _I _broke him.

I heard them before I saw them. 'Lizzie!' Ciel screamed, making me look down at him as he ran towards the chair where a unmoving Elizabeth was sitting. He grabbed her shoulders. 'Lizzie?'

'Looks like we were a little too late,' Grell said, not sounding like he minded. I wasn't sure when Grell had re-joined the group, but then again I wasn't sure why they'd returned. Ciel returned for Lizzie. Sebastian had returned for Ciel. Grell had returned for Sebastian.

Ciel started to sound and look scared. 'No…' He shook her so hard that I thought he would break her, screaming: 'Lizzie! Lizzie! Lizzie!'

From this distance I wasn't sure, but it looked like Elizabeth responded and opened her eyes. This was an alert for Drossel, who shot up, still carrying me in his arms. Why the hell couldn't he just let me go for two seconds? It wasn't like I could go anywhere, since I was a human who couldn't survive a fall down. And it wasn't like I was going to test if Grell or Sebastian would catch me. I'd rather stay alive, thank you very much.

'Hmmmmm…?' Lizzie said, sounding so confused and tired that she almost sounded like the indifferent Drossel.

'Lizzie,' Ciel said, sounding relieved now. 'Thank goodness… But why—'

'Yes, why, indeed.' Drossel let me stand on my own on the beam, which was surprisingly scarier than being carried by him. Ieks! I really didn't want to fall down. He still had one arm wrapped around me though and he pulled me towards him with a strength that I didn't remember he had. With his free hand he seemed to pull something that at first glance I couldn't see, but then I saw a thin string on his finger, leading down to Elizabeth. He pulled and Elizabeth rose. It seemed like she was flying. But I saw the strings and knew that that wasn't the case. 'Why does her body move independent of her own will?'

They were looking around now, trying to find the place where Drossel was hiding. Drossel pulled again and this time, a strange sort of sword was flying through the room and ended in Elizabeth hands. 'And why does she hurt the one she loves?' he then said, making me look at him shocked.

_Oh no._

Elizabeth seemed to realise as well, but Ciel didn't seem to care. The only thing he seemed to care about was Lizzie, who was swinging the sword at him while screaming and crying. 'No!' she screamed, but Sebastian pulled Ciel away before she could cause any damage.

I started to fight Drossel now, trying to get to the strings that made Elizabeth hurt Ciel. She kept screaming 'no' while Sebastian kept jumping across the room, saving Ciel again and again and again.

During this rescue mission, Sebastian somehow managed to talk to Grell with a calm and reasonable voice. Of course he could. 'Grell. You can see this too, can't you?' he asked and I realised he must be referring to the strings.

Grell did not look interested. He wasn't even helping. He just stood there. _Maybe if I could scream and give away my—_

As if Drossel had read my mind, the hand on my waist changed position and covered my mouth now.

'I suppose,' Grell said, looking at his nails. 'But I might chip my blades, so-'

Sebastian grabbed the sword when Elizabeth brought it to Ciel again. 'Please,' he asked Grell, his voice softer and kinder then he'd ever sounded to me.

Of course, that turned Grell on. 'Oh, Sebas-chan! You're asking me for something? In that case, during the kiss… can there be… can there be tongue?!'

Geez, this man with his strange tongue-fetish. _I _would've been more useful.

Of course, Sebastian hadn't heard about the deal that Ciel made with Grell yet. 'I haven't the faintest idea what you mean,' he said, holding the blade off with ease, but it was clear that it was harder to do than it seemed. 'But, in fact, I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.'

Lol, had he read one of my magazines or something? I had one where they said that if you could tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue, you were an amazing kisser. Well, of course I could've known, because it's Sebastian we're talking about, but it still surprised me.

Grell seemed to understand that too. 'Oh yes!' He ran towards Elizabeth, who was still unwillingly trying to kill her loved one. 'It's unforgivable for a little girl like you to have a better blade than me.' And with those words, he attacked, cutting the strings off.

'Stop, Grell!' Ciel screamed, obviously thinking that Grell would kill Elizabeth. Which he didn't.

Elizabeth dropped on the ground. Literally like a puppet whose strings got cut. She lay there on the ground, not moving.

Ciel kneeled down before her, Sebastian following his example. 'Elizabeth…'

Drossel's hand slipped away from my mouth, back to my waist as Sebastian said 'it's a puppet's string'.

I wanted to scream, but then Grell opened his mouth and I kind of wanted to know what he would say. 'This sharp cut only comes with a death scythe. Well, Sebas-chan?' Was he fishing for compliments? 'I'm amazing, aren't I? Compliment me, compliment me!' Jup, definitely fishing for compliments.

'Good for you,' Sebastian said, sounding incredibly indifferent. 'Not just anyone would run with scissors.' I would have laughed if I wasn't standing on a high beam with my murderous, psychopathic childhood friend.

'Oh, I'm flattered to death!' Seriously, he actually believed that?

Then Sebastian looked up, at me. A small smile appeared on his face, but it was gone before it could bother me. 'And the puppet string leads to…'

Drossel really seemed indifferent, but his words just didn't match up his tone. 'So I thought to myself,' he said, pulling his free hand again. Strings appeared, trapping Ciel, Sebastian and Grell in silver-looking strings. 'What shall I use to make my new dolls?' He said, making me want to roll my eyes. _Fetish, dude. Fetish._

'Then I'll ask you this… what are you made of?' Sebastian asked Drossel, while looking at me.

_Oh. _I got it now. I looked at Drossel, his skin, his eyes. His cold, cold body. _He's also a doll._

But the strangest thing is that Drossel didn't seem to get that. 'Hmm? What am I… made of?' he said, looking only a bit troubled.

Sebastian was smiling now, that kind of smile that I didn't trust at all. It was the 'I'm going to kill you'-smile. 'Yes. You see, you don't seem to be made of very high-quality materials.'

Drossel's expression didn't change. 'So I thought to myself; "_I know I must be human and yet lately I often find termites crawling out of my ears_".'

Yikes. Too much details.

Sebastian then managed to kick the sword on the floor our way with his foot, making me and Drossel almost fall over. But Drossel managed to keep us standing with the help of his strings.

'Grell,' Sebastian said in a demanding voice.

I couldn't see what was going on until Sebastian appeared right in front of us, looking at Drossel while completely ignoring me. He jumped on another beam, holding the sword. 'I sense none of the way or the style of a butler in you,' Sebastian said, sounding angry because of that.

'Seriously?' I asked, pulling up an eyebrow. 'We're standing on this good-for-nothing beams with my psychopathic childhood friend and you want to talk about style?'

To my surprise, I wasn't ignored. 'You… know… him?' Drossel asked, tilting his head to the side like a puppet would do.

I wasn't sure why I felt guilty all of the sudden. 'Yes, I do,' I told him.

Sebastian clearly didn't want to have a conversation. He pulled the sword and I just saw, I just knew, that he was going to kill Drossel.

And me, because I was in the way.

And I understood. I got it. Maybe I was supposed to die. Maybe this was even my fault. I couldn't think. But in those seconds before death, everything slowed down. And I just looked at Sebastian and understood. I understood so perfectly well. He was a demon. And he did not care one bit if I died.

I knew that I had tears in my eyes, but I somehow managed to give him a small smile while he jumped towards us with the sword. Then I closed my eyes, ready to be killed by the hands of a demon.

And in that split second, I loved that demon.

But then I fell down on two layers of bodies and I hated him again.

I had landed on Drossel, whose had was broken and a strange looking material was gushing out. Gosh, how gross.

And under Drossel was Grell, who I somehow felt sorry for now. How'd that happen?

Then Sebastian jumped down and helped me up, looking at Ciel with a small smile. 'I would never lose to a man without style,' he told him and I could feel the grip on my waist tighten.

I just looked at him. _Why had he spared me? _I felt special for a few seconds before I realised that it most probably had something to do with an order Ciel gave him. Great. I knew Sebastian for quite some time now and I was still deceived. I never learned.

The attention then went from Sebastian to Drossel, who was laying on the ground. 'So he was a doll, too?'

I shook my head. 'No, he was a puppet.' I frowned. 'A puppet with a master.'

'I do believe that's true,' Sebastian said, 'the only thing this puppet seemed to know is that he had to obey his master and that he loved Clarissa.'

I managed to blush because of what he'd said. Great. My emotions weren't paying attention to the situation at all.

'Drossel Keinz,' Grell said, who had gotten up from under Drossel. 'His soul was collected five years ago, but for some reason, we detected signs of survival.'

I closed my eyes for a second. _So my Drossel was indeed long gone. _I looked back at the puppet. I wouldn't be sad. This wasn't something new. Drossel has already been dead for ages.

Sebastian closed his eyes for a second. 'Someone must have fitted him with a makeshift soul,' he said, making me curious. What did that mean? Gosh, I really did want to know more about him and his world. Though I actually did not want to know about Grell. I liked the clumsy Grell more than the I-love-Sebastian-more-than-you-do-Grell. He kind of creeped me out. That and the fact that we was more feminine than I was.

Lizzie opened her eyes again. Ciel was holding here in his arms, I hadn't noticed that until now. How romantic. 'Ciel…'

'Elizabeth!' he said, but it was clear that she was still in the process of becoming one off Drossel's dolls. Killing him didn't change that fact.

Ciel looked up at Sebastian. 'Isn't there anything we can do to reverse this?' he asked.

Sebastian shrugged, clearly not willing to think about that.

_You know what to do, my dear sweet Clarissa. You can do it. Now, show me what you can do. _I kneeled down besides Ciel. I felt a power, humming inside me ready to be used. 'Can I…?' I asked, reaching for Elizabeth.

Ciel nodded, letting me touch Elizabeth's face. I placed one hand on her cheek and the other one found the place where her heart was beating in her chest. _Wonderful. Sweet. And Delicious._

What? Delicious? What the hell did I just…

Then I felt it. The poison, slowly tearing her heart apart until it would stop beating. I breathed in and let my instincts take over. 'Purify the unclean,' I said, so soft that I wasn't sure if I'd even said it. I felt the poison fleeing from me, from my hand, almost as if it knew that I was there. But I didn't let it. I took it. And then I melted it away, breathing it out with every single breath.

The moment I almost collapsed was the moment that Sebastian reached forward to catch me. 'Purple,' he said, looking deep into my eyes.

I didn't want to think about his words now, so I sat up to see if it worked. She seemed less doll-like now, but was still shining a bit.

'Ciel,' Elizabeth said, sounding so, so tired. 'I want to… give you a birthday party…'

For a moment Ciel looked shocked, almost scared, but then his expression soften and he just looked tired and sad. 'Yes… Please do,' he said, surprising everyone in the room.

Elizabeth smiled, seeming happy with just that, and closed her eyes. And as she fell asleep, the shining disappeared and she looked totally human again.

I did it.

But… _how?!_

I looked at Sebastian, hoping he would have an explanation, but he was staring at Drossel, making me frown and look too.

'You can rest easy,' I heard Ciel tell Elizabeth. 'It's all—'

'It's not all over, it appears,' Sebastian interrupted him as Drossel, or fake-Drossel, got up again, his voice sounding like a broken radio now.

'So I thought to myself: "I will report to my master".' His steps were almost a torture to watch, but no one stopped him. They just looked. And I felt like I had no strength in my body left, so I just looked as well. But seeing fake-Drossel in this state kind of made me want to cry.

'What's wrong with him?' Grell asked, clearly not understanding something. 'He's all torn up and he still wants to serve his master?'

Sebastian almost looked sad for a moment there. 'I can understand. You see, he's merely one hell of a butler.'

Drossel walked up to the only door that hadn't been opened yet and pushed it open while also collapsing. The last words on his lips being 'mas…ter…'.

And as I looked away, I felt that my tears did escape my eye.

But Ciel, Sebastian and Grell didn't hesitate. They ran inside the room Drossel had opened, wanting to see what was inside. His master? I didn't think so.

'I'm very sorry,' I could hear a voice say, a voice that sounded strangely familiar, making me curious enough to stand up too. But the three men blocked the doorway and I couldn't see a thing. 'My butler is so incompetent, I'm unable to offer you hospitality.'

'So you're behind this. Why would you make girls into dolls?' Ciel said, sounding all high and mighty again.

'Flowers, eras, and also people are only beautiful for finite moments,' he said, making me think about the words Drossel used to say to me. 'That's why demons are attracted to such creatures. Creatures that fade away like no demon ever will.' He was silent for a moment and even though I didn't look, I knew that Grell of Sebastian or both were looking at me. 'Doll-making is noble work,' the man went on, but I still couldn't see him. 'Preserving in this world the most beautiful and perfect people.'

Grell thought it was a good idea to open his mouth again. 'You've got awful taste! What's so perfect about immature little—'

Lucky enough for everyone present, Ciel interrupted him. 'Why are you after me?' Ciel asked the man.

I pushed Sebastian aside a little and stepped forward, now able to see the room with the large windows and the chair. We couldn't see who was sitting on it, since the chair faced the windows.

'I won't be made into a doll and lovingly displayed somewhere!' Ciel shouted, throwing the Hope piece from the doll in the entrance room to the chair.

'Know your place, boy,' the man said and I swear to god, I'd heard his voice before. But voices sounded alike, maybe it was just a coincidence? 'My butler's head is made of straw. I imagine he couldn't understand why I wanted you. I'm happy he died, though. Making a doll out of dear little Clarissa would have been a shame. The loss of a truly pure girl in this unclean world.'

I could almost _feel _Sebastian's eyes narrow and I shivered, didn't like the idea that suddenly everyone seemed to think I was pure. I'm not doing anything special, you guys! Not until I magically healed Elizabeth, that is.

'Ciel Phantomhive, you were fated to die from your very birth,' the man in the chair said. 'You're body is already unclean.'

Well, yeah. He _is _living with a demon who he made a contract with. I wouldn't be so pure either, if I was wicked enough to even summon a demon.

'Why do you know that?' Ciel said, but the way he said it made me feel like he was talking about something else than I was thinking about.

'I cannot allow someone like you to exist in this world,' he said and somehow, his voice started to sound strange, almost as if the pitched of the radio became worse and worse. 'Unclean, unnecessary, unfruitful… And therefor I tried to snuff you out.' The chair started to shake and his voice started to deform more and more. 'Snuff out the unclean, the unnecessary, the unfruitful… Snuff him out! Snuff him out! Snuff him out! Snuff him out!'

Then Ciel couldn't have it anymore. 'Don't play games with me!' he screamed, running towards the chair, while the man kept screaming 'snuff him out! Snuff him out!'.

Whatever was in the chair, it shocked Ciel. Sebastian and Grell immediately came in action and for some reason, Sebastian dragged me along.

In the chair was a dummy of a man. And on the man's lap was… a small doll. And as we looked at it, the doll got up. He screamed and then jumped off the chair, running away laughing. He even jumped over fake-Drossel's dead body.

'Catch it, Sebastian!' Ciel screamed, but Sebastian didn't move.

'The person who's manipulating it isn't here, my Lord,' he said, sounding strangely fascinated. 'I now notice that there were invisible strings all over the room. Not a very nice thing, I must say.'

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><p>XxX<p>

It was already morning when we walking out of the tower. Sebastian was carrying Elizabeth in his arms, like a princess. I do believe Elizabeth would've appreciate it much more if Ciel was the one to carry her, but since I didn't think Ciel could manage Elizabeth's weight, I didn't say anything.

'Sebas-chan!' Grell said as soon as we were outside, trying to jump Sebastian. 'Now for our passionate kiss!' He screamed, making me pull a face. Ugh, please, not now. No one wants to see that.

Sebastian ducked when Grell jumped, making Grell fall on the ground. 'What shall we do, young master?' Sebastian asked Ciel. 'Would you like me to avenge Madam Red now?'

Grell got up, clearly not liking that idea. 'Fine, I'll keave your lips for next time! Bye-bye!' he said, running off with a speed no human could have.

Sebastian looked ready to go after him, with Elizabeth still in his arms for God's sake, but Ciel stopped him. Well, if he hadn't, I would've. 'No. Not today,' Ciel said. He stepped forward and touched Elizabeth's cheek and that simple touch made me realise that he might love the girl than I thought he did. But I also understood why he didn't let her know. It would only be harder for her… when he… left. 'I don't want the scent of blood to reach Elizabeth any more than it already has,' he said, so gently.

Then Sebastian looked at me, with a human-loathing expression on his face. I almost smiled. That guy really didn't get humans at all.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of this chapter! Woohoo! And three hours till 2015! (at least for me)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Weeeh, so I'm really tired and still not feeling well, but I can't go to sleep because people are still busy with their fireworks, so that sucks.**

**So I thought, I'm going to write!**

**Okay, so I didn't finish before I went to sleep, but I'm finishing this chapter now!**

**And I'm actually very happy that Drossel is gone now, because ****_London Bridge is Falling Down _****was starting to drive me crazy. No offense, Drossel! Still love you! **

**Oh, and I just noticed that I used a Dutch word in the previous chapter. The Dutch word for 'jump' is 'springen' and I took that word and made it something like 'springing', so that made me laugh when I saw that. I fixed it now, though.**

**So, filler chapter here (sort of. Actually no, it's pretty important). Enjoy!**

**Don't own Kuroshitsuji BTW. Do own Clarissa though. So that's something.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 26**

The next day we had a birthday party. It was innocent and it was fun, but it bothered me more than I thought it would. I never had a birthday party. It was actually the day where my father hated me the most, so I'd come to dislike my birthday very much.

I couldn't sleep that night. Not because I wasn't tired, but because I couldn't sleep. I just… didn't fall asleep. I wasn't sure what it was. Maybe Sebastian poisoned me.

So I decided that it was a good idea to walk through the house in the middle of the night… which is wasn't. The whole house was dark, no lights to be found and when I got scared I realised that I had no idea how to get back to my room.

So I started to sing, something I used to do a lot when I was scared or sad. Now that I think about it… I used to sing a lot in general. But during the accident Drossel kind of ruined singing for me and since then I just… barely sang. But now I opened my mouth again.

The song that was stuck in my head was ironically a song about the devil. How fitting. '_Trembling, crawling across my skin,_' I sang as I walked through a corridor that looked like the corridor that let to Ciel's bedroom. Wasn't sure though. '_Feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine._' A vague smile crossed my face when I thought about the fact that that was kind of the case with Sebastian and Ciel of the moment. Though Sebastian wasn't stealing Ciel's life. Yet. '_I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies.' _Pfft. Wish I could. Sebastian was still a mystery to me most of the time. '_I won't last long, in this world so wrong._' That sounded like something Ciel would say. Though I doubt that Ciel would ever speak in rhyme. '_Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.'_ I started to feel like someone was following me and suddenly, I didn't want to sing anymore. I just stood still in the corridor, trying to hear who was following me.

_Probably the stalker-cat, _I told myself.

I didn't believe that, though. I believed that I would see the cat's eyes glow in the dark. Feeling the strange desire that I had to finish the song I started to sing again. '_Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight._'

'Please, I do think that whichever devil you are talking about wouldn't want to dance with someone like you. No offense, but your dancing skills are about the same as the dancing skills of a crocodile.'

Of course it was Sebastian who stood before me. Why was I even surprised. 'I'd rather be a terrible dancer than I terrible human being,' I told him, walked around him as if I wasn't influenced by his presence at all.

He stood for me again, moving faster than I ever could. 'I would think you're accusing me of something, but since I'm not human at all, that clearly wasn't the case.'

'Well, you _didn't _kill me yesterday, so I suppose that I should be happy,' I said, hating myself because I couldn't just ignore him. 'Why didn't you, anyway?' I knew the answer before he said it, but I hoped that it would be a different answer.

And it was. 'I just reasoned that if you were gone, things would get less interesting around here,' he said, smiling that devilish smile of his. 'And though it's tempting to finally be rid of you, your stupid questions and your weird… how do you call those…. harassments?' I opened my mouth to protest, but he put a finger to my mouth. 'Hush, hush, I'm not done yet. Though I do see the benefits of _not _having your around, I think my daily life would be less interesting with you gone. So I decided to keep you around.' His eyes narrowed. 'For I bit.'

I shivered, but didn't react.

'And could you maybe tell me what a young lady is doing in the corridors in the middle of the night?' he then asked.

'I couldn't sleep,' I started, 'and then I got lost. End of story.'

'You… couldn't sleep?' he asked, sounding way too curious.

I decided not to answer that question. 'Demons don't sleep, do they?'

He decided not to answer that question as well. 'Humans do sleep, don't they?' But I guessed that that meant that the answer to my question was 'yes'.

'So what do demons do at night?' I asked. 'Sitting in a corner, waiting for the sun to come back?' That didn't sound right. 'Or do you go and hunt at night, like vampires do?' I really should stop comparing Sebastian to a vampire.

'I don't sit in a corner and I do not mind whether the sun is up or down. Why should I? I can see perfectly fine in the dark, just as well as in in the light.' Good to know that darkness would never be an advantage for me. 'And I do not 'hunt', I do think I'm a being that's way too intelligent to do such a barbaric thing as 'hunt',' he said, 'though maybe that's the only human word for choosing your new prey.'

'And,' I said, not really interested because I actually _did _feel really tired. 'Found anything new yet?'

He looked at me with eyes glowing in the dark. It would have been fascinating if I weren't as tired as I was. 'I believe I did.'

I yawned. 'Well, that's great. I do hope that you and your next master have a lot of fun then,' I said, way to sceptical. He and his next master could just rot in hell for all I cared. Unless this meant that he would leave Ciel alone. I yawned again.

Sebastian frowned. 'You look awfully tired for someone who cannot fall asleep,' he said and he even managed to sound, only a bit, worried.

I laughed. '_I can see right through all your empty lies,_' I sang softly, poking Sebastian's cheek and then laughing harder.

He just kept frowning. 'I do believe that there's something not right,' he said and now he just sounded as if he was suspecting me of something. 'Have you had any alcohol?'

I laughed. 'Of course not. It's not like anyone in this mansion offers me any. Or that I would take it. I don't think I trust myself enough to drink or eat anything that could make me lose control over myself.'

It was clear that Sebastian hadn't heard half of what I'd said. 'And what have you eaten today?' He sounded like an investigator.

I frowned. 'I ate… cake. I ate the birthday cake. And maybe some potatoes?' Why couldn't I remember what I'd eaten today?

Then a hand was laying on my forehead. A hand without a glove. Then Sebastian pulled away again and he had his glove back on before I could blink. 'I believe you do have a slight fever, miss Lane,' he said, reaching out his hands to carry me.

That wasn't going to happen, though. I took a step back. 'Ho, ho. What are you doing, mister? You can't touch a girl just because you're gorgeous!' I giggled. 'Where are your manners?'

Sebastian sighed, sounding annoyed. 'Yes, yes,' he said, reaching his hands out anyway. I tried to run away, but that didn't really help. He started to carry me to the opposite direction, clearly bringing me back to my room.

I hit him with my fists again his chest, but his chest felt like it was made of stone and it was obvious that it didn't bother him at all. 'You're not going to rape me, are you?' I asked and I felt like I was drunk, even though I'd just said that I hadn't had any alcohol. Normal me never would've said that.

Sebastian looked at me with a dry look. 'Do I really look that desperate?' he asked. He sighed again. 'I do, don't I?'

'Huh?' I asked as he opened the door to my room without using his hands.

'Always speak with two words, my lady,' he said as he put me down on the bed.

I sat straight up, but stayed in my bed. 'You're not my mother, Sebastian. You can't tell me what to do.'

'I do believe your mother couldn't either.'

I looked at him with a look that would have been angry if I didn't feel like I was throwing up inside. I leaned forward, to where Sebastian was, and grabbed his hands. I was surprised that he let me. 'Do you know about that story with that girl with the red thingy on her head? And her mother said to not stray from the path, but she did, and then a wolf ate her and her grandmother?' I laughed. 'It kind of made me think of you.'

'I do believe Little Red Riding-Hood isn't a fairy tale about demon contracts,' Sebastian said, still not pulling his hands free. 'And I also believe that you need to rest. You don't seem to be in good shape at the moment.'

I frowned, not really listening to what he said. 'No, no. Not the fairy tale. I meant that you're like that. You hide in the shadows of the forest, waiting for someone to stray from the path, waiting for someone to lead you to the place where dinner is served.' I yawned. 'Or something. I don't really know.' I laughed, but frowned again after that. 'Wait… what were we talking about?'

Sebastian looked at me with a strange look, almost as if he was surprised or something.

'What?' I mumbled. 'Why are you looking at me like that?' I asked when he didn't answer, supposedly because I hadn't spoken with two words.

He finally pulled away his hands, put only to put me properly in the bed and under the covers, smiling as I yawned once again. 'You're a strange little girl, aren't you?'

I wasn't sure why he'd said that, but I answered: 'You're a strange little demon, aren't you?' I felt that my eyes wanted to close so badly, but my heart wanted to keep seeing Sebastian, so I kept my eyes open.

I saw how Sebastian leaned forward to press a kiss against my forehead. 'How would you know? You have no other demon to go on,' he said against my forehead, lips soft and warm and kissable.

'Hmm, I know that you're you,' I mumbled, not making sense anymore. 'That's all I ever need to know about you.' I yawned again. 'Though I am curious—'

After all this could all have been a dream. I was sure it was when Sebastian used his lips to interrupt my words, pressing his lips against mine. His lips weren't there for long and I was too tired and too surprised to respond, but if this was real, then it was the realest kiss we'd ever shared.

When he pulled away, I felt tears burning in my eyes and I had to look away from the demon's face. 'I wish you would stop doing that,' I said, now sure I was dreaming, because my voice sounded far away.

'Hmm?' Sebastian said.

I was tempted to tell him that 'hmm' wasn't two words, but there seemed to be more important things to say at the moment. 'I wish you would stop messing with my feelings. You only make me…' I yawned again and drifted away to a place that demons could never reach. '…love you more,' was the last thing I said before fading away.

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><p>XxX<p>

The next morning I couldn't remember much. Only that I had walked into Sebastian when I was walking through the corridor. A thing that I did realise that morning was that I was sick. Like… _really sick._

Lucky enough for me Mei-Rin came to check on me, because otherwise Ciel would probably never find out. I doubt he would care. But I was used to being sick and alone at the same time, so when Mei-Rin asked if she could do anything for me, I kindly refused.

I had a headache and my stomach was telling me to puke out everything I'd eaten. And my back hurt. It hurt so much that it felt like someone had stabbed me over and over again. The only thing that didn't hurt was my throat. I felt like that was the only thing still working.

But I wasn't going to lay in bed all day. I got up, showered and got dressed, whether I was sick or not. I wasn't going to eat anything, though. My stomach wasn't feeling up to that right now. I walked to Ciel's office, convinced that he was there. Which he, of course, was. And I wasn't surprised to find Sebastian there as well. Ciel was once again busy on his computer and Sebastian was once again looking through papers.

Both men looked up at me frowning when I entered the room.

'Are you not feeling well?' Ciel asked as he returned to working on his computer.

'Hmm,' was the only answer he got from as I let myself fall on the couch, moaning as my stomach protested. 'Argh, kill me now!' I whined.

'I do not think saying such a thing in the presence of a demon is smart, Clarissa,' Ciel said, surprisingly talkative today.

'And I do believe that I don't give a damn,' was my response. I got my phone out of my pocket and looked if I had any new message. I didn't. Or course I didn't.

I went to lay on the couch in a position that allowed me to look at Ciel and Sebastian. 'So, what are you guys up to today?'

'I'm looking through the new designs for the candy wrappings and Sebastian is reading through a few contracts,' Ciel said. Okay, now I was sure that he was _way _too talkative.

'You're surprisingly kind to me today,' I said, pulling up an eyebrow. 'Are we officially buddies now?'

Ciel pulled a disgusted face. 'I'm not buddies with anyone,' he said, as if the word alone disgusted him.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring my head as it ached because it didn't like that. 'Geez, wonder why that is,' I said cynical, making Ciel frown.

'I don't face friends because I don't want them. Not because I'm unable to make friends,' Ciel said.

I made a waving movement with my hand. 'Whatever you want, Earl Phantomhive.' I yawned. 'By the way, if any of you—'

Suddenly Sebastian stood before me, grabbing my wrists, which was still In mid-air because the gesture I made. He looked at me frowning. 'May I ask why your eyes have been purple for nearly three days now?' he asked, now seriously sounding bothered.

I pulled my hand free. 'Don't know. Eye colour can change, right?' I sighed. 'Maybe it has something to do with my illness. I mean, I _am _sick once again.'

'The colour of your eyes isn't supposed to change when you're seventeen,' Sebastian said, 'and it's not a really natural colour, either.'

'Sebastian?' Ciel asked, sounding bothered now, too. 'What do you think it means?'

The demon butler shook his head. 'My initial theory was thrown out of the window two days ago. And seeing her sick only makes my theory less likely.'

Ciel frowned. 'And what _was _your theory?'

It took a while before Sebastian answered. 'I thought she was a fallen angel, who pretended to be a teenage girl so she could free you from the claws of a demon,' his grip on my wrist tightened. 'So I messed with her a bit, trying to drawn her out. But a fallen angel cannot purify on the level that she did two days ago and no angel, fallen or not fallen, could offer their soul to me. Their souls are part of their bodies, something a demon could never touch.' He frowned. 'That and angels can't get sick.'

I wasn't listening anymore. I had frozen completely. _So I messed with her a bit. _I had known it. I had prepared myself for it. I knew that Sebastian couldn't care less about me. But I still had believed that he did, somewhere deep in my heart I had believed that he wasn't that bad at all. My mistake. I knew all too well that Sebastian's demon nature didn't care for anything but himself.

But I still loved him.

And it hurt like hell.

Ciel sighed the moment I started to cry. I was happy that my tears were silent, happy that Sebastian wasn't looking at me. 'I guess we cannot look into it because of the Queen's orders. Dammit!... Wait, are you crying?' He looked at me as if I had changed into a goat or something. As if he couldn't believe what he saw.

I wiped my tears away. 'Sorry… I'm sorry. I'm just very sick and I just… I'm sorry.' I wasn't sure why I kept apologizing.

Ciel seemed to think the same thing. 'Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault you got sick, right?' He sighed. 'And I suppose I still own you a 'thank you'.'

That confused and distracted me enough. It helped that Sebastian had returned to the desk as well, but it was mostly the thing that Ciel said that made me forget about my tears. 'Why would you own me that?'

He cleared his throat. 'I do believe you've saved me from the dolls. And you've saved Elizabeth.' A small, earnest smile appeared on his face. 'I'm thankful for that.'

I swear my mouth fell open, that was how surprised I was. He was… almost cute. No, he was too old to be 'cute'. I suppose handsome was the right word. I swallowed. 'It was nothing,' I said, not sure about what to say. 'And I didn't really save you from the dolls or anything.'

'You did, though,' Sebastian said. 'You sang the song to stop them from attacking. I didn't do anything. That was you.'

_It was? _'Aha, I suppose it was,' I said, trying to hide how utterly surprised I was.

A small smile appeared on Sebastian's face. 'Young master, I'll have to go and prepare lunch now,' he told Ciel, who nodded. Then he turned to me. 'Is there something I could bring you, my Lady?' he asked and the tone in his voice sounded really suspicious.

I shook my head. At the moment I didn't want anything from him. I couldn't even pen my mouth to say anything. I was pretty sure the tone in my voice would've given me away.

When Sebastian had left the room, I sighed. 'I can't believe you can handle that guy 24/7,' I told Ciel, but then I frowned. 'No, I suppose I do. He's the only thing you have, after all.'

That upset Ciel enough to look up from his computer screen. 'Excuse me?'

I smiled. 'Well, I do get it, you know. Your parents were murdered. Your aunt betrayed you. Elizabeth doesn't understand you, is clearly trying to get the old Ciel back. A Ciel who, apparently, wasn't emo. You cannot trust your house staff, I mean, who would blame you after what you had to go through. Sebastian is the only one you can trust, because you know well that he only sticks around for your soul. He won't betray you and will stay by your side 'till the end.' I got tears in my eyes, but I tried to hide them. 'I get it, I do. Because I literally have no one left. And you know what? It freaking sucks.' I wasn't going to count Ash as someone I had left. I didn't know the guy and I didn't trust him at all.

When Ciel didn't say anything, I opened my mouth again. 'But you forget that the darkness is not a blanket. You can't hold all your hatred, your pain, so close to your heart. Because it will draw you in one day and Sebastian wouldn't be able to stop it. Because he isn't giving you any form of kindness of love. He's giving you his service because of his own selfish demands. It cannot comfort, Ciel, the darkness. Darkness doesn't keep you save. It slowly breaks you down until you've completely forgotten who you are.'

It was silent in the room for quite some time. I started to think that Ciel was going to ignore me, but then he spoke: 'Is that why you always act like nothing's wrong? Like there's always hope and light?'

I laughed. 'I hadn't noticed that I act like that. I just push all the darkness in my heart and mind away with all the strength I have. Because that bit of light inside me is my strength. Your darkness, your hate, your desire to bring down the ones who humiliate you, is your strength and that's fine. As long as it doesn't control you.'

It took Ciel another while to react to that. His reaction was beyond anything I'd ever expected. 'Sometimes I believe it already does.'

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><p>XxX<p>

**Chapter twenty-six has ended! Now that I think about it, I've never told you guys, but I actually like Ciel better than I like Sebastian, surprisingly enough. But I think that's because I just want to hug the kid and make everything better. And the fact that Sebastian really does creep me out sometimes.**

**Anyway, happy new year, everyone! :3**

**D8nise: Ha ha, happy new year! :)**

**Shadow demon Kitsune: Thank you! And happy new year to you as well! **

**promocat****: hmm… good question. I certainly think that Sebastian's way of loving someone is different from how 'humans' love someone. And I also think that it will take a bit more time for Sebas-chan to even consider the fact that he might be in love with her. Or even just consider that he - maybe - likes her.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Heh heh, I actually wrote this chapter right after the previous one, but wanted to wait before I uploaded it, but it seems like I can't. :)**

**So enjoy chapter twenty seven!**

**Clarissa: You forgot something.**

**Me: Huh? What did I forget?**

**Clarissa: You don't own Kuroshitsuji.**

**Me: Oh! That's right. I don't! But I do own my OC.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 27**

'Sometimes I believe it already does,' Ciel said.

Then he laughed a laugh that didn't sound happy at all, making me shoot up from the couch, flinching as my body protested. 'What?' I asked, clearly missing something.

'You're saying such clever words,' Ciel said, shaking his head, 'but you don't get it at all.'

I was actually quite sure that I did. Now it appears I did not. 'But—'

Ciel held up a hand to keep me from speaking. 'Even if the darkness does control me, then it does because I allow it to do so. I'm not a victim from my own hatred. I know the path I've chosen. And even though I was still a child when I decided to give up my soul, I still stand behind all my choices.' He laughed again. 'As if I'd let anyone or anything control me without the intention to do so!' Then his smile faded and he looked at me dead serious. 'The light didn't save me. God sure didn't. My hatred saved me. _I _saved me.'

I wanted to cry. 'You didn't save yourself. You just postponed your execution. '

Ciel shook his head again, this time a lot slower. 'You still don't get it, do you?'

'What do I not get?!' I asked, suddenly angry. It wasn't like I was trying to be dumb.

'Being humiliated and brutally murdered is completely different than being killed on my own terms.' He strangled his hands and smiled a small, arrogant smile. 'Wouldn't you agree?'

I opened my mouth. Closed it again. I wasn't sure what to say. Because I knew he was right. I thought Ciel was a victim, someone that needed saving. But Ciel didn't regret anything. He had accepted the consequences long ago. He wasn't a victim, he was a tragedy. 'What the hell did they do to you?' I asked, my voice only a whisper.

Ciel gave me a confused look.

'I don't think your parents' death could drive you to such hatred and despair,' I explained. 'There's more, isn't there? They did something unforgivable to you.' I knew my face looked sad when I asked: 'What did they do to you?'

Ciel looked away, all expressions on his face gone as he was clearly trying to push something away. 'I cannot tell you.'

Well, maybe he should. Talking usually helped. 'But that is—'

He looked at me again, a mask with trauma behind it. 'I cannot tell you, Clarissa!'

I fell back on the couch, felt the tears before I noticed I was crying.

Ciel sighed annoyed. 'And why are you crying now?'

'Whoever did it to you and whatever they did, their deaths aren't worth your soul.' I shook my head slowly.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said, sounding stern for some reason. 'I just told you that I didn't regret anything, didn't I?'

I nodded, still crying.

'Then stop trying to make me regret it. It won't work.'

I sighed, giving up. The tears stopped the moment I found peace with the fact that Ciel didn't want to be saved. 'If there was a way to save yourself,' I asked after a while, not sure how Ciel would like my choice of words, 'would you?'

Ciel, who was already back to work, shrugged. 'That's a bit mean towards Sebastian. He spend all those years serving a kid. I don't think he would let me slip away from his fingers.'

I was quite sure that Sebastian wouldn't. 'Yes, but if you _could,_ would you?'

'I don't know. I don't think about the impossible. My soul is beyond saving. Even though my soul s still in my possession right now, I already lost it. And something lost will never return,' was his answer.

'Well, I don't know,' I said, trying to make this conversation less heavy. 'You could always gauge your eye out.'

'I don't think Sebastian would let me and I doubt it would work,' he said, but I heard in the sound of his voice that he had considered it before.

I wasn't sure how I stood next to him as quick as I did, but I stood there, right in front of him, Ciel looking up at me with frowned eyebrows. 'Can I see?' I asked.

Ciel sighed, looked away for a while. But he took of his eye-patch. Then he turned back to me.

I cupped his face in my hands and lift his face so I could have a better look. His eyes were actually quite big, I realised as I looked into those eye. His right eye wasn't the beautiful blue that his other eye was. It looked… purple. And the mark in his eye, the seal of his contract with a demon. It seemed to glow in his eye and I wondered if it hurt.

My thumb stroked the skin under his right eye and I felt myself being drowned in by the absolute beauty of his right eye. 'It's beautiful,' I said, but it also made me want to cry.

I was surprised that Ciel didn't pull himself free, but he still didn't. 'There's nothing beautiful about it,' he told me, but the tone in his voice gave away that he was embarrassed.

I looked closer, trying to grasp where the light came from. 'Does it hurt?' I asked, frowning by the thought that Ciel had a constant pain in his eye. That would be horrible.

He closed his eyes for a second, seeming more human with both eyes in sight. 'Not as much as before,' he told me. 'It used to hurt quite a bit,' he said it like it was no big deal, but I knew somehow that it must've hurt like hell. 'It got less and less worse every day.' Then he finally pulled away, covering his right eye with his hand. 'I can feel it burn like the day I made the contract when I give an order.' He frowned. 'I think he likes that.' He started to put the eye-patch back on, but I could see that he wasn't used to doing that himself.

'Let me do it,' I offered, reaching towards the strings of the patch.

Ciel let me put on his eye-patch without protesting, but grabbed one of my hands as I tried to pull away again. He looked at me with one eye now, looking surprisingly soft. 'Look out for Sebastian. I don't know what he did to you, but he will crush you if he thinks he could be even a mild danger to me.'

I was actually quite touched that he sounded worried. I didn't let him know that, of course. 'I'm well aware,' I said bitter, knowing that the tone in my voice gave me away. 'Sebastian has made that quite clear.'

Ciel frowned and opened his mouth, clearly to ask a question that I didn't want to answer, then he closed his mouth again and let go of my hand, apparently not interested enough to ask. 'Go and rest a bit,' he said, 'you seem like you need it.'

I nodded and went back to the couch.

Ciel cleared his throat. 'I meant rest in your room, not on my couch,' he then said.

I wasn't sure why, but it was clear that Ciel didn't want me near him right now. So I stood and walked towards to door, but turned around before leaving the room. 'Ciel,' I said, making him look up from his computer again. 'Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it. I hope we can be…' I thought about it for a while not sure with word I could use that wouldn't put him off '…friends,' I decided to go with. Though I was quite sure that he wouldn't like that word.

'Friends?' Ciel repeated, sounding incredible sarcastic.

I nodded and left the room before he could say anything else.

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><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian entered the office only seconds after Clarissa had left. 'Young master, lunch is ready,' he said to Ciel, who wasn't paying attention to his work anymore. 'Today's lunch is scones with homemade strawberry jam.'

Ciel sighed and stood up from his chair. 'Very well.'

The butler smirked. 'I also have a letter for you,' he said, waving the letter to his master as he walked up to his butler.

Ciel put his hand to his forehead, as if he had a headache. 'Read it to me during lunch.'

'May I ask what my young master is thinking about?' Sebastian asked, seeing the strange look in his master's eyes.

As Ciel walked through the corridor, on his way to the dining room, he said: 'Sebastian, do you think—' He stopped, did not want to ask his butler such a question.

'Yes, young master?' Sebastian asked, his eyes glowing with curiosity.

Ciel shook his head. 'No, never mind.'

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><p>XxX<p>

I managed to fall asleep and when I awoke, I felt a lot better. I immediately noticed that Mei-Rin was sitting in a chair besides my bed. She had fallen asleep.

I put a hand on her shoulder and shook her carefully. 'Mei-Rin,' I said, trying to wake her gently.

Mei-Rin opened her eyes and as she tried to rub her eyes, she hit the glass or her glasses with her hand, making me laugh. 'Good morning to you, Mei-Rin,' I said, laughing. Feeling a lot better. 'Did you watch over me?'

Mei-Rin seemed to be completely awake now. 'Yes!' she said. 'Young master ordered me to watch over you until his return!'

That made the laugh disappear. 'Ciel left?'

She nodded enthusiastically. 'Yes! And we'll leave for London this afternoon, so I packed clothes for you!'

Leaving for London? Did that mean that Ciel had another case? I didn't think that we were going just because it was the Christmas-season. And did Ciel have another house in London, or did he own Madame Red's house? Wouldn't surprise me. And why did Mei-Rin say 'we'? Was she coming with us this time?

'Are you coming to London as well?' I asked.

She nodded. 'Yes!'

I pulled the covers away and got out of bed. Then I realised that Ciel had actually ordered his maid to stay by my side and I was again flattered and surprised by his worry. He really was a kind kid, way kinder than he gave himself credit for. Not that I was going to tell him that. I did believe that Ciel didn't think that 'kind' was a compliment.

When I went to the bathroom to check how bad my hair had become, I saw that my eyes weren't purple. Strange. I though Sebastian had said that they were. I shrugged. Well, shit happened all the time since I met Ciel and Sebastian. If I questioned everything, I would drive myself crazy.

I looked at my completely hopeless hair and made a decision. Sebastian already knew about the mark and Ciel barely even looked at me, so I guessed that it was okay to make a bun. But I put on a scarf, just to make sure that no one saw the mark in my neck.

Mei-Rin was still sitting in the chair when I came back into the room. I decided that I could talk to turn until Ciel returned. Though I did think that Mei-Rin wasn't really my type of person. But who was, anyway?

'So, how was your day?' I asked her.

Did she blush? 'Err, well, I had the task to clean the silverware today, but Sebastian didn't let me, so I helped Finnian in the garden until young master called me. Since then I sat here.' I wasn't really sure why she sounded so nervous.

I nodded. 'Sebastian gets angry at you guys quite a lot, doesn't he?'

Mei-Rin looked like she wanted to agree, but she didn't literally do that. 'W-we mess up q-quite a lot, yes!' she said. 'We appreciate that young master still wants us to work at the mansion, yes!'

I smiled. I was sure that had something to do with the whole 'protect the mansion'-thing. Though Sebastian had never told me what made Finnian, Bard and Mei-Rin special. 'I can see that,' was my reaction, which didn't seem very fitting, but was the only response I could think of at the moment.

Mei-Rin's smile faded then, almost as if she thought of something sad. 'Did you and mister Sebastian have a fight?' she asked.

I frowned, wondered where that came from. 'No, I don't think so.' _Mess with her a bit. _I gnashed my teeth.

Mei-Rin noticed that, of course. 'But something did happen, yes?'

I sighed. 'I don't know. I don't think so. It's just that I realised that I was being played and…' I frowned. 'Wait, how do _you _know about that?'

A smile way too innocent to be innocent appeared on her face. 'Maids always see the most interesting scenes, yes!'

Oh gosh. I blushed. 'Then what did you… see exactly?'

She blushed as well. 'Nothing seriously embarrassing, yes!' was the only answer I got.

I thought about the time in the kitchen, when Sebastian had trapped me and seduced me so that he could have my emotions. Or both the times in the ball room. Though I knew that they'd probably seen that, I hadn't really realised it up until now. 'Oh, god!' I said and I could slap myself. Sebastian hadn't only messed with me in private. He had also messed with me in public.

Ugh, if I could, I would kill him.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

When we arrived at the London mansion, which was indeed the house Madame Red used to live in, Ciel was already there.

Me, Mei-Rin and Finnian (Baldroy stayed home to protect the mansion) hadn't even taken of our coats yet when the front door opened again and Lau walked in as if this was his own house. 'My, my, you are already here!' he said. I wasn't sure who he was talking to. I guess it must have been Ciel, since the little earl had entered the entrance hall when we arrived. I didn't think he'd come to welcome as, I think he just followed Sebastian, who _had _come to welcome us, since he was a butler and all.

'You're just coming in unannounced?!' Ciel asked annoyed and angry. 'How often have I told you to at least send a note before you visit?!'

As Lau walked towards Ciel, Sebastian took my coat of. And even though I tried to keep in mind that I was angry at him and I still hurt, his presence made me blush. I tried to hide it, but I knew that he saw it.

'Ah, I vaguely remember that,' Lau said, smiling that dumb smile of his.

Sebastian spoke, with three coats in his hands now. 'As we have a gust, why don't I serve tea?' he offered to his master.

Ciel put a hand to his forehead, as if he had a headache. Maybe he had one. I guessed that Lau's presence _gave _him a headache. He sighed. 'Might as well.'

'I'd rather have chai than English tea,' someone said, but it wasn't Lau who'd said that.

'Might as well,' Ciel said, not noticing that it wasn't Lau who'd said that. Or maybe he did, but he just didn't care.

But the fact that he looked up surprised just moments later told me that he hadn't realised until now.

In the doorway were two men, obviously not from around here, both with dark, olive skin. One was a bit short for a man of his age, probably twenty-something, and had long, dark hair that looked purple. His clothes looked like the clothes from a musical about India. And his eyes were absolutely gorgeous. I would kill for those eyes. They looked like they were made of gold.

The man who stood behind this man had less colourful clothes, but his also looked like a costume. His hair was white, which was short, but he had two long locks which were adorned with beads. He also wore a plain turban, which only showed more that he wasn't from around here. His eyes were green.

Ciel seemed as surprised as I was that they were here. Maybe even more surprised. 'Wh-Wha…?!' he said, pointed at them with his finger.

'Oh, I met them on the street corner,' Lau explained. 'They said they wanted to see you.'

Weird guys from another country wanted to see Ciel? Hm. Maybe it was a business-thing or something.

Ciel ignored him. 'What are you going here?!' he asked the two men. I frowned. It seemed like he knew those guys.

The men had let themselves in, the richer looking one spoke when the other closed the door. 'Why, we're acquaintances now. Have you forgotten already?'

I realised that I didn't know these guys, so I should stay out of it. For now. But someone had to explain this to me later.

'Acquaintances?' Ciel repeated, obviously liking that word just as much as he liked the word 'friends' or 'buddies'.

The richer looking man just passed Ciel, followed by his, supposedly, servant. 'And I saved you, too,' he said, making me raise my eyebrows. Okay, somehow _really _needed to tell me the story behind that.

'Saved me?' Ciel repeated, sounding insulted and also quite angry now. 'Excuse me?!'

I laughed. His angry Ciel was a Ciel that I'd never seen before. Really like a kid.

The man was standing before me now, clearly planning to walk passed as if I was air as well. 'In India, it's the common practice to invite your saviour home and entertain him. Is it the British way to kick one's saviour out into the cold?' The men walked upstairs and it took Ciel a while to get over his anger before walked upstairs and being the curious girl that I was, I followed him. Moments later we were followed by Sebastian, who had put my and the house staff's coats away. I realised that those two were also following us.

Ciel opened the first room we saw when we came upstairs, the room that used to be mine. 'Just who are you, anyhow?!' he asked, still angry.

I laughed when I saw that the man was laying on the bed in a relaxed possession, his servant standing beside him like a butler. 'Me?' he said, sounding strangely seductive. 'I'm a prince.'

My mouth fell open. 'Prince?!' I said, sounding like a little girl.

The servant explained. I noticed now that he had a hand covered in bandages. I wondered what he'd done with it. 'This is the 26th child of the king Bengal,' he said. 26th? Wow. Busy king. It did explain the rich clothing and the golden jewellery, though. 'Prince Soma Ashman Kadar.'

'Thanks for hosting me here, Shorty,' the prince then said, making me laugh again. How come I never thought of that nickname before?

Finnian was standing beside me. 'Wow, you're a prince?!' he said enthusiastically.

'A-A prince!' Mei-Rin, who was standing beside Sebastian, said. 'I've never seen a prince up close before!'

'You may approach,' prince Soma Somewhat Something said, sounding incredible confident, but not in a bad way.

Of course, the two idiots approached immediately.

'What's that "Penkal" place like, yes?!' Mei-Rin asked.

As the prince explained, you could hear the love of his country in his voice. 'It's a holy land blessed by the goddess Kali and the Ganges River.'

Lau had come to stand beside me now, but talked to Ciel, who was standing in front of me. I hadn't noticed before, but Ciel was actually just a tiny bit smaller then I was. Dang it! That meant that I couldn't really call him 'shorty'. What a shame. Well, I was small for my age, so it wasn't strange that he was almost as tall as I was. 'So you brought the other servants with you this time?' Lau asked.

It was Sebastian who answered. 'Yes,' he said, 'Baldroy is watching the mansion.'

'Ah, that should be all right, then,' Lau said, sounding careless. 'Who is this Baldroy?' he then asked, making me want to slap myself in the face. He really did say everything without thinking, didn't he?

Ciel ignored Lau. 'Sebastian, don't let those two out of your sight,' he orderen, clearly talking about the prince and his servant.

'Very good, my Lord.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**End of chapter twenty-seven! I actually dreamed about Ciel yesterday. Well, about his funeral, actually. But Ciel was still alive and with us there. It was strange. We were in this bus and Ciel told us, I'm not sure who 'us' were, that Sebastian was a demon and the whole contract deal and what not. Sebastian wasn't there though :(. But anyway, Ciel cried, so that was strange. And we gave roses or something, well, it was just really strange. But I was really sad when I awoke, because it was the first time I dreamed about something Kuroshitsuji-related.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Konnichiwa!**

**I want to say that after Sunday, I probably won't write for a week of two, since I have school and I have this week coming up where all you have are tests and tests and more tests (not sure what that's called in English though :/ test-week or something?) so I want (actually ****_need_****) to focus on that. But because of the followers (sixty! Sixty followers! That's just awesome!) and because of the sweet and positive reviews (you guys are way too kind to me :D Thank you!) I want to write and write and write.**

**Oh, and I always just write the number of the chapter as the chapter name because I have no idea what else to call it, but I think I'm going to switch to numbers from now on. So instead of 'eleven' it will become 'Chapter 11'.**

**So yeah, that was a little update. I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa. Love you guys and hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 28**

Prince Soma went to sleep soon after Ciel ordered Mei-Rin and Finnian to 'get the hell out of his sight', but his servant, who told me his name was Agni, went to sit in the living room with me to tell me about how he and his master met Ciel and Sebastian.

'Street fight, huh,' I said. I was sitting in front of the window, looking at the snow falling down like angels from the sky.

Agni was sitting next to me in some strange, Indian way of sitting. I had tried to copy it, but I doubt my legs could even do that.

One thing that Agni had done before prince Soma went to sleep, was to make sure that the house was warm, not 'London' warm, but 'Indian-day-in-the-desert' warm, and I had taken my scarf of without thinking twice.

Since Agni had finished his story we were quiet, both staring at the snow. I guessed that that would be fascinating to see, since Agni had probably never seen snow before.

I heard footsteps and I assumed that it must be Finnian, since Mei-Rin wore heels and Sebastian was as silent as a mouse.

But then someone grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, making me fall onto the floor, staring into a single blue eye, that looked pretty intense. 'Were did you get that?!' Ciel asked, sounding incredible emotional for some reason.

It took me a while before I realised that he was talking about the mark in my neck. _Shit! _And I thought that Ciel had already gone to sleep!

I tried to pretend that I didn't understand at all. Okay, I was a bad liar so I kind of acted like a drunk lunatic, but at least that would distract him, right? 'Hey, Shorty! Are you here to watch the snow with us?'

Ciel didn't think it was funny. 'Clarissa, I'm serious,' he said cold.

Then a bandaged hand shot out so Ciel and pulled his hands from my shoulder. 'There now,' he said, 'that's no way to touch a lady. Or speak to one for that matter.'

Ciel looked like he wanted to hit Agni in the face with his walking stick… Which made me think of something. 'Ciel, where's your walking stick?' I asked, looking at him frowning.

Now Ciel was blushing, looking away. Ah, I seemed to be better in distracting people than I thought I was. 'I don't need it all the time.'

'Ciel! We're talking about your leg here! You can't just go and ruin it for the rest of your life!' I said, sounding strangely like a mom.

There followed a moment were Ciel and I seemed to have a conversation with our eyes.

_'__The rest of my life' will be quite a short period of time, _his eye told me.

I frowned. _You don't know that._

He closed his eye. _I do, though._

Agni didn't understand, of course. 'I saw you walking with a walking stick today. Do you have a condition?' he asked Ciel.

Ciel let me go and went to sit in the big chair in the living room. Crossing his legs, he said: 'There's nothing wrong with me.'

I rolled my eyes. _You sure you want to waste the short time you have left with an injured leg?_

Ciel narrowed his eyes. _Shut up._ He then sighed. 'Clarissa, I want you to come to my room,' he said, standing up. 'I prefer talking to you without some servant interrupting our conversation.'

I sighed now too, knowing that I could not keep avoiding this conversation. So I could just as well get it over with. I stood up, but decided that I still wanted to tease Ciel for a bit. 'Yes, my Lord,' I said, copying Sebastian's way of saying it.

Ciel twitched, but didn't say anything. As I followed him to his room, Agni found fault with it. 'Is it appropriate for a young man to have a conversation with a lady in his bedroom?' he asked.

'Don't care,' was the only answer he got from Ciel.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'Drossel?' Ciel said, frowning. Then he looked at his ring, looking angry at it, as if this was its fault. 'That damn demon,' he then muttered, clearly not talking to me.

Ciel slept in Madame Red's old room and was sitting in the chair that stood in the corner of the room, his legs crossed. I just sat on the bed for now, since there wasn't really anywhere else to sit.

'No, I asked him not to tell you. I don't really like people knowing about it.' I brought my hand to the mark to cover it, closing my eyes for only a second.

When I opened them again, I saw that Ciel had pulled one eyebrow up. 'And he actually listened to you? That mark could be a really big clue to who killed my parents.' He grinned. 'I would almost think that that demon doesn't want me to get my revenge.'

I shook my head. 'I made a deal with him… Not that kind of deal!' I added as I saw that Ciel looked at me shocked. 'He said that he would keep it a secret if I let him…' I stopped, didn't want Ciel to know about that. Didn't want _anyone _to know about that. Mei-Rin probably sort of did.

But of course Ciel wasn't going to let it slide. 'What did you give him?' he asked.

'He asked if he could feed off of my emotions,' I said, wanted to run away and hide as soon as I'd sad that.

'Emotions?' Ciel repeated and I realised that Sebastian hadn't told him. Ciel didn't know about it.

And right now I was pissed enough at Sebastian to just them Ciel about it. 'Sebastian feeds off emotions. Yours, your house staff's, everyone. That's how he survives. Your soul is just like some sort of delicacy to him or something.'

Ciel pressed his lips together as he thought about this new information. 'How do you know that?' he asked after a while.

'He told me,' I said, a bit proud of myself that I knew something that Ciel hadn't known. 'I'm not sure why he told me it, though. Maybe just to see my reaction or something.'

'And he can feed off of anyone whenever he feels like it?' he then asked, sounding a bit worried. 'And without the victim noticing anything?'

I nodded. 'I do believe that's how it works. I'm not sure though.' I pulled a face. 'That demon could always be lying, of course.'

'He does not lie,' Ciel said, making a waving move with his hand. 'Twisting the truth, surely and keeping things from his master, of course, but he does not lie.' Then he frowned. 'But if he does feed off of our emotions whenever he feels like it and without anyone noticing, why did he have to ask you for permission?' he asked me.

'Ah,' I said. 'Yeah. Well. I don't really get that myself. But from what I got, it seems like I can put up walls in my head, or something, to protect my emotions from being stolen. Or something.' I had no idea if that was the correct explanation or not.

Ciel put his hands under his chin. 'How interesting,' he said and the way he acted seemed way too suspicious. 'Maybe you really are the key to this case.'

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. '…Thanks… I guess?'

'Clarissa,' he then said, sounding cold and stern all of the sudden. 'I do hope that you won't betray me. If you aren't already.' He sounded like he wouldn't be surprised if I was.

I looked shocked. Was I really that untrustworthy? 'Do you really think I would betray you?' I asked him.

The smile on his face was devilish, made me feel like I wasn't talking to a human anymore. 'All humans are the same. They betray for their own selfish needs. No one cares for others. Not really. That's why demons are more trustworthy. At least they are straightforward. If they hate you, they will not lie. They will most probably kill you, but they won't pretend that they _do _like you for their own profits. Humans are way worse than demons.'

Okay, so Ciel had trust issues. _No, _I realised after a while. This is a boy whose spirit has been broken down, hopes and dreams crushed. I wouldn't believe in the good in humanity, or the world for that matter, either, if the only one to come for my rescue was a demon.

I just stared at him, not sure how I looked or what I felt. This rotten world destroyed so many lives for nothing. What did it accomplish? Ciel had lost his faith in humanity, but I started to lose my faith in God.

Ciel looked flustered as he looked away from me, a frown on his face. 'Why are you looking at me like that?' he asked.

At first, I didn't answer. I was just thinking. Being angry at Sebastian wouldn't accomplish anything. Feeling hurt wouldn't either. He was indeed straightforward; he wouldn't have done it without good reason and he would not regret or apologize for it at all. The only thing I could do was accept the fact that Sebastian had easily fooled me and was that really that hard to do?

I was still staring at him when I finally said: 'It's nothing. I just… think you might be right.'

XxX

* * *

><p>It was prince Soma who woke me next morning.<p>

'We're going out, Clary!' he said with his accent, 'show us around town today!' It was clearly an order, not a request.

That was so _not _the thing I wanted to hear first thing in the morning. 'Eh?!' I said as I sat right up in my bad, one hand at my head because it ached.

Agni and Soma both stood next to my bed. But Agni had the good manners to greet me at least. 'Namaste ji, lady Lane,' he said, clearly an Indian greeting of some sorts.

I was too tired to make a fuss about this. 'Why are you guys in my room?' I asked, not being polite to this prince since he wasn't exactly nice to me. Which prince invades the room of a lady when she's sleeping?

'Because Ciel has lessons today and I want someone to show us around town,' Soma said, as if it was obvious.

The thought of Soma and Agni invading Ciel's room before mine made me chuckle. Wish I could've seen that. I bet Ciel _did _make a scene. 'Why should I?' I asked, staying under the covers as long as those two were in my room.

Then I saw that Sebastian was standing in the doorway, looking amused at me, as if he was having fun. I glared at him with narrowed eyes, hoping my glare could kill. I noticed that he wasn't wearing his normal outfit, but the brown outfit he'd worn to Aleister's party. The 'I'm a tutor not a butler'-outfit. He even had the glasses on.

It was easier than I had thought it would be, accepting the fact that I'd been fooled and getting on with my life. So Sebastian didn't like me. That wasn't really a surprise now, was it? He probably didn't even think I was remotely attractive, since I was a filthy human that was good for nothing except food.

Then prince Soma asked my attention again. 'Because I order you to do so,' he told me, taking the covers off.

I didn't scream like any normal girl would've done, I just sighed. I gave Sebastian another glare, but it was clear that he wasn't going to help me, so I looked back at the two. 'We're not in your country right now, I don't have to listen to you, you know.'

Prince Soma looked offended for a second, but before he could open his mouth, Sebastian _did _come for my rescue. 'I'm very sorry, but lady's schedule is also very busy today,' he said as he approached us. 'But please stay inside, it's storming outside right now, anyway.' Then he bowed. 'I'm very sorry, but I have to return to my master's side now.' And then he walked towards the door. He turned around in the doorway though, looking at me. 'Young master has violin lessons first thing in the morning.' Then he turned around and walked away.

I smiled, understanding why he'd told me that. I had to hurry up and get dressed. Ciel playing violin wasn't something I wanted to miss.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I arrived at the room that used to be Madame Red's office in time. I guessed that was because Ciel had to have breakfast before violin lessons.

I noticed that prince Soma and Agni had followed me, but Soma sent Agni away soon after entering the room.

There was a grant piano in the room and a music stand, but all the other things such as Madame Red's desk and book cases had been removed.

I sat down on the piano stool while Ciel was looking at the sheet music on his music-stand. '_Bach's Chaconne?_' he said, confused. 'I can't play something this difficult…'

Sebastian, who was also holding a bow, but not a violin, like Ciel did, used his bow to pull up Ciel's face. 'I make the rules here,' he said, clearly enjoying the power he now had over his master. 'Do you have a problem with my teaching methods?'

Ugh, that smile of his really was way too beautiful.

I thought that Ciel was going to say something, that he shouldn't act so cocky or something, but he didn't. He just used his bow to the Sebastian's bow out of his face, but the look on his face was quite comedic. He looked like a little kid whose favourite toy had been stolen.

But Ciel did start playing the violin without protesting and as I heard him play I was surprised that he thought that _Bach's Canon _(or something) was too difficult for him. He seemed to handle it okay.

And I have to admit that Ciel playing the violin was kind of hot. I said it, okay? He looked really attractive. Even that ridiculous, Victorian era, outfit he was wearing seemed cool for the moment.

'That's pretty good,' Sebastian said, making me pull up on eyebrow. Since when did Sebastian compliment Ciel? No, I take that back. Since when did Sebastian compliment anyone?

Then I noticed that Agni carried a statute, like a legit pretty big statue, into the room, Lau following him. He put it on the grand piano, _almost_ blocking my view of Ciel. As Agni and prince Soma sat on the and started praying in their language, Ciel stopped playing and looked up to see what was going on. He looked quite confused when he saw the statue. 'What is that?' he asked.

Lau was the one to answer. 'They seem to be praying, but it's quite a surreal idol, isn't it?' he said. As he said that, me, Sebastian and Ciel approached the strange object to give it a better look.

It was. Oh God, it was. It looked like a Hindi god or something.

But Sebastian obviously didn't think so. 'To me it merely looks like the statue of a woman carrying a severed head, wearing a necklace of severed heads and dancing on top of a man's stomach,' he said it as if this was a normal thing to witness.

I looked at him, an eyebrow pulled up. 'You forgot the four arms, the moon-shaped ears and the long tongue, dearie,' I told him, making him give me an amused smile.

Then, finally, someone who actually did know what they were talking about turned around to explain. 'She is Kali,' Agni explained, 'a goddess of our Hindu faith.'

'A goddess of India?' Ciel repeated with his violin and bow still in his hand.

'Kali is the wife of Shiva and the goddess of power,' Agni said.

Great. That answered all my questions.

But Agni wasn't finished yet. 'Long ago, a demon rashly challenged her to a fight. Naturally, she was victorious. However, afterwards her destructive urges were not quelled, and she abandoned herself to destruction and carnage.'

Well, that sure sounded like fun.

Agni's look became more intense as he continued his story. 'But then! To protect the earth, her husband Shiva threw himself at her feet!' He pointed at the man's body under the strange looking lady.

Ciel didn't look interested anymore, neither did I, but Sebastian seemed to enjoy himself enough. Most likely because it was a story about death and murder, two things I knew Sebastian liked.

'Treading on her husband with her unclean feet brought Kali back to her senses and peace returned to the world,' Agni said, finishing the story. He wasn't done talking though, as he turned back to the statue and closed his eyes in a praying position, he said: 'Kali is a great goddess who defeated the demon after a desperate battle. As proof, she carries the demon's head.'

'There you have it,' Ciel said and it took me a while to realise that he was talking to Lau. Wasn't sure what he meant, though.

It was Sebastian who reacted. 'Hmm, I wasn't aware of anyone so strong,' he said, bringing his glove hand to his chin. 'I'll have to take care if I travel to India.' The funniest thing was that he actually sounded serious, too.

Princa Soma got up then, still in the praying position he was in, but now standing. 'Now then,' he said. 'Since we're done praying, it's time to go out!' As he said that he grabbed Ciel and dragged him towards the doorway.

While that happened, Ciel protested. 'I told you, I'm busy!' he said, his voice higher than normal.

I laughed. Poor Ciel seemed more like a kid than he thought he did. Not sure he would like me to tell him that, though.

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**This chapter is a bit shorter than normal: mijn excuses (a formal way to apologize in Dutch. See? I learned you something new today).**

**Did any of you actually watch the anime in dub? Because I recently saw a bit of it and the thing I noticed was that the feel of the characters and the show overall was very different, it seemed like the English voices changed the personality of the characters and the show itself. Don't know what it is, though, but I really ****_really_**** do prefer to watch it subbed (as I do with every anime, actually). Also, I'm just going to say it, Ciel sounds like a girl in the English dub. I know that he's voiced by a girl, but the Japanese version is voiced by a girl as well and I had no trouble believing that the Japanese Ciel was male. The English voice clearly sounds like a female trying to sound like a boy and I find it very distracting. Also, no one can do Sebastian better than Ono. At least that's what I think. But I think that, as far as dubbing goes, it's pretty decent. I guess. I haven't watched the whole show in dub (hell no, never going to do that. Although I don't hate everyone who watches stuff dubbed, I really don't like watching it myself.) so I wouldn't really know.**

**I do like watching panels of English dub actors though, which is strange since I don't know most of them and I don't really know any of their work. The only anime I've ever seen fully in dub was Pokémon, but that was Dutch dub, and InuYasha, but that was before I even knew what anime was and I was just clicking on random shit on YouTube and then I ended up watching a whole series. Oh, and I've seen Death Note in dub too, but only a few episodes. Still not sure if I like the dub of Death Note or not, but I think it holds up fine. I think they did I pretty good job with the L they cast, he sounded pretty… L-like (found no other way to describe what L sounds like).**

**promocat: I'm not trying to make Ciel seem stupid, he clearly is one of the cleverest minds on the show. I do think Clarissa is a bit stupid though, at least when it comes to the demon-contract thing. I actually do not think Ciel is crazy either. He does have his crazy moments, sure, but he always managed to get himself back together so he can focus on his goal again.**

**BlackMoon901: It was pretty interesting, indeed. But when I awoke, the first five minutes was me trying to figure out what the hell just happened. And, of course, I tried to have a Kuroshitsuji-related dream again yesterday, but that didn't work. Sucks to be me. But thank you! I really keep being unsure whether my story is any good or not, so I ****_love _****to hear that it's still fun to read :)**

**Shadow demon Kitsune: Aww, thank you! That means more to me than you might think :D! And I'll try, ha ha.**

**Oh my god. I just noticed that I'm talking way too much again. Oh, well. See you guys!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey hey hey! This is probably the last chapter for a while, but if it's isn't then a new chapter will be up on Friday (because I don't do anything on a Friday evening, because I don't have a life and never go outside if I don't have to). But I will not upload between the 10th and the 18th of January.**

**And I wanted to say something that some of you might like, some of you might hate. I decided that I ****_am _****going to do the Noah's Ark Circus Arc. Not only because I would love to put Clarissa in a circus (XD) but also because there's not enough story left to come across every scene that I had in mind, there is a lot of stuff, a lot of conversations and scenes, that ****_need_**** to happen before I can go on.**

**The Circus Arc will be on the same place as it is in the manga, so after the Curry Arc.**

**I actually planned on shortening the Curry Arc, because it doesn't do much for the Clarissa-story, except for 'introducing' Ash. But I decided to keep it as it is. Mostly because I love Agni and Soma.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa!**

**I think that was everything that I wanted to say before this starts. Enjoy chapter 29 everyone!**

**XxX**

**Chapter 29**

'Honestly, when are you going to finish?'

Princa Soma and I were laying on a carpet on Grell's old room, which was empty now. Wasn't sure it had always been empty or not, but now it was. Agni had brought the carpet when he realised that there was nowhere else to sit in this room.

Prince Soma was laying on his stomach and looked bored, Agni was sitting behind him with a very neutral expression and I was laying on my back and had pulled my head backwards so that I could look at Ciel and Sebastian as they were training. Fencing-training, to be exact. Yeah, I didn't know that still was a thing either.

I had been chatting with Soma up until now, Soma had decided that he'd waited long enough.

'I say, what are you doing?' Soma said when his other question wasn't answered. 'I say!' he said when he still didn't get an reaction.

'Be quiet!' Ciel said annoyed, 'you're distracting me!'

Soma rolled his eyes. 'British people are so short-tempered,' he said bored.

'Thanks,' I said, pulling one eyebrow up.

He gave me a little smile. 'British nobles, then.'

I laughed. 'I do believe I agree with that.' Then I decided that I wanted to irritate Ciel too. 'Ciel! Ciel! Prince Soma wants your attention!'

Ciel turned to us, looking extremely annoyed. 'All right, fine!' he said angry. 'If you want my attention that badly, I'll oblige!'

'Oblige?' Soma repeated, looking at me with a look that told me that he'd never heard of the word before.

'Ciel, Ciel, Ciel,' I said, sounding like a cartoon character's mother. 'You don't use such difficult words and expect these Indians to understand you. English is not their first language, you know?'

Ciel held out his hand to Sebastian, who gave him his fencing foil. Boy that sounded weird. 'Why are you so annoying today?' he asked me.

I pulled the most innocent face I could. 'I'm not doing anything, Ciel! I just want the prince to have a nice time while he is in London.'

Ciel pressed his lips together and threw the foil to the prince, who shot up and caught it. 'Alright, then,' Ciel said. 'I'll entertain you.'

Soma chuckled like a little boy he'd gotten his first toy car. 'Then if I win, you'll go out with me and show me around town.' It wasn't a question.

Ciel pointed with his foil to the prince, trying to look threatening in that silly little get-up of his. 'If you can win,' he said arrogantly.

The look on Sebastian's face made me laugh. He looked like he really did not want this kind of shenanigans right now.

'I wish you luck,' Agni said while the prince stood in position to start. I wondered why the prince didn't need to wear a fence-uniform. It looked kind of dangerous just in his normal clothes.

Not that the foils they were fighting with could cause any harm. They were made for training and didn't even have a sharp end.

Agni looked at me. 'Do you want some tea, lady Lane?' he asked.

'Clarissa, please,' I said, 'and I would love some tea.' I always rolled my eyes at myself. Typical British person that I was.

Sebastian stood between Ciel and Soma and raised his hand. 'Begin!' he said and after that he stepped back, making sure that he didn't stand in their way.

I wasn't really interested in this fencing stuff, certainly not after having to see it for over an hour now, but when Sebastian was fighting, I at least had something to look at. So I just stared at the ceiling, listened to Ciel as he made arrogant remarks and smiled as I heard that Soma indeed did not the rules of fencing.

Then, suddenly, Agni was gone. The teapot fell out of his hands and landed all over me, making me flinch from the heat. 'Ouch!' I said as Agni screamed: 'Your Highness, look out!'

I had shot up and saw that Ciel was on the ground the same moment that I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. 'Are you okay?' Sebastian asked, frowning.

'I'm fine,' I lied, cause clearly my arms and neck were burned. Maybe I should take a cold shower. But right now that didn't matter. 'Worry about your master,' I told Sebastian.

But Agni already did that. He ran to Ciel to help him up. 'L-Lord Phantomhive! I'm so sorry! When I saw the prince losing, my reflexes took over…'

Ciel _did _seem fine though. At least he wasn't injured.

Then Soma laughed. 'Good job protecting your master, Agni. I commend you. Agni is my _khansama. _He belongs to me. In other words, I win.'

'B-but…!' Ciel protested.

The Lau was suddenly standing beside me and Sebastian. He'd been standing across the room. 'My, my. Butler, it looks like you'll have to avenge your master. For goodness sake.'

Ah, the irony was almost funny. It would have been funny if I wasn't in pain. I pretend I wasn't though. What kind of pussy would I be, if I would cry because tea spilled over me?

Sebastian grabbed the fencing foil. 'This is what you get for provoking a novice who doesn't know the rules,' he said to his master, making Ciel clench his fist and look angry at him. 'However, as the Phantomhive butler, I cannot remain quiet when someone harms my master. And more importantly, we're a full ten minutes behind schedule now.'

Geez, what an organized demon he was.

Ciel looked at Sebastian with a sour glare now. 'That's what you really care about, isn't it?'

'Interesting,' Soma said. 'All right, I'll allow a duel.' The turned to his servant. 'Agni, in the name of Kali, make sure you don't lose.' He handed Agni the foil.

Ciel shot up, stood straight and proud as he said: 'Sebastian, this is an order—'

Sebastian put his hand up to shut his young master up. The look on Ciel's face as he did that was really comical. 'I will, young master,' Sebastian said, knowing the order before he heard it, 'but first I believe that miss Lady needs some medical attention.'

All the men in the room turned to me and I blushed. _Geez, since when did _he _care?_

XxX

I was brought to my old bathroom, yes, I was _brought, _cause apparently I couldn't walk to the bathroom myself, and Mei-Rin got called to oil me after a cold shower. Agni, who had carried me while apologizing the whole time, left after bringing me to the bathroom.

I actually wanted to slap myself in the face. Now I would miss the most interesting duel, while I had to sit through so many boring ones!

I left the bathroom wearing my pyjama, since it was loose and Sebastian had told me to wear something lose because that would feel better. Mei-Rin stood there, ready to put the ointment on for me, but I just took it from her and said that I could handle it myself.

Jesus, how had Agni managed to get the water so hot? It felt like it was hotter than boiling hot lava. I knew it wasn't, but it hurt like hell.

The only burned place I couldn't reach was my back, but I decided to let that slide for now. Burning marks like this surely wouldn't kill me. It had been only boiling water after all.

I didn't return to the room where they were fencing. Mostly because I knew that the duel would be over by now, but also because I didn't want the prince to see me in my pyjamas. Sebastian had seen it numerous times already and Ciel and Lau had also seen it before, but it was somehow more embarrassing when I had to deal with a prince.

Someone knocked on the door soon after I had sat down on my bed in an uncomfortable position, making sure that none of the burns hurt while I sat. 'Yes?' I said, but the person was already coming in.

'Hello, miss Lane. How are your burn wounds?' Sebastian asked, a polite smile on his face.

'I'm fine,' I told him, really wanting him to leave. I couldn't keep my emotions under control with Sebastian here.

Sebastian didn't give a shit about that though. 'I do believe you've missed a spot,' he told me, grabbing the ointment that I had put on my nightstand.

I looked at him, not sure what he was going to do. 'What are you doing?' I asked carefully.

The smile on his face was way too much for me to handle. 'I'm going to take care of you, of course. You can't reached your back yourself.' He sat down the bed beside me. 'Undress.'

'Excuse me?!' I shot up from the bed, hugging myself to make sure that he wouldn't rip my clothes off. 'I'm not going to undress while you are looking at me?'

Sebastian sighed and rolled his eyes. 'Don't feel unnecessary flattered. I don't want to see that. I just want to put some ointment on your back and put a bandage around it, so that you can wear clothes without all too much pain.'

Still really didn't want to take my clothes off. Now that I knew that Sebastian did not lie, I felt insulted. Oh? So I wasn't attractive.

Of course I wasn't. I was a human, after all.

I sighed and sat back on the bed, my back towards him as I pulled my pyjama shirt over my head, holding it against the front of my body.

Sebastian sighed and I felt how he took my bra of, making me scream and almost – _almost – _turn around. 'Hey! There was a reason I didn't take that off!' I told him.

'I'm sorry,' he said, not sounding sorry at all, 'but it was in the way.' Then I felt his soft hands against my back, putting the ointment on my back with his bare hands.

Finding this silence way to awkward, I decided to start a conversation. 'So, did you win?' I asked him.

'It was a draw,' he answered almost immediately.

Pfft, as if a normal human would ever be equal to a demon. 'Ciel said that you didn't lie,' I said cynical, clearly not believing him.

'Well, he _did _order me not to lie to _him_. He never said lying in general.' He sighed. 'But it really was a draw.'

I believed him, though this new information sure was interesting. So he couldn't lie to Ciel, but he could lie to me and everyone else. Hmm. 'Don't tell me that guy is a demon or something.' I pulled a face. 'Or a reaper.'

'No,' Sebastian answered as he put the bottle of ointment on the bed beside me. 'He is just a human.' Again that tone, that strange way he always talked about humans.

'Huh,' I said, surprised. I wasn't sure what to think of it. 'So humans _can _be just as strong as demons.'

'Hmm,' Sebastian said, but it didn't sound like a 'yes'. He started to put the bandage on and handed it to me, and I understood that I had to do the front and then give it back to him. I was happy that he at least gave me that kind of privacy.

'You sound like you do not agree with that,' I said as I gave the bandage back to him.

He was way faster than I was and gave it already back to me. 'A demon in his human form isn't really a good thing to go on. I have many limitations in this form.' He took the bandage from me when I handed it to him.

'Fascinating,' I said, not really thinking that but not sure what else to say.

'Done,' Sebastian said after a while.

The moment he said that I put my clothes back on as fast as I could. Then I turned around. 'Thank you,' I said and I knew I was blushing. 'I really don't know why you are being so kind to me, but I appreciate it.'

Sebastian smiled an way too polite smile with closed eyes. 'Young master ordered me to take care of you and watch over you, so I do what my master ordered me to do.' Then his laugh disappeared. 'Though I am amazed everything I get so see how weak humans are. Can everything harm you?'

Just as I opened my mouth to protest, he was gone.

XxX

Prince Soma gave me some wide-falling, Indian clothes to put on as an apology and even though I didn't look very good in the, I wore them the rest of the day. Even during dinner. Now that I had bandages put on I felt better, but I was sure that it would take a while for the wounds to heal. Which meant that I had to change the bandages sometime. Ugh, I would ask Mei-Rin then.

'How long do you people instead to stay here?' Ciel asked during dinner.

Soma and Ciel were sitting at the head of the table, one on each side and Ciel was staring and Soma with a not-so polite glare.

'We'll leave when our business is finished,' Soma told Ciel, his elbows on the table. I was surprised that Ciel or Sebastian didn't say anything about the etiquette or something, since even I knew that having your elbows on the table wasn't proper.

'Come to think of it,' Lau said, who was also still invading Ciel's space, 'you said you were searching for someone, right?'

Ciel looked at Lau annoyed, not really listened to what he said. 'And why are you staying here too?' he asked him.

'An interesting question,' was the only answer Lau gave.

'I'm looking for a woman,' Soma then said, taking something out of his jacket. It was a really ugly drawing of an… alien… girl? Or maybe it was a fish. I wasn't sure. 'Her name is Mina,' he said. 'She was a servant at my palace.'

Then, shockingly enough, Ciel out his elbows on the table. Okay, maybe he didn't know because he was raised by a demon or something. Now that I think about… he _was _raised by a demon wasn't he? His parents died when he was… twelve? Ten? I didn't remember. But I knew that they had been dead for quite some time. Hmm. Maybe that demon that a bad influence on him.

I almost laughed at myself. _A demon having a bad influence? No kidding!_

'Sebastian,' Ciel said, pointed with his fork to his butler, 'does that give you enough to find her?'

Highly doubt if a girl that Sebastian could do anything with that picture of a fish, whether that was supposed to be a girl of not.

Sebastian looked at the drawing and pulled a face. The funniest thing was that Soma was still dead serious. 'Even I can't do much with this…' Sebastian said after looking at it for a while. 'But I'll try my best.'

I rolled my eyes. _One hell of a show-off._

'And?' Ciel asked as he went on eating. 'What is she doing in England?'

Still holding on to the horrible drawing, Soma said: 'Mina was my attendant… more or less my nursemaid. She'd been with me ever since I could remember. My father and mother never even looked my way. I was always alone in the palace…'

Yeah, sorry. I couldn't feel sorry for a rich-ass prince who lived in a palace. Because I also was always alone. I just didn't live in a palace. And I didn't have servants. And I got beaten up quite a lot. Jup, I think I win.

'But Mina always stayed by my side,' Soma went on. 'But… a British nobleman with his eye on her kidnapped her and took her to England while I was away.'

Okay, so she was kind of like an older sister. I understood why he came to get her back. What I didn't get was why he hadn't found her already. He was a prince, right? And rich, probably. Hire the FBI or the CIA or call the cops. Was that really that hard?

Ciel wasn't impressed by his little background story. 'In other words,' he said, 'you came here to get this woman back?'

Soma out the drawing down. 'Yes,' he said determined. 'I'll get her back and bring her home with me, no matter what!'

Ciel wasn't impressed by his determination either. 'That's a lot of fuss over one servant,' he said, looking down at his food.

That insulted Soma, apparently. He shot up. 'No, it's not!' he screamed. He ran over to Ciel and grabbed him, almost pulling him out of his chair. I was surprised that Sebastian didn't do anything, but he let the scene play out.

'Can you even comprehend my despair?! Can you even comprehend what it feels like to be separated from her?!' Soma screamed.

I cringed as he said that. _Ouch._

'No, I can't,' Ciel said, making me and Soma make a surprised sound. 'The kind of trifling despair something like that could inspire? I can't understand it, and I don't care to.'

_Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies._

Ciel slapped Soma's hands away and walked towards the door. 'Some things won't come back, not matter how much you struggle. And some despair is impossible to escape.' As he left the room, he said: 'Maybe you can't understand that, though.' And I was sure that those words weren't a lie. I wasn't sure about everything else though. Wasn't such despair the thing that had let to his contract with Sebastian? I looked at the demon, who just stared back. Then I stood up from my chair. 'Excuse me,' I said and after that I ran out of the room, following Ciel.

I wasn't surprised to see him standing in the hallway, a hand over his eye-patch with his other eye closed.

I didn't say anything, though I knew that he must have heard me. But he gasped surprised when I put my arms around him and hugged him. I had wanted to for such a long time and even though he maybe didn't appreciate it, it calmed me down to hear his heart beat in his chest, to know that at least he was still human.

'_Some things won't come back, no matter how much you struggle_,' he said, but it was so soft that I was sure he was only saying it to himself.

Then he pulled away from me, but I was surprised that he didn't get angry at me. He just looked at me for a while with a pained look and then he looked away. 'I'm going to my room,' he announced, but I realised that he wasn't talking to me when I saw Sebastian standing in the hallway. 'Bring tea to my room,' he said to Sebastian. 'And some sweets.' Then he walked past me and walked towards the stairs.

'Yes, my Lord,' Sebastian said, but he was staring at me as he said it.

XxX

I was wearing my pyjamas again and was walking through the house, trying to understand where everyone had gone. Mei-Rin and Finnian had gone to sleep, Sebastian had the ability to completely disappear, but I didn't know where Ciel, Lau, Soma and Agni were.

I was surprised to find at least two of those in Ciel's room. Well, I wasn't surprised to find Ciel in his own room, but I never thought he would let Lau – _Lau _of all people! – into his room.

They were playing some sort of card game that I didn't understand because I'd never played games. 'Were are Agni and Soma?' I asked as I sat beside Lau on the couch. Ciel was sitting in the chair at the other side of the table.

'They went out about two hours ago,' Ciel told me, sounding grumpy for some reason. He did look better than before, though. I seemed like Ciel was his best when he was in the moment and not dwelling on the past. Then the sound of a door opening and closing and two men with familiar accents talking loudly in the entrance hall was enough for the three of us to know that they were back. I couldn't hear what they were saying, though.

'So they're back,' Ciel said.

I leaned towards Lau to look at his cards, but immediately leaned away when he looked at me with a flirtatious look that I did not trust at all. 'I have to say those two are very suspicious,' Lau said.

'Well, yes, but I don't see how they'd benefit from those crimes. They don't seem to bear much of a grudge over colonial rule. And if they are doing it,' Ciel put one of his cards on the table, 'would they waltz right by me on their way to commit the crimes? It's like begging me to suspect them.'

I wanted to ask about which crimes he was talking about, but I didn't want to annoy him more than I had already done today and I guessed I could just read it in the papers or something.

'True,' Lau said, putting one of his own cards on the table. 'Then maybe they really are just looking for someone?'

Ciel put all his cards on the table and I wasn't sure if this meant that he'd won or lost. I didn't know anything about the game, after all. 'It's still too soon to say,' Ciel finally said, looking out of the window where the sky was still filled with snow. Then he sighed and turned back to me. 'Do you want to play, Clarissa?'

I shook my head a bit too quick. 'Oh, no. I don't know any games, so I would just be a bother. But thanks for asking.'

'It's not a bother at all,' Ciel grumbled. 'Not knowing any games, what kind of teenage girl are you.' He handed me a few cards and looked at me with a serious look. 'Now listen closely, because I will only explain it once,' he said.

I smile crossed my lips. _Way kinder than he gives himself credit for._

But then the smile faded. Because 'kind' didn't seem like a compliment anymore. It was a weakness.

XxX

**Chapter 29 has ended!**

**I actually didn't want to do the ointment-scene at first, but that conversation needed to happen and she needed to hurt herself (sorry Clarissa), so it seemed like a good idea. And I'm thinking of giving you a Dutch word every chapter, because I think that's funny. And because this is a fanfic for an anime, I will give the Japanese word with it as well, which means that I have limited words, but okay. Today's word is: world. In Dutch, world is 'wereld' and in Japanese world is 'sekai' (it can also mean 'society' or 'universe' I believe, not sure about that though). You probably knew that already though, since the word 'sekai' is used all the time. It's also the name of that one chick from 'School Days', but we're not talking about that. Ever.**

**And to get this out of the way, because this isn't one that I'm going to do: Black butler. 'Black' in Dutch is 'zwart' and 'butler' in Dutch is… 'butler'. So that means that 'Black Butler' in Dutch is 'Zwarte Butler' (the 'e' behind zwart is a grammar rule that I'm too lazy to explain). And in Japanese, of course 'Kuroshitsuji'. 'Kuro' means black, 'shitsuji' means butler. There you have it.**

**BlackMoon901: ha ha, thanks :) Hope that you did enjoy the dream, even though it was creepy. I think that Kuroshitsuji is way creepier than some give if credit for.**

**justaislinn: if you literally translate 'mijn excuses' to English, it would be 'my excuses'. That sounds a bit weird XD. If you can handle many languages, that's cool! I've had French, German, Spanish and English in school and I totally suck at all of them :/, except English, but that's because of movies, shows, books and that kind of stuff. And thank you so much! I will try my best! And I love eating way too much to forget it XD**

**promocat: yeah, I did think it was pretty well done. I think it has a lot to do with what you're used to, since Japanese voices are very different (think about all the girls with the high voices for example).**

**Love you guys and see you next time!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hello, everyone! I'm back! Well, for now, tomorrow I'll be busy with homework again, so yeah, I probably write two chapters today. Maybe three. Depends.**

**Hope you guys had a great week or two and sorry for not updating for so long! But wow! More than 70 followers?! That's something! Anyway, enjoy chapter 30 and remember; I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own Clarissa.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 30**

Ciel hadn't even began explaining the game when Sebastian's face appeared in the window. Upside down. I could only stare amazed. Was there something that guy couldn't do?

'Young master, he's on the move,' he told Ciel, his hair looking very funny because he was upside down.

Ciel acted like he'd seen this sort of trick before. Lau also didn't look surprised. 'All right,' Ciel said, 'let's follow him.'

Of course they were talking about Agni, I wasn't stupid. It couldn't be Soma because Agni wouldn't let Soma go without him. And it was clear that Sebastian meant that only one person was on the move.

I stood up. 'Alright, then. Let's go.'

Just as Ciel opened his mouth to say something, probably something like that I shouldn't come with them because I was stupid or something, there was someone standing at the door I'd left open and said: 'Take me with you!'

We all turned to Soma, who was standing in the doorway with a determined expression on his face.

'You…?' Ciel said surprised.

'I've known all along that Agni was going out after I went to bed,' Soma explained. Well, then I had guessed him stupider than he is. 'I want to know what he's doing!'

'Yes!' I said, immediately understanding. 'Of course we'll take you with us!' I turned to Ciel. 'We will, right?'

Ciel sighed and looked at Sebastian, who was still hanging upside down. 'Well,' he said slowly, turning back to me. 'Prince Soma can come with us. But you, Clarissa, you have to stay here. You'll only be in our way. And not only that, you're injured as well.'

'Injured?' I repeated. 'Such a minor—'

Ciel hold up his hand to silence me. 'I won't allow it. Sebastian, we're leaving. If you don't leave know we might lose sight him.'

'Yes, my Lord,' but the words had lost their flair because some random dude who was hanging upside down was saying them.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I was surprised that I managed to fall asleep that night. Not only that, I slept very well, that was a first. But I didn't wake up in the morning. I woke up in the middle of the night.

_They're back, my Lady, _I heard someone whisper in my ear, waking me up and disappearing before I could open my eyes. When I walked downstairs I saw that the voice had indeed been right. They were back. But I immediately noticed that Agni wasn't with them.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Sebastian looked at me with a serious expression and put a finger in front of his mouth to tell me that I should keep my mouth shut. Which I did, much to Sebastian's and my own surprise.

'That man was like a superhuman,' Lau said, bringing the cup of tea to his mouth. Yes, you heard it right. Ciel was so British that he even drank tea with his guests in the middle of the night.

Soma wasn't drinking his tea though. 'It's _Samadhi_, a state of mental concentration. When he gets like that, no one can touch him.'

I frowned, sure that they were talking about Agni, but not understanding what this was about. I looked at Sebastian again, who made a gesture that looked like he was fencing. I remembered that Sebastian had told me that the dual between him and Agni had been a draw, but I wasn't sure what that should tell me. What did Agni do this evening to bring this kind of topic up?

'_Samadhi_?' Ciel repeated, clearly not understanding the word just like me and Lau.

It wasn't Soma who explained, but Sebastian, while he did he kept looking at me, not looking at his master, as he answered his question. 'I imagine it's a type of trance. He's producing superhuman power through his absolute faith in his master. It's the power of faith, born from believing in and loving someone.'

What? That sounded like rubbish. It's not like everyone who believed in God had superhuman power, even if their faith and love was absolute. But maybe no one loved God like that. Maybe no one had such absolute believe in anything or anyone. No one except humans like Agni. 'A power a normal human could never obtain,' I murmured and from the look that Sebastian gave me I guessed that he'd heard me.

'Then why would he betray me?' Soma asked, suddenly upset. His fist slammed on the table and I was surprised that the teacups didn't fall over. 'Why do the people close to me always leave?!' Then he knocked the tea cups over himself, shoving them of the table like it was their fault.

Ciel just witnessed this little drama scene with a bored and tired expression on his face, but when the teacups hit the ground he clearly started to get angry. 'Why, you…'

Soma shot up from his chair, clenching his hands in to fists. 'Why? Why?!' Then he fled the room like a spoiled kid. And I was surprised that those were the words that left my lips. This time I didn't mind to get ignored completely.

'Oh,' Sebastian said, 'just look at the Havailand tea set I ordered. It would seem I must retrain him a little.'

I looked at him with one eyebrow pulled up. 'Retrain him? Like a dog?' I asked.

Sebastian just smiled and left the room.

Me and Ciel shared a look before running after him.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Sebastian walked into Soma's room and threw him out of his bed while me and Ciel were just standing in the room, next to the door. Ciel crossed his arms, clearly decided just to watch.

'How rude!' Soma yelled as he fell on the ground.

'Which of us is the rude one?' Sebastian asked and I was surprised by the harshness and coldness of his voice. 'This is England, and the residence of Earl Phantomhive. You have no right to give me any orders here. You're just an ordinary brat.'

I shivered. His words weren't only harsh, they were mean, clearly intend to hurt Soma. And even though I wasn't fully aware of what was going on, I didn't think he deserved it. Sure, he was acting like a spoiled brat, but he _was_ a prince, how else was he supposed to act? I bet he just didn't know any better.

But Sebastian wasn't finished yet. 'You're a helpless child who can't do anything without Agni. And even he, your pillar of strength, has betrayed you.'

Okay, I had enough of this now. 'Hey—'

Ciel stopped me by putting one gloved hand (he was wearing black leather gloves) over my mouth and grabbed my arm with the other one, holding me still. He shook his head and released me, knowing that I understood that I wasn't allowed to interfere.

'You're right,' Soma said, defeated. 'I have nothing now. I've lost everything.'

That was the moment that Sebastian started to laugh. A laugh so dark and devilish that even Ciel shivered. 'Lost? What a tiresome idiot you are. You didn't "lose" anything. You never had anything to begin with.'

Soma's face became pale as he tried to grasp what Sebastian had just said. 'What?'

A smile worse than death appeared on Sebastian's face. He seemed to be enjoying the pain on the prince's face. 'The status you got from your parents. The castle you got from your parents. The servant you got from your parents. You've never owned a single thing in your life. Am I right?'

This was way to cruel. I started to move forward again, but Ciel put an arm in front of me, still holding me back. I wanted to just ignore him again, but then I saw the determined expression on his face. He looked as if he thought Soma needed this. And he also looked like he would stop this when he thought it was time to do so.

'You're wrong…' Soma said, but he did not sound convincing.

'The truth is, some part of you knew about Agni, but you didn't even have the courage to find out on your own.'

Soma tried to flee the room. 'You're wrong!'

The door closed in front om him and Sebastian was the one to blame. I must admit I was relieved that I could not see his face anymore.

'You know I'm not wrong,' Sebastian said, towering over Soma like a king that Soma could never be. 'Posing as the tragic hero now that you've been forced to see reality? You're truly a hopeless brat.'

That was the moment that Soma fell on the ground, as if his legs had given up. 'They all promised they'd stay with me forever…'

'They only said that because that was what you wanted to hear, obviously. They wouldn't serve someone they got nothing from in return. In the slums, even a three-year-old would know that. No one actually loved you.'

Nothing Sebastian said was wrong and I wasn't disagreeing with anything. Still, it felt like a crime to tell this to Soma, who was looking so sad and broken. When was Ciel going to shut him up?

Apparently, now. 'That's enough of that,' Ciel said, crossing his arms again. It was clearly that he didn't feel sorry for Soma and I wasn't sure what had convinced him to stop Sebastian from saying anything else. 'Maybe I would've been the same way, if it hadn't been for that month.'

Soma had noticed that the worst was behind him and stood up while I asked: 'That month?' That was some new information. So I'd been right. This wasn't just about his parents. There was more. A month more. What happened to Ciel in that month? What drove him to such hatred and despair that he would summon a demon?

I was surprised that Ciel actually answered me, but it was clear that he was doing it to teach Soma something. 'My family was killed, my home burned down and I suffered humiliation worse than you'd inflict on a beast.'

I shivered, avoiding Ciel's face. Whatever happened, it was something so dark that I started to doubt if I even _wanted_ to know.

Soma was staring at Ciel now, clearly not fully understanding what his words meant. 'I was helpless,' Ciel said. 'A child. But I came back here, to make the people who did all that to me suffer the same humiliation. If the Phantomhives are a nuisance to those who killed my parents, then if I stay the family head, they'll eventually come after me. I'm waiting for them to come here to kill me.'

I realised I had problems with standing when Sebastian grabbed me to keep me from falling. I wasn't sure why, but his story made me feel like someone had blown out the candle that had kept me alive until that point.

_Oh. It's worse. Worse than I expected. So unclean. So, so unclean._

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. 'Purple,' he said, so soft that I wasn't even sure if I'd heard it right.

'Why would you go that far?' Soma asked Ciel, clearly not understanding anything.

'What good would melancholy and grief do me?' he asked Soma, closing his eye as he spoke. 'Even a dead person can stand still and do nothing. But I'm alive and standing on my own power.' He opened his eye again. 'If I'm going to die someday, I might as well do it without regrets.' He looked at me as he said: 'And on my own terms.' A small, lifeless smile appeared on his face. 'I won't use high-sounding words as "revenge". This is all just to please me. It's a game to see whether I win or they win. Even if I'm plunged to the depths of despair, if there's a spider's thread there that I can crawl up to, I'll take hold of it without giving up. We humans have the strength to do that.'

Soma was completely amazed now, clearly starting to understand what Ciel was trying to tell him. I wasn't thinking about that, though. My mind was too full of a feeling that I could only describe as hate. I hated to monsters in this world, I hated to darkness that had driven Ciel to say such words. Words no ordinary child could think of. But I understood him better now. He wasn't a victim. A victim was weak. No, Ciel was a survivor, holding on to every spider thread he could find. That one of them happened to lead to a demon wasn't something he regretted. He just moved on, knowing that grieving and regretting wouldn't change anything. But the thing I understood most now was that I could never understand him. Because, even after everything I had been through, I was still normal. I hadn't suffered enough to become half the person that he was. And with that I didn't mean a good person. I meant a wise one. The wisdom of an old pessimistic man in the body of a twelve-year-old boy.

'It's up to each person whether they grab the thread or not, though,' Ciel added. Then he sighed and dropped the topic, clearly done talking. 'Enough talk. Sebastian, I need to talk to you about West. Come.'

Sebastian let go of me carefully, making sure that I wouldn't fall over when he let go. I didn't. Because I realised that I too had been acting weak up until this point. Complaining about how heartless Sebastian was and how much I hated it when Ciel didn't take me with him, but now I realised that I wasn't his teammate. I was his pawn, like everyone else was. And I couldn't move if he didn't move me. And although normally I would have fought against it, normally I wouldn't have let anyone use me, but I understood now that that was what kept Ciel alive. He placed his pawns in order to protect himself, the king. Because if the king dies, de game is over. And I really didn't want to just sit here and let that happen. If he had a way to use me for his causes, I would let him. And I wouldn't stand in his way.

After all, it wasn't like I had anywhere else to go.

Sebastian followed Ciel as he left the room and soon after that, Soma ran after them. I just kept standing there, realising that I, too, was a spoiled brat.

Well, shit. How did that happen?

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I wasn't sure when I had fallen asleep, but when I woke up I was in my bed and I had missed all the critical information. Lucky enough for me Sebastian came to my room that morning. And with 'lucky' I meant that I seriously considered to jump out of the window to outrun the guy, not only because of his harshness towards Soma, but also because he'd come to take a look at my burn marks.

'You are going to participate in a cooking program?' I asked Sebastian as I stood in the bathroom. I had locked myself up there to make sure that Sebastian wasn't looking as I unwrapped the bandage.

'It appears so,' Sebastian said.

'And only because this Wets-guy is using Agni to take down his competition… the bastard… ' Then I pulled a face. 'Wait… let me guess… Ciel only wants you to participate so he can win because that will be great publicity for the Funtom Company.' Every word sounded sour.

'That's quite accurate indeed,' Sebastian said. 'Young master has been thinking about expanding the business into foodstuffs for a while now. If he starts by winning the curry show, it's sure to generate buzz…Are you almost done?'

'Yes, yes,' I said. 'Hold on, Sebby, we're not all as fast as you are.' I cursed. How the hell did Sebastian put this bandage on me? This felt like duct tape. 'Do you even know how to make curry?' I mumbled. 'I bet Agni does. And although I think your food is delicious, I doubt you can defeat him and… wait… the curry show? As in the curry show held next week?'

'Yes, my Lady,' Sebastian answered.

'Oh my god!' I screamed. 'I heard the Queen will be there? She will, won't she? I've read somewhere that she loves curry!'

'Young master does think it's just a rumor,' Sebastian told me. 'Are you done?'

'Yes, yes, yes,' I said as the bandage fell on the ground. Then I looked into the mirror in the bathroom and saw… nothing.

A knock on the door. 'Miss Lane?' Sebastian said.

'Sebastian,' I said, staring at myself in the mirror as I looked into two familiar eyes. 'If I were an angel, would I get burn marks like that?'

It took Sebastian a while to answer. 'Well, angels can surely get injured. The injuries would just heal a lot quicker. Why the sudden interest?'

I just stared at my reflection, trying to understand what was going on with me. Was I slowly turning into a doll, did Drossel do that to me without me noticing? I highly doubted that, but what if?

Another knock on the door. 'Miss Lane?'

'They're gone,' I told him, checking if the burn mark in my neck was still there. If unfortunately was. 'The burn wounds they… they have vanished.'

'Vanished?' Sebastian repeated.

I suddenly got scared that he would break in, so I said. 'Yeah, but maybe they just weren't that bad. I mean, it _was_ just tea, you know.'

'That's true,' was his reaction. 'But I'd still like to take a look.'

I sighed and put in a T-Shirt that releaved my neck so that he could see that the burn marks there were gone. And now only hope that he didn't want to 'take a look' at the rest of th burn wounds.

I walked out of the bathroom in my T-Shirt and jeans and saw that Sebastian had a strange sort of smile on his face. A smile that I didn't trust at all. 'Why are you smiling like that?' I asked him.

He shook his head. 'I'm not smiling, my Lady.' He reached with his hand and touched my neck. 'You were right,' he said. 'They have completely vanished.' But the look on his face told me that he wasn't thinking about the burn wounds.

I took a step back. 'Why, Sebastian, thank you for telling me something that I knew already. And if you'll excuse me; I have homework to do.' Not a very convincing lie, but it was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

Sebastian smiled an amused smile, clearly not believing me. 'Of course, miss,' he said, leaving the room without a sound of a trace.

I sighed. _If only I could read minds. That would make my whole life so much easier. _

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Me and Soma were standing in front of a gigantic table filled with endless pans with curry, all looking different.

'Did… did you make all these yourself?' Soma asked, completely blown away by the incredible amount.

'Yes,' Sebastian answered smiling, as if it was nothing. 'You're the only one who knows Agni's curry. And since your taste might be different from the British judges tastes, I need a British person as well, that's why miss Lane is here. I'd like your help to make more divine curry than any curry in this world, as soon as possible.'

Soma didn't seem to like the idea at first, but gathered to strength to say: 'A-All right. If me eating curry will be useful, I'll eat as much as you please!'

Sebastian looked at me now, waiting for my approval. Knowing that Ciel wouldn't agree to participate, I nodded, believing I made the wrong choice the moment I made it. But at least I helped Ciel out with his promotion stunt.

A smile that almost looked like it was just for me appeared on Sebastian's face and I had to tell myself that that was just one of Sebastian's seducing-tricks. 'Thank you,' he said, but then I realised why I had felt like this was a bad idea. Oh, god. How could I forget? This wasn't going to be fun. This was going to be a nightmare.

I didn't like curry.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**Chapter 30 has ended! So today's word: cat. So in Dutch you usually say 'kat', but if it's male then you can also say 'kater'. If it's a female then the correct word is 'poes'. And I believe cat in Japanese is neko, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: Heh heh, thank you :)**

**promocat: Aww, thank yo uso much!**

**Aizawa Maiko: Thank you, I'll remember that! :)**

**wolf-akuma: Well, soon wasn't really soon, so sorry about that. But thanks! :D**

**Guest: Ah, that sounds interesting!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 everyone! Yay! And sorry for the typos, hate me if you want to.**

**I still don't own Kuroshitsuji (duh), but I do own my OC.**

**Enjoy chapter 31!**

**XxX**

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><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

'Can you please just stop laughing?!' Ciel asked frustrated.

'I'm… s-sorry… C-Ciel!' I said laughing. 'But you look absolutely ridiculous! What, are you joining the Circus?'

Ciel was wearing some sort of strange uniform that looked like he was auditioning for a movie about warrior fairies. He was blushing now, but I wasn't sure if it was anger of embarrassment. Maybe both.

We were on our way to the studio were the curry show was filmed. It was all going to be live, but now Sebastian had four hours to take a look at his workplace and prepare himself. The program would be live on television, but I really hoped that Ciel would change his outfit before that happened, because I really did not want to sit next to someone dressed like that. That would draw attention and that meant that the camera's would often point his way. And if there was one thing I didn't want to attract, it was attention.

When we arrived at the studio I saw how big it was. It was gigantic. Not only the studio itself, but also the area the curry show was going to be held. There was a very bug space for audience and four kitchens. I guessed this meant that there were four participants.

_All the others got killed by Agni, of course._

'Sebastian,' Ciel then said as we walked through the studio after talking to the producer about the show. 'Look after Clarissa. Me and Soma will investigate the other parts of the studio.' I wasn't sure what he meant by that. It didn't seem like Ciel was prioritizing Agni anymore

Sebastian nodded. 'Yes, my Lord.'

'You know,' I said, 'I'm not a dog. I can take care of myself.'

Ciel made a disdainful sound. 'No, you cannot.' Then he turned around and Soma followed him, but saying goodbye since he was terrified of Sebastian since yesterday.

I sighed.

Sebastian turned to me. 'Well, let's see the cooking area they've created for us.'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Us? Are you saying that you need help?' I asked.

'No,' was his answer, though it did not sound convincing at all.

We walked to the place where the 'Funtom-team was supposed to be. And then I realised something. This was a modern day cooking show.

With modern day cooking utensils.

'Well, shit,' I said soft so that the staff members couldn't hear me, but Sebastian could. 'You're screwed, buddy.'

'Not entirely,' he said, turning to me.

It took a while for me to realise what he meant. 'Oh no, I'm not going to help you in any way. There are rumours enough about me _without_ me being in a cooking program. So you can say goodbye to that idea, Sebastian. Never going to happen.'

Then he leaned forward, ignoring the crew as he pressed his lips against my ear. 'Please?' he said, his voice sweeter than chocolate.

I pulled up an eyebrow, surprisingly enough not affected by his presence. 'Stay back, Seb. I'm not going to try to remove you, because we both know that that won't work, but this kind of trick won't work on me.' _Not anymore._

He pulled back. 'How unfortunate,' was his reaction, his eyes narrowed.

I sighed. 'Fine, I'll help you. But only because I want to help Ciel. Not because I want to help you.' I gave him a disgusted look. 'I'd rather go on a date with the devil than help you.'

'Ah, how ironic,' he said, a content and somewhat amused smile on his lips.

Argh! He was way too cute! If I didn't keep myself in check, I would kiss those perfect lips of his again. And that was a mistake that I didn't want to repeat again.

Then a familiar face walked up to us. 'Clarissa. Sebastian,' Agni said, looking surprisingly sad.

XxX

* * *

><p>'Mina promised me that she'd act like her old self in front of the prince if I obeyed West's orders.' Agni put the bandaged hand to his face. 'If my innocent prince found out how Mina really feels…' He looked desperate, not knowing what he should do.<p>

I wasn't sure how to react. I was happy that I finally understood what the heck was going on, but it really felt like this was none of my business.

'So that's what this was about,' Sebastian said, not really saying it for any reason other than to say something.

Agni pulled his hand away from his face and looked at us with a face full of fighting-spirit. 'That's why I can't lose!'

I again didn't know how to react. But, again, I didn't have to. Sebastian chuckled. 'What a coincidence. I feel the same way.'

Then I noticed another participant looking at us with a look of jealousy. Oh, boy. These people really did take their curry seriously.

'Now then,' Sebastian then said, ripping my eyes away from the participant. 'I think now is the best time to explain to me how to use these modern day cooking utensils.'

Agni opened his mouth, clearly wanting to say something, but then closed his mouth and walked away. I bet he knew that going against Sebastian with words wasn't going to do much. He was ordered to do something, so he will do it. Demons were straightforward like that.

'Oh, great idea!' I said. 'Then I don't have to be on television during the curry show itself! And maybe I even have time to call Elizabeth for a more decent outfit for Ciel.'

Sebastian rolled his eyes. 'Oh, please. Young master looks absolutely fine. Maybe he's not dressed properly for this time period, but he certainly looks proper to me.'

Now _I _was to one to roll my eyes. 'You're a demon, remember? I don't think you have a good understanding of what 'proper' means.'

The smile on his face was so fake that I felt like punching it. 'Well, I believe I do, miss Lane.'

I shook my head as I grabbed the mixer from the counter. 'Do you know what this is?' I asked him, ignoring his last statement.

'A mixer,' he immediately answered. He was intelligent enough to guess that, of course.

'That's right,' I said. 'So you have to plug it in and you push this button and then it will go on and you can mix stuff! Isn't that gre-' I stopped mid-sentence when I saw how close Sebastian was suddenly standing to me.

'Which button?' he asked.

I had to get myself together before I could look away from his face and answer. 'This button, you see?'

He stood behind me now and his arms were around me as he grabbed the mixer, covering my hands with his own. 'This one?' he asked.

I knew he was just teasing me now. 'Yes,' I said, hating how breathless I sounded.

'Hmm,' Sebastian said softly, tightening his arms around me. 'I rather like this position. You should help me cook more often.'

'No way in hell I'm going to do that,' I told him, still a bit breathless. I had to focus on my words more than usual to make sure I wasn't stuttering.

I felt Sebastian's breath in my ear as he said: 'Ah, the irony.' Then he leant closer to me. Now I could feel his breath against my cheek.

'What are you doing?' I asked. 'We are in a public place!' I looked around me, suddenly way too aware of all the crew that was there, clearly trying to ignore us while also clearly failing to do so.

'So you would be okay with this kind of position if we weren't in a public place?' Sebastian asked, one gloved finger stroking my hand very softly.

I was too scared to move an inch, too scared what my body would do if I did. 'I didn't say that—'

Finally he pressed his lips against my cheek. 'Paparazzi,' he said and as he said that I looked directly into the lens of a camera. The one holding it was a woman who looked way too happy with the picture she took.

I pulled away from Sebastian, but it was already too late.

The woman got herself a picture.

XxX

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><p>Sebastian should be thankful that I wasn't standing next to him when the curry show started, because I would have messed with his curry just to annoy him as much as he'd annoyed me. I probably would be on the cover of some gossip magazine tomorrow. Argh!<p>

'What got you all grumpy and cranky?' asked Ciel as the host of the show walked up to the main stage.

'Nothing,' I said, trying to sound not all that grumpy.

'Thank you for waiting, everyone!' The host then said. I hadn't noticed that they'd started filming, but there was no turning back now. 'It's time for the Curry Festival, The Best of London Curry!'

'Look, it's him again,' Lau said, pointing at someone on the main stage. That cat-girl was sitting on his lap again, annoying everyone who was sitting behind us. As I followed his finger my eyes fell on Aleister.

Oh gosh. As if this day couldn't get any worse.

'Attention seeker,' Ciel muttered, making this awful situation only a little bit better,

Then I frowned. 'Where's Soma?' I asked.

Ciel shrugged. 'He met someone a while ago and it seems that meeting didn't bring him much pleasance. I bet he also doesn't want to see his servant Agni participate in a contest _against_ him.'

'And now,' the host said, 'let the cooking be—'

There was sudden music through the studio as everyone looked around, except me. I looked at the host and it was clear that he'd known about this. They just pretend like it was a surprise.

Then a woman dressed in black, her face hidden away, walked up to the main stage, accompanied by a very familiar face.

'Her majesty!' Ciel said while I said: 'Ash?'

The host opened his mouth again. 'Ladies and gentlemen! Her Majesty Queen Victoria, mother of England, has favoured us with her honoured presence!'

Everyone in the audience started to speak. 'I can't believe she really came!' 'Her Majesty!' 'She seems to have lost quite a bit of weight…'

That was all nice and fine, but the only things I could think of was A, Ash was here and I had no idea why, also, he was accompanying the Queen! And B, even though her face was covered so I couldn't really tell, the Queen certainly did not look like a middle-aged lady. She looked like a twelve-year-old kid.

And then Aleister came to seek attention again as he stood up and started to sing _God save the Queen_. He was soon joined by everyone else in the room, except me, Lau and that girl on his lap. Lau and that girl probably didn't sing it because, in fact, she wasn't their Queen. And I didn't sing because I honestly didn't know the words. Then I noticed that Sebastian wasn't singing as well, but he was staring at Ash with a glare. I couldn't tell which emotion was on his face, but he looked pretty intense.

'_God save our gracious Queen, long live our noble Queen. God save the Queen! Send her victorious, happy and glorious, long to reign over us. God save the Queen!_'

As the song wrapped the Queen stood in front of a very fancy chair next to the other judges and I realised now that she was wearing all black because her husband passed away. Was that why she was hiding her face?

Ash leant towards the Queen, clearly listening to something she said. Then he straightened himself and spoke to the audience, but he looked at me as he spoke. 'Her Majesty wants me to tell you: "I apologize for my inability to appear before you for so long. However, I am now in such perfect health that I may even enjoy curry again. My late husband Albert was very fond of curry as well. I look forward to examining the fruits of your labours."'

As the audience cheered I rolled my eyes. I never liked the whole hype around the Queen. I just felt like she didn't really do much.

'And with that,' the host said, '_allez cuisine_!'

_Allez _what? Was that French? That didn't sound right. Oh, well. It wasn't like I knew how to speak French, so I really wasn't the one to judge.

All the participants went to their own cooking area as I saw that Agni was unwrapping his bandage. Was Samadhi really useful while cooking? It sounded a bit questionable to me, but hey, I lived with a demon, a kid with a contract with said demon and three idiots who couldn't do anything, so I was ready to believe anything.

It was almost funny to see how quick Sebastian and Agni moved in contrast to the others. Sebastian wasn't moving too fast, so it didn't seem supernatural, but it did looked really, really impressive.

I was actually still wondering if he managed to find the perfect curry. I had given up before all the curry's were tasted (there was only so much curry as I could take), but I guessed he did seeing as he looked completely sure of himself.

And of course you could hear the girls squeak as Sebastian took of his tailcoat and pulled up his sleeves. He was still wearing his gloves though. It felt kind of cool that I knew why.

The audience was giving loud commentary while all of this happened, but they stopped talking for a while when they saw what Sebastian's final ingredient was.

Chocolate.

The silence only took a while. Then everyone was talking about how absurd it was to put chocolate in curry. But then I looked at Agni and the look on his face told me that that wasn't true. He looked… defeated.

Then, for the first time since the show started, one of the participants spoke.

'Where did an Englishman like you get such an idea?' Agni asked Sebastian, who had the cooking area next to him. Everyone was silent now, curious what the butler would answer.

The answer he gave shouldn't have surprised me. But it certainly shouldn't have surprised Ciel. But his answer surprised us both. 'My master ordered me to do it. I carry out my master's orders, no matter how unreasonable they may be. You see, I am merely one hell of a butler.'

I looked at Ciel with my eyebrows pulled up, but didn't say anything. Lau, on the other hand, did. 'It's all in the phrasing, eh?' he said, petting the girl's hair.

'Was that supposed to be sarcasm?' Ciel asked annoyed, but he looked at Sebastian with a small, almost invisible smile on his face. The smile Sebastian gave him was almost blinding.

Then Agni pulled out a strange ingredient as well.

A blue lobster.

You could hear all the food specialists talk about the rarity of such an ingredient, but I really could care less. Because I just noticed that Ash was staring at me. Great, for how long had he been staring?

I kept staring back at him, but he didn't look away. He just kept staring with that strange smile on his lips.

I was the first to look away, but only because the host said that it was time of the judgement. The first few weren't really that interesting, but when it was Agni's turn I got interested. The reaction he got from all three of the judges seemed impossible to outdo. Sebastian could never win.

The host seemed to think so too. 'Such high praise! Is victory assured?! Or can our final contestant garner even higher praise?!'

Sebastian gave the judges a plate and then I saw that there wasn't any curry on the plates.

There were buns.

Buns?!

Everyone in the audience looked confused. Everyone was sure that he had been making curry. So… where did it go?

One of the judges stood up. 'What are you playing at?' he asked Sebastian, clearly feeling insulted. 'I see no curry!'

'Wait!' Aleister said. 'It's…' He cut the bun in half. 'There's curry on the inside.'

That surprised everyone except Ciel, which wasn't much of a surprise to me. He knew that his butler wouldn't let him down. 'This is the curry Funtom is proud to present,' Sebastian said. 'We call it the curry bun!'

Then the judges tasted it and their doubts faded. Praises were given by every single one of them, but I couldn't tell whether they were higher praises or not.

'We'll now leave the judges time to deliberate!' the host said. 'In the meantime, feel free to try any curry you like! We'll be back after a short break!' And then the camera's stopped filming and the audience started to move towards the table that was set up, where different paper plates with different curry's were standing.

Ciel, Lau and cat-girl didn't move, though. 'I noticed Her Majesty didn't eat. She's not going to examine the recipes?' Lau asked.

'I imagine she avoided it to spare her health,' Ciel said.

I shook my head. 'I bet she will give her opinion after the break, to keep everyone watching at home.'

Ciel looked at me annoyed. 'I wasn't finished yet,' he told me mean-spirited. 'Anyway, it's possible she'll sample the ones she finds interesting. And that would change the judges' impressions. It's up to the Queen who wins, in the end.'

We all looked at the Queen in the big chair, Ash still standing by her side and the way he stood made me think of Sebastian. Was he her butler? I really hoped he wasn't a demon as well. Where would England be if the Queen made a contract with a demon?

Ciel frowned and stood up, but it was clear that he wasn't going for the curry. 'Back in a minute,' he said and after that he just walked off.

I thought about following him for a while, but then I saw that Ash was speaking to Sebastian and I focused on that. And then I watched as Sebastian brought a curry bun to the Queen and heard the audience react to the scene. Shame Ciel just walked off, he missed the Queen tasting his curry.

But then he appeared besides me, as if he'd never left. 'Is she…?'

Ash leaned forward to the Queen again, only to straighten himself moments later. He rose is voice now, so that everyone could hear what he was saying. 'Her Majesty asks me to tell you: "You were considerate enough to make this easy for even a child to eat, requiring no knife or fork. Treating all equally, rich and poor, adult and child, it embodies the ideal I strive for: a kind and noble country". Her Majesty is deeply moved by your kind attitude is treasuring our children… our future.'

Kind? Did Ash just seriously call Sebastian kind? That wasn't kind. That was math. That was knowing humans well enough to tell what the thing is that would win them over.

'Don't make me laugh!' someone in the audience yelled and at first I thought it was someone agreeing with me, but then I saw an Indian looking lady and I realised that this was the Mina Soma had been searching for. She was standing close to the stage, her hands on the table with the curry. 'How you flatter yourselves! Equality? The future? The queen of a wealthy country like this who'd never done any hard work has no place saying that!'

I frowned. She didn't look… normal. She looked like a demon. More demon than Sebastian looked. Wait… were her eyes glowing? What the hell was going on?

She smashed the curry on the ground and a tall man, who I thought was mister West, grabbed her from behind, trying to stop her. 'Mina, stop! You're in front of Her Majesty!' Then she pushed him and the strength that came with that blow proved my statement. There was something wrong. 'Out of my way!' she yelled, her eyes glowing red.

More people became like her, like they were swimming in a dark aura and their eyes were glowing that reddish colour.

And they all turned to Ciel. 'I smell it!' they screamed. 'The stench of the impure! Snuff out the unclean!'

Ah, yes. There was something very, very wrong here.

XxX

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><p><strong>End of chapter 31! Same as always: weekend's offer, update on Friday probably. Today's word is 'butterfly'. In Dutch 'butterfly' is 'vlinder'. I personally love that word. If pronounced right, it sounds so elegant. And in Japanese, it's chouchou, so that's a nice little fact for you right there.<strong>

**justaislinn: thanks, I'll try! And I actually have Spanish lessons, but I forgot that! Ha ha, I guess I suck at Spanish. Well, yeah, I do suck, my grades prove it.**

**Sliver Moon Fairie**: **I had guessed it was you, ha ha. And yeah, I kind of like creepy Sebastian too**, **but he does give me shivers sometimes!**

**promocat: Yeah, I think Clarissa was just too stubborn to admit it to herself. And I also think that she will keep being stubborn for the sake of it, so Ciel really has to have a lot of patience when it comes to her.**

**Aizawa Maiko: Ha ha, yeah, nothing's flawless.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone, chapter 32 is here! I'm sorry I didn't update in a while and I probably won't update tomorrow: I'm at my grandma's house at the moment so yeah.**

**And WOW, 80 followers? Almost a hundred (bit too optimistic, but that's kind off my thing)! I'm thinking of doing something really special when I reach a hundred, but I'm not sure what to do. Probably update everyone day for a week of something.**

**Anyway, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but my OC is all mine.**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 32**

Of course Sebastian was quickly at our side to defend his master, ignoring me in the process.

_Of course, _I thought to myself, _I forgot that he wanted me killed._

'Snuff out the unclean!' the people screamed, but they didn't attack me, which was surprising. Almost as if I wasn't a treat to them.

'The Queen!' Ciel said to Sebastian. 'We need to protect the Queen!'

I rolled my eyes. 'Does the Queen looks like she is in danger, Ciel? It's clearly you they're after!'

I noticed that some people started to run away, clearly everyone who wasn't influenced by… yeah, what was it, actually?

I wasn't sure how it was going to prove anything, but I reached towards one of the man men with my hand. The moment I touched the man, he grabbed me and his eyes seem to change back to normal. 'Wha—what just happened?' he asked me.

I had to be honest and tell him that I had absolutely no idea.

Wait… Did _I _just do that?

Everyone was fighting or defending themselves now. I just stood there and I didn't notice that Sebastian, Ciel _and _Ash were staring at me until I looked away from the scene. 'What?' I asked Sebastian and Ciel, clearly annoyed. 'We don't have time to stop and stare; we need to find a solution to this!'

'But—it seems as though we've already found it,' Ciel said, grabbing my hand, making me blush, which I hated to admit.

He pulled out my hand and pressed it against someone we was attacking him, making that person stop immediately, turning back to normal the moment he looked at me. 'What's going on?' he asked confused.

_Purification, my dear, _a clear woman voice said in my head, _only you have what it takes to purify this sick souls. It's a poison only you have the antidote to._

And I decided to listen to this voice for once, grabbing everyone I could without getting hurt, but that was easy, seeing how none of the people seemed to make a move towards me. I saw that Sebastian had gone up to defend the Queen from possibly crazy people, but I was too far away now to go there. I also thought that it was pointless to only protect the Queen while she was being protected good enough. No one was protecting the people that seemed so unnecessary.

And then, me and Ash shared a look and I saw a challenge in his eyes. Almost as if he was asking me to surprise him and the Queen. Then I looked at Sebastian, who was also looking at me while fighting the Indian girl from earlier. He opened his mouth in a way that I recognized. It looked like he was singing.

I gave him a look back. _What do you suggest? That I start singing? You seriously think that will help?_

He nodded. _Indeed, I do._

I sighed, gave in. He knew what he was doing most of the time, so trusting him in this situation didn't seem too dangerous. _What do you suggest? Taylor Swift?_

A vague smile appeared on his face. _I never get involved in modern-day pop music._

I sighed again and stared at Ash, who was staring at me now with a look that I started to understand better now. It looked like a father who was disappointed in his daughter.

I opened my mouth and sung the first thing I could think of. I just sang '_ah_' in a melody I had never heard before. It didn't even sound like a song. It sounded like a strange movie soundtrack. It sounded too fake.

Sebastian was right, of course, it did indeed work. The moment I opened my mouth and sang was also the moment people froze and started to look normal again. I felt like I was glowing, like I was the sun in this dark scene right now and I felt somewhat proud. Ha! And Ciel said that I was useless! Look at me, saving the Queen!

But then I looked at Ash and the look he gave me made me believe that I hadn't won the game. He looked at me like he was the winner.

And I was the loser that he won from.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

The Funtom Company won, but I'm wasn't sure whether it was just the judges or the Queen's opinion as well. Before she left, Her Majesty asked me if I would have a conversation with her, which I had to say 'yes' to of course. She didn't touch me and didn't even really have a conversation which me. She just looked at me and told Ash to tell me that I was a beautiful little soul who she would love to see again sometime.

Before I left, Ash said something else. 'I congratulate you with your great accomplishments today, ' he told me, sounding strangely not-nice about it. 'And I have a advise for you. Pay close attention to your heart, Clarissa,' he then said. 'It might be gone before you even know it.' What he meant by that was a question that I couldn't ask, because he and the Queen had to leave before anything could happen. The only thing he did before closing the door, was giving me a letter for Ciel.

Great. Now I was the mailman. Just fantastic. That's all the thanks I get, I guess.

When I re-joined the group, I saw that Soma and Agni clearly had made up, which warmed my heart a little bit. I didn't have any – or if I counted Ciel as one, than 'much' – friends, but seeing such a friendship survive was truly heart-warming to see.

Soma was just talking to Ciel. 'Thank you,' he said as I reached the group. 'If I had never met you, I'd still be an ignorant, selfish brat. Starting today, I'll learn many things and tour all England—no, all the world, until I become a man second to nobody!' He sounded all serious again.

A small smile appeared on his face. He truly seemed to have learned something from Ciel. It was great to know that a wise kid such as Ciel could help other people see the light. Even though I was sure he would never admit it.

I saw that Agni and Sebastian were talking, but I couldn't hear their conversation.

But after a while, the group stood closer to them and we were able to hear what they were saying.

'Nationality is irrelevant,' Sebastian told Agni and I wished I knew the context. 'All places, all times, are essentially the same. And so is human nature.'

_All times are the same? _I thought. _Says the guy who didn't know how to use modern cooking utensils until hours ago! _But even though I thought that, I somewhat knew what he meant.

Agni seemed to do so too. 'Yes. Just as the evening sun over the Ganges River and the evening sun over the Thames are equally beautiful.'

Then Soma seemed to tear up a little bit, resulting in him grabbing both me and Ciel and bearing his face into Ciel's shoulder while crying. 'Mina!' he cried. 'Mina! Mina!'

Sad and broken or not, Ciel still did not want anyone to touch him. 'Let me go!' he said annoyed, sounding a bit angry, but not the usual level of anger.

Soma was crying way too hard to hear Ciel and the obviously didn't _want _to listen, but I didn't mind as much. Being hugged like this, I somehow felt… needed. And that was something That I didn't feel often.

I looked at Agni again, saw how he vaguely smiled. 'I'm very glad we came to England,' he told Sebastian and I was surprised that I could still hear what he was saying even though Soma was still crying in my ear. 'My prince and I both met ideal friends.'

'Friends?' Sebastian asked surprised. I couldn't tell if he was happy to hear that or not. I wish Sebastian was such an open book as Ciel was when it came to little things like this, but he wasn't. Sebastian always remained a mystery to me.

Ciel started to push Soma away now, trying, but Soma was ignoring that all together, letting me go in the process of not letting go of Ciel.

Just as I wanted to laugh I heard Sebastian say: 'You're the first person to ever say something like that to me.' And in that moment, he truly sounded old. And I realised that, if he were anything other than a demon, those words would have been very sad. I also realised that it was the same for me. But for me the fact remained that no one ever said it to me.

Ciel finally managed to push Soma away completely and that was when I realised that I had a letter for Ciel. 'Oh, yeah! Ciel,' I said, grabbing the letter out of the pocket of my jeans. 'The Queen asked me to give this to you.' I handed him the letter.

I was surprised that he opened it right on the spot. I thought that letters from the Queen were supposed to be secret. Well, it wasn't like anyone was here now. The parking lot of the studio was completely empty. Everyone had gone home already. Even the police had vanished after they realised that this case was a lost cause.

'Circus tickets?' he said softly. Then he frowned. 'Three. Three circus tickets.'

I wasn't sure why those three tickets bothered him so much, but they surely did.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

_POV change_

'Sebastian,' Ciel said as Clarissa was escorted away, since the Queen asked for her. 'Have you figured her out yet?'

'Well, yes and no,' Sebastian answered. He looked over at Agni and Soma, but those two clearly weren't paying attention to what they were saying. 'I'm quite certain now that her purifying skill is similar, if not better, than any angel's purifying skill. But she clearly is human. She could be some sort of hybrid, but that wouldn't explain the level of purification she did today. It also wouldn't explain the constant eye-colour change.'

'And Ash? He might be a lead in the case. I don't trust the fact that I seem to see him everywhere these days,' Ciel then said, looking at Agni and Soma as he spoke. Those two seemed to like him and his staff just fine now, but he wasn't sure what they would do if they started to suspect anything.

'I rather not investigate Ash Landers too closely if not ordered to, sir,' Sebastian said politely.

Ciel frowned. 'Puh. And why is that?'

A smile that didn't look sincere at all appeared on Sebastian's face. 'As you might have noticed; his eyes are purple. And I've learned to stay out of other people's contracts.'

Then Ciel thought of something that he hadn't thought of before. 'Could it be that Ash is in fact Clarissa's…'

'I managed to test her DNA and no, Ash Landers is not her father. I only found the DNA of her passed away father and mother. Her body is completely human.' He frowned. 'But I'm not sure about her soul, though.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I never thought that arriving at the mansion could ever feel so good. I almost ran towards the house, more tired than I had ever been and feeling more powerful than I had every felt. I wondered if demons felt this powerful all the time.

Of course, the house was locked when I reached the door and I had to wait until Ciel had reached the house, which took ages, certainly as he was using his walking stick again. Which did make me happy. But waiting in the cold for someone to open the door wasn't that much fun.

'Clarissa,' Ciel said as he reached me, Sebastian walking next to him. 'Did Ash or the Queen say anything to significance to you?'

I shook my head. 'No, they just thanked me. Well, Ash did say something about my he-' I stopped, for some reason I didn't want to talk about my heart to either Ciel or Sebastian. And certainly not both.

Ciel opened the door and I walked inside, running towards my room with my coat still on. I could almost I _feel _Sebastian's annoyance and I knew that he would've teased me again one way or the other if I had let him take my coat, so I was happy I escaped.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

Of course, running away from a demon was pretty useless. I was wearing my pyjamas and laying on my bed reading a book I stole from Ciel's library when he came in, looking surprisingly serious.

'Yo, Seb,' I said, trying to pretend like I wasn't influenced by his presence at all. 'What's up?'

He took my words literal, I thought it was to annoy me, but I wasn't quite sure. 'I'm pretty sure the sky is what's up, my Lady,' he answered, walking up to me and standing still next to my bed. I looked at the chair that was standing beside him for a second, confused as of why he did not sit down.

'Funny,' I then said, because I realised that I hadn't reacted to his answer yet. 'You should stop this whole demon-business and go into stand-up comedy.'

Sebastian laughed and finally did sit down on the chair. 'I don't think so,' he told me frankly. 'Some of my humour is a bit dated.'

'_That _old, huh?' I said, remembering that he did not seem to like to talk about his age. He knew more than enough of my weak spots, so I didn't feel guilty for using his.

Sebastian's face become flat, almost angry, but he didn't say anything. He just looked at me. Then his hand went to my face, touching my cheek as if he was scared I would disappear if he pressed too hard. Then Sebastian finally opened his mouth. 'I really should just kill you, you know.'

Those words were clearly to scare me, but they didn't. I'd known for a very long time that Sebastian wanted me dead. 'Well, sucks for you buddy,' I said, 'because your master ordered you to take care of me, didn't he?'

'Yes,' Sebastian admitted. 'But his orders aren't binding, you know. I just obey them because that's what demons stand for. A meal that was required with a false contract never ends well. For the contractor nor for the demon.'

'Oh,' I said, surprisingly not interested. I didn't want to hear dark stories now. I wanted to read this stupid love roman and go to sleep with pictures of handsome men in my head. Everyone,_ anyone, _but Sebastian.

Sebastian's hand was in my hear now, pulling one strand of hair towards his face. He kissed my hair and said: 'I should just kill you. Right now. No mystery to be solved. No questions to be answered. Just the end and the end only.' He narrowed his eyes. 'But with killing you, there might be a chance that I'm also killing a main clue in young master's revenge. And let's just say that that would literally spoil my dinner.'

'Funny,' I said, wishing that he would just release my hair.

Which he did. But only so he could grab my chin and pull my face towards his. 'What _are _you, my Lady?' he asked, but the strange tone of respect in his voice made me feel like it was meant to be a compliment.

'I'm just me,' I answered, my voice barely a whisper. 'I'm Clarissa.'

'Hmm, that's not the answer I wanted to hear,' he said, his eyes glowing in the dark room. The only light came from the small light on the table next to my bed.

'Well, I'm sorry my answer was disappointing,' I said, not meaning it at all.

'No, you're not,' Sebastian reacted almost immediately. 'But quite frankly, my dear, I'm pretty sure you don't give a damn.'

That sounded familiar somehow, but I wasn't sure why. But that wasn't the only thing that bothered me. 'Did you just call me 'dear'?'

'Yes,' he said, still holding my chin. 'I did. Do you have a problem with that?'

Yes, I did, but I was pretty sure that if I told him that he would only love to call me that more, so I just shrugged. 'Not really, no. But it does bother me when you use it like that.'

Sebastian pulled up on eyebrow. Damn, that was sexy! I had remind myself that I wasn't allowed to love this demon. Even if I already did. I should just stop. Now. 'Use it like what?' he asked.

I shook my head, trying to make sense while pretending to not feel my heart beating fast in my chest. 'Like you don't mean it. We both now you would never call me 'my dear' in any sincere way.' My hands shook, wanted to touch him so badly that it hurt.

The smile on Sebastian's face looked way to tempting for its own good. 'Hmm, maybe that's true.' He leaned forward, one hand in my neck, the other on my cheek now. He talked against my cheek as he said: 'But wouldn't you be bothered by it if it _was _sincere?'

I didn't answer. My brain and heart were telling me to turn my head slightly, because that would mean that the lips that were now caressing my cheek would end up on my mouth. And I knew that Sebastian wanted me to do exactly that. He wanted _me _to kiss _him_, making it impossible for me to blame him, even if it was his fault for tempting me. I tried to fight my reflexes, tried to fight my desire. Tried to fight his amazing seducing skills. But I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I turned my head and his lips met mine.

I was surprised how surprised Sebastian felt under my lips, as if this wasn't the outcome he'd predicted. I started to wonder if it was.

But then Sebastian started to kiss me for real, pulling me closer as if he wanted to pull me out of the bed. I was surprised how different this kiss was, almost as if I was a flower which bloomed in his arms, but was also destroyed the moment it bloomed. This demon was full of a long life of mysteries and destruction. And I never thought such a combination would feel like _this._

But then he pushed me off him with a strength that was almost scary. 'No,' he just said. His eyes were glowing hungry now, but it looked different hungry. Not the kind of hungry look he showed Ciel sometimes. 'No.'

I wasn't sure how to look. Or _where _to look. So I just looked at my hands, waiting for him to leave. When I looked up to see if he was still there, I saw that he was already gone.

And I started to wonder if maybe he hadn't been there to begin with.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

**The end! Book of Circus-arc is starting soon! Wooh! I'm exited! I'm not sure if I will do the Book of Muder arc. I'm not sure what I've said before, if I've even said anything about it, but I do like the murder arc and wish I could do it, but if it doesn't fit into the story than it doesn't fit. So yeah.**

**Okay, today's word is: 'strawberry' (I couldn't think of anything else :s). In Dutch it's 'aardbei' and in Japanese, it's 'ichigo' (bet you all knew that already, but still).**

**Sliver Moon Fairie: ha ha, thanks! And yeah, I guess that's true.**

**PyrroLou: Hallo, landgenoot! (okay, it's awkward writing in Dutch while you write in English…) But anyway, thanks! I didn't want Clarissa to be just a witness, I wanted her to be her own thing in the story. And the tv show was a modern-day change that was pretty easy to come up with, ha ha!**

**Aizawa Maiko: Thank you! I always look forward to writing the next chapter as well! (that sounds like bad English but yeah)**

**promocat: Thanks! Love writing it as well XD More of that will be in the story from now on, but not much in this chapter :/**

**Thanks for reading/reviewing and hope to see you next time!**

**(well, not actually ****_see _****you, but you know what I mean)**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey, everyone! So, I found some time to write today! Yay!**

**And I bought three books today. Now I'm broke. Again. And sorry for the typos. Again. And sorry for the fact that this chapter is a bit short.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy chapter 33!**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji, but I do own my OC.**

* * *

><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 33**

I was happy that I didn't dream that night. I was happy that I somehow managed to keep myself from thinking. But in the morning, my brain started to work again.

Tomorrow me, Sebastian and Ciel would go to a traveling circus to investigate, since there had been mysterious child disappearing in all the cities the circus had visited. Ciel said that we would visit the Undertaker first, but he also said that he didn't feel like taking action today, most certainly because the circus hadn't arrived yet.

I was just making homework when I realised that Christmas-season was already over. How did that happen? I was losing the idea of time. I wasn't even sure if school had already started or not. It didn't seem to be important anymore. I wasn't even sure who was paying for my school now.

Sebastian didn't ignore me more than usual and he didn't act any different. I had to be honest and say that that did bother me, mostly because I was not acting normally. I was acting like a fool, mumbling and stuttering while dropping everything in my hands when I saw or talk to him.

I wasn't sure what that kiss that meant, nor whose fault it had been (and yes, it had definitely been a _fault_), but I knew now that Sebastian wasn't planning on killing me. Yet. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved or not, though.

'Clarissa?' Mei-Rin said when she came into my room to bring me my lunch. 'Something's bothering you, yes?'

I smiled vaguely and shook my head. 'No, it's nothing, Mei-Rin,' I answered. 'But thanks for asking. It's always nice to find out that someone actually cares.'

'Y-young master cares, too, yes!' she said, clearly believing that.

I did not, though. 'Well, if you say so,' I said, clearly not convinced. Talking with Mei-Rin always seemed pointless. And Finnian and Baldroy weren't bugging me enough, so I hadn't had many conversations with them either. But I did like the three. Not because they were awful at their jobs or because they were always cheerful, but because they had such a strong believe and trust in their master.

Then my eye fell on a magazine that Mei-Rin had brought in with my lunch. 'What's this?' I asked her, frowning.

'Y-young master asked me to bring this to your room,' she said, playing nervously with her hands. 'A-and if that's everything, I will leave for now, yes!' She ran out of the room, clearly avoiding my reaction to whatever the magazine was going to reveal.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

I was now actually thankful for the whole evil curry incident, because the magazine didn't have the picture that was taken of me and Sebastian in it. But there was an article about me.

_Ciel Phantomhive's new addition to the Funtom Family? Clarissa Lane calms angry crowd down with her voice._

I almost laugh. Of course that was what it looked like for the normal people. Of course they thought I just calmed those 'angry' people down with my voice. Even I wasn't sure what had happened, but I was pretty sure that that wasn't it.

'It wasn't a trap for Ciel, you know,' the demon said, standing in front of my desk all of the sudden.

I almost screamed, but I managed to control myself. 'What are you doing here?' I asked, sounding only a bit angry. Really not impressive.

Sebastian ignored me. 'You said yesterday that those people had been a trap for Ciel, but I'm pretty sure that it was a test.' He looked at me with burning red eyes. 'A test for _you_.'

I laughed, not even sure why I was laughing. 'Are you serious? No one is interested in me—'

'Ash is interested in you,' Sebastian interrupted. 'So much that it almost frightens me. And _nothing _frightens me.'

I pulled up an eyebrow. 'Nothing?' I repeated, not believing him. 'Everyone is scared of something, Sebastian. You are old and wise enough to at least know _that_.'

'I'm also wise enough to know that the only fear is fear itself.' A small smile appeared on his face. 'And I'm feared by too many to find fear something scary.'

'There you go again, with your wise words that only sound wise until you start to think about what you actually said. I _know _you're afraid of something, Sebastian. Everyone is scared of something. Even fear itself most fear the moment no one fears him anymore. Even demons have to be scared of the light sometimes. So, what is your fear?'

Now Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow. 'Did you really think it was that easy to make me talk? I won't tell you my weak spots, Clarissa. Even though I don't think you're a danger to me now, I like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I'd have to kill you and that would be a shame.' He put his hands on my desk and leaned forward, breathing his marvellous breath into my face. 'Seeing as though death would ruin that pretty blush on your face.'

I clenched my hands into fists, but didn't look away. I just sat there, waiting for him to move away from me. Which he didn't. Well, I wasn't going to move either. I would show him that I wasn't influenced by his presence at all. I would show him that _I _had the upper hand here. 'Oh? And I thought you liked to see death. Isn't that kind of a demon-thing? Hugging corpses and all that?'

Sebastian laughed, and again his breath stroke down on my face, making me want to close my eyes and breath his scent in deeply. Why was everything about this demon attractive? He really was a seducer, there was no escape. 'I'm not sure what you've heard about demons, but I'm pretty sure it's wrong.'

Still fighting the urge to breathe in his scent like some strange fangirl-dog, I said: 'Maybe it is. But what're you going to do about that?'

'Hmm,' he said softly, leaning closer to me. Our foreheads were almost touching now and I realised that he was in control; powering over me like a tiger while I was the little monkey who tried to escape.

Okay, did I just call myself a monkey?

'You smell nice,' he said and I wasn't sure if he was teasing me or not. I doubted that Sebastian would ever compliment me seriously, but he did sound sincere.

And those words made me finally close my eyes. Not only because of his scent and sweet words, but also because his face was so beautiful that it hurt. 'You do, too.'

'Clarissa,' he said softly, tempting me to open my eyes again, but I just kept them close, not wanting to look him into the eye. 'I'm hungry.'

This made me frown and I had to keep myself from opening my eyes. 'Hungry? Than feed off of someone. It's not like you cannot.' Well, he couldn't feed off of me. Which was a big, _big, _plus right now. Whatever I was feeling right now was something_ I_ didn't even want to know.

I felt that one hand pushed my hair away from my neck and I felt his breath move from my eyes to my forehead as he spoke. 'Demons lie, Clarissa. It's not a sin for a sinful creature such as me. I'm quite honest about the fact that I will lie when it suits me. I will not lie to my master, but I will lie to every stupid mortal idiot that is trying to 'save' my dinner.'

'So you don't feed off of people's emotions?' I asked, confused now.

He laughed in my ear. 'Never said that I didn't.' Than he pulled away, standing straight again. 'And I was right.'

I frowned. 'Right about what?'

A small smile appeared on his face. 'You do like me quite a bit.'

My eyebrows rose and I almost laughed at him. Then I realised that he was, of course, right. But that didn't mean that I wasn't going to deny it. 'What on earth gave you that ludicrous idea?' I asked him.

'You're pulse elevated,' he told me. 'And I've learned that a human's body gets a different smell whenever they're attracted to someone. A smell that humans can't detect, of course.' The smile on his face was so innocent that I wish I could just disappear. 'It's a smell I'm quite familiar with, though.'

I blushed and looked away, angry. 'And why did you want to know?' I asked him, suddenly so angry that I wished I was strong enough to hurt him. But I knew I wasn't. 'What could you get out of such knowlegde?'

Sebastian waited a while before he answered. 'Because as long as you even feel slightly attracted towards me, I have to upper hand,' he said, turning around, clearly planning to leave the room in human speed. 'Because there's no way I'll ever fall in love with a mere human.' And then he was gone.

I considered throwing my lunch on the ground out of anger, but I was quite hungry and was almost quite certain that either I or Mei-Rin had to clean it up, so I just began to eat.

Damn that damn demon and his seductive skills.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'It's very convenient that Sir Arthur is out,' Ciel said as he observed me and Sebastian.

Abberline didn't agree with that statement. 'Please, stop!' he said nervously yet determined. 'If the Commissioner finds out—'

'Just make sure he doesn't, then,' Ciel reacted before Abberline could even finish.

I wasn't entirely sure why Ciel had taken me with him to Scotland Yard, but it was clear that I was needed. Sebastian didn't even know how the computer database worked. So if I hadn't come along looking for the documents about the missing children would have been difficult. Though I had to admit that I would've worked faster if Sebastian hadn't stand so close behind me. Seriously, did he _have_ to be this close?

'Listen to me!' Abberline said. He had tried to pull me away from the computer, but Sebastian had kept him away. The moment he realised actions weren't going to work, he had started using words. And he had been talkiong ever since. That didn't help either. 'This is the third floor! How did you get in here?!'

I cracked a smile and gave the open window in the room a quick glance. Abberline really was stupid when it came to stuff like this.

'Well, Clarissa?' Ciel said impatient, ignoring Abberline's question. 'Are you done?'

'Almost done,' I told him, not looking away from the computer screen. 'Okay, so, no bodies have been found that match the missing children's reports,' I told him, after I had searched for the last name in the database.

Ciel didn't look surprised. 'We'll leave after you've printed the data. We might as well borrow the photos.' He walked up to me.

I thought he would say that. Good thing I had copied all the children's profiles into a different file that I could easily print.

'You can't do that!' Abberline said, waving his hands like an idiot.

'If you get found out, just say that I was here,' Ciel said, clearly only saying that to shut him up.

Abberline wasn't _that_ stupid, though. 'That'd get me in even _more _trouble!' he screamed, sounding truly scared.

I laughed as I clicked on the 'print' option. _You think? _I thought sarcastically, almost saying it out loud.

Ciel was looking at the screen now, pointing Sebastian in the direction of the printer, where pages full of data was coming out now. 'Listen… Hmm, Underline, isn't it?'

I held in a laugh. Nope, that wasn't it. And I bet Ciel knew that that wasn't it. Maybe he just liekd to tease the poor guy. Even though Ciel did not seem like that kind of boy, he _was _sort of raised by a demon, so it wouldn't be surprising.

'It's Abberline!' Abberline corrected upset.

Sebastian handed Ciel the information while he spoke. 'You've been a great help. We appreciate your cooperation.' While he looked at the files in his hands, Sebastian walked up to Abberline and handed him something. Money, I guessed.

That was something that Abberline didn't appreciate. He grabbed Sebastian's hand. 'I'm not for sale!' he told him. 'I just want to do whatever it takes to bring those children home!'

Ciel tapped on my shoulder to tell me to stand up, which I did. Ciel walked passed Abberline, towards the door, as he said: '"Whatever it takes," eh? Very flexible of you – you have a bright future ahead of you.' Sebastian followed Ciel and I came last, walking slightly faster to now fall behind. 'Hurry and get yourself promoted, Abberline.'

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'So they're still being treated as missing persons,' I said as we sat in the car, Sebastian driving.

'By respectable society, perhaps,' Ciel said, 'but someone in the underworld may have already disposed of them.'

I'd been with Ciel long enough to know what that meant. 'So we will be visiting the Undertaker again?'

'Indeed,' Ciel answered. 'I'd really rather not, but needs must.'

I laughed. 'Yeah, he _is _a strange fellow, that man. And I really have no idea how old he is. He looked sort of old… but then again he doesn't have wrinkles…'

Ciel lay his walking stick on his lap and crossed his arms. 'I wouldn't dwell on that man all too much.'

I shrugged. 'Why not? It's not like I have that much to think about these days.'

Ciel sighed. 'You have, though.'

I looked at him confused.

He rolled his eye. 'Ash Landers. Drossel Keinz. Your father. Your mother. Your purple eyes. They are all small mysteries had haven't been solved yet. Not completely, at least.' He frowned. 'And I'm starting to think that your mysteries might be important mysteries for me as well.'

I shivered, but it wasn't the cold weather that caused that.

* * *

><p>XxX<p>

'They're nowhere.'

'Huh?' me, Ciel and Sebastian said in unison.

The Undertaker was sitting behind his table, that strange smile on his face and that weird tone in his voice as he spoke. 'None of them were my customers and there aren't any rumours, either.'

'In other words,' Ciel said slowly, 'you don't know a thing about this?'

The Undertaker didn't seem to agree with that. 'I beg to differ,' he said. 'I know that I _don't _know.'

Well, that sounded needlessly deep. Even though I knew he didn't meant it that way, but it certainly did sound that way.

'True,' Sebastian said, 'if _you _don't know, that would mean no one in the underworld killed them.'

'If their bodies haven't been found in either circle, they're still alive,' I finally said, putting the last pieces together.

Ciel closed his eyes for a second before he responded. 'If that's the case, I suppose our only choice is to personally investigate that circus.' He grabbed his walking stick, which he had put against the table, and started to walk towards the exit. 'We'll go there straightaway, Sebastian. Undertaker, contact me if you hear anything.'

I guess I should've been hurt because he didn't mention me, but I was way too used to care.

But before we could reach the exit, the Undertaker opened his mouth again. 'My Lord…' he said, making all three of us turn around to look at him. 'Each of us only gets one soul. Be sure to take good care of yours.'

I shivered. The way he said it didn't sound trustworthy at all.

'I know that,' Ciel said, clearly not really listening and not really caring. He walked out of the shop then and Sebastian followed, leaving only me to hear the last words that the Undertaker said.

'Do you really?'

I shivered again. _No, _I thought, _he does not. But can you honestly blame him?_

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of chapter 33! Today's word is 'apple'. Dutch word for apple is 'appel' (looks and sounds pretty much the same, only a bit different) and the Japanese word was 'ringo' I thought.**

**They are going to the circus! YEAH! I loved the circus-arc in the manga as well as the anime.**

**Silver Moon Fairie: thanks for finding a song, but the links doesn't work for some reason :(**

**promocat: Yeah, that's true. But they both don't really have a choice gna gna.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey, guys! Sorry for not updating on Friday/Saturday; I had parties and was very, very tired. I'm still tired, so if this chapter is full of typos then again: sorry. Also, people have told me how this story does not work in modern day setting and yeah, I can see where they are coming from. But hey, it's my story and you don't have to read it if you don't like it. With all that out of the way, let's start the chapter.**

**I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters. But I do own my OC.**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 34**

'Argh, we're like the only people over ten and under thirty here,' I whined as we stood in line before the entrance of the circus tent. I had never seen a travelling circus before, mostly because there weren't many left and I was surprised that they actually had the acts _inside _a tent. I thought that all the circus stuff had moved to theatres, but apparently not.

I had spoken the truth. There were only children with their parents, no teenagers to be found. Well, I guess it's not surprising, but I did feel kind of awkward.

Something I said was supposedly funny, because Sebastian chuckled. 'What?' I asked him. 'What's so funny?'

'Under thirty,' was the only thing he said and I realised that he meant that he was way over thirty.

'Well, maybe I was just talking about Ciel and I,' I said cynically, rolling my eyes at him. I tried to hide the fact that his age kind of scared me.

'No, you did not,' Sebastian said, as if he had read my thoughts. 'You're just afraid because I'm older than everyone in this line combined.'

I shivered, but repressed all the other feelings that were coming up. '_That _old, huh?' I said, knowing that I'd said that before.

Sebastian's smile faded and his expression became hard as stone. He didn't react.

Ciel did, though. 'Can you two behave for once? We're in the middle of an investigation. Flirt in your own time.' He sounded kind of possessive, which I didn't understand, but it _did _sound funny.

'That reminds me,' I began, ignoring the flirt-comment that Ciel had made. 'Was there once a rumour about you that you _didn't _like?'

Sebastian got the amused smile back and Ciel looked as if the Undertaker had assaulted him again. This made me curious. 'What? What was the rumour?' Dang, why that I missed it? I didn't care about Ciel, so I never paid attention to the rumours.

'A few years back a lot of people thought a strange man suddenly living with this rich kid was kind of odd. So a certain theory arose,' Sebastian explained as we stepped closer to the entrance, still waiting in line. Geez, the line was going slow.

'Oh?' I said, finally enjoying myself in the cold winter night in the line of a circus that I didn't even want to go to. 'And what was that?'

'That me and my master were romantically involved,' Sebastian finally said, making Ciel cringe and me laugh.

'Are you serious?' I asked, still laughing. I simply could not believe it. 'You and Ciel?' I laughed again, but then suddenly I stopped. 'Well, it _does _sort of makes sense. I mean, you _do _look at Ciel like he's good enough to eat. People just don't understand that the way you look isn't lust, but literally hunger.'

I only realised that I had said something I shouldn't when Sebastian looked at me with a strange look and Ciel stamped his walking stick on my foot.

'Ouch!' I said, looking at Ciel, who looked surprisingly angry.

'Don't talk about such things in public,' he said furious, as if he would've torn me apart of it wasn't of the huge amount of witnesses.

'Sorry,' I said after a while, taking another step forward when the line moved.

We reached the entrance and Sebastian showed the man in the entrance our tickets. Finally we could enter the tent, which was a lot warmer than the cold outside.

The inside of the tent was pretty cool and grand. It didn't even look like a tent. It could just as well have been a theatre. As we walked up to our places, one of the higher rows and one of the last rows, Sebastian said: 'It's quite elaborate'. I had to agree with him on that.

'Yes,' Ciel said, not really sounding impressed. As he handed Sebastian his hat and coat he added: 'But no more so than any other circus.'

Well, I had never been to a circus before, so I wouldn't know. I just kept my mouth shut.

I was the last to sit down, next to Sebastian, who was still standing, clearly waiting for me to hand him my coat. I just shook my head and sat down, keeping my coat myself. I didn't think I could keep myself from sniffing my coat if Sebastian had held it, because I knew his smell stayed in almost everything he touched. And even though his scent was wonderful, I didn't want Sebastian to see me sniffing my coat.

It took quite a while for everyone to sit down. Then the lights suddenly went out and there was a silence that was almost scary.

As if Sebastian could smell my fear, he said: 'Do you want me to hold your hand, scaredy cat?' His voice sounded way to amused.

'Of course not,' I told him, hoping that Ciel hadn't hear me or him. Which he of course had, but a girl could always hope.

Then there was a spotlight, so sudden that I almost screamed of surprise. There was a young man standing in the spotlight, in the middle of the stage. He had orange like hair and wore a typical circus-outfit. The thing I noticed though was that one hand was a bit too freaky for my liking. Was that a skeleton-hand?

'Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls!' he then said loudly and I heard that his voice had a strange sort of accent. What was it? I wasn't sure. Maybe Scottish or something. 'Welcome to Noah's Ark Circus!' He juggled with the coloured balls he had in his hand and dropped them all on his head, making all the children in the audience laugh and making all the fathers in the audience face-palm. 'My name is Joker. Please to meet 'ee!' He grabbed one of the balls before it could fall on the ground and used the strange skeleton-like hand to make it disappear, making the audience cheer.

I only knew what it was when Ciel named it. 'A prosthesis?' he said softly, clearly only talking to Sebastian. I was only lucky enough to pick it up.

I then noticed that Sebastian had a strange look in his eyes and that he wasn't smiling. The corners of his mouth were pointing down, making me frown and wonder what was wrong. But I didn't ask.

The man with the strange orange hair, 'Joker', went to talking. 'Tonight you'll see performances to stun and amaze 'ee!' More spotlights went on, revealing more circus-members who had been standing there. For how long, I wasn't sure, but they all looked quite basic. Well, one woman was dressed quite… well, let's just say that I could see more of her skin than I wanted to see.

Well, at least now the dads were also having fun.

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The circus acts weren't any different than I had expected, but they were interesting to some degree. There was a fire-breathing man called Jumbo, who was truly gigantic. I wondered if he could walk indoors freely. Well, I guess you didn't have to worry about things like that when you lived in tents, but hey, a girl can wonder. After Jumbo you had trapeze artist, who looked like children but were clearly older. Maybe those two and Jumbo had a growing disorder, making one way too big and two way too small. Next up was a knife-thrower called Dagger. Really, what was up with these nicknames? Those two trapeze artist were called Peter and Wendy, but I wasn't sure why they all had such strange names. What, were their real names a secret?

The one after 'Dagger' was to me the most impressive, because he was surrounded by at least twenty snakes and they all seemed to obey him. A serpent-man, called Snake. Well geez, I wonder how they came up with that name.

This was the moment that Ciel was bored enough to open his mouth. 'Their acts are fairly standard,' he said.

'Yes,' Sebastian agreed. 'And They don't seem to be forcing the children to perform.'

Oh yeah, we were here for the children. I kind of forgot. But I thought these circus-artists looked innocent enough. Okay, the lady with the leather outfit was a bit strange for a children's circus, but hey, I wasn't judging.

Sebastian and Ciel were silent after that, but I wasn't. 'Maybe they force the children to do the chores. You know, cook and knit and stuff.'

'Yes, that's a possibility,' Ciel admitted. I was happier than I should be that he didn't just ignore me.

After the Snake-guy there was a tightrope walker, who the Joker called 'Doll'. She was truly beautiful and dressed in a white, Lolita-like outfit, but I couldn't help but noticed that her left eye was covered with her fake white wig. After I knew what was wrong with Ciel's eyes, I could never look normally at eyes again.

But she truly was amazing. Her skills on that rope were fascinating, even Ciel looked at it with amazed eyes.

The woman in the revealing outfit, whose name apparently was 'Beast', was the last one and she performed together with the tiger Betty. I looked over at Sebastian. 'Look, Seb, it's a kitty!' I said as a joke. He just looked at me for like a second before looking back at the tiger.

Joker didn't stop talking after introducing the tiger and Beast though. 'We'd love some audience participation for this act— Are there any volentee—'

Sebastian shot up, standing there like he had every right to stand.

'Oh!' Joker said, noticing Sebastian almost immediately. Well, we were sitting in the middle, so I guess that wasn't strange. 'This gent in the tailcoat sure looks eager! Please come up to the stage!'

Everyone cheered while I face-palmed and Ciel looked surprised. Really now, was he going to let Sebastian walk towards the stage? Did he think that Sebastian and Betty were a good combination?

Sebastian began to walk down to the stage while Ciel started to smile, making me frown. 'Are you going to let him?' I asked confused.

'Of course,' he said, sounding arrogant while crossing his arms.

Oh gosh. Ciel didn't get it. 'Um, Ciel—'

'Now,' Joker said, 'if you'll just lie down here—'

Sebastian walked passed the guy, completely ignoring him in the process.

Joker and Beast just witnessed as Sebastian walked up to Betty and started to pet her. 'Ah!' he said, sounding almost in love, 'what a lovely round eyes you have.'

I busted out laughing while everyone in the audience started to ask questions, not understanding what was going on.

That was the moment Ciel got it. 'Oh, blast!' he said softly. 'Tiger are cats!'

I just left harder, making me also one of the centres of attention.

Sebastian just started to talk to the tiger and the microphones that were on stage picked up on the sound, making everyone able to witness the awkwardness. 'I've never seen such vivid stripes! They're adorable. Oh dear, your claws have gotten a bit too long... we'll have to groom them.'

Every word he said just made me laugh harder. Ciel face-palmed, not knowing what to do know. 'Want me to go and get him?' I asked Ciel still laughing.

'Please!' he said, clearly not believing this was actually happening.

'And your paw pads are full and plump. Very attractive!' Sebastian said as I ran down the stairs and climbed up the stage. Now that I was here I wasn't really sure what to do. I didn't really want to get close to the tiger. So I walked up to Joker and said: 'He has a cat fetish, excuse me—'

The tiger opened his mouth and consumed Sebastian's head in an attempt to eat it. Of course, it didn't really fit, but while the audience started to scream I just laughed. This couldn't hurt Sebastian. I started to feel like nothing could.

Then, finally, Beast came in action, but not really in a way that was legal. She took her whip swung it toward Betty. 'Betty, let him go!' she ordered.

But the whip didn't hit Betty. Sebastian grabbed the it before it could hit him, pulling his head out of Betty's mouth in the process. 'She hasn't done anything wrong,' he said. 'I was so overcome by her charm that I behaved rudely, that's all. Also, indiscriminate whipping isn't enough to train her properly.'

Then Betty attacked his head again, making the audience scream once more.

Beast wanted to interrupt again, but I just smiled and said: 'Let me handle this.' Because I did not want to bring this circus into trouble because Sebastian couldn't control himself. 'Ladies and gentlemen!' I screamed. 'This was the last act: the man who can survive the tiger!' I knew it didn't make any sense, but I also knew that people would believe anything that explained a strange situation better than just the word 'magic'. Making them believe this was a trick would make it less interesting. Humans were stupid like that.

'Goodness,' Sebastian said, 'aren't you a tomboy, my dear?'

I held back my laugh while I talked: 'Now, watch us as we tame the tiger, making him release the man without touching him!' I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to fix that, but hey, I used to be pretty good with birds. I just stared at them and they would come flying towards me. So I hoped that that would apply to the tiger as well. And if not, then it was Sebastian's problem.

But the look he gave me told me that he knew I could do it. And that believe gave me strength, strangely enough.

I walked towards to tiger, slowly, scared, while looking into its – frankly beautiful, Sebastian was right – eyes. It seemed to look back, almost seemed to recognize me, and Betty closed her eyes, allowing me to put my hand on top of her head. 'Let him go, Betty,' I asked politely, almost as if I was hushing her to sleep. 'Let the man go, Betty. He just loves you, that's all.' Then I suddenly felt a strange feeling, as if the tiger tried to answer my words. 'You don't have anyone that loves you, do you?' I asked her, receiving no real answer. 'Poor girl.'

Betty let go of Sebastian, walked up to me and allowed me to hug her. While the audience cheered I looked at Sebastian.

And even though he had a really big cat right next to him, he did not look happy at all.

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'I didn't tell you to go _that _far!' Ciel said to both me and Sebastian as we walked out of the theatre. People were smiling at us as we walked, children pointed at us and mothers kept their children away from us, probably thinking that we were a bunch of criminals. Well, hopefully no one had recognized us. I didn't want to see my face in another magazine ever again.

'My apologies, my Lord,' Sebastian said, smiling brightly. He seemed to have found his good mood back and I still was unsure why he'd looked at me that way on stage. 'I've lived many years, but cats are such whimsical creatures, I still can't quite reach their moods.'

_Whimsical? _I almost laughed, but I held it in, because I didn't want to make Ciel any angrier than he already was.

'What was the point of attracting unnecessary attention—' Ciel sneezed, which made him even more angry. 'You know I'm allergic to cats!' he said. 'Stay far back, you two!'

Immediately obeying, me and Sebastian both stopped walking, giving Ciel some distance. I had to admit he wasn't very fast with his walking stick.

'Oh, there 'ee be!' I heard someone scream. 'You there, man in the tailcoat and girl with the beautiful hair!'

We turned around, seeing Joker running towards us. We had escaped him when he and the other circus-members tried to bring Betty back to her cage, but it seemed that he had found us again. 'I'm so sorry about what happened, sir.' Then he looked at me. 'And I want to thank you for saving our circus. You have no idea how much is means to us.'

Sebastian ignored that last part. 'No, please, I apologize,' Sebastian said, acting most befittingly.

'Gave me a scare,' Joker said, 'traipsing right up to the tiger like that! Are you all right?' Sebastian didn't answer, he looked over at Ciel. I decided to not do that so that Joker's attention would stay on us. 'We have a doctor on staff. Better let him have a look at 'ee, I reckon,' Joker went on. 'Please, come on back.' He then looked at me again. 'I also have something I wanted to ask the young lady.'

Ciel must have given Sebastian some sort of sigh, because Sebastian smiled his 'look at me, I'm such an angel'-smile and said: 'I don't mind if I do.'

I decided to go along with the plan. 'Me too, you can ask me anything.' Well, not literally anything, but I think he understood at least that.

Joker smiled. 'Great! Than you can follow me to the back, that's where the other tents are,' he explained as he turned around and started to walk.

I began to follow him when Sebastian grabbed my arm. 'Stay close to me, you understand? Don't wander out of my sight.' His face became cold and his voice sounded harsh when he said: 'I'm under no obligation to save you if you _do _wander out of my sight and get into trouble. Do you understand?'

The grip he hand on my arms hurt, but I didn't say anything, I just stared back into those red eyes, trying to understand what I had done wrong. 'Yes, I understand,' I said, sounding way more scared of him than I thought I was.

'Good,' he said, letting of my arm. 'Let's go, then.'

I sighed, slapped myself in the face to keep myself in check and followed Joker, trying to forget that the only protection I had was a demon who would love to have see me dead.

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><p>XxX<p>

**End of chapter 34! Hope you guys liked it! I had a pretty hard time writing this and I'm not all too happy about how it came out either. So, yeah. Today's word is… light. Light in Dutch is 'licht' and in Japanese it's 'hikari'. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.**

**Silver Moon Farie: I've listened to it: love it! And you're right, it does sort of fit.**

**PyrroLou: Yeah, well, I hope you'll like what I've planned for her!**

**promocat: Indeed, he can't take care of something that isn't in his care anymore. That sounded strange, but I hope you understand what I mean.**

**AppleTreeString: I understand everything you're saying and even think you're right. She doesn't have anything special except her powers and I just wrote her like I wanted her to, without any special quirks or anything. I do think that had something to do with the fact that her father didn't give her any room to become her own person and I also think she will become more and more herself as she opens up to everyone in the Phantomhive estate, but if this story isn't working for you, I understand and apologize.**

**Anyway, see you guys in a week or so. Also, it's my birthday this Wednesday, so yay! 'Cause, you know, making homework on your birthday is fantastic.**

**Love you guys and thanks for reading, reviewing and following and favouriting (if that's a word). Bye bye!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hello everyone! I'm updating today: because I'm sick! (not sure if that's a happy thing or not, oh well). It's getting harder and harder to keep Sebastian faithful to his character while also being attracted to a stubborn, really annoying human girl who only gets in his way. So yeah, there went my energy (not sure if you can even say that in English, 'cause it's kind of a Dutch way of saying that I put most of my energy in keeping Sebastian as close to his original character as possible. But yeah, I'm sick, so even if it sounded weird: you could forgive me this once).**

**Okay, I've become confusing. Let's just stop here.**

**Btw I don't own Kuroshitsuji. Does that surprise you?**

**Enjoy chapter 35!**

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><p><strong>XxX<strong>

**Chapter 35**

We walked to the back of the circus tent, where all the other, much smaller and frankly kind of gross and smelly, tents were stalled. We walked passed cages full of animals, performers and all kind of weirdoes that looked so out of place here that I had no idea why they were her in the first place.

'Right this way,' Joker said as he lead us through the people and the tents. Sorry it's so filthy.'

When me nor Sebastian reacted, Joker decided to shut up. A wise decision. While we walked towards the less crowded part of the circus camp, Sebastian opened his mouth, but talked just loud enough for me to hear him; making Joker unable to. 'You know, you lied back there.'

'I'm sorry?' I said, pulling up an eyebrow. Well, at least I had spoken with two words. He should be proud, because normally I would just have said 'huh?'.

A small amused smile was playing on Sebastian's lips when he said: 'Well, you told the audience that you were going to calm the tiger down without touching her, but you did – in fact – touch her.'

I rolled my eyes and gave him a little push. 'Geez, Sebastian. Stop nit-picking. I was only trying to save your ass.'

He looked at me with a dangerous look clearly to scare me off. 'I don't need you to save me.'

'Well, too bad,' I said, not influenced by his dangerous look since I knew it was only to scare me away. 'Because I did. And know stop whining about the details and start thinking of a plan. I don't think the doctor will think you're normal when he sees that you're not injured at all.'

Sebastian sighed. 'Oh, please. Have you seen this circus? Clearly none of them have even finished high-school. These are humans who are terrible low in the social ladder. It doesn't matter what I'll tell them: they will be stupid enough to believe it anyway.'

I rolled my eyes again, but didn't object. 'If you say so…'

We reached the tent and I saw the snake-guy sitting on a crate in front of the opening of the tent.

'Ah, Snake!' Joker said. 'Is the doc in the medical tent?'

I just stood frozen. Why did that guy still have snakes around his neck? The show was over, right? And were those strange – snakelike – eyes natural? That was so cool. I would love to learn more about the guy. Too bad he was creepy as hell and not really our priority at the moment.

The man didn't answer, but one snake pointed at another tent. Now that Sebastian had said it… he was kind of right. Joker and Snake both looked really young. They couldn't be much older than me. Twenty-five at most, but even that age seemed to old.

'Oh, maybe he's making round,' Joker said in response to the snake's response and Sebastian followed him without question. What, was I the only one who thought that was odd? Yes? Oh well, I was used to it by now.

We walked into a tent that looked like some sort of canteen, with tables and some people eating food at the tables. It was warmed here, but something in this tent made me shiver. I wasn't sure what it was though.

'Good, there he is,' Joker said as he walked up to a man in a wheelchair who was helping someone sitting at a table. 'Doc!'

I noticed that the man in the wheelchair, an older looking man with round glasses, had been helping Dagger with his… leg? Wait… That was a strange leg. Just like Joker's hand… Was that a thing or something? They should use that in their advertising. I bet it would work.

'Hey, Joker,' the man said friendly, almost fatherly. 'Is your hand acting up again?'

We were standing closer to the doctor and Dagger now and Dagger was looking at me and Sebastian with curious eyes, almost as if he did recognize us while also not recognizing us at the same time. 'Naw, today I've got someone else—'

Then Dagger seemed to remember why we looked so familiar. He shot up and pointed at Sebastian. 'It's you!' he said. 'You're the one who just got bitten by Betty!'

'Betty?!' the doctor repeated, sounding incredibly concerned. I decided I liked the man. He seemed very kind. 'That's terrible. We've got to get you to the infirmary!'

I moaned. Ugh, but we just went there!

Sebastian gave me a look. _Behave yourself._

I pulled up an eyebrow. _No chance._

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'Did you really get bitten by a tiger? I don't see any wound,' Doc said while inspecting Sebastian's head.

Sebastian actually went for a ridiculous explanation, almost as if he was trying to prove his point to me. 'Just an affectionate nip,' he said, smiling happily.

I almost laughed again. _An affectionate nip? _That sounded about as logical as tigers being _whimsical._

Doc smiled relieved, reminding me in some ways of my grandmother. Wasn't going to tell him that, though. He would only be insulted. 'Well, I'm just glad you're all right.'

'Too true!' Joker said. He was still with us, almost refusing to leave us alone. I hated to admit it, but he started to annoy me. Everything about his kindness and happiness just seemed too fake. 'I was afraid the troupe leader was going to kill me for letting a customer get hurt!'

This made me frown. 'You aren't the leader?' I asked confused.

Joker turned to me to answer. 'I'm more or less the hired replacement. The real one's scary.'

_Well, that fake smile of yours is scary enough as it is, though._

Dagger, who'd also decided to tag alone for no reason, stood next to Joker as he said that. 'Don't blame me if you get yelled at for saying that!' he said, smiling with his arms crossed.

Something about those two seemed strange. I mean, they clearly weren't family, but they behaved like they were brothers. I wasn't sure why that interested me, but it did.

Then someone entered the tent and we all turned to look. Ah. It was leather-wearing Beast. 'Doc, would you take a look at my leg—'

Dagger immediately melted away. 'Miss!' he said in an adoring voice, making his affection towards this woman rather obvious.

'You!' she said angry, clearly not talking to Dagger, but to me and Sebastian. Since Sebastian ignored her, I decided to do the same.

Dagger walked up to her. 'I'm here for my leg, too!'

I pulled up my eyebrows. _No, you weren't! Doc was helping you in another tent! You're here because you were curious!_

He wasn't done talking, though. 'Yet more proof of the red thread of destiny between—'

'You're those freaks!' she screamed, pointing at us while ignoring Dagger completely, making me sympathise with him. 'What are you doing here?! You wrecked my show—'

'Beast!' Doc said stern, sounding like a real father. 'You can't talk like that to a guest! This isn't his fault; it's yours for not being able to control Betty!'

That right! I felt a smile creeping on my face, as if we'd won a fight. You go and tell her, Doc! Okay, she was kind of right about the fact that we wrecked her show, but hey, at least _I _tried to at least make something out of it. She'd just been standing there like an idiot.

Beast came closer to us, still pointing at Sebastian. 'But _he_ walked up to her without—'

'No buts!' Doc said. 'You're a pro, aren't you?'

Joker decided to join the conversation. 'Now, Doc, please don't shout in front of our guests.'

Dagger also joined the conversation now. 'That's right, please just forget this and check Miss's leg!'

Wait, why was he calling her 'miss'? She couldn't be that much older than him, but he made it sound like she was ancient.

Doc sighed, giving in. 'You'll be retraining Betty after this, Beast. Is that clear?'

'Yeah,' she said harsh, clearly _not _agreeing with the situation at all.

Doc closed his eyes for a second before opening them, that warm smile back on his face. 'Right, then. Show me your prosthesis.'

'Prosthesis?' Sebastian repeated while he stood up. He had been sitting so that Doc could have a good look.

I was now standing between Joker and Sebastian and between those two tall men, I suddenly felt really short. 'We're a bit of an irregular bunch here,' Joker explained. 'We're a gathering place for people with certain problems. I'm missing an arm myself, but the Doc got me this fine replacement. Good looking, isn't it?'

I shivered. I didn't have anything against people like them, but the idea that his whole arm, and apparently Beast's whole leg, was fake just made me shiver.

Doc took of a part of Beast's fake leg and started to adjust certain things while he spoke: 'The design you picked is the reason you always need adjusting, you know. Put yourself in my shoes!'

I laughed, because now he _really _sounded like my grandmother.

Sebastian still remembered that we were here to investigate, instead of me, who had kind of forgotten until he asked this question: 'Do you make the prostheses for this circus, sir?'

'More or less,' he answered, 'it's a big job! I do everything, from carving the parts to final fitting. Because of this circus and it special performers, who get a free passes and money from the government. It may not me much, but it is enough to keep even such a strange business alive.' He put the part of Beast's leg he was holding back on its place and started to check if everything was okay.

That last part clearly didn't interest Sebastian. 'Carving them? Are they wooden, then?' he asked and I frowned, not understanding his sudden interest in the prostheses. What, did he think that Ciel would need one in the near future? Well, he might need one, if he kept on leaving his walking stick at home. Though he had brought it with him today.

'No,' Doc answered, 'ceramic, but I use special materials, so they're light and sturdy.'

Sebastian walked over and touched Beast's leg, clearly forgetting that it was, in fact, _her _leg. 'I see. They're quite smooth to the touch.'

'Aren't they?' Doc asked, clearly proud. 'And I use spherical parts in the joints, for nice fluid movement.'

Sebastian slid his hand up, clearly intrigued by the fake leg, making Beast and even _me _blush. 'This truly is fine work.'

Then he pulled up her leg, making the whole situation just rude. 'What's this seal?' he asked, making me frown. _Seal?_ With everything that had happened I learned to not trust the presence of a 'seal'.

That was the moment that Beast thought Sebastian had gone too far. 'What are you doing, you pervert?!' she screamed, pulling her leg free and kicking it in this direction.

Of course, Sebastian dodge her leg easily. 'Oh, I beg your pardon,' he said, not sounding apologetic at all. 'You didn't strike me as modest enough to be embarrassed by such trifles.'

I had to held in laughter. Geez, what was with Sebastian and his sassy comments today? Did he always say such things?

This of course only angered her more, to a degree that she even pulled out her whip. Of course Sebastian could easily dodge every attempt she made to hurt him, even protecting me in the process. I was impressed he even bothered to do that, but I was also bothered by the fact that I was so influenced by the fact that he had his hands around me while he held me like I was a dead fish. Did my presence really not influence him at all? Did his hand around my waist mean nothing to him? But the most important question was: could he hear my heart beat loudly in my chest, only because his arms were around me and his scent smelled so good?

Joker then grabbed me and pulled me away from the scene, to the only save place in the tent. Not that it looked entirely save, because next to Joker, Dagger was clearly boiling with anger.

'Oi, Beast,' Doc said, 'stop that!' Of course there wasn't much else that he could do. He turned to Joker and Dagger. 'You two, stop her—'

'How _dare _you lay a hand on lady's fair and tender skin!' Dagger screamed, pulling out his knives.

_Oh boy…_

The started to throw the knives in Sebastian's way, who again easily dodged them.

One jump caused Sebastian to end up on the pole near the ceiling of the tent, the one that made sure the that the tent stood the way it was supposed to. I was surprised that the pole could hold him and I was sure that the four others in the tent were impressed by Sebastian's skills. 'I didn't actually touch her skin… but I do seem to have touched a nerve.'

That was it, I just laughed out loud. It was a good thing that I wasn't the centre of attention at the moment, because my laugh truly sounded horrible now.

'Dagger, stop!' Doc said panicking. 'You'll shred the tent!'

'Miss Beast's honour is more important than this tent!' Dagger screamed, throwing more knives Sebastian's way.

The funniest thing was the fact that Joker was just observing it all, clearly not bothering to try and stop it.

Sebastian was kind enough to make sure that the tent was destroyed by catching all the knives Dagger threw. It _was _kind of stupid, though. I mean, I knew that Sebastian thought everyone here was stupid, but _come on. _No one was stupid enough to believe that a normal man could do all the stuff that Sebastian had done this past minute.

'No way!' Dagger screamed and the Joker whistled a sort tone, clearly impressed, but not thinking it was suspicious.

'Don't get cocky!' Beast said and as she tried to attack Sebastian one more time, Joker decided to make an end to it. He jumped and grabbed the whip, ending in front of Beast. He sued one of his magic tricks to turn his walking stick into a bouquet of flowers and handed it to Beast. 'Ta-da! All right, that's enough!' he said, still laughing that fake smile.

'What?' Dagger said, clearly disappointed. 'No!'

While screamed: 'Why didn't you stop them sooner?!' Joker looked at Beats in a way that I did not understand, but was kind of suspicious, and he said: 'here, Beast, don't be so scratchy.'

Sebastian jumped down as Beast said: 'But he—'

She was interrupted by Joker again: 'There, there.' He pulled her towards him, touching her leg way more affectionate than Sebastian had done. But it was clear that she wasn't going to punish him, nor was Dagger. The boss, but not the boss, huh?

'It's such an awesome leg, I can understand why he'd want to touch it,' he said while stroking her leg, making me blush and look away, only to see Sebastian smirking at me, clearly enjoying my embarrassment.

'Take these flowers and cheer up,' Joker said before releasing her.

Geez, with those seducing skills I wouldn't be surprised if he was a demon, too. Though I didn't think so since he didn't have red eyes nor pale skin. He didn't even have the dark hair that Sebastian had. Dark, soft hair that smelled like summer mornings…

Argh! I was dozing off again! I almost slapped myself in the face for thinking like that. Really, I shouldn't.

Joker turned to me and Sebastian. 'That was mighty athletic, sir!' he told Sebastian. 'I reckon I'd hire 'ee and the beautiful lady! You both seem very skilled!'

Wait… was he talking about me? _Beautiful? Skilled?_ I would've fallen for it if his laugh didn't seem to fake.

'I'd reckon I hire 'ee!' he finally said.

Sebastian gave me a look that almost seemed to say '_watch this_' before he leant towards Joker and looked at him. 'Is that true?' he asked, so intense that it made me giggle.

Joker looked totally surprised, but Sebastian wasn't quite done yet. 'Truth be told, my current master is so spoiled, I'm quite disgusted with him.'

I put a hand in front of my face, trying to cover my giggling. Ah, good thing Ciel wasn't here! But I had to admit that Sebastian had been right. Even though Sebastian played over the top and all around not believable, Joker seemed to believe every single word. The idiot.

'_Master?_' Joker repeated surprised. 'Be thee a servant, then? I took 'ee for gentry, dessed up so fine…'

What was that accent?! Seriously, I', sure I've heard it before. Just what was it?

I decided to join the act. 'He gentry? Hardly,' I said as I stood beside Sebastian with one hand on his shoulder, patting him as if we were best buddies. 'He's merely one hell of a butler.' I gave Sebastian a wink and he rolled his eyes, clearly not appreciating the fact that I was mocking him.

Joker pointed at me. 'Wait… be thee a servant, too?'

I smiled, knowing what Sebastian wanted me to say. 'Yes, I am! Though I'm not quite as capable as this guy.' I gave him a look that meant to say '_there, I gave you a compliment. Happy?_'

An arrogant smile appeared on his face. _Very much, thank you._ He turned to the Joker then. 'Now then, was that true? If so, I'd like to join you very much.'

'Me too,' I said, copying his intense seriousness.

'Not having me on, are 'ee?' Joker asked, clearly not as stupid as Sebastian as thought, but still quite stupid, I had to admit. Who would believe two strange people who had just ruined your show? For all he knew we were spies from another circus. Or serial killers.

'I never jest,' Sebastian said while pinching my arm, clearly telling me not to laugh while also making sure that I stopped patting him.

Then, suddenly, the Joker laughed and the tension in the tent seemed to disappear. He put one hand on Sebastian's shoulder and one on mine, smiling honest for the first time since I'd met him. 'Lord, that's funny!' he said laughing. 'All right, me 'ansome. Sure, join us anytime!'

Beast decided that that wasn't a good idea. 'Hey, Joker! You can't just decide that!' she said.

'But she's got such talent!' Joker said, his innocence now making me question whether I liked him or not.

'Pardon me,' Sebastian interrupted, clearly not wanting to cause another scene. 'There's actually another person I'd like to introduce to you.'

I gave Sebastian a glare. Did he seriously think that Ciel would join a circus? I'd think he would rather never drink tea again than join a circus.

'Oh? And who he bee?' Joker asked, looking curious at us.

When Sebastian wasn't answering I thought up a silly answer. 'He's my brother!' I said and I could feel Sebastian's eyes burn as he looked at me. Boy, he did not like the answer I gave, but hey, at least Joker bought it.

Joker smiled. 'If he's anything like 'ee, that's fine. But I reckon we'll give an entry test!'

Yeah, this wasn't going to work. Ciel didn't only have problems with walking, but the only thing that kid could do was being the Queen's Guard Dog and play chess. Not really circus-material.

'Very well,' Sebastian said, pinching me again when I opened my mouth to protest. 'We'll come back tomorrow with him, then. Thank you for all your help today.' He bowed and I followed his example, knowing that we both had to look like simple servants.

Sebastian grabbed my arm and pulled be towards the exit of the tent. 'Oh, sir—' Joker said, but Sebastian interrupted him before he could say anything else. 'No need to show me out,' Sebastian said and after that we walked outside, into the cold while I wondered what the hell we'd just done.

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**Yay, chapter 35 is done! No word for today, because I'm too sick and tired to think. Tomorrow's my birthday, yay! Hope I'm not sick tomorrow… that would suck. I think I might write another chapter today, so I'll probably upload that tomorrow morning or evening, depending on when I have time. It's my birthday present for you guys 3 (okay, cheesy as hell, but who cares).**

**Oh, and I'm actually thinking of changing the title of the story, since the current title was just something I came up with on a whim. I'm not sure what I would name it, but if you have any ideas, let me know!**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing, I love to hear from you guys! Heheh :)**

**Silver Moon Fairie: Yeah, I felt like that was something she would do XD**

**promocat: Thanks! And rather than not having a clue, I think Clarissa just decides to not think about it too much. But yeah, of course she also doesn't have a clue.**

**jacelover103: I'd love to update more! But you have this thing called 'school' and I can't always ignore it :( but thanks for the compliment, love to hear that you like it! And talking about a love triangle… you might love the upcoming chapters… hehehehe.**


	36. Chapter 36

**So yeah, not much to say here. I've said at the end of the previous chapter that I would write another chapter after that one and upload it either tomorrow morning or tomorrow evening, but since I'm not sure if I will have time to do that tomorrow, I updating now.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!**

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**Chapter 36**

As we walked outside I noticed that Sebastian wasn't leading us towards the exit, but towards another part of the camp that looked like it was the fancy-party of the circus.

While we were walking, Sebastian was speaking to himself softly, most likably not even aware of the fact that I could hear him. 'There were nine tents and ten carts before the medical tent. And further along, we have… some nicer tents. As long as I'm here, I might as well inspect them. But first…'

Sebastian suddenly dragged me behind the last crappy tent before the fancy ones started/ The fancy tents were surrounded by lights and strings attached to those, clearly to state that you couldn't just walk there.

'What is it?' I said shocked, thinking that something bad had happened.

Sebastian had his back against the tent and held me close to him, but not close enough to make me blush. It was close enough, however, to make my heart beat faster. 'I want you to go back to the car and watch Ciel. Wait there for my return.'

I laughed softly. 'Yeah, I'm not falling for that. You've told me that I shouldn't leave your sight. I know how badly you want me dead, Sebastian, but I'm not that stupid.'

Sebastian frowned and then pulled me closer to him, both hands on my waist. It was clear that he was going to try seduction to get what he wanted. 'If you're careful, you have nothing to worry about. Just don't wander off and join Ciel.' He made sure that his sweet breath landed on my face while he talked.

I wanted to close my eyes and forget that I was here with him, forget that this man was attractive. Forget that I probably only found him attractive because he was hot. 'I'm not leaving, Sebastian. Because as long as I'm here, you have to save me.'

He tilted his head to the right and narrowed his eyes. 'You're attracted to me, but it seems like you would rather die than admit that. Why is that?'

This question came complete out of nowhere and shocked me so that my mouth fell open. 'What did you just say?'

He laughed softly and let his arms slide up, grabbing my arms, holding me exactly where he wanted me to be. 'You are attracted to me, but you won't admit it. My question was; why is that?' He truly seemed curious.

And his pleading face made me burst the answer out: 'Because everyone else is, too.'

He frowned, but I wasn't done talking yet.

'Seriously, every girl, and some guys to, are so in love with your face and body that I feel like a slut for actually thinking the same. Because it's shallow. And because it's stupid. Because, honestly, I would not be able to forgive myself if I felt in love with a demon because of his personality.'

It was silent of a while and even though I regretted admitting it, it was relieving to say these thoughts out loud for once.

Then Sebastian grabbed my face in his hands and pulled it up so I could look into those beautiful dark red eyes. 'Ah, I have to admit that this does bother me to some extent. You see, humans are easy to manipulate when they have feelings for you. When it's only shallow attraction, it's not as affective, because those feelings can be put aside much easier.' His eyes seemed to glow when he said: 'So I think I have to make you love me even more. Even if you won't forgive yourself. Even if you'll hate me for making you love me. I want to know you will be by my side exactly when I want you to be.' And then he pressed his lips against mine, not being gentle or sweet this time.

His hands were on my hips as he pulled me even closer, forcing my mouth open to deepen the kiss. I was sure if it had been anyone else I would have been able to stop it. But his sweet taste and skilled moves made me unable to resist. I even started to respond with the same fire that he gave me. I touched his dark and soft hair and felt the soft skin of his flawless face. And just as I was starting to forget who I was he pulled away, but only after biting my lip.

'Ouch!' I said, immediately out of my trance, putting one hand against my mouth. 'You bit me! Again!'

'Yes, I did,' he said, looking and sounding way too cocky. 'You're even bleeding.' He chuckled and I noticed that he had a vague trace of my blood on his lips.

I was way too out of breath and feeling way too strange to strangle him, even though I wanted to so badly. 'I hate you,' I told him, brushing the blood from my mouth.

'No, you don't,' he said, shaking his head. Then he gently pet my head, almost lovingly. The next moment, he was gone.

Dang it! Now I had no other choice than to join Ciel in the car. So I started to walk towards the parking lot, hoping that Ciel wouldn't notice my bleeding lip.

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Of course Ciel noticed. The moment I sat down in the limousine next to him, he frowned and asked annoyed and not really interested: 'What happened to your mouth?'

'Nothing,' I said grumpy, not wanting to talk to him right now. I felt like killing someone and taking this rage out on Ciel didn't seem right.

'Well, where's Sebastian?' Ciel asked after a while, as if he'd read my mind and decided to give me some time to calm down before asking.

'Exploring,' I said, not looking at him.

Ciel sighed and grabbed my chin with his gloved hand. I was happy that he was wearing leather gloves, because it felt completely different than Sebastian's gloves. 'What's wrong? Did somebody do anything to you?'

Then, suddenly, he understood. Still holding my chin in a firm grip, he asked: 'Did _Sebastian _do anything to you?'

I swallowed hard and tried to think of an excuse, knowing that he would see through every lie immediately. It was no use. I couldn't lie to Ciel. 'Yes,' I answered. 'But that's all I want to say about it.'

It was clear that Ciel thought something else that I'd meant when I said 'yes'. His expression became cold, but certainly not calm. 'Did he hurt you?'

Well, I thought that he would have guessed by now. Bleeding lip, demon who had done something to me. It sounded pretty obvious. Maybe Ciel was more innocent that I'd thought. I wondered if he'd every kissed anyone.

Even though Ciel was still holding my chin I looked out of the dark window when I answered his question. 'No, not really. He was just being rude.' I was actually impressed because that lie sounded somehow believable. Maybe because, for the most part, it was true. It was rude to just kiss someone, but he had in fact hurt me. Not that my mouth was seriously injured or anything, but even lying about such a small matter was kind of impressive. At least, for me.

Well, I really did not want to talk about this subject anymore, so I decided to change it. 'By the way, Sebastian wants you to join the circus.'

Ciel let go of my chin and his face became absolutely murderous. Now _he _looked like he wanted to kill someone. 'What?' he said, almost spitting the word out.

'Well, yeah. For the investigation, I mean. Me and Sebastian were already invited, so no pressure there.' At least, I hoped. Joker never clarified whether me and Sebastian also had to do some sort of test or not. 'Oh, and I kind of told them you were my brother…'

'Are you mad?!' he asked, suddenly really annoyed. He crossed his arms. 'I'm not joying a poor travelling circus, that's way beneath my standers.'

I shrugged. 'You don't have to tell me that, that's something between you and Sebastian.' Dang it, I brought Sebastian up again. Luckily for me, Ciel didn't react. He just put his hand under his chin in a thinking manner, his eyes closed. And the way he sat there thinking, made me think of something I had wondered earlier. 'Ciel, have you ever had a girlfriend?' I asked.

He opened his eyes and looked at me with a cynical expression.

'Or boyfriend, that's also fine,' I said, almost scared I insulted him.

He still looked at me with that cynical expression on his face. 'Do you really think I have time for such nonsense?' he asked me.

Of course Ciel would think that things such as relationships were nonsense. He seemed to think that about friendships, so it wasn't surprising at all. 'Well, no. Not really. But I just wondered. I mean… have you ever kissed before?'

Now he just looked perplexed. He clearly couldn't believe I just asked that. 'I do believe that's none of your business,' he said snarky.

'And _I _do believe you're avoiding the question,' I said, having a small smile on my face. Having Ciel distract me from Sebastian's kiss was one of the smartest ideas I'd ever had. It was easy to forget things like that, since I'd always been good ad forgetting the things that I didn't want to remember.

He sighed annoyed, but didn't say anything. After what felt like ages, he finally spoke. 'I don't think it was Drossel, you know,' he said.

I had no idea how we ended up from a conversation about kissing to Drossel. I didn't want to talk about Drossel. I wanted to talk about stupid teenage stuff and just be a teenager for once. Was that too much to ask? 'What do you mean?' I asked.

'The mark in your neck,' he explained. 'I do not think it was Drossel. Drossel wanted to keep you as a doll and treasured you like no one else seemed to do. Almost as if _you _were his possession. And after meeting him – or at least a strange sort of copy of him – I came to the conclusion that Drossel loved you way too much to scar your skin like that.'

I opened my mouth to talk, to say that I really had been Drossel, but Ciel held up his hand, refusing to let me speak. 'I did some research on you, you know. There was a time, quite a few years ago, where you disappeared for almost a month. I wondered if your disappearance that anything to do with your strange illness and power, but records show that you have been sick since birth, so that wasn't it. But you _were _missing for a month.'

I frowned. This didn't make any sense at all. 'But I d—'

'Don't remember that at all,' Ciel finished my sentence. 'I know. I have become quite good at knowing when you're lying, which is one of the reasons I'm allowing you to stay. That and the Queen's orders. But also… I believe that the key to my revenge is in those vanished memories of yours.'

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Sebastian arrived at the car shortly after that and Ciel ordered him to drive to 'the town house' (meaning Madame Red's old house) because we would stay in London for a while to investigate the circus further, since they would be in London for another day.

Ciel waiting until we arrived to start his rant. 'I'm asking you why that suddenly became the plan!' He shouted as Sebastian opened the door and Ciel took his coat off and gave it to Sebastian. When he handed Sebastian his hat, he said: 'When did I order you to say that?!'

Sebastian's smile was only amused. He was clearly annoying the fact that this situation annoyed Ciel. 'Is it inconvenience for you, my Lord?' he asked, only pretending to be kind. His sadistic smile told me otherwise.

Ciel shot him a deadly glare, but then noticed that I was standing next to him and the look on his eyes told me that he had forgotten I existed for a second. 'We'll argue about it later,' he told Sebastian, looking away from me. 'I'm exhausted. I want to go straight to bed.'

Sebastian's smile was gone, but I wasn't sure because his fun was over or because he was holding it in. 'Certainly, but—'

The door that led to the living room flew open and Soma ran towards Ciel with an enthusiasm that was almost scary. 'Ciel! I'm so glad you're here! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting!'

I smiled when I realised that he kind of sounded like Lizzie.

Agni appeared behind Soma, also coming from the living room. 'Welcome home, Lord Phantomhive, Miss Lane and Sebastian.'

'Right,' Ciel said, sounding as if being irritated had made him tired. 'I forgot _you _were here.'

And I didn't even know that they were here. So it was a nice surprise for me. I smiled as a way of greeting, but Soma couldn't see that because he'd taken Ciel into his arms. 'Ciel, it's been too long!' he said.

I chuckled, quite sure that Ciel didn't agree with that. Ciel probably thought that it hadn't been long _enough_.

Finally, Soma let go of Ciel, who looked quite grumpy when he did. 'I didn't expect you at the town house so early!' Soma said laughing. 'Did you miss me that badly? Poor lonely Ciel!'

That made me cringe and I wasn't even sure why.

Ciel completely ignored Soma's words. 'Sorry, but I'm tired,' he said, but he didn't sound like he was sorry. 'I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now.'

Soma looked like Ciel's coldness still surprised him. Seriously, you'd think that guy would be used to it by now. 'What?! But I've been so excited to challenge you to that "chess" game of yours!' He put his hands on Ciel's shoulder from behind, making him unable to see Ciel's face. And even though I couldn't see Ciel's face either, I was quite sure it was filled with rage.

'Don't you care about dashing my hopes?!' Soma said, trying to gain pity from Ciel.

'No!' Ciel shouted harshly, pulling himself free while starting to walk upstairs.

Then Soma got mad, too. 'What's wrong, Ciel?! You look so grumpy!'

That made me laugh, but also realise that maybe someone needed to get Soma off of Ciel's back. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Soma opened his mouth again.

'We finally get to see each other again, so at least smile a little!'

That made the whole room go quiet for a while. Sebastian and I knew that Ciel never smiled happily. He could chuckle and pull out an arrogant smile, but smiling out of happiness wasn't something Ciel did. I had started to doubt if he even _could_.

Then Ciel turned around, looking more angry then I'd ever seen him. He looked so angry it was almost funny. 'Shut it! I'm _tired_! So keep quiet!'

That shocked Soma, as well as Agni, who looked at Sebastian, looking for answers that he didn't get. 'Right…' Soma said and I saw that he understood. But that didn't mean that he shut up. 'You won't attract good fortune if you don't smile, you know!' he said in a tiny voice.

Agni looked at me then, finding the answers in my eyes. He approached his master and put a hand on his shoulder. 'Your Highness…' was the only thing he said.

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It was actually Agni who woke me up that morning, telling me that Ciel had requested a meeting with me and that I should go to the living room when I was ready. He also told me that he and Soma were going into town.

So I got dressed and walked downstairs, only to find Ciel in the living room with a cup of – you guessed it – tea. 'Good morning,' I said cautious, not sure what Ciel's mood was today.

'Good morning,' he said. 'Sit down.'

I did as he said and frowned when I didn't see Sebastian around. I didn't say anything, though, because I wasn't ready for an awkward situation this early in the morning. 'So… why did you want to talk with me?'

'Me and Sebastian will join the circus,' he told me. 'And because of a for us convenient lie you've told you'll have to come with us.'

'That had been my intention, yes,' I told him. Then I frowned. 'Convenient lie?'

'Yes,' Ciel said, 'even though there aren't many pictures of me around and the circus almost certainly wouldn't know who I am just by looking at my face, it sure is convenient to have a sister. Because Earl Ciel Phantomhive doesn't have a sister, they'll see you as prove that I am not him, even if they do recognize me.'

I frowned. 'But I have been in many magazines, too. And Sebastian has even been on television…'

'Poor circus artists don't watch television and you and Sebastian both only appeared in teenage girls magazines and local newspapers. Not really something the circus artists would have seen. The only threat is the audience, but I'd like to finish the case before we have to perform. And if that doesn't work, then the huge amount of make-up worn by circus artists will have to do. Do you understand?' he asked.

'Well, yes,' I said. Then I thought about and changed my answer. 'Well, no? Yes? I think so? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to understand.'

'Act like we're brother and sister. Act like a servant. Put please, don't overplay your part.' He pulled a disgusted face. 'And stay out of trouble as much as possible.' He didn't deny the fact that I wouldn't get into trouble, but he did ask me to keep it to a minimum. That humoured me.

'Anything else?' I asked him, holding my face slightly tilted to the side.

Ciel nodded. 'Yes. Please make sure to keep your secret powers to a minimum. I understand you'll have to use them for time to time to be accepted by the circus, but don't be suspicious.' He frowned when he saw my confused face. 'Why did you think Joker invited you to join, Clarissa? Because you had the tiger under your control. That's an amazing power. And the only power you'll use. I know that you probably don't even know what you can do to this point, but if you ever feel the urge to use your powers, whatever the situation is, don't give into it. Unless it doesn't endanger the case. Understood?'

I was surprised that Ciel acknowledged the 'secret powers' I had. I thought he and I were the same. Both ignoring its existence until someone explained what the hell it meant. Apparently, that wasn't the case. Too bad. If Ciel had faced that fact, then I had too, at least at some point. That idea alone frighten me more than the upcoming day and what it would bring us. 'Understood.'

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**End of chapter 36! I'm actually not sure whether it's legal in England to work in a circus if you're under eighteen, so if it isn't, just pretend it is, because I never get involved in politics. Again no word today, because I'm still sick. And again sorry for the typos, I keep trying to make none, but I keep finding them when I reread the chapters later. I'm looking forward to the next few chapters, I've planned some pretty exciting stuff. Hope you guys will like my ideas (when you actually get to read them, of course)!**

**See you soon and thanks for reading/reviewing/following/favouriting!**


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